What did Snotlout say to Astrid in "Snotlout's Angels"? I couldn't help myself here, I had to write up a little "What if they hadn't been whispering" drabble. ;)

Death Wish

"What did you say to her?" Hiccup asked, peering out the door towards Astrid's hut, where all sorts of profanity spilled and the sounds of crashing pottery emanated.

"It was all because of her stupid axe!" Snotlout howled, head in his hands.

"You mean the axe that Hiccup made her four years ago? You mean the axe she's cherished for those four years? The axe that has her NAME CARVED ON TO IT?" Tuffnut repeated in clarification. "You do know she's kept that thing close to her for like- forever, right?"

"Yes! But… I mean, it's just a stupid axe." Snotlout whined and dragged his hand down his face, staring at them in fear. "I probably should've just kept my big mouth shut."

"What did you say, Snotlout." Hiccup demanded, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

Snotlout gulped and slumped against Hookfang, the teen appearing drained. "I just sorta… asked if she was pmsing…"

Everyone stared at him in complete shock, the twins jaws dropping to the floor and Hiccup's face paling.

"Do you have a death wish?" Ruffnut whispered in disbelief.

Tuffnut nodded, moving his hands to cover Chicken's ears. "You do not mention such things in an argument with a woman." he hissed, eyes flicking to Ruffnut. "I should know, I live with one."

Hiccup turned and glanced out the door again, wincing as a mace came flying out the doorway of her hut. "Eh, Snotlout… I'd say that was- not the smartest thing to do-"

"You think!?" He moaned. "She's gonna kill me!"

"What is she doing? I haven't heard Astrid use so much language since Tuff and I painted Snoggletog trees on Stormfly's spikes."

Hiccup bit his lip, flinching when Astrid tossed what looked to be a spikey canonball out the door, sending the metal piece crashing through the wood of the Edge's walk way.

"Snotlout, I think that you should… um, maybe run. Yeah, running sounds like a good idea." He suggested, turning back around to his cousin. "Flying would be even better."

"Why must she be so touchy?" Snotlout grumbled, "Me asking a simple question should not earn me a pyre!"

"You asked if she was on her period, Snot." Hiccup growled. "Heck, if I was her, I'd be strangling you."

Snotlout glared in return, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well Mr. Boyfriend, why don't you go and calm down your girlfriend so I can escape unwelcome death."

"You dug yourself into this grave-"

"Oh, would you two children, please stop." Ruff rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "I hear her coming, Snotty. I'd suggest you get your pathetic butt moving."

Snotlout's eyes widened in fear at the sound of Astrid's voice getting nearer and nearer. Without hesitation or delay, he swung himself up onto Hookfang's back and took off for the darkening sky, leaving the other's to the Hofferson's wrath.

Hiccup sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, before spinning around and exiting the stables. "Gang, I'd suggest you stay here." He called behind him.

No one objected. Not even the twins. Nobody wanted to deal with Astrid when she was this angry.

"Lemme teach that sponge eating munge bucket a lesson!" Astrid shrieked. "Do you know what he said to me? DO YOU!?"

Hiccup's quiet voice was mumbled.

"AND YOU JUST LET HIM FLY AWAY!? STORMFLY! HICCUP- PUT ME DOWN!"

The twins peered out of the door, giggling at the sight of Hiccup having Astrid slung over his shoulder, Hofferson twisting and spewing rambled insults, as he carted her back to the clubhouse. Army-carry style.

Tuff stepped back, shaking his head as he stroked Chicken's feathers. "Well, that just happened."

Sorry it was so short, just some pointless fun lol. :)

-Kat (FanWriter02)