Beginnings: The Tests of Youth

Chapter 1 - 1.1 or "Tracks"

The footprints, he supposed, would be worn into his carpet forever if he continued pacing in the same tracks. He had been at it for over an hour, ever since he had given up on his futile attempts at sleep. He felt as if he might burst from the excitement, and tossing around in his bed hadn't done anything to quell his anxiousness, so instead, he had unpacked and repacked his trunk three separate times, throwing apologetic looks toward the shining broomstick that seemed to be watching him jealously from its place in the corner. When that lost its allure, he had started pacing – a much more productive use of his time.

Today was the day he had been waiting for since before he could remember – since his dad had first told him all about the Great Hall and the Quidditch Pitch and the Forbidden Forest. It was the day he had tried to force upon his parents every September 1st for the past three years, when he would beg them to allow him to go, because, really, he could pass for eleven years old and nobody would know the difference. But today he was truly eleven years old, and today he would truly be going. Today might as well have been the first day of his life.

Today was the day that James Potter was finally going to Hogwarts.

He stopped pacing, deciding that it was late enough in the morning now and that he could trek downstairs to get some breakfast. He had never been an early riser and he didn't want his parents to cotton on to how nervous he really was. It wasn't until he had made his way to the top of the staircase that he heard angry whispers emanating up from the hall. James froze and then cautiously made his way down the first few steps, curious to know what his parents were arguing about – they never argued.

His mother was speaking in a tense, hurried voice. "There is absolutely no reason for you to tell him anything of the sort. All it would accomplish would be to put a dark cloud over the day for him!"

"He's got to know," his father replied calmly. "He's got to be on the lookout. You know what these people are like, and you know very well that they'll put their children on the lookout for him as well."

"You really think that they'll use their own children that way? As…as spies?"

"I wouldn't put it past them." His father's voice was low, a resigned bitterness lacing his tone. "The Rosiers, the Averys, the Blacks…they all have children starting this year. We've kept him as sheltered as possible, you know we have, Mia, but we're not going to be able to keep them away from each other now they're starting Hogwarts."

"You don't trust James to know right from wrong?" asked his mother angrily. "I'd say you should give us a bit more credit than that, Fleamont. We've been deliberate, certainly, but we haven't raised him in a vacuum."

"Of course I trust James. It's the other children I don't trust." He paused. "We won't tell him more than he needs to know, but he does need to at least be aware of the situation."

James heard his mother sigh, but when she spoke again, her voice lacked the anger it had harbored before. "Only what he needs to know. Don't go telling him anything that might scare him…"

"I'm not going to scare him, but, honestly, scary things are happening and he needs to be aware. My father –"

"You are not going to tell him about your father!" his mother cut in sharply.

"Of course not," he said at once. "We're still not even sure what really happened. There's no need to worry James…"

Hidden on the staircase, James wondered what they were referring to. "What really happened?" His grandfather had suffered heart failure only a few months prior and had died. James's house hadn't been the same since. Despite his grandfather being extremely old, James had been very close with him and devastated by the sudden loss. His parents had tried their hardest to make everything seem normal, but James had seen through their forced smiles and conversation. In fact, getting away from the gloomy aura of the house was only an added reason that James was so excited to be leaving. He loved his parents very much, but he didn't appreciate being treated like a child. He was, after all, eleven years old.

With this thought, James hopped his way down the remaining stairs and into view of his startled parents. "What would worry me?" he asked.

His mother hurried forward to coddle him, as she tended to do every morning. "James!" she said, pulling him into a hug and fruitlessly flattening his hair with her hand. "You're up! Did you sleep all right, dear? How long have you been awake?"

James, however, would not be swayed. He pulled away from her and looked curiously at his father. "What were you talking about? I heard you. You were saying something about Grandpa and how something would worry me." He did not fail to notice the anxious look his mother threw his father.

"Well, I guess we have no choice but to tell him then, Euphemia," his father said, frowning slightly. Then he turned to James and motioned toward the bottom step. "Sit down, son."

James obliged and looked up at his father expectantly. "What happened to Grandpa?"

