Chapter 4: Ego

Sansa stood in her usual spot overlooking Winterfell: her home. The cold wind tousled her fire red hair, as it painfully kissed at her exposed skin. She welcomed the pain – a reminder she was alive. She tried to take in everything that happened so quickly from the moments she thought she was in love with her brother, the pain at the idea of him marrying another, the death of Baelish, the return of her brother and sister, the return of Jon and his silver haired dragon conqueror, and the truth that Jon was not in fact her brother after all. The deepest darkest thought in the form of a question: does knowing the truth make any difference?

She watched the way Daenerys still stalked Jon her nephew, and Sansa wanted to be grossed out by it – but how could she? Jon was her cousin after all, and though cousin marriages were common in Westeros – she loved him before she knew he was only her cousin. Her sigh clung to the ice cold air with a life of its own, leaving a trail of smoke in its wake. She closed her eyes taking her back to Jon's lips on hers, and the way she would catch him looking at her. His eyes would betray him and devour her, but she wanted nothing more than that.

Sansa's attention was quickly knocked off course by the sound of shouting at the gate as the large doors opened – letting in a swarm of people. With haste she lifted her dress so she could swiftly make way to the scene, her steps echoing against the cold stone walls as she quickly moved down the stone steps. Her chest heaved painfully as she tried attempted running, the cold air making it hard to do so along with her many layers of clothes. When Sansa had reached the gate she saw many injured and frightened people making their way through, but the one who caught her eye was the red hair of Tormund. Jon passesd by her, and though he glances her way he does not stop until he reaches his old friend.

When Sansa finally reaches ear shot of them she is frightened by what she hears. The Night King has one of Daenerys' dragons as his deadly pet. The knowledge that the wall has come down truly makes everything Jon has said so much more real than it had been. Sansa turned to a few of her guards instructing them to find shelter for the stragglers while she calls a council meeting to discuss the next move. Now there were only a few castles between the Night King's army and Winterfell - more fodder for his army. Arya and Brienne had both shown Sansa a few tricks to defend herself with sword or knife, and though she pretended to be brave: she was terrified. Sansa was quick to send out orders to those around to prepare in case more survivors or stragglers make their way into the city gates.

"My Lady," Jaime's hand folded over her shoulder catching her off guard.

"Sir Jaime," she said quickly, her heart racing. Jaime made note of her snow pale skin and the bright pink of her cheeks and lips. She was so different then Cersei, and he could see her as every bit of his sisters rival now in beauty and strength.

"Please, just Jaime," he smirked as he breathed onto his cold hand. He was having a hard time adjusting to the freezing temperatures as he had only ever known summer.

"Then call me Sansa," she said with a small smile still not fully trusting the other Lannister brother. As she began to turn she swiftly turned back to add, "as long as there are no others around."

"Naturally," he smiled and nodded. She noticed the way his blue eyes sparkled at her, his golden hair fell onto his forehead and rather than despising it for being like her enemy – she found it charming.

"Did you need something? Or did you simply wish to discuss name formalities?" Sansa asked with curiosity dripping in her tone, and reservation in her eyes.

"I simply wanted to aid you. What would you have me do," Jaime said with seriousness his blue eyes steely and ready to serve.

"Anything?" she asked with a tone that had him taken back.

"Well – I would never refuse a queen any desire," he said teasingly. Jon from a far watched the interaction, along with Daenerys who had finally connected the dots. Sansa blushed harder than before – clearing her throat as she backed away a little.

"I will need someone to be my right hand man," Sansa said as she crossed her arms and stood tall - putting back on her face of authority. She glanced around spotting Jon watching her interaction, and for a second it takes her back.

"There are many things one can do with a hand," Jaime stepped towards her, "Anything specific you would…"

"Good Lord man, have some decorum in the presence of a lady - or a queen," Tyrion spoke up as he entered their conversation.

"Simply trying to do what you couldn't manage little brother," Jaime chuckled deviously, although the youngest Lannister showed no amusement in response.

"Enough," Sansa said finally regaining her poise, "I need someone who can be there and execute orders as well advise me in moments of need."

"Sort of like a hand of the king – or queen?" Jaime asked as his curiosity had peaked.

"Yes, I suppose so. Brienne is already head of the King's guard I put together, but I need someone who can work well with her – Brienne recommended you," Sansa said looking at Jaime.

"I could have no higher honor my lady," Jaime said with seriousness, no more jokes or humor in his tone.

"Well then you should meet with Brienne and get her to the council chambers immediately," Sansa said firmly. Jaime nodded before taking his leave, leaving prints of his boots in the snow behind him.

