Warning: angst, violence, suicidal tendencies, and maybe a little fluff ahead.

DISCLAIMER-I do not own any of the characters in this anime, neither Kagome, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, etc, etc. if you do happen to read, however, of any characters that you've never heard of, they will most likely be mine, but chances are that I'm just going to use the original characters in the anime and not make up any of my own, takes too much time. That, and I'm just lazy. ^.~

Have you ever had the feeling that you can't control your own life? That it's all just spiraling out of control, and all you can do is sit there and watch it? The feeling that all you've worked for, all you've accomplished, the people you've met and befriended, the people that you've loved--that you're losing all of it and you can't do a thing about it? It gets to the point where you simply can't stand it and you just want it to all end; when it overwhelms you and pushes you to the brink, but something holds you back, something that you fight war against with all your might, but it won't let you go.

She'd reached that stage.

At the sight of her once-friends weapons and safeguards, Kagome cracked. Her world had been slowly slipping from her grasp, now it fell completely. Head reeling, heart broken, she slumped to the forest floor, staring wide-eyed at the ground in front of her. Blankly, she reached out a finger and traced the edge of Hiraikotsu. Above her, Sesshoumaru watched, wary and alert. Still in his demon form, he crouched next to her, resting his flank against her back, trying to gain a response from her.

A drip of red fell from Kagome's finger where she'd cut it on the razor edge of Sango's weapon; she showed no sign of pain, merely continued to pull her finger along, deepening the cut. The great dog behind her whimpered ever so slightly, but she gave him no heed: instead, gripped the boomerang and picked it up, holding it close, turning it this way and that, marveling at its shape. More blood dribbled from her finger, the droplets making a liquid pattern on the dry leaf floor.

Normally, Sesshoumaru would have stood back and watched the girl's strange behavior, for it was curious and new. But the blankness in her usually expressive features was starting to worry him. He watched her run a hand almost lovingly down the weapon, and reach out to stroke the monk's staff. Tenderly, she laid her cheek on the taijya's (oh damn, would some one please tell me how to spell it properly??) favored weapon and closed her eyes. By this point, thoroughly worried and not bothering to wonder why he was so worried, let alone feeling anything towards this miko, Sesshoumaru began to transform back to his humanoid form. Brushing his hair from his eyes as he stood, Sesshoumaru turned towards Kagome. He balked at what he saw. Kagome had raised Hiraikotsu to her throat, and was preparing to slice the thing across her throat.

Later, when Kagome would look back on it, she would see how stupid she had been, yet she'd laugh at what Sesshoumaru had done…not that she wasn't grateful, it was just how he did it. In true hero fashion, like one straight out of a romance novel, he leapt over to her and ripped the boomerang out of her hands like one would pull away a poisonous snake. What he did next though, was not so hero-ish, more in line with his true demon nature. Viciously, he backhanded her across her face, sending her sprawling over the ground.

Sesshoumaru was not prepared for Kagome's reaction though.

Instead of crumpling and weeping like he expected her to do, she sprang at him, swiping with claw, and biting with tooth. Caught unawares, Sesshoumaru stumbled ungracefully backwards, and was rewarded for his previous efforts with two deep cuts across his chest, and a bite on the palm of the hand he'd instinctively thrown up to protect his face.

Regaining his senses, he shoved her back, but brought Hiraikotsu up the next minute to deflect a sapphire dart. She had finally learnt how to use the poison she had inherited from him, channeling it into darts and arrows of various sizes, all of which she threw at Sesshoumaru with a vengeance. He was hard pressed to avoid them, deflecting them with the demon huntress's weapon, dodging the few that he missed. Some of the smaller darts even he could not avoid however, and they left smoking trails through his clothing and flesh.

Ignoring the many stings from the dart inflicted wounds, Sesshoumaru flung Hiraikotsu from him, and studied Kagome as she crouched, waiting for his first move. Her gray-blue eyes had vanished, replaced with blood red orbs, glaring insanity and bloodlust at him. Her teeth had lengthened, the incisors hanging just below her bottom lip. A drop of blood fell from one, his blood. Sesshoumaru looked at his palm and snorted. She had truly gone feral, just as his idiot brother had, loosing all reason and logic. The thought of her friends dead had been too much for her, he reasoned, and knowing no other way to express her grief, she had let her demon blood take over when he had stopped her from killing herself.