His mother sat down on the stair beside him and rubbed his back as James's father spoke. "You know your grandfather was very, very old, James…older than just about anyone we've ever known. When his heart gave out, we were all saddened, of course, but it wasn't unexpected. He had been having trouble for years." He paused glancing at his wife. "Well, a few weeks ago, we got word that he may have been approached by some wizards before he died. Wizards who may have wanted his help with some dark magic."

"Grandpa wouldn't ever touch dark magic!" James argued. "He hated everything to do with dark magic!"

"We know, darling, we know," soothed his mother.

His father looked wary. "Your grandfather was a powerful wizard who stood up for what he believed in, James. In doing that, he angered some people who had different beliefs from him. It's possible that these sorts of people may approach you at Hogwarts, asking questions about you, about your Grandpa, about us."

"What sorts of questions?"

"Questions about our…political leanings." He paused as James's mother stood up suddenly and placed herself between James and his father.

"Can't you see now is not the time to do this?" she whispered as though trying to block James out of the conversation. "Today should be nothing but wonderful for him and now he's worried –"

James stood up too and pushed himself between his parents. "I'm not worried!"

Glancing between his wife and his son, James's father ran an agitated hand through his thick white hair and then gave James a crinkled smile. "Of course you're not. You're a Gryffindor, I'm sure of it."

"Where dwell the brave at heart!" James shouted, bouncing up and down a few times in excitement.

The old man put a steadying hand on his son's shoulder and James looked up at him, his smile faltering. "I just want you to be careful of who you become friends with and what you say to them, all right? Keep your eyes open," – he tapped the side of James's glasses – "keep your ears alert," – he pulled lightly at one of James's earlobes – "and keep that big brain of yours on your schoolwork," – he tapped his knuckles against James's untidy black hair.

James nodded and grinned before running off into the kitchen for a hearty breakfast. Nothing, nothing could put a damper on today for James Potter.

Today might as well have been the first day of his life.

There were bumps and thumps and excited shouts as students boarded the train outside of his compartment, but he refused to look up from the game of Exploding Snap he had laid out on the seat next to him. He had been ushered onto the train by his mother a good half-hour before anyone else had even arrived on the platform. After a vice-like grip on his shoulder and a pointed command of "Do not disappoint us," she had disappeared with a crack, leaving Sirius Black alone to wrestle his school trunk onto the train and into the first compartment he saw.

Not that he minded. He was perfectly happy to be getting away from his mother and father – and, more specifically, his father's wand – though he was a bit sad to be leaving his younger brother behind. Regulus, though, had always had a better rapport with their parents than he himself had, and Sirius supposed, somewhat bitterly, that his brother would fare just fine for the year they were apart. He sighed, thinking that this time next year, Regulus would be sitting in this compartment with him, and Sirius would not have to play Exploding Snap against himself.

Already bored with his game, Sirius packed away his cards and sat in silence, fiddling with his wand nervously. He was very proud of his wand: 12 inches, cedar, with a core of dragon heartstring. Ever since he had got it at the beginning of the summer, he had been hiding in his room, secretly practicing all of the spells he had watched his parents and cousins cast for ages. He had even been able to practice dueling against Rabastan Lestrange one evening while their parents were ensconced in a dinner party; Sirius decided that night that shooting spells at Rabastan Lestrange was the only way he could tolerate the older boy's presence.

Excited voices from the platform outside drew his attention to the window. He watched a girl who looked a year or two older than him say goodbye to her mother and greet a group of friends with fervent squeals. She had long brown hair that touched her waist and was dressed in Muggle clothes. In fact, now that Sirius was paying attention, quite a lot of the students on the platform seemed to be dressed in Muggle clothes. It was a jarring sight, but the trousers and short-sleeved shirts certainly seemed to be more appropriate for the summer heat than the silk-lined robes his mother had insisted he don that morning. Sirius watched the brown-haired girl until she boarded the train out of sight.