"Well done milady," Tyrion smiled up at her. Sansa let out a small smile, as she owed him for not forcing her into the marriage sprung upon them.

"I never apologized for leaving in the manner that I did - or the time," Sansa said looking away, taking a deep breath. She quickly cut in before he could say anything, "I am not sorry I left. I did not belong there nor did I want to be there. But I am sorry for leaving you in that predicament, as my leaving probably didn't help your situation. I hope you know it had nothing to do with you. Baelish tricked me and used me, but ultimately it got me home."

"You would have made one fierce Lannister," he smiled up at her his eyes full of compassion and mourning for a life he had secretly longed for with her. Before she could interrupt he jumped back in, "but you do make a much fiercer Stark. It was foolish to think you could cage a wolf amongst lions."

"Thank you Tyrion," Sansa reached out when he went to grab her hand, his lips warming the back of her hand.

"Should you ever need me, Lady Stark, I will come when needed," Tyrion promised her as he released her hand and walked off into the distance for the meeting.

Sansa sat close to the fire, removing her furs and outer layers as she let the warmth lick her skin. When Jon walked in he saw what he could only describe as regal and queen like – what he imagined even a goddess would be envious of. He took a deep breath exhaling it as his eyes dropped to the ground and then with a lowered head glanced around the room while finding his Kings chair. The room filled with warm bodies as the chatter grew louder. Sansa could feel fear radiating off others and she tried to not let it penetrate her aura. Daenerys finally made her way into the room – all noise dying as they watched her most with malice and disgust.

"What is she doing here?" Sansa heard Lord Glover's loud voice booming the insult intentionally.

"She is a guest," Sansa said sharply, but giving Lord Glover a small private nod.

"Not one we invited," Lady Mormont added in.

"But she is a guest," Jon added firmly, "and right now we need all the power we can get."

"I think I have a solution that will fit all," Daenerys finally spoke up pretending that she was not bothered by the insult laid upon her, and faking a calm smile. She put a hand in the air calling for silence, but none was given. when Sansa asked the room for silence - the others held their speech for a moment to let their invader share her idea with them all.

"It is clear you do not want a Targaryen sitting on your throne," Daenerys tried to sound like this didn't bother her. But in her mind she had calculated the perfect block between her enemies, and a way to keep Jon without fighting him for the throne, "and I do not wish for more war then is necessary. I would like nothing more than peace. Jon Snow has already bent the knee to me, but it is clear there is a queen in the North you would rather rally behind. Jon would you like to tell them the truth now?"

"Daeny!" Jon snapped in surprise.

"It is only right to inform them of the truth. You told me and they told me there will be no Targaryen welcome in the North," Daenerys smiled at him, "now prove your word – and you loyalty."

"Jon," Sansa breathed nervously knowing that the north was not going to stay theirs if the truth came out of his heritage. But now the room was abuzz with a curiosity that would not be quenched with anything other than the truth. Jon let out a huge sigh looking down at his hands as he came to terms with what this meant…

"My friends – I did not know until recently, but I am not who any of us thought I was. I am not the son of Ned Stark," Jon said with a heavy heart, his hands clenched into fist as he felt something close to anger and despise growing in him for what game Daeny was playing, "I am the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. They were married in a secret ceremony that makes me legitimate."

"You are the rightful heir to the Iron throne then?" Ser Davos asked feeling full of surprise.

"I am the rightful heir," Daenerys growled with anger. She would not accept that anyone had any right over her, after all she went through to get there, "however, I will leave the North to Sansa of Winterfell letting her be the rightful queen as long as you agree to fight alongside me against Cersei and sign a peace treaty."

"Sansa," Arya said looking to her sister with mixed feelings, "he is still our family…"

"Deal!" they heard the other lords shouting as Sansa stared wide eyed at Jon whose eyes locked with hers. He nodded to her signaling that it was a good deal and she should take it – even though he didn't want to leave her or his home. His goal had always been to protect his family, and to save mankind from the White Walkers. In the end this solved most of the issues they had.

"This is still his home!" Arya shouted. But no one heard her.

"It will always be my home, Arya," Jon said swallowing his emotions as he looked to his cousin, "and you'll always be my family."

"There is one more stipulation," Daenerys said still not smiling. Her eyes burned with flames as she looked to Sansa, and Sansa could see that Daenerys was not about to play fair. When the room was silent again Daenerys finally broke her stare from Sansa to look at the rest of the crowd, "I will require the Lannister army to be on my side of this war. Jaime Lannister you are the rightful heir of Casterly Rock, are you not?"

"Daenerys?!" Tyerion asked with surprise. He had hoped that with her taking Westeros he would be given his homeland for service to her crown.

