The Power of a Name

Weiss opened the door for her girlfriend, Yang, who waddled slowly behind her. Even from this short trip up the stairs and through the bedroom to the ensuite, her swollen feet ached and merely one flight of stairs had her huffing and puffing for breath. Her back, though strong, was sore from carrying around thirty pounds of extra flesh all day long and being stuck in one position the whole night when she slept. Her breasts were tender and enlarged, getting ready to perform their primary biological function, and her bladder was being strangled by her hugely expanded womb, halving its capacity, and thus, she needed to use the toilet twice as often.

She had to be careful moving around, otherwise her bump would knock into things or knock them over, or her leg could dislocate out of her hip. She could feel her little passengers move around, and she could tell that one of them had their head directly on her cervix from the steady amount of cramps she experienced in her pelvis. It was cute to watch parts of her belly protrude, but, again, more discomfort accompanied being punched and kicked from the inside. Being tired was pretty much her personality, heartburn kept her up late and she was constantly having to wake to use the bathroom.

Yes, Yang Xiao Long was pregnant. Extremely pregnant, like ready-to-drop, 39 weeks pregnant.

The only saving grace was her adoring and doting girlfriend, Weiss Schnee. There was very little that Weiss would not do for Yang. Weiss took it upon herself to ensure Yang's comfort 24/7, though she obviously couldn't eliminate the physical symptoms of being this close to birth. She confidently supported Yang through her false contractions, and had already packed her hospital bag for when the actual time came. Weiss was, at first, terrified of Yang's dramatic mood swings until she understood why they were happening (Yang's raging hormones doing frequent loop-the-loops were to blame), then she could soothe Yang when she cried for absolutely no reason at all, and calm her down when a sudden bolt of rage struck her from out of nowhere. They laughed about her weird cravings, but Weiss took it deadly serious when Yang wanted a specific pineapple ice cream in which to dip her BBQ chicken wings.

Weiss was used to Yang asking for odd things, but she was a bit taken aback at her latest request.

"You don't have to do this, you know. I don't care."

"I care."

"It's fine. There's nothing wrong with letting your hair grow out. Who can blame you, you're very, very pregnant."

"But I don't like it, and I want it gone. I can't bend to reach it myself and it's tough to see in a mirror, so you have to do it for me."

"Yes, but, are you sure you want me to do this? I could cut you. Like I said, I don't care either way and I'm the one who sees it, not you."

"The midwife will see it. If there's complications, the doctors will see it." Yang shoved the razor in Weiss' hand. "Get rid of it."

"Why do you care what they'll think if you have a bit of pubic hair? They're medical professionals. They've seen it all before."

"It's not a bit, it's not even a bush, it's a fucking jungle and it's itchy and gross."

"I wouldn't want to risk hurting you."

"I'll fucking deal with the razor burn. It's minor. Compared to what is about to happen to my vagina, it's kind of a drop in the ocean."

"Fine, whatever you want. I promise I'll do my best to be careful, and I'm sorry in advance if I nick you. I'm not very good at this."

"Yeah, because you hardly have any hair Down There." She did obviously grow hair in that place, just like any other adult. However, it was thin and wispy, and had minimal coverage compared to Yang's thick curls. Plus it was white, so practically invisible against the palest part of her skin.

"Actually it's more to do with the fact that I get it waxed. I would suggest that, but someone is too much of a wuss to go through with it."

"I have so much more hair than you do, it'll hurt like a motherfucker for me because waxing is literally having every single one of your hairs ripped out along with a top layer of skin. It's fucking savage."

"Oh, so using a blade on your genitalia is less barbaric."

"Do it right, and the blade is just for the hair."

Weiss sighed and rolled her eyes. "So like, do you want a line or a shape?"

"Bald, I want it all shaved off. How I used to do it before I became a beached whale."

"Right then, open your legs."

Yang hiked up her stretchy maxi dress and sat on the edge of the bath. Weiss had to help her pull her panties down. Weiss sniggered as she put the razor to one side and stuck her face on Yang's cunt.

"Oof! Hey, this isn't what we agreed. Can you not, I'm hairy and tickly right now."

"Don't care. I'm horny."

"Don't do that. I mean, by all means, go to town once you've mown the lawn, but not before, please. It's embarrassing."

"Why?"