His attention was then drawn by the unwelcome sight of the Avery family striding past his window. Sirius pulled his face back and tried to blend into the shadows. He had known Marshall Avery for years – the Blacks early on had decided that Marshall Avery would be an appropriate and acceptable friend for their eldest son and had thrust the boys together as if they were trying to arrange a marriage between the two. But Sirius had never much liked Marshall Avery, nor did he enjoy the company the Averys kept, and he had been actively avoiding the boy since an April night in London, which he tried not to think about.

He was saved from his thoughts when the door to his compartment banged open so loudly that he nearly fell out of his seat. He jumped up, hoping it was the girl he had seen on the platform. Instead, a small girl with shoulder-length red hair and the greenest eyes he had ever seen poked her head in.

"Mind if I sit in here?" she asked unapologetically. She was clearly distracted and might even have been upset by something, though it was difficult for Sirius to tell.

He shrugged at her. "If you'd like."

She was struggling with her school trunk, which was about as big as she was, so he moved to help her pull it into the compartment and shove it onto the luggage rack. When it was safely stowed away, she sat down next to the window and peered out of it, her eyes clearly searching for something. Sirius wasn't sure whether he should say something to her, as she didn't seem remotely interested in talking to him. After a moment, however, she seemed to give up her search and turned to him almost apologetically.

"I'm Lily, by the way. Lily Evans."

Sirius reached across and shook her hand lightly. "Sirius Black."

"Sirius? That's seriously your name?" said Lily Evans.

He rolled his eyes. "Ha ha ha, you're so funny. Don't blame me. I didn't have much say in it. Could be worse though…my brother's name is Regulus."

"That's just sad," she said. "At least you can make jokes about your name."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Or other people can make them for me."

Lily sobered slightly. "Hmm, perhaps you're right." She then turned back to the window, her thoughts clearly elsewhere.

"You're a first year, are you?" asked Sirius, eyeing her curiously. She, too, was wearing Muggle clothes.

"What?" Lily asked, distracted, looking back at Sirius as though she had forgotten he was there. "Oh. Yes, how did you know?"

"You're titchy."

"I'm titchy?"

"Yes. You're no bigger than my house elf."

"Your house elf?"

"Are you sure you're eleven?"

"That's what they tell me. How old are you then?"

"Oh, I'm a first year too. I thought this day would never come."

"Yeah, Hogwarts sounds wonderful, from everything I've heard."

"I just can't believe I'm finally going to get away from my parents," said Sirius, his eyes glazing over a bit at the idea of freedom. Lily smiled at him, but Sirius could tell it was very forced. In fact, she looked like she might burst into tears. He couldn't figure out what he had said wrong. "What is it?" he asked.

Lily looked at him sharply and then shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of her former thoughts. "Oh, I'm sorry. Nothing's wrong. I just didn't have a very good send-off is all."

Sirius shifted, suddenly immensely uncomfortable, not knowing if she was going to cry or not. He had never been around a crying girl before.

"We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to."

Their moment was interrupted when the door to the compartment banged open once again. Quite relieved to have an excuse to change the subject, Sirius looked up at the new face. A thin boy with spectacles and jet black hair that stuck up in the back was attempting to drag his trunk into the compartment. A bronze cage containing a brown barn owl swung dangerously from one of the boy's elbows. He was sweating with the effort of maneuvering his trunk and balancing the cage, but finally managed to get everything stowed away before plopping down on the seat across from Sirius. Ignoring the irritated hoot from his disgruntled owl, the boy wiped his forehead with his sleeve and smiled widely at Lily and Sirius.

"Hi, you don't mind if I sit here, do you?"

Lily just stared at the boy, apparently too shocked by his presumptuous arrival to say anything at all. Sirius, however, had no trouble finding his voice. He smirked at the newcomer. "Gee, just make yourself comfortable."

The boy either did not pick up on the sarcasm or wasn't fazed by it. He grinned and started digging around in his robe pockets for something. "I'm James Potter, first year. What's your name?"

"Potter, huh? Yeah, I've heard of you. I'm Sirius Black."

James had pulled three chocolate frogs from his pocket but froze when Sirius introduced himself, eyeing the boy warily. Sirius picked up on his hesitation.