"Kagome!"

No response.

More insistent this time, "Kagome!"

All she did was growl, and jump at him again, aiming her claws for his eyes in one ferocious jab. Swiftly he brought his arm up and around, catching her outstretched arm and tossing her away from him. But she was up on her feet in an instant, and before jumping for him for a third time, she let loose a barrage of poison, in formless barbs.

Not expecting her to try again so quickly, Sesshoumaru was once again caught unprepared, and dart after dart sliced through him, peppering his legs and chest full of holes. Choking on his own blood, he fell to one knee. Some remote part of his mind was impressed with her; she surpassed his brother in so many ways. Before he could gain his feet, she was on him, stabbing for his eyes in a mindless fury. This time, his counter was not swift enough, and one golden orb went dark. Mindless himself now, the pain sent him wild and with a howl, he threw Kagome off. She sailed over the clearing and crashed head first into a tree. Kagome slumped to the ground, lifeless in unconsciousness.

Gasping in pain, yet still trying not to show it, even though there was no one around to see his weakness, Sesshoumaru stumbled over to Kagome, and crumpled his tall form next to her. He reached a trembling hand up to her forehead and smoothed away her bangs, a careless gesture. One finger caught a drop of blood from a cut in her hairline. The droplet fizzed on his finger, the purifying side of it rejecting his touch, the demon part of it welcoming him. He absently wiped it on his pant leg as darkness rushed towards him.

Sesshoumaru's head dropped on to Kagome's shoulder, blood pooling from his ruined eye and running down his cheek to soak her haori. The unconscious pair sat there like that for hours, neither noticing the white insect demons that swirled about them for a while, then spiraled up into the sky and headed south, back in the direction of Naraku's  castle.

~*~

Her head hurt. That was the first thought that floated into Kagome's head as she awoke. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked a few times as the world swam before her. Groaning, she put a hand to her aching head, and drew it back, sticky and red with her blood. Kagome frowned and traced the lip of the cut, wincing as she poked it too hard, the bruising around it protesting at her touching it. Gathering herself, she hauled her body into a more comfortable sitting position, and was thoroughly startled when Sesshoumaru's head dropped from its place on her shoulder to her lap.

That was when she first felt the wetness that soaked her entire right shoulder, from the very top of her shoulder all the way down her arm and side. Horrified, she brought her arm up and smothered a gasp at the sight of the blood.

So much blood…

Then a thought occurred to her and she gently straightened Sesshoumaru's body as best she could from her position, carefully avoiding the deep gashes across his chest, and placing his wounded hand softly on his stomach, out of the dirt and muck. Finally she lightly placed her hands either side of his head and rolled it so she could see his whole face. When she did, Kagome turned her head away and retched. The right side of his face was as perfect as ever, but the left…

His eye was gone, ruined. What was left was a pile of wrought tissue and delicate veins, an oozing mess. A shallow cut ran up from the bottom of his face, getting progressively deeper as it neared his eye. Gathering a fistful of her long sleeves, Kagome tried to wipe the worst of the blood away, stoically pushing back the urge to gag.

When she slipped, and the cloth touched his ruined eye, Sesshoumaru's face contorted, and he reflexively tried to blink, only managing to cause himself more pain. Tears leaked from Kagome's eyes, and she bent over Sesshoumaru, pleading for him to wake up.

~*~

Deep in the mists of pain, Sesshoumaru heard someone calling his name. Soft, feminine, and worried...Kagome. Struggling, he pulled himself from the haze and opened his one remaining eye. She was bent over him, searching his face for signs of life. Relief flooded her face as she saw him awake. Unthinkingly, she bent over him and gently nuzzled his unhurt cheek.

"I was so worried…I thought…what happened to you Sesshoumaru? I don't remember anything from…" she looked away as a fresh tear trickled down her cheek the memory of her friends. Steeling herself, she turned back to Sesshoumaru. "What happened?"

Grimacing, he pulled himself from her lap, and sat up, back to her concern. "You happened." He didn't need to turn around to see her confusion. "You let your demon blood take over. You attacked me." He heard her gasp, and imagined her placing her hands over her mouth in horror.

