The blinds next to her bed are open. They haven't been open since Kara- and for good reason. Her head's splitting in waves of throbbing agony. She closes her eyes and twists away pulling the blanket lazily over her head. Frowning she can hear light thuds of footsteps in her kitchen. She's too hung over deal with any intruders, instead, she relies on her senses to detect imminent danger. The footfalls don't get any louder. Good, she thinks, they're staying in the same location. Sniffing the air she smells coffee and bacon?
Alex tries to think back to what happened the night before. Flashes of Maggie all but carrying her up the stairs blur through her mind. It's been so long since someone stayed the night with her; since she's woken and not been alone. Her heart feels warm, heavy, and hollow at the same time. She buries her head into her pillow trying to preserve the sensation. Maggie deserves better.
In all of their time together Maggie's made bacon twice. After seven years of a vegan lifestyle it's a rarity for her to cook meat but occasionally she's made concessions for Alex. Typically after saving the world, or when Kara'd broke out the puppy eyes. Even after everything, for some reason, Alex can't wrap her head Maggie still looking out for her. Rolling over she hunches forward forcing a leg onto the floor. Testing it, she adds another and shakily makes her way toward the kitchen.
As she rounds the corner she abruptly stops. The blond figure in her kitchen doesn't seem to notice. Blond? Alex racks her brain fighting through the hangover fog to try and remember. She remembers struggling up the stairs with Maggie, she doesn't remember leaving again and she's not familiar with…
"Hey Alex. I'm not sure what happened while I was gone but we seriously need to talk about restocking the ice cream stockpile."
The world collapses in on itself. Alex's knees go weak. She hasn't heard that voice in eight months. The floor rushes up to greet her however before she can make contact warm arms wrap around her. Tracking the movement is too much for her brain to handle and she clenches her eyes shut. The arms are familiar-Kara always did run hotter than humans.
"Hey Alex, you ok? Ohmygosh your knee!"
This can't be real. Alex's mind reels as her fingers reach out ghosting across Kara's forehead.
"K-Kara?"
She grabs either side of Kara's face. Blue eyes, wisps of blonde hair, the scar over her eyebrow.
"Yeah Alex, it's me. I've got you. Here, let's move to the couch."
Instead of moving toward the couch Alex throws her body against Kara. She crashes against her little sister and wraps her arms tightly around Kara's neck. Her knee screams in pain before giving out. It doesn't matter, Kara returns the hug and holds them both up.
"What happened to your knee?"
Kara's voice is higher in pitch and frantic. It's the voice that she uses when she wants to freak out but is holding it together for the people that are around her. She has recordings of Kara's voice but they don't come close to the real thing. Alex's heart soars at the sound. She buries her head into Kara's shoulder and inhales. Kara smells like her bodywash and Alex recognizes her old shirt. It's one that they would playfully fight over, Kara always loved swiping her clothing. Kara shift so that they can make eye contact before glancing down at her knee again.
"Explosion-it's not important. Kara? How?"
Kara doesn't respond right away, instead, she carries Alex over to the couch and when they sit. Alex never relinquishes her grip on Kara, holding her sister close. Once they're seated Kara looks down opening and closing her mouth three times before deciding on what to say.
"Alex it's important. It looks like it hurts and you're acting kind of weird. Does your head hurt at all?"
Kara keeps raising her left eyebrow. Alex leans back and yep, textbook crinkle formation. The DEO agent side of her brain keeps screaming that this can't be real, but the ten years she's spent with Kara say that is, that she is. She's the right temperature, she smells like Kara, her speech patterns match up...
"How are you here?"
The blond hero looks confused and her crinkle grows.
"This is my apartment Alex. I was just in Barry's world for like a week. Remember?"
Alex shakes her head. She's not familiar with the name.
"Barry?"
Kara nods eagerly smiling down at her with bright eyes. Kind eyes. Kara's hand is gently brushing tears off of Alex's cheek while the other runs soothing circles on her back.
"Yeah! At least this time I stopped by and let you know before I left."
Alex's face gives her confusion away. Barry?
"Hold still. What's the last thing you remember? Does your head hurt at all?"