"Heard of me too?" James just looked at him. "Don't worry, I know my family's got a reputation." He shrugged and pointed at the pile of chocolate in James's lap. "Are you going to eat all of those?"

James handed him one reluctantly. "You can have it but you've got to give me the card if you get Bowman Wright. His card just came out last month and I've been looking for it since."

A whistle somewhere outside the compartment blew loudly and the train started slowly moving along the tracks as Sirius ripped into his chocolate frog wrapper. James looked across the compartment to where Lily was sitting. He smiled at her and handed her the third frog.

"What's your name?"

Lily seemed to shake herself out of a daze. She took the chocolate from him but didn't open it and cleared her throat softly before speaking. "Lily."

"Do you have a last name by chance, or what?"

"Oh. Evans."

"Nice to meet you, Oh Evans," James joked.

"I've got Cliodne," Sirius said, biting the head off of his frog and holding the card out to James. "She's a looker, eh?"

"Bother, I've already got two of her," James said, waving the card off and ripping into his own wrapper. "You can keep it if you want. Oh – sod it – Herpo the Foul." He curled his lip in distaste at the surly looking wizard on the card and then offered it to Sirius. "You want this one? I've already got him too."

"Nah," said Sirius, throwing his empty wrapper on the floor. "I got him about a month ago. My little brother was actually scared of that ugly git Herpo, so you know what I did? I used an Engorgement Charm and glued the card to the canopy above his bed during the night. He about wet himself when he woke up and saw Herpo the Foul glaring down at him in the dark."

James laughed loudly. "That's pretty good! You've been practicing Charms then? Have you been doing any dueling?"

"A bit," Sirius nodded. "I've got some shots in. You?"

James bobbed his head too. "My mate Stuart Bones – do you know him, he's a seventh year? – came by a few weeks back and we got some practice in, but other than that, it's just been me practicing with the house elves."

Neither boy seemed to even remember that Lily was in the compartment with them as they chatted animatedly about the different spells they had tried, and their conversation barely even faltered when the compartment door opened once more and a thin, twitchy boy slid past them to sit across from the girl.

"Oh yeah," James was saying, "Stu taught me about Expelliarmus, but it's a mite hard to practice that one on a house elf, isn't it?"

"Know any jinxes, then?" Sirius asked.

"Tarantallegra," said James. "And that one was a laugh on old Flora, let me tell you. Even she found it in good fun, once her little elf feet had stopped tap-dancing across the sitting room floor."

Sirius laughed and was about to comment on the ludicrous image of his house elf Kreacher dancing when something the twitchy boy said to Lily seemed to catch James's attention.

"You'd better be in Slytherin."

"Slytherin?" James repeated, looking around at the pair in distaste. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

It was like a cold hand had gripped Sirius's insides. Slytherin, of course, was all he had ever heard about at home, or with his cousins, or with Marshall Avery and that group of boys. He swallowed hard. Unsmiling, he told James, "My whole family have been in Slytherin."

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed all right!"

And before he had really even considered the thought, a smile broke across Sirius's face. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

"Gryffindor!" roared James. "Where dwell the brave at heart! Like my dad."

The boy next to the window made a noise like he was trying to stifle a snigger. They all stared at him.

"Got a problem with that?" asked James.

"No," said the boy, though there was an oily insincerity to his voice. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."

It reminded Sirius at once of Avery and Lestrange and all the other gits his parents had tried to force upon him under the disguise of friendship. He curled his lip at the boy. "Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?"

James laughed heartily and a warm sense of approval found its way into Sirius's chest. Lily stood up and glared at the pair, pulling the twitchy boy up behind her.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Ooooh," Sirius mocked, happily stretching his legs across one of the newly vacated seats.

James tried to trip the boy as he left the compartment. "See ya, Snivellus!"

Sirius snorted with laughter, but the compartment door had barely snapped closed when it slid open once more and a girl with a round face and light brown hair stuck her head in. Behind her, a tall girl with long golden waves stood awkwardly, her hand gripping the handle of her school trunk.

