"A-An offer," Tsuna stammered out. "What do you mean?"

Byakuran smiled at him. "I suspect that you have, ah, latent abilities that will aid me. And in exchange for your help, I'll give you something in return."

"Latent abilities?" That wasn't right. There was no way Dame-Tsuna could have anything like that - he was useless. Besides, he couldn't trust the guy that put him in hospital anyway.

He forced himself to be still, to watch this strange person carefully. Maybe someone could help him with this later – but he didn't know anyone who would be willing to.

"I can heal you," Byakuran said, waving at Tsuna. "It'd be pretty easy." He winked at Tsuna, and Tsuna looked away, feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

"I'm not going to work with you," he said flatly, remembering the pain of watching his blood and the feeling of the knife being retracted, the cold metal and the burning everything was burning-

"I'll handle anything too difficult," Byakuran cooed. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe." His voice was...strangely soothing, Tsuna noted. If he hadn't gone into that room, could this man have been his friend?

"I'm not stupid," Tsuna protested, really wishing he'd never gone to that awful restaurant. If he hadn't - he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be in the hospital, he wouldn't be talking this...monster, he wouldn't have to deal with Yamamoto or his foreign friend.

He just wanted to be normal. Why was that so hard to manage?

As if he read his mind, marshmallow-man leaned forward and smiled gently at him, almost pityingly.

"If you want, I can help deal with the bullies. And give you a normal life."

...Yeah, this guy was probably reading his mind. His eyes were a little too piercing, his smile a little too knowing.

(But Tsuna couldn't be sure. He was dame and stupid and useless-)

"I can even tell you about your father," he continued. "About him and your mother - your family, really. About the other worlds you saw..." He trailed off, watching Tsuna's expressions shift and collide.

"Why did you stab me?" He asked hoarsely. "If Kawahira-san hadn't been there to stop the bleeding-" by sticking his hands in Tsuna's chest and closing the wound, "-then I'd be dead right now."

"I wanted you dead," he said cheerfully. "In other worlds, you're a huge threat. The biggest one."

"Surely not all of them," Tsuna said, feeling his face go pale. The heart monitor showed his pulse remained the same. That can't be right – he could feel his heart hammering against his ribs.

"In the other ones, you're either dead or normal."

"Dead?" Tsuna jolted in his seat sharply, bile rising in his throat. "What the fuck do you mean?"

The man closed his eyes briefly as though pained. When he opened them again, his eyes were dull. "I liked my fights against you," he said regretfully. "They were always entertaining. The best victories."

"I'm-?"

"But in other worlds, you've either killed yourself or been killed already."

Tsuna clutched the blankets, feeling himself fall backwards. A faint buzzing in his ears-

(Dame-Tsuna, dame-Tsuna, dame-Tsuna-)

Hands on his face, concern in his eyes. "Would a marshmallow make you feel better?" Byakuran was peering down at him.

Tsuna stared up at him. "But in other worlds I'm normal?"

"Perfectly normal," Byakuran agreed. "The worlds in which you're dead are very few." Something told Tsuna he was lying, but he had no proof. This man – everything he said sounded effortless and natural. Byakuran released him and sat back down.

Tsuna felt his body crumple, strength draining out. "What do you want?"

"Your help," was the immediate response.

"With what? What could you want from someone like me?"

Byakuran smiled again, holding out a packet of marshmallows. Tentatively, Tsuna took one.

"That all depends." He waved a hand through the air. "I'll explain it all to you in good time."

Tsuna nodded, the sweetness in his mouth off-setting the bile. "Uh, if I may ask..."

"Hmm?"

"What's your name?"

"Oh, I haven't told you?" Byakuran seemed genuinely surprised by that. "My name's Byakuran." He clapped his hands together, dropping the packet in his lap. "Now, would you like to know everything now or later?"

"Isn't it a bad idea for you to tell me now?"

"You'll break the deal?"