"It just is, ok?! It's overgrown and ugly, and it never feels clean. It gets in your way. When you put your mouth on my bearded axe wound, I cringe."

"Yeah, but, surely it's my opinion that counts since it's my mouth. Considering the other places I put my tongue, a little bit of hair's not going to gross me out." Weiss laughed and then stuck her tongue out, piercing through the fringe of fur lining Yang's lower lips.

"Stop, stop, stop!"

"Whaaaaaat?"

"I need to pee."

"Again?"

"Yes, again. I haven't peed for like an hour, I'm winning as far as I'm concerned." It took at least a minute for Yang to stand, it was too much effort to put her panties back on so she let them fall all the way down and off. Yang sat down on the toilet with a sigh of exertion. Almost immediately, Yang released a pathetic streak of dribble piss.

"That was it?"

"Yeah. Annoying, right? Felt like I had loads of pee in there, but it's just pressure."

Yang wiped herself. There were some things that Weiss wouldn't do, although long gone were the days when they felt shame about their natural bodily functions, so peeing in front of each other was old hat. The moment Yang stood up Weiss was on her again.

"How can you still want to fuck? I feel so unattractive at the moment."

"Because it's you, and I love you. And don't forget, I had sex with you whenever you wanted during the infamous second trimester. If I'm not mistaken, I remember the smell of toast got you going, and I found you masturbating to the 10 o'clock newsreader. You were insatiable."

"He had really good hair that day! But anyway, that was before I was a heifer." Yang took great pains to bend her arm back so she could scratch her buttcrack. "This is the least sexy I've ever been."

"I don't care. I'll always find you attractive, even when you're old, wrinkly, and have tits down to your knees."

"You're laughing now but just you wait until all my clothes are covered in baby shit and puke stains."

"Then I'll just take them off. Are you gonna let me on your pussy or not? A good orgasm would probably make you feel better about yourself."

Yang huffed. "Fine. But I won't enjoy it."

"Yes, you will."

Yang rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but only a tiny bit." Still, she held the dress up for Weiss to have unfettered access to her muff. Without being much in the mood, Yang's body reacted quicker than she did and that was all the encouragement that Weiss needed. That tiny bit of enjoyment had snowballed, and Yang was finally getting into it. She hummed sensually, her eyes falling closed.

Suddenly Weiss jerked backwards and retched. She clutched her throat, and surreptitiously tried to remove something from her mouth. Yang's eyebrow cocked and she noticed anyway.

"Hair stuck in your teeth?"

Weiss choked and coughed. "Yeah, and I think I swallowed one." Weiss was unable to look at Yang's expression of justified vindication, mainly because Weiss was proved wrong, and that never, ever happened. "Ok, I'll shave it."

Weiss started the faucet to wet the razor. Brows scrunched up in concentration like she was a surgeon performing triple bypass surgery, Weiss' hand shook as she made the first stroke with the shaver. She rinsed it off and let the clean quadruple-blades glide over Yang's mons pubis. Weiss pulled taut the skin to ensure the hairs were cut as close as possible. Slowly but surely, Yang's hair was removed and dumped down the drain.

They observed a moment of silence for Yang's beheaded pubic hairs.

Now came the fiddly part: the softer, finer hairs on the labia majora. She chose one to work on first, and gave it a good inspection, calculating with terror how close it was to the sensitive pink flesh and the direction of the hair growth which was not conducive to keeping the razor away from the labia minora and Yang's clitoris.

Weiss had touched her vulva hundreds, if not thousands of times, but Yang wanted more than anything to close her legs and shut her out. Weiss put a calming hand on her thigh. "Don't move, I really don't want to hurt you by accident."

"Stop, stop, stop. I shouldn't have suggested this, this is too fucking strange."

"I've started now, I can't just quit halfway through. Half a shaved pussy is a helluva look, I don't know if you could pull it off." Yang said nothing more to Weiss' attempt to lighten the mood, and turned her head aside. She couldn't look, not that she could see Weiss' head being eclipsed by her ginormous pregnant belly. "So did you think more about what you want to name our boy?" Weiss pressed on to get some conversation going, rather than let their awkwardness continue into prolonged embarrassment.

"Yeah. Actually I did some research into your family tree. I found a few possibilities."

"Oh? I thought we were trying to think of brand new names."

"Well, at first, it was just for inspiration, but the deeper I went, the more interesting it became."