It doesn't but Alex concedes that it is a good question to ask. Her mind runs through possibilities. Hallucination? Alien shapeshifter? Black Mercy? No matter what caused this, having Kara back is too good to be true and she doesn't want to risk losing her to logic. She finally understands how easy it would have been for Kara to slip away in the fantasy. If that's where she is now, she's staying. Looking up she realizes that the prolonged silence has freaked Kara out. Blue eyes are staring at her so concerned.
"Alex, let's get you to the DEO. They can check you out."
Smiling softly Alex reaches out and squeezes Kara's hand maneuvering so that she's less in Kara's lap and more leaning against her.
"No. No, I'm fine. Promise. Can just stay like this for a while?"
Kara's concern only grows but she pulls Alex in for a tight hug before wrapping the throw over both of them.
"As long as you want."
They put on reruns of Homeland. Alex fights to keep a stiff upper lip but it trembles. She never thought she'd be able to sit on this couch with her little sister again. There were so many shows that Kara's missed, so many that she thought they'd never watch together. Every trailer that she saw was rated on a "would Kara like this?" scale. Every person that she met, she searched to find a piece of her sister. Before she can stop it tears start pooling in her eyes and sliding down her cheeks.
"Alex! It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Whatever it is, I'm here. We'll get through it together. We always do."
Those words and their delivery are so genuine. Authentically Kara. Alex can't hold back a sob and her body shakes. Through her tears she can see Kara's mind spinning, she's running through different possibilities for what could be wrong.
"Alex! What's wrong. What can I do to help?"
Alex breathes deeply and does her best to wipe away the tears. She's terrified that if she says the words you died Kara will disappear.
"I'm fine."
Kara shakes her head gently pulling Alex closer. She doesn't point out the fact that Alex was sobbing seconds ago but she starts rubbing small circles on Alex's back.
"Something happened but it's okay if you don't want to talk about it yet. I'm not going anywhere."
Kara's stomach grumbles after her statement and she winces as it kills the somber mood. "Do you want breakfast? I can go grab it super fast."
Alex's heart wrenches. Kara sends her a goofy grin as she offers food. The hero even hams up the delivery winking as she says super. As she moves to stand up and Alex's response is instinctual.
"No!"
She doesn't want to lose contact with Kara. She doesn't want to go back to a reality where she's drunkenly romanticising hey final year as an older sister. She didn't mean to shout but fear had overridden every other emotion.
"Just stay with me, okay Kara?"
Kara's eyes scrunch up and she stares down at Alex while the agent works to get her heart rate under control.
"Okay, okay Alex. I won't leave. I'll be right here."
Kara's hand finds Alex's and squeezes. She doesn't let go. Alex appreciates how tactile her younger sister is. It's grounding to have someone to hold onto.
"Kara. You… You know I love you right?"
Kara blinks in confusion as she scans Alex's face. Alex does her best to convey sincerity. She does, wholeheartedly and she needs Kara to know. She needs her little sister to know that she didn't...that she didn't mean to... that she loves her.
"Of course! Alex, you're really scaring me. First the apartment, and your knee, and you've lost weight… are… Are you okay?"
Everything feels odd like reality is tilted on its side.
"God Kara I'm fine I'm always fine. It's everyone else that gets caught in the crossfire."
Like a lightning bolt, Kara straightens grabbing and her free hand lands on Alex's shoulder, every muscle in her body tense.
"Oh Rao, is Maggie alright?"
It's such a Kara response.
"She's fine. Everyone's fine. Just… Just watch a few reruns of Homeland with me."
Kara's poker face has always been terrible. It's an easy read to see that Kara doesn't believe her but she acquiesces. It's not a hard sell, Alex knows how much Kara loves to curl up and watch movies.
"Only if you promise to eat. I can't wait for the new season!"
At the thought of losing contact, even if it's for a second, Alex bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. Kara notices immediately.
"Alex!"
Breakfast. She doesn't have an appetite but she can push around food on a plate. She meets blue eyes and nods.
"Just don't leave me. We can go to the kitchen together."
Kara shakes her head.
