Suggested by: LeviAckerman0209

Suggestion: Lincoln gets stuck in a vending machine.

Lincoln Loud was trapped. In a vending machine. His lil ass thought it'd be cool to reach up through the slot and steal, but somehow he got all up in it and now he was pressed against the glass, his face smooshed, arms bent, legs crooked - he looked like a bug splattered on a windshield. "Help me!" he cried weakly. His voice was hoarse from hours of screaming - the vending machine was around the side of a rural bus station on a two lane road in the dusty west Texas desert, so the chances of his being rescued were next to nil.

He was probably going to die.

"Please!" he moaned and smacked his palm against the glass. It was the dead of night, but still hot as balls in here - sweat coursed down his face in rivulets and stained his polo shirt. He had to pee really bad, and the heat was making him sick to his stomach. "God!" he called. "Save me!"

Through the fogged pane, he saw only empty desert, an overhead lamp casting harsh orange light against thistly scrub brush. He was alone. Totally alone. Just as he had been in life - his family kicked his ass out the house for being bad luck, and after spending six months living under the back porch like a dog, subsisting on literal scraps from the garbage, he jumped a freight train heading west. His first day on the rails, a gang of hobos butt fucked him while one sat on the sidelines, playing the banjo and yodeling about loving tight boy hole. When they were done, they kicked his ass off of their train, and he had to walk sixteen miles to the nearest town, where a kind man took him in for the night.

And molested him.

Oy vey.

A week later, a van full of hippies picked him up hitchhiking through Kansas and shared their pot with him, only it wasn't pot. Guys, he said as his face began to melt, this isn't weed. When he woke up, he was in some old lady's front yard and she hit him with her cane until the sheriff showed up and took him to a group home, where he was gang raped yet again.

Okay, y'all, this is getting silly. Remove your penis from my anus plz.

The group home wasn't so bad - three hots and a cot, you know? But the thrice daily rapes got kind of old. He'd be on his bed reading an Ace Savvy comic, then he'd look up to find all the other boys clustered around his doorway, wearing only tight briefs against their throbbing erections. Really, guys? Fucking me in the shower wasn't enough? We gotta do this again? By the time he jumped out the window and booked it, his ass was so loose it looked like a sandwich from Arby's. And not even a good one, like in the commercials - like it was slapped together by a careless teenager.

He managed to get a bus ticket, and here he was, trapped in a vending machine waiting to die like an animal.

Maybe if -

Someone emerged from the shadows, and when the light fell across their face, Lincoln gasped. It was his sister, Leni! "Hi, Lincy!"

Suddenly all of his sisters were there, and his dad too. Dad whipped out a crowbar and pried the door open, freeing Lincoln - the night air was cool and sweet. Lincoln stumbled out and took a deep breath, his muscles aching. "What are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"We realized we were being kind of dumb," Lynn said, "so we decided to let you back into our family."

"Oh, that's what's up."

"And," Lori added, "we kind of need a favor."

Lincoln lifted his brow. Of course they did. "What?"

"Well, dude," Luna said, "Lisa's lab exploded and it messed us all up."

As one, they ripped off their pants, and Lincoln's jaw dropped.

Each one had a massive, leaking, purple-headed dick.

"We need someone to fuck," Luan said. "Someone who's a boy. And has white hair."

"And busted teeth," Lana added.

Lincoln hung his head.

Aw man, hated being molested.