Expectations, Part 1

Lola sat on the living room floor with Hope, rolling her bouncy ball back and forth. It was her new favorite game lately.

"Ball," Lola said, gently rolling it to her. "Can you say that? Ball."

"Baaah," Hope babbled, running her tiny little fingers over it. She started to drool, still teething. "Baah bahh ba!" she shrieked happily.

Lola glanced over at her dad, who was sitting at the kitchen table going over her university applications. She had decided to sign up for a couple of gen ed. classes next fall at the local community college. It wasn't exactly Harvard or anything, but the thought of doing something other than watching the baby was admittedly exciting to her. And her dad was of course thrilled that she was talking school and not weddings. "I think Hope could be an athlete when she gets older," Lola said to him. "I mean, Miles played varsity basketball, I did cheerleading and volleyball. I could totally see it."

Mr. Pacini smiled. "Applications look good, Mija. You're all set." He took a second to look at Lola and Hope. "I'm proud of you, you know. You're balancing school, work, being a mother... that's not easy."

Lola's face lit up. She knew her dad was proud of her, but it still was nice to be reminded every once and awhile. A year ago, she never would have thought it would be possible for her, Hope, her father, and her mother to all live peacefully under one roof. "Thank you, Dad," she said, and planted a light kiss on his cheek. She knew raising Hope had been a team effort.

Lola's mother wandered into the room just then. Immediately Lola sensed that something was off. "Lola?" her mother said, a stern look in her eye. "May I speak to you for a minute?"

Lola nodded, but her heart was already speeding up. Like she was a kid who'd just gotten caught eating cookies. Only she had no idea what this was about. "Dad, can you watch the baby for five minutes?" She kissed the top of Hope's head and followed her mother into her room. What had she done now?

...Frankie and Esme laid on the bed in the motel room, watching Legacies for what seemed like the hundredth time. When Frankie first got back from vacation, they'd picked up right where they left off, full speed. But now it felt like someone had slammed the brakes.

Suddenly, Esme flicked the TV off. "Enough," she declared.

"What?" Frankie said, confused and a little annoyed. She'd actually been watching.

"Enough TV. Enough staying in." She hopped off the bed and threw a new top on. "We, my dear Francesca, are going out."

"You calling me by my full name is weird..."

"Whatever. Frankie. We're getting gelato. My treat."

"Can't we just order takeout?"

Esme's expression sank. "You don't want to be seen in public with me..."

"It's not that," Frankie said quickly. Even though it kind of was. But not for the reasons Esme thought. "I'm not ashamed of us. It's just, I haven't told anyone besides Lola. Hunter has no idea." She hugged her knees, feeling a pit in her stomach. Being with Esme felt right... but she still felt like a crappy sister for it. "He's been doing so well lately. I just don't want to set him off."

Esme sighed and joined Frankie back on the bed. "I respect the sibling loyalty," she sighed, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. "And I did kinda put you in a weird situation... but we can't just hide out in this motel forever, either." She kissed the back of her neck, and Frankie felt shivers down her spine. "I don't want to pressure you. I just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend."

Frankie mulled this over. Hunter usually had his location on, and he barely left the house as it was. And she really was getting bored staying in. Maybe she was just overthinking this. She eased up a little. "You said gelato?"

Esme smiled. "I know just the place."

...Lola sat down on her bed next to her mother, bracing herself for whatever lecture was coming. They'd been in such a good place lately, and she kind of hated the idea of ruining that. "Mom, what's going on?"

Mrs. Pacini sighed. "You know I had to fight your father tooth and nail to let you go on that vacation," she said. "I thought I could be more lenient with you, that you'd proven yourself to be responsible. But now I don't know what to think."

Lola just stared. "What are you talking abou-"

Mrs. Pacini reached into her purse and pulled out a familiar box: the opened pregnancy test Lola had taken. Lola gulped. "How...how did you..."

"I was trying to do you a favor and run your laundry for you," Mrs. Pacini huffed. "I went into your suitcase to get any dirty clothes, and I found this." She went quiet for a moment, then muttered something in Spanish under her breath, so quickly that Lola couldn't even make it out. "Mija. Please tell me you're not pregnant again."

"I'm not!" Lola said immediately. "I swear." A part of her wanted to go off on her mom for invading her privacy, but she knew better. Ugh, she should have just thrown the box away at the vacation home— she'd only packed it because she didn't want Diana to stumble upon it in the trash. "Look Mom, it was just a scare. Not even that... Miles and I are really—" She paused, not sure that telling her mother about all the careful, protected sex she was having was the brightest move here. "My period was just a few days late and I just wanted to make sure. That's all."

Mrs. Pacini looked half-relieved, half-not. "But you're still having sex."

Lola really, really didn't want to have this conversation. "Um... yeah."

Mrs. Pacini sighed. Lola could tell she wasn't happy about it. But she also didn't seem angry, like Lola had expected. "Are you being safe?"

"Yeah," Lola said quickly. "I'm on the pill. And we use..." Baby or not, she still couldn't bring herself to say condoms to her mother's face. "We're careful."

Mrs. Pacini sat on that for a moment. "Okay, then," she nodded.

Lola paused. That was it? No grounding? No screaming? "Why are you not like, super mad at me?"

"I wasn't born yesterday, Mija. Your father and I can tell you to keep your door open, forbid Miles from being in your room, hover over you... but you're going to do what you want." She sighed. "Look, I don't love it. But as long as you aren't giving me another grandchild anytime soon, I'll pretend this conversation never happened. Okay?"

Lola slowly nodded. To say this was weird was an understatement. Just having a relationship with her mother at all was still so new. "Hey, Mom?"

"Mmm?"

"When you got pregnant with me..." Lola tried to find the right words. "Did you... did you have a choice? I mean, did you even want a baby?"

Mrs. Pacini looked surprised at her question. "Well, it was never really a discussion. Your father and I stepped up and did what we had to do." So no, Lola thought. "I was pretty depressed after you were born, to be honest. I had this beautiful little baby, but I didn't feel like myself anymore."

Lola kind of understood what her mom meant. She wouldn't trade Hope for the world, but she felt like she lost a part of herself when she found out she was pregnant. The bubbly, young demeanor she'd once had just wasn't there anymore, not in the same way. She was proud of who she'd become, but there was no doubt that having a whole human had changed her.

"I regret a lot of the choices in my life, Mija," her mother continued. "But I don't regret you. Understand?"

"Yeah," Lola said. She heard Hope giggling from the other room. She slowly formed a smile. "Yeah, I think I do."