"I'm both terrified and intrigued by what you found out. Go on."

"Did you know that your ancestor, Gwenevere, which is also a variant of your middle name, was married to the king of Mantle? So you're descended from royalty, like an actual princess."

Weiss smirked. "I did know that. I have an uncle who loves to tell people about our royal connection at parties. He's already written his coronation speech."

"That makes you sixteenth in line for the throne, which, when you think about, isn't actually that much."

"Yeah, but, for me to become queen, my father and Winter would have to be dead first. Plus, I think the Duchess of Cantabrigia is pregnant again."

"Is she? That's cool, but the Schnee royalty thing gets even better. Your claim to the throne was only confirmed almost exactly thirty years ago by DNA testing of the remains of King James II because Gwenevere, the naughty minx, was having an affair."

"Oh my god, with who?"

"King Archer's best knight, Lionel. Without the DNA, there was no proof that House Schnee wasn't a product of an illegitimate child from their affair. They did have a few bastards, up to five out of her six children, depending on which historian you ask. But since the Schnee lineage was so meticulously recorded, and can be traced back a thousand years thanks to your inherited semblances, none of the other noble houses had as strong a claim as you did, so everyone assumed you were descended anyway."

"That is really interesting. I'm impressed you delved so deep into my family history."

"Well, it's not just yours, it'll be theirs too. It's nice to know so when they ask about it, I'll have lots to tell them." At least that would be better than talking about Yang's side of the family, and the still-touchy subject of Raven. They could be satiated with tidbits about the royal family, a long list of noble relations, notorious feats by the prestigious and well-documented Schnee side of the family. She could also skip over their paternity, and talk about their famous grandfather and his huge success founding the Schnee Dust Company.

"To be honest, I'm very attracted to how you're remembering all these historical facts. Smart is the new sexy."

"I'll have to remember that. Maybe next time we fuck, I'll scream out the quadratic formula, you giant nerd."

"And you ruined it. Anyway, you were talking about baby names."

"Yeah, I came up with a couple names. Oberyn. "

"Oooh, nice. I actually like that. What does it mean?"

"Hear me out, ok, it means King of the Faeries."

Weiss tutted. "No."

"You didn't even hear me out! It's a really fucking cool name, a famous bard told a story about the Faerie King, Oberyn, and his Faerie Queen, Titania, and they were having a fight over whether Titania's baby was gonna grow up to Oberyn's knight. Titania said no, so Oberyn got a little goblin sprite to make a love potion that made the drinker fall in love with whoever they laid eyes on first, and made Titania fall in love with an ass. Not like an asshole, an actual donkey. But then he regretted it, so he went on a quest to get a magical herb to cure her and they lived happily ever after."

"Well, that's two minutes of my life that I'll never get back."

"Hmm, it was a lot funnier in my head, I'll admit, but don't you think it's an awesome name? We could shorten it to Obie, how cute would that be?"

"Very cute, but I really don't like the meaning. Did you have another option?"

"Whitley."

"I'm not naming our son Whitley."

"Why not? It's a perfectly good name."

"I hate it."

"Give me one good reason why."

"One, I'm pretty sure it's a girl's name. Two, that's so original to have both of our children's names start with the same letters as ours. Three, that would have been my name if my great-grandmother hadn't died, so it's a Schnee name, and I don't want him to have a Schnee name. Four… I don't have a fourth, but three's good enough reason."

"Geez, wow, ok. Sor-ry."

"Actually, I do have a fourth, there's that singer with the name Whitley. I'm not fond of her music, so there."

"Well, what's your idea then?"

"I don't have one. I just hate the name Whitley and refuse to call our son that."

"So at the moment, he's called Beany. Because that's what I've been calling him. He looked like a bean in his first scan, and I dunno, it just stuck."

"That's a joke, right? Beany is worse than Whitley."

"You can't just shoot down every possible name I come up with, and not have any alternatives of your own."

"I most certainly can. I decided very quickly on our daughter's name."

"Yeah, because it means 'white', just like yours. There are no boys' names that mean Sun Dragon, except my dad's name, and we're not allowed to call him that."

"Why not?"

"Family thing. If my dad had a son, then yeah. But Bean is not his son."

"Stop calling him Bean!"

"Bean! Beany! Mr. Bean! Dr. Bean! Lord Beanington of the Kingdom of Beans!"