"Silence," she snapped not even bothering to look at him, her eyes still locked on Jaime's.

"Yes, I technically am," Jaime said quizzically.

"Very well, then if the North wishes to remain independent from a Targaryen rule – Sansa will marry Ser Jaime of Casterly rock and take control of the Lannister army."

"Out of the question!" Jon snapped standing up, his hands slamming into the table. His eyes now raged with a fire as he glared at his aunt.

"Then no deal," Daenerys said slowly her eyes squinted into a scowl.

"I'll agree if Lady Sansa will have me, but only if she truly wishes it," Jaime said breaking the tension. He would not let another Lannister be forced upon the Stark girl he had promised to protect.

"I…. I…" Sansa didn't know how to respond her eyes moving around the room as the lords and ladies encouraged her to say yes, but Jon's look told her no.

"Sansa," Jaime said softly to her, "you can say no… you are a queen no matter what she says."

"Jaime," Sansa breathed quietly - feeling her heart beat fast and her chest heave quickly. The room spun with the panic crushing in on her at the idea of another arranged marriage. Sansa had planned to never marry again, and yet Jaime's words seemed to calm her slightly.

"I…" she tried to speak out with an answer, but she couldn't find the words.

"Sansa, are you okay?" Jaime asked leaning into her - quietly whispering in her ear, "you can say no. I will do whatever you wish of me that will help end all this war."

"I never wanted to marry again," she whispered her confession, but her eyes remained locked onto her hands as she sat frozen.

"Our marriage would be nothing like your last," Jaime said honestly, placing a hand on hers. She now looked from his hand on hers over into his brown eyes, "I would never hurt you. I would never force you to do anything you didn't want me to. I would respect you and never take advantage. You will remain in charge, and I will never undermine that. But you still don't have to say yes."

"Thank you," Sansa whispered back as she slowly looked back up at the crowd around her, their eyes piercing her like dragons - and at Daenerys smug face, "I will accept all terms except one. Jon is free to do as he wishes. If he wants to stay in Winterfell then he can, but if he wants to leave to help you rule Kingslanding then that is his decision."

"Very well, as long as the marriage between house Lannister and Stark happen before the taking of Kingslanding," Daenerys agreed pretending like politically it was the right move to have the largest army in Westeros on their side, but really she knew with Jaime ruling as King Consort with Sansa – Jon wouldn't want to stick around to watch it happen. Daenerys smiled at Sansa's defeated nod, "very well. Let us plan a wedding - and war."

The room was buzzing again with chatter as it slowly emptied. Sansa had turned from them all as she now watched the flames dance in the fireplace. One of her hands rested against her mouth as she took in all that happened in such little time. Jon followed Daeny out as the last to leave, but stopped at the door – closing it before Daenerys could turn to say protest.

"Sansa," Jon spoke up.

"Leave," was all she could muster.

"Sansa please," Jon begged walking towards her.

"You brought her here, you bent the knee to her," Sansa's voice broke, "and now we must all pay the price for it."

"I am so sorry," Jon whispered. Sansa knew he wasn't going to leave her be, and so she left her self – leaving Jon to stay there broken full of regret.

The day comes and goes, and Sansa does not leave her suite. She thinks over what her life might be like, and now the choices made for her. She knows that everyone else is taking care of preparations for the great fight against the dead, and this allowed her to mope freely in her chambers. Sansa does not join them for dinner and is surprised by a knock at the door.

"Jon?" she asked after opening the door, and seeing him standing there with a plate of food and lemon cake.

"You need to eat," he said walking in.

"I am fine," she says softly, "you can leave."

"Do not push me away," Jon said taking her hand, but just as swiftly she removes her hand from his.

"I am engaged now Jon," Sansa turned from him to look at her small fire that has her room filled with warmth. Jon studies her in her long silk night slip. The soft mint green of it made her fire red hair brighter and more vibrant, and the material clung to her curves – giving way her body's secrets.

"I didn't want that," Jon said grabbing her upper arms so she couldn't pull away from him again. He looked down into her eyes, "all I wanted since you came back into my life was you."

"But you chose her," Sansa said desperately trying to hold down the sob into her chest.

"Only because I thought I couldn't have you," Jon's eyes searched hers for any sign of hope, "I had given up any ideas of a wife and family, and I didn't need it - until you. You made me want what I thought I could never have, and it hurt knowing I still couldn't have it with you - "

"All I wanted was you," Sansa's voice broke as she said it, cutting him off - not wanting to hear his excuse for why he turned to Daenerys.

"I wish I had known the truth sooner," Jon said desperately before crashing his lips into hers. She pushed him off and tried to squirm away, but his grip was strong.