"Are they leaving, then?" asked the first girl, nodding down the corridor at the retreating forms of Lily and Severus. "Mind if we sit in here? We got kicked out of the compartment we were in."

Sirius pulled his feet off the seat with a resigned sigh and nodded at her. James didn't look too thrilled with the interlopers, but jumped up to help the girls stow their trunks anyway.

"I'm Ev. Ev Linney," said the brunette. "And that's Gin," she nodded toward the other girl.

Sirius and James both introduced themselves cordially.

"Why'd you get the boot from your compartment?" James asked.

Ev shrugged. "We were there first, but then some older girls came in and said it was their compartment and to bugger off. We're only first years. I guess that's just how it goes, yeah?"

James frowned and Sirius got the distinct impression that no one had ever told James Potter to bugger off, first year or not. But this seemed to be the extent of James's interest in the girls, because he turned back to Sirius a moment later and the two continued their discussion of dueling and the spells they had tried until the food trolley stopped at their compartment around midday. The boys both bought enough snacks and candy to feed the whole train, and they happily shared with the two girls, who had kept mostly quiet for the ride.

Early afternoon, the sky grew darker and a light rain pattered against the train windows. The girl called Gin napped against the glass as the girl called Ev read through a stack of magazines. James and Sirius turned their discussion to Quidditch and their preferred teams (James – Wimbourne Wasps since the day he was born, Sirius – Pride of Portree, though only because that's who his Uncle Alphard supported, and Sirius himself never followed it too closely) and both of their experiences at the Quidditch World Cup the year before. James disappeared for a bit late in the afternoon to try and find his friend Stuart Bones, and it was only when he returned that the slamming of the compartment door roused Gin from her sleep. She stirred and looked up at the others, evidently confused as to where she had woken up. Sirius smirked at her expression and the way her hair was all matted up and stuck to the side of her face.

"Hogwarts Express…remember?" he said to her cheekily.

Her glassy blue eyes met his as she brushed her hair from her face and raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh? I could have sworn this was a circus tent."

Sirius just stared at her, his eyes narrowing slightly in concentration.

"What did you say your last name was again?"

"I didn't."

"Well what's your last name?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm interested."

She crossed her arms. "Well I'm not. Sorry to burst your bubble."

Ev sniggered at the response and threw down her magazine, finished with it. "Anyone want to play Exploding Snap?" she asked. Sirius stared at Gin, trying to get a read on her, but gave up as Ev began dealing the cards.

"So," said Ev, after a few rather listless rounds. "Potter and Black. I've heard of both of you. Purebloods through and through." She looked toward Gin. "What about you?" Gin hesitated, which did not go unnoticed by Ev. "Sorry," she said quickly. "You don't have to answer if you don't want. I was just trying to make conversation."

"It's okay," said Gin. "My mum's a Muggle-born witch."

Sirius dropped one of his cards. "Your mum's a Mudblood?" he asked, eyes wide.

James and Gin both yelled out in disgust at his remark and Ev fell off of her seat, causing the Exploding Snap cards to ignite and set her sleeve on fire. Sirius deftly shouted, "Aguamenti!" and a stream of cold water doused the flames immediately. He grinned at his achievement, but his three companions were all still staring at him with revulsion.

"What's your problem, Black? Using that word!" James shouted.

"You think you're all great or cool or something, using foul language like that?" Gin snapped, her eyes flashing.

Sirius was lost. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"You can't just go round calling people the M-word! That's like the worst bad word in the world," said James.

Sirius's mouth fell open. "Really? I didn't know that."

The compartment, which had been lively and fun throughout the day, was now filled with a thick tension. Ev picked herself up from the floor, shaking her wet sleeve, and narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

"I thought you were from a wizarding family? How could you not know that?"

Sirius's eyes darted between the others, utterly confused. James was still panting with anger and Sirius wondered if he had just destroyed the blossoming buds of their friendship with one simple word.

"I…I don't know. I mean, that's what everyone calls Muggle-borns where I'm from. I didn't know it was bad…"

James cut in. "It's not just bad, it's vile."