"Oh please. If you're not going to say anything intelligent, then kindly shut the fuck up."

"Beany McBeanface."

"Are you quite finished?"

"Yes. For now."

"What about Aurelius?"

"Oh, Aurelius, our son, who's best friends with Horatio and Hamilton, and went to school with Fitzwilliam and who's married to Camilla." Yang couldn't help but snort with derisive laughter. "I don't think that's going to work. It's too posh for me to say with a straight face, I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

"So Felix and Augustus are also a no go, then?"

"Definitely. Where the hell are you getting those names anyway?"

"When we were younger, my sister and I tried to think of names we would call our children if we weren't Schnees."

"Now that you say that, those names make perfect sense. Still no."

"At this rate, we're not going to have anything to write on his birth certificate. It'll be Yennefer Xiao Long and her brother, Baby brackets No Name close brackets."

"I only had those two, and I thought they were pretty good. I was almost sure you'd like and agree to Oberyn. It sounds so cool. Well, Beany, you're just going to have to tell us your name when we finally get to meet you." Yang stroked her stomach as she spoke to it. "Which, just saying, should be sooner rather than later. Mama needs to evict you. I want my body back, so get the fuck out."

"Yang, don't say that. Shhh, babies, don't listen to her. She doesn't mean it. She doesn't know what she's saying. She's pregnant and crazy."

"Haha, very funny. You almost done down there?" Yang strained her neck to see what Weiss was up to, resembling a turtle stuck on its back in the process.

Weiss leant in for a close up, to double check she hadn't missed a spot. She ran her fingertip over the skin, judging the length of the stubble. Smooth as a baby's butt, and not a stray hair in sight. She was proud of her work so she placed a kiss at the top, noting how smooth it felt even to her lips. She grabbed Yang's hand and let her feel for herself.

"Happy now?"

"That's even better than when I do it. Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"Just trying to make you comfortable."

"Well, you did an amazing job. So go on, have at it." Yang heaved a leg up on the toilet seat, presenting herself to Weiss, with her usual swagger and bright grin plastered on her face.

"Actually, I can see you're feeling better about yourself already. My work here is done."

Yang sighed in relief. "Good, because I fucking need to pee, again!"

Weiss left her to it and prepared for bed. She placed Yang's body pillow in her spot, and set the covers just so for Yang to get them over her huge pregnant self without strain. Yang had a quick shower and pottered around the bedroom, struggling to get into her severely stretched short shorts, and a tent-like T-shirt.

After yet another bathroom visit, Yang climbed into bed. Weiss slipped in behind, taking her place as the big spoon.

"Thank you, for doing that for me."

"It was my pleasure."

"I honestly expected you to refuse."

"Why?"

"Because you said you didn't care. It was weird, you being down there and touching me but not in a sexual way."

"I didn't mean that I didn't care about you, I meant I didn't care so you wouldn't have to go to all that trouble. I know you like to look good all the time, but you don't have to. Not for me, anyway."

"I don't want to look good for anyone but you."

"That's my point, you always look good to me. Even if you kept all the baby weight or gained like a hundred pounds, you'd still look great to me."

"Once these babies pop out of me, you know I'm heading straight for the gym, right?"

"Of course, I'll be right behind you."

"You're probably stronger than me by now. I wish I could go with you. Some girls can keep training like they're not even pregnant, but I got the short end of the stick and my lower back disagreed with my willingness to work out."

"You're carrying twins, though, that's rather unusual. The nurse said that the twins were much taller than the average, so they take up more room, so your movement is more restricted. I know you're sad because you can't go gym, but I train hard enough for the both of us. And thanks, I'm glad you noticed because I, too, like to look good for you. No one else."

"I love the way you look," Yang paused for that to sink in, "first thing in the morning," she added with a snigger. "Puffy eyes, crazy bed hair, sometimes drool hanging off your chin."

"Hey! I do not look like that, unless we've been drinking the night before and we don't do that anymore."

"I'm just teasing you. I like when you're just woken up because I'm the only one who gets to see you like that, before you put on your warpaint for the day."

"I thought you liked my makeup looks."

"I do. But I like the girl underneath them more."

"Yang, I think your hormones are going nuts again." Yang tried to swivel her head around in confusion. "You actually said something romantic."

"Weiss…"

"Yes, darling?"

"I think I've either pissed myself or my water just broke."