Heh, another angsty fic from my 2013 angst phase coming up! This is a two-parter. Expect the next chapter in the next few days, probably.

I don't own anything.

A hollow death rattle jarred Leonardo from a dreamless sleep. He struggled to lean forward, the endless coughing draining his withered body of any energy remaining. He was too preoccupied with coughing that he failed to notice someone limp across his makeshift room, startling only when someone began rubbing circles into his shell.

Donnie looked down at his once mighty brother with sorrow, watching as his shoulders hunched as Leo leaned against him for support. Leo clutched at his hand like a lifeline, still gasping for breath.

"How long?" Leo whispered, and Donnie shook his head, to overcome to speak. "It'll be soon, then. I can feel it." Donnie didn't argue, only sitting at the edge of Leo's cot with a wince.

"I don't want to be the oldest," Donnie said quietly, almost too quietly that Leo wasn't even sure he heard him right.

"You can. Just... watch out for Mikey. You've had enough practice over the years," Leo said, and Donnie's beak twitched up into a faint smile. "I already failed one little brother. I hate that I'm letting it happen to you now." Donnie's smile vanished in a heartbeat.

"Leo, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault seventy-three years ago, and it's not your fault now." Donnie stood slowly, making his way over to the table littered with pill bottles. "Come on, you don't need to be thinking of this sort of thing now anyway."

"It was my fault. Raph died because of me!" Leo said, and then he broke down into another coughing fit. "Don't you miss him?" he managed to get out, and Donnie whirled around, holding onto a syringe.

"I miss him like it was yesterday," he admitted, "but that won't change anything."

Leo didn't seem to hear him. "Don't you blame me? He would blame me. It was all my fault!" Caught up in the rush of grief, Leo buried his face in his hands. Donnie took this to his advantage, coming up behind him and slowly sticking the needle into his arm.

"Shh, Leo. Shhh. Everything is going to be alright," Donnie said soothingly. He pushed him back down onto the bed, watching as Leo's blinks slowed and he was asleep once more. Slowly, he eased out out the room, dimming the lights behind him.

Michelangelo looked up wearily, setting down the remote, as Donnie made his way across the lair to the bathroom.

"How is he?" he asked, and Donnie shook his head.

"Even worse. It won't be very long." Mikey's shoulders slumped, and Donnie turned his face away, sighing as he shut himself into the bathroom. He turned the water on and faced the mirror, blinking past the tears threatening to spill over. His once smooth and unblemished skin was now cracked and dotted with sunspots, and his bandana was not enough to cover the dark bags circling his eyes. His eyes were still the same brown they'd always been, but they shone with grief - enough to fill a lifetime.

Has seventy-three years really gone by? he thought to himself. Shell, when did that happen?

Meanwhile, Leo's mind was racing in a dream state. A familiar dream made its way up to the screen, and Leo moaned.

"Please," he begged. "Not this! Please!" This dream wasn't just a dream - it was his nightmare coming true again, and he was powerless to do anything but live through it again.

The turtles were on their nightly patrol run. New York was peaceful, much to the annoyance of a certain red clad turtle, and he made that fact very clear to his brothers.

"Of all nights to be peaceful, why did it have to be tonight?" Raph moaned, fingering his Sai longingly.

"Maybe the Purple Dragons are taking a nap!" Mikey offered, plunking down in the roof next to Raph.

"I'm sure they are, Mikey," Donnie said sarcastically. Mikey shot him a glare over his shoulder, and Leo rolled his eyes. "We could just call it an early night?" he said. Mikey nodded in agreement.

"OR," Raph interrupted, "we could cut back by TCRI. It's been a while since we've tried to see if they have a new plan to kill us yet or not."

Leo shrugged. "I'm with Raph on this one."

"But that's the long way home!" Donnie complained. "It's faster if we just go straight from here."

"No," Leo said, shaking his head and dusting off his legs. "We're going the long way."

"My way is more beneficial!" Donnie snapped, and he crossed his arms and glared down at Leo.

"I don't give a crap which way we go," Raph hissed. "Just let's go!"

Mikey bounced up and skipped over to Leo and Donnie. "Rock, paper, scissors!" he exclaimed. "Best two out of three! Whoever wins - we go that way!"

Donnie grudgingly accepted the idea and back turned towards Leo. Both turtles held one hand flat and curled the other into a fist.

"Here we are, at the roof-top stadium, preparing to watch Leonardo and Donatello battle it out in the hard-core fight of rock, paper, scissors!" Mikey put on his best announcer voice and leaned down close to their hands. "It's gonna be a close one, folks, and we- OW!" He was cut off when Raph slapped the back of his head, and he shot him a baleful look, rubbing it softly.

"Hurry up," Raph said.

Mikey stuck out his lower lip and stuck his tongue out at him. "Fine, you meanie." Donnie rolled his eyes, and Mikey turned back to them. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Leo let out a growl. Donnie's 'rock' crushed his scissors. "Again, Mikey!"

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

This time, Donnie let out a snarl. "Stupid scissors!" He'd done paper this time, and Leo smirked.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Mikey repeated, watching with wide eyes.

"Dang it!" Donnie growled. Leo cheered, pumping a fist in the air; they'd get to go his way!

Raph patted him on the shell and winked. "Good goin', Fearless." Leo smirked back.

"Let's go, guys!" Leo immediately took off running so his brothers would have to sprint to catch up.