"I haven't agreed to that..."

"You haven't?"

"...Is your memory okay?"

Byakuran rubbed the space between his eyebrows. "Sorry, Tsuna-kun. With all of these worlds, it gets a bit messy inside my head. You know how it is."

"No, I don't," Tsuna muttered. Louder, he said, "I might as well agree to the deal."

Byakuran paused, then brightened. "You will?"

"I have nothing to lose," Tsuna said dully.

"You have a lot to lose," Byakuran scolded. "But now that I have your word – do you want to know?"

"Is it going to take long?"

"Not as long as you think."

"Then...yeah? Why not. We have all night."

"Great." Byakuran popped another marshmallow in his mouth. "What would you like to know first?"

"Why were you fighting me - er, fighting other mes?"

"That's a long story...but in essence, you become a mafia boss, usually the Tenth – but that varies – and I'm also a mafia boss - which is true in almost all worlds at this point - and we fight as the two biggest mafia bosses."

"M-Mafia?" Tsuna was still stuck on 'mafia boss'. "I'm...mafia?"

"Oh yes. Your ancestor, Ieyasu, who was known as Giotto in Italy, founded the mafia family, Vongola. Which is now the strongest mafia family, by the way. In this world, as well as many others."

"Vongola..." Tsuna repeated faintly.

"You aren't in training because the Ninth's children are all still alive. His three- ah, four sons."

"So in the worlds I'm a mafia boss, this ninth boss guy doesn't have children?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I kill them." Byakuran placed a finger on his lips, winking mischievously. "Don't worry. I haven't got around to that just yet."

"Okay?"

"And then there are Flames. Made from your soul, if you will." Byakuran waved his hands through the air again. "I'm always bad at explaining this part."

"I don't think I'm ready for that sort of information just yet," Tsuna said hastily. He wasn't too keen on finding out more about anything otherworldly. The inky eyes, the room of mirrors (and the pain of being stabbed-) was enough of Tsuna. "Back to the whole mafia-boss thing..."

Byakuran nodded sagely. "Are you pleased to know that?"

"Is that all I'm left with? Normal, dead, or a mafia boss?"

Byakuran looked at Tsuna curiously. "Where I say 'normal', I mean any fate not 'dead' or mafia-related. It could be anything, really."

"O-Oh."

"Mafia's the most common fate, given your father works in that world."

"That no-good father?"

"Ah, so he's terrible in this world too?"

"Yeah, he is." Tsuna pulled a face.

"In any case..." Byakuran offered Tsuna another marshmallow. "I don't have the memories of literally all the worlds. That'd be a bit too much."

"Too much?"

Bykuran smiled patiently. "There's an infinite number of worlds, Tsuna-kun. I can theoretically fit it all in, but I'd have to risk my sanity. I'm already pushing it by focusing on ten worlds a day."

"Ten..."

"But we're all expert information gatherers and the like, so for the most part it's fairly easy. Although admittedly, some worlds are dramatically different to ours. I may to blame in some, but in others..." Byakuran looked troubled for a bit.

"O-Oh." Tsuna stared down at his hands. "Um, Byakuran-san..."

"Yes?" Byakuran's expression cleared.

"Are you planning on making me a mafia boss?"

"Not quite."

"Then what?"

"I'd rather you join my mafia family, or take on government work as a bureaucrat." Both roles put him in some form of power, Tsuna realised.

"Um. I don't think I'm smart enough..."

"Nonsense," Byakuran brushed Tsuna's words aside with another wave of his hand. "You just need a little...unsealing."

The glint in Byakuran's eyes made Tsuna fear for his life.

A/N

this chapter was longer than I expected (I thought I'd look at like, dera or yams some more...but idk dudes).

while it's a recap of the series in some places (sorry!) I thought it'd be prudent to set up the places where canon-tsuna and this-version-of-tsuna line up. hope it didn't confuse anyone asqdfvgbhnjm