"And disgusting," added Gin indignantly.

"Yeah, and disgusting and uncivilized," James agreed, his voice harsh.

Sirius felt horrible, a disturbing thought taking hold of his insides. He had never heard anyone refer to a Muggle-born as anything but a 'Mudblood' before, usually with scorn and contempt. If he – a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black – didn't know such an important rule about the wizarding world, what else didn't he know? How else had his parents and cousins corrupted him? He felt a surge of anger at the thought.

Swallowing, he turned to Gin. "I'm sorry, Gin," he said, truly meaning it. "I didn't know that was a bad word and I'll not use it again. I've just…I've never known anyone related to Muggles before."

Gin stared at him, as though attempting to size him up. When she didn't say anything, Ev cleared her throat and attempted to break the silence once more.

"That was a neat charm you did, Sirius, with the water."

He glanced back at Gin to see how she was reacting to the change of topic. She gave him a crooked smile and he felt some of the tension fade from the room.

"How'd you know how to do that spell?" she asked.

Sirius shrugged. "I've seen my parents do it plenty of times. It's not that hard."

James jumped up on his seat and started digging around in his trunk. After a second, he brandished his wand, his face full of excitement, and all thoughts of foul language seemingly forgotten, much to Sirius's relief.

"I want to try! Sirius, what's the incantation?"

"Aguamenti," Sirius told him, sitting up straighter to get a good view of the attempt.

"Wait a minute," interrupted Ev as James raised his wand in preparation. "Don't do it in here, you'll get all of our stuff all wet!"

Sirius and James shared a slightly irritated look and made to leave the compartment. As they stepped into the corridor, James muttered "Girls…" under his breath and Sirius grinned. The girls stuck their heads out of the compartment door and they all watched as James raised his wand and pointed it down the corridor toward the door to the train car.

James screwed up his face in concentration, gave his wand a sort of funny wiggle, and cried, "Aguamenti!" There was a beat of silence before anything at all happened, and then a hot pink bubble emerged from the tip of his wand. Sirius laughed and watched as the bubble meandered around the corridor. As luck would have it, the door to the train car slid open and the twitchy boy called Severus stepped through, stopping dead when he saw James and Sirius blocking the way. He was so intent on glaring at them that he was completely unaware of the bubble floating toward him until it touched his nose. He flinched suddenly, causing the bubble to wobble for a second on the end of his nose before disappearing with a pop.

James and Sirius roared with laughter as the suds cleared to show the boy now glaring at James, his nose indubitably neon pink. The laugher died down when they saw the way his dark eyes glittered with something malicious, something rivaling hatred toward James. Suddenly, he marched forward, his wand pointing at James's forehead.

"Apologize to me," he spat.

James had a look of disbelief on his face, but nevertheless glared back at Severus in disgust. "It was an accident. Where's your sense of humor?"

"Apologize," he growled back, "or I'll curse you so much you'll spend the first month at Hogwarts in the hospital wing."

James was now shaking with anger and indignation. "I should have guessed you'd be into the Dark Arts. It's always the ugly, slimy ones who are into that stuff, isn't it?"

Before Severus could reply, though, Sirius jabbed his wand into the pale flesh of the boy's neck. "I suggest you lower your wand and get out of our way, Snivellus, before I make you."

At this point, several people from nearby compartments had stuck their heads out into the corridor like Gin and Ev, searching for the disturbance. Severus seemed to think better of retaliating with so many witnesses around. He pushed Sirius aside and marched down the corridor, disappearing with a sweep of his robes into a compartment at the far end of the car. James and Sirius looked at one another for a moment before they both burst into laughter.

"What a slimy git," James choked out, holding his stomach from laughing so much in such a short amount of time. They both turned to go back into their compartment, Gin and Ev moving aside to let them in.

Sirius closed the compartment door and sat down with a laugh across from James.

"Did you see the way his greasy pink nose ran away as soon as he was threatened?"

"What a coward!" James laughed.

Sirius couldn't have agreed more.