The Dream

Hermione tossed and turned in her sleep.

She could see a door in front of her; she wanted to go in but at the same time knew there was something in there she didn't want to know.

It was something she needed to know though, so she took a deep breath and opened the door. She found herself in a valley, surrounded by large hills and next to a small group of trees, it was bright but Hermione could see the sky darkening.

"I'm glad you've come." Lilly said appearing next to her, "This will answer a question you've been asking yourself for a very long time."

"How do you know?" Hermione didn't even have to ask which question, it was the one that had been burning her up inside for years.

If April had died, what would have happened?

Lilly had told her how close it had come during the war and that story swam around her head ever since.

"It's... complicated," Lilly smiled gently, "Lets just say a little birdy told me. I wanted you to see it's not exact. Every tiny choice we make changes things, sometimes small and sometimes big. But what you're going to see is the most likely what would have happened."

"I...Do I want to see this?" Hermione asked.

"No." Lilly shrugged, "But I think you need to see it. It'll help, in some strange way."

Hermione nodded.

The scene blurred in front of her and shifted back into focus. There was now a group of people she recognised as the twelve that died the night the death eaters attack Lilly and April. A very young Lilly clutched onto an even younger April, trying to shelter her from the worst of the weather.

Hermione was safe from the weather, she wasn't really there after all, but she could see the trees moving and the rain dripping off the people around her.

"Jaggy's getting wet." April whispered.

Lilly didn't say anything, just took off her coat and wrapped it around April and Jaggy. Hermione felt her heart brake a little bit, watching the children huddle together as best as they could, the new born too cold to even cry properly.

"They're coming." One of the adult said looking at the sky.

Hermione looked up and sure enough the clouds darkened and several dark columns of smoke hit the ground. Lucius, Bellatrix, Thorfin, and Dolohov landed on the ground wands drawn.

Hermione watched the merciless attack on the group, she watched as the twelve figures started to smoke and then they started to burn. She could tell they were starting to fail.

"This is when they stopped in real life, I don't know why; just glad that they did." Lilly said.

But this time they didn't stop. The twelve dropped to the ground after just a few minutes more, breathing their last few ragged breaths. The death eaters took a few steps forward and raised their wands again.

The children began to fall. Hermione screamed as the baby and his father were struck with a bolt of green light, falling to the ground.

"Watch where you're supposed to be watching." Lilly told her.

Hermione dragged her eyes away from the dead baby and to where fourteen year old Lilly stood, shielding her crying sister. She had a weak forcefield up; the spells splattered through, leaving tiny burn marks on her skin. Her nose poured with blood and a small trickle snaked down from her eye.

Then a spell got through. It wasn't a killing curse just threw Lilly back, landing with a thump on the ground.

Hermione couldn't watch, she saw the flash of green from the corner of her eye and heard April fall. She turned back around and saw April's lifeless body, her arm reaching for Jaggy.

Lilly's breath left her at once. She crawled over to April and held her in her arms. She pulled a soggy Jaggy over and put him in April's arms.

She turned her gaze over to the death eaters and screamed. The smouldering flames leapt up smacked into Lucius and Dolohov, they incinerated in just a few seconds.

Hermione could tell Lilly was gathering what little strength she had left for another attack. Thorfin raised his wand for another strike,

"Wait!" Bellatrix ordered, "I think the Dark Lord will want to see her. She wasn't on the list of mudbloods." Bellatrix flicked her wrist and stunned Lilly into unconsciousness.

The scene blurred again and they arrived in the Lestrange mansion just as Thorfin unceremoniously dumped the unconscious Lilly on the floor.

"Is the task complete Bellatrix?"

"It is my Lord." She said, fawning over her master.

"Where is Dolohov and Lucius? And what is that?" Voldermort asked taking a seat.

"They didn't make it." Bellatrix informed him off hand. Narcissa burst into tears and clutched at her son.

"Be quiet." Voldermort ordered, "I would hate to add to your suffering with yet another punishment of your son."

Narcissa forced herself to take several deep breaths and compose herself.

"Forgive me my Lord." She said quietly.

"He had failed me before at least he died in such a way he redeemed himself. Antonin however was more useful and will be more sorely missed. Bellatrix please enlighten me as to how you lost two men killing a group of mudbloods?"

"That's why I brought you the gift." Bellatrix smiled and gave a little flick of her wand waking Lilly up.

Lilly moaned and sat up slowly.

"Bella, do not try my patience, who is this?"

"I don't know but she wasn't on your list and she was the one who killed them. Look at her she's too old, she should be at Hogwarts and yet…." Bellatrix said a smile playing on her lips.

"Ah she's something else."

"Old magic sir." Thorfin said stepping forward, "Or that is my guess from what we saw; from her and the others."

"Others?"

"All dead. They put up an impressive forcefield...for a short while." Thorfin said.

"And so you brought me back a gift." Voldemort smiled and stood up moving towards the sobbing young girl, "What is your name?"

"Go to hell." Lilly spat at him.

"I wont ask again." he snarled.

Thorfin grabbed hold of a fist full of Lilly's hair and dragged her to her feet.

"Lilly...Lilly Parker. April Parker was my sister." Lilly spat, "Are you going to kill me to?"

Voldemort shook his head, "No there is no point in such a waste. Fight with me and I will let you live."

"Well there's no point both of us being dead." Lilly gave a small smile.

Something was wrong, Hermione knew better than to think that Lilly would be over April's death so quickly.

The scene faded again and Hermione felt her blood chill, it was the battle of Hogwarts. There were explosions all around them as Voldemort and the death eaters moved forward. Hermione spotted Lilly.

Her long hair had been cut short and fell messily around her face. Her face was framed in dark black veins. Her hands and feet were also covered in the ominous veins.

"Why do you look like that?" Hermione whispered

"Power. Spending every second of every day soaking up as much power as I could." Lilly said, "My magic comes with a price and that includes even letting it grow too quickly."

"Harry Potter is dead! Surrender now and you will be harmed no further." Voldemort announced.

There was a mummer in the crowd and Neville made his way to step forward. Lilly took the step first so she was right next to Voldemort.

"Proof. Proof that I am willing to accept all of you. Lilly here has been my faithful helper, she feels like family to me." He said smirking down to her.

Lilly smiled up and with very quick movement slammed a knife into his throat. She continued to smile as Voldemort dropped to his knee, blood gurgling from his throat.

"I could have been nice, cut the vein so you would die more quickly, wouldn't feel like you were drowning." Lilly whispered to him, as her black veins crept forward, "But she was so scared. I would never have forgiven you for that. And now you know that too."

Everyone around her raised their wands.

"Leave. Leave now." Lilly said to the Order of the Phoenix.

A few people left but most didn't. Lilly looked down at her blood soaked hands as the blood turned to fire which exploded out