"I really hate it when he does that," Raph growled, and the others took off after him. When Raph caught up, he promptly told Leo so again, who just shrugged and gave him a too-innocent smile back.

"I don't!" Mikey butted in. "Leo, wanna race?"

"You're on!" Leo grinned, and Mikey immediately sped past. Leo kicked up his pace, and soon enough they were pulling far ahead of Raph and Donnie.

"I'm gonna beat you!" Mikey cheered, throwing a devilish grin back towards his oldest brother.

Leo laughed. "Yeah, right!" He and Mikey were almost out of Raph's line of vision.

"Yo, Donnie, let's catch up." Raph kicked up from a leisurely pace when Donnie nodded in agreement, still a little sullen from losing.

Donnie felt free. He was alone with Raph, who, suprisingly wasn't mocking him; he was topside, in the fresh air, and he was with his brothers.

"This is nice," he said out loud, accidentally. His eyes widened, and he fought the urge to slap a hand over his mouth.

Raph glanced back, startled. "You talkin' to me, Brainiac?"

"Well, I'm not talking to Spike," Donnie snarked back, pretending like he meant to say that all along.

Raph surprised him: he actually laughed. "Touché," Raph said. His grin widened, and his classic smirk started to form when he was cut off by a familiar shout. Donnie felt his blood turn to ice, and he and Raph skidded to a stop.

"Mikey!" Donnie gasped, and Raph's face instantly hardened, all joking set aside.

"Come on!" Raph said, and he immediately sprung into action. Donnie ran too, faster than he ever had before. He bounded the leap between the building separating him from his brothers, feeling Raph's hot breath on his shoulder.

Mikey and Leo were surrounded by an army of Foot ninjas, weapons up and at the ready. Shredder loomed in the back, eyes mere slits underneath the helmet, and they didn't waste a moment to get on either side of Leo and Mikey. Mikey exchanged a nervous look with Donnie.

"NO!" Raph roared, and the Shredder let out a cold bark of laughter.

"Well, well, well," he said, and the sound of it sent chills down Leo's spine. He backed closer to Mikey, slightly moving forward to cover his flank. "The other brothers think they can stop me? Beware, turtles. If you choose to fight, you will be destroyed. Unless, of course, you give me the location of Splinter."

"Never!" Leo called out, and he held his katana up even higher. Raph whirled out his Sai, beak bared in a snarl. Without another word, he bolted forward, flipping in the air and slamming into the first Foot soldier, taking out a ring of them around him.

The Shredder barked out an order to attack, and with every weapon at the ready, the turtles dived into battle.

Leo could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins, and he struck out, flashing and flipping and doing the delicate dance of staying alive. Mikey moved at his right, a mere orange blur in his periphery, and then he felt the whoosh of cold air as Mikey blurred by, jumping ahead to fight by Raph. He could hear Raph's snarls somewhere to his left, and dull thumps as Donnie's Bo hit its target time and time again. Donnie moved closer, edging down the exposed flank Mikey had left, and for a brief moment, they were back to back, Leo's attention off his brothers.

Another scream, chilling and haunted, echoed in Leo's arms, and when he whipped around, he felt as if it was in slo-motion.

"Mikey!"

The Shredder had Mikey in a headlock, standing tauntingly near the edge of the roof. When he noticed Leo had seen him, the Shredder leaned to dangle him even closer to the edge. Leo felt his heart skip a beat, and he whipped his head to the side. Donnie was close, but fending off a squad of his own ninjas. Leo himself was on the opposite side of the roof. Mikey's face was turning an awful shade of blue, and he was clawing weakly at Shredder's arm.

"RAPH!" Leo yelled, but he was already on it.

Raph's face had more fury etched in it than Leo had ever seen before. Yanking his Sai out of his latest victim, he took off.

Leo quickly took down the ninjas around him and turned to run after Raph. Donnie's face was lit up with fear and understanding; he was farther ahead of Leo, and he starting running to help.

Raph got there first. He barreled into them and stabbed the Shredder, tilting his Sai up under the chink in his armor beneath his armpit. Mikey flew out of his grasp, teetering dangerously on the edge. Donnie got there next, grabbing Mikey's hand and yanking him away to get far away, helping him to calm and breath.

Leo was still running towards them.

"If I'm going down," the Shredder snarled, "then you're going down with me, turtle!" He encircled his hand around Raph's free hand, and they toppled over the edge. Leo ran up just as they fell and lunged for Raph. His fingers grazed the back of his shell, but it was too late.

"NO!" Leo shouted, and he caught a glimpse of the terror on Raph's face as he twisted to face the sky. There was a horrifying crunch, and then there was silence.

They fell into the alley. Immediately, the few remaining Foot soldiers who had been watching, just as frozen and helpless as the turtles, disappeared, taking with them the bodies of the fallen.

Leo was frozen. He couldn't move, could barely process what had just happened before him. "The fire escape," Mikey choked out, but it spluttered and died. He was still wheezing for air, but he stumbled past Leo to find his way down. Donnie raced after him, pushing ahead of Mikey with his duffel already at the ready, as useless as it may be. Leo forced his feet to move, one over the other, and he mindlessly raced down, not caring about staying in the shadows or being silent. All that mattered was Raph, Raph, Raph...

Yikes, I know. A cliff hanger... well, what do you think is going to happen? (Trust me, there WILL be a happy ending).

R&R!