"I am engaged now Jon, it's wrong," Sansa lied, but she didn't want to get any more hurt then she already was. Her eyes could not lie as well as her words, and Jon's lips crashed against hers again.

"You are mine," Jon growled between heated kisses as he pushed her up against her wall.

"Jon," she moaned as his kisses trailed down her neck, and she lost her will to fight him. The sound of her purring his name made his member harden harder than ever before. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone. The connection and chemistry so strong that it felt like they were made for each other, and he knew she had to feel it too. His hands found her waste as he lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapping tightly around him as he had her pushed up against the wall. Taking off where they had been interrupted before - before he had left home. Jon quickly spun around still holding her wrapped around him, his member throbbing and aching with desire against her clothed womanhood. He quickly found the bed plopping them both down.

"Jon," he could hear the protest beginning to rise in her voice, but he ignore it as he grabbed the bottom of her silk gown and lifted it up and over her – fully exposing her perfect naked body. He placed a finger under her jaw as he slowly traced down her neck and over the peaks of her breast and down her stomach until he reached her thigh. She squirmed below him at the touch of his hand. He pulled his shirt off exposing his strong chest and muscled abdomen, along with a lot of moon shaped scars. Before Sansa could say anything about them he dropped down over her, and place his mouth on hers once more.

Sansa's hands found their way to his chest as they explored his muscled torso and arms. Jon's trails quickly moved down her neck until he was at her breast, and gently sucked and licked at her nipples and surrounding skin. His hot breath against her skin left goose bumps, and then as he was enjoying her breast with his mouth his hand slid down between her legs. Sansa let out a squeak as his fingers dipped inside of her, and feeling her heat and wetness. She moaned more as his fingers came back at to begin circling gently her womanly mound.

"Jon," she squeaked unsure of what was happening or what he was doing. He just smiled and kissed her lips reassuring. Sansa locked her arms around his neck, her breath heavy and labored before he placed another kiss to her lips and then wickedly smiling before he began to trail kisses down her breast to her abdomen, and then her thigh. She giggled a little as it ticked, especially his facial hair, but then let out another squeak of surprise when his warm tongue took over for what his fingers hand been doing on her womanhood.

She moaned in surprise, wiggling as his warm tongue moved around and around causing sensations she had never felt before. He began to use his fingers as well with his tongue and before she knew it a strange feeling had taken over her body causing her to spasm and call out. Jon chuckled as he kissed back up her skin. She breathed heavily and his eyes met hers taking in her look of wonder and euphoria. He knew that in her marriage Ramsay had only hurt her in the marital bed, and never brought her pleasure – he was glad to know he was the first and selfish enough to hope he would be the only one. Sansa's hands moved down to his britches to help him unlace, but her hands were a shaky mess of nerves. He quickly unlaced himself and discarded his pants.

"Sansa," he said softly as he looked down at her, feeling her flesh against his. He took in her beauty as he felt something swell inside of him something that told him that he loved her like no other. Sansa smiled up at him, placing her hand on his cheek and raising herself up to take his lips with her own. Jon was quickly overcome and consumed with a need to be in her again. Her creamy white legs wrapped over his as he placed himself between her legs. She bit her lip looking up at him, searching his eyes and finding his soul. She felt the tip of his member brush against her womanhood, and she shuddered nervously preparing for pain. This made Jon sad, and he knew that he had to show her what it was supposed to be like.

Jon slowly entered her. Sansa gasped as his member slowly slid in throbbing as the walls of her womanhood contracted around the length of his member. Her nails dug into his skin as he slowly moved in and out of her, occasionally rolling his hips to hit all the spots inside of her that made her body go mad with pleasure. Sansa moaned into his shoulder as her nails dug in more. The rhythm getting faster – in and out. Sansa did not know it could feel like this, nor that she could get so wet. All her fears of sex now being stroked away with each powerful quickened thrust from Jon, and Sansa had never felt more safe or alive.

Sansa felt something else stirring inside of her the more he rolled his hips in a circle, before she knew it she was coming undone again, but this time felt different with him inside of her – it lasted longer. Sansa gasped wrapping her legs around him as he came undone inside her spilling his seed into her, his body spasming as it happened. Sansa breathed heavily beneath him as he looked down at her still inside her connected as one. Jon collapsed onto her – his head resting on her bare breast while she stroked his dark curls with her soft hands. The feeling of her chest rising and lowering slowly put him to sleep.

Authors note: thank you for your patience. So sorry this took so long! I would love reviews! Sorry that I RUSHED it quite a bit, I managed to squeeze two chapters into one.