"But I… I don't remember it…."

"You probably won't, not for a while at least. But it was you." Any tactfulness he had possessed as a fresh wave of pain swept through him and he shuddered. Instantly, Kagome was on her knees beside him, one small hand on his shoulder, the other turning his faced toward her. Self-disgust and pity was spread over her face as she took in the full sight of what she had done. Unflinching, he stared back at her, and had the satisfaction of seeing her swallow, trying not to throw up.

Kagome swallowed again. "I…I think I can fix your eye….I mean, I know how to heal…it's just I've never healed a person…well, demon, before…but I can give it a go...I mean I can try…if you'll let me…" . She trailed off and looked at the ground, embarrassed and sickened with herself. Her hands fell to lie in her lap, limp and useless.

"No"

Her head whirled to face him, the tips of her hair brushing over his cheek. "What?!"

"No. I will not be an experiment for you to test your powers."

"B…but your eye!" she stammered, incredulous that he would not, could not, let go of his pride. Kagome reached a hand toward his eye, but he smacked it away.

"I said no, what is it you do not understand huma…hanyou?" his slip of the tongue was quickly covered, the indifferent mask remaining in place.

Kagome was seething. Sesshoumaru had slipped into the same tone that Inuyasha used to take when he was feeling all high and mighty. She was sick of being treated like she was inferior, and she would be damned if she wasn't going to have even one chance to fix the damage she had inadvertently caused. "What is it with you?! Can you not even take a simple offer of help from anyone?! Or is it because I'm a half-demon, Inuyasha's former wench? Or is your damn pride just to stubborn to let you have a single moment of 'weakness'? Can't you just give me a bloody chance?!" and here her voice dropped to a whisper, "Please?"

Sesshoumaru stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, his remaining eye carefully devoid of any emotion. Finally he held his hand out to her, palm up. Wordlessly she took it, and reached inside herself to where her miko power rested. Gathering a tendril of it, she spun it out and pulled it out through her hands. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she visualized the indigo light wrapping around the cut and sealing the lips of it shut, healing the torn skin, repairing the damaged tissues.

Sesshoumaru hissed as her magic poured into him. Its nature was completely contrary to his. Miko purification versus demon destruction. But it was working.  Slowly, nerves grew back, tissues re-knitted, and skin smoothed out. Done with his hand, Kagome moved infinitesimally closer and touched her fingertips to his cheek, repeating the process.

"Why were you aiming for my eyes?"

Kagome drew her hand back, and Sesshoumaru blinked, once again whole and unblemished. "Why did I go for your eyes? I guess….I guess they reminded me so much of Inuyasha. I was furious at him for not being there to protect Sango, Miroku and Shippou, from whatever happened to them. I can't understand that. Whatever his feelings towards me, he was still friends with them in his own harsh way. He would never let anything happen to them without first trying to do something about it, and then if he failed, he'd seek revenge until the day he died. That's why I tried to destroy your eyes, I was angry, confused, and…lost. I don't know what's happening anymore…" her voice dropped, along with her head as she stared at the leaf-covered ground.

"If you'd shown even a third of this kind of potential before Naraku 'attacked' us, Kagome, I might have had a mind to keep you around."

Shock blanched Kagome's face, and Sesshoumaru's hackles rose. Swaggering like the over-confident pup that he was, Inuyasha pushed his way into the clearing. Kikyo silently followed him. Kagome was only vaguely aware of Sesshoumaru's presence next to her, or the formless white blur that circled them in the trees. Inuyasha was in front of her once more and that was enough to set her blood roiling.

His face twisted as he took in her new form. "My, my, Sesshoumaru, you have been a busy boy, haven't you? Turning her into a hanyou. That was a marvelous stroke of genius," Inuyasha sneered and sniffed in Kagome's direction. "smells good."

Kagome blushed, and beside her, Sesshoumaru snarled, upper lip curling in rage. Distracted from the hanyou before her, Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru curiously, then jumped when his hand found hers. "No one, brother, talks about her like that. Not that idiot wolf that I've heard follows her, and certainly not you."

Inuyasha raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Well, aren't you being protective? Tell me, brother, who is watching over Rin while you are here? Or is she alone with that shit-headed retainer of yours, because I…"