"Oh no, I've seen what that knee looks like. You're not getting off of this couch."
In a blur, the contact is gone. Alex can't feel Kara, can't smell her. The warmth of her is fading. Alex blinks and she's back in that lab and Kara is cold. Her little sister is so cold, and still.
"NO!"
Alex's sure that she'll never feel her sister again. She held on as tightly as she could but Kara slipped out of her grasp, twice now. Kara's back before she finishes screaming with food balanced on two plates and placing them on the table.
"Alex! Here, I was just grabbing toast. It's okay. It's just toast see? And I made your bacon smile! Because it's happy to see you."
She's not okay. She hasn't been in months. Eagerly Alex reaches out guiding Kara to put the plates down on the card table and resume their positions.
"Kara don't... don't run off like that."
Kara nods before biting her lip. She's been alternating between concern and trying to lighten the mood. Alex can see that worry is winning out.
"Alex what happened while I was on Barry's Earth?"
Biting the bullet, Alex asks the million dollar question.
"Who is Barry?"
Kara stares at her head and Alex knows that she's checking for any indication of brain damage. Kara nods slightly when she's done and shoots one last concerned look at Alex before explaining.
"Okay so, Barry. How do I explain Barry? Last time he did the explanation and he's so good at it! Alright so, the multiverse isn't just a theory, like, I've been to three different versions of Earth. My friend Barry is able to travel between worlds"
Alex blinks.
"You were in a different universe?"
"Yeah, here."
The contact is gone again and Alex's heart leaps into her chest. Seconds later Kara reappears with what looks like a broken fire detector. Wires stick out of it in all directions and sections of what was once the casing are completely missing.
"He gave me this device to travel between worlds."
Alex holds out her hand and Kara pass the device over. Every wire that she can see is frayed. Looking up at Kara she tries to wrap her mind and everything. Around the obvious.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
It's boggling her mind because Kara looks exactly the same.
"Who did I take to prom in 10th grade?"
Kara smirks.
"Trick question, you didn't go to prom in 10th grade. Why?"
She's right.
"Kara have you ever encountered an organization named Camus?"
Kara blinks at her staring intently before responding.
"You know I have. Alex, we fought them together"
Letting out a shaky breath Alex shifts away from Kara so that they can make eye contact.
"What… What's the last interaction that you remember having with them?"
Alex can't hold Kara's gaze as her sister responds. Instead, she looks down at the device in her lap and fiddles with the wires.
"Jeremiah left us for Cadmus. He stole the registry of aliens."
Alex tries to remember that day. Everything that happened around Kara's death is rough around the edges.
"Kara."
Kara reaches out placing a heavy hand on her shoulder and Alex can't bring herself to move away from the steady comfort.
"Did something happen to him while I was gone?"
Alex's stomach is filled with twisting lead and her throat is a desert. She tries to respond and her voice cracks.
"Alex, what's wrong?"
Alex changes the topic.
"Your portal device is damaged"
Kara nods.
"Yeah, I kind of feel on it last night… This morning?"
Her chin knocks up with her voice as she squints trying to determine the correct terminology. It's adorably Kara.
"Kara."
Alex calls her back to reality. Blue eyes widen then a shy apologetic grin shines down in her direction.
"Yeah?"
"Was it damaged at all before you came through?"
Kara's brow scrunches up and she nods hesitantly.
"Sorta but it still worked."
Alex shakes her head as she replies, "I-I'm not so sure that it did."
Notes:
I have a lot of ideas for where this story is going to go. I want Kara to get the chance to interact with Maggie, Cat, and Lena. Still, this fic is going to focus heavily on Kara's relationship with Alex (especially in the earlier chapters) but expect appearances from all three.I love Cat Grant. I love the relationship she has with Kara Danvers/Supergirl and I'm excited to play with the profound ways in which this would have impacted her.
Lena...Oh boy! That's a whole can of worms that will be fun to open. I want to play with the idea of having lost someone close to you and finding out about a secret life that they kept hidden.
Maggie. I want Alex to be with Maggie. I want them both to be happy and it's a process. Alex lost herself when she lost Kara. She needs to redefine who she is before she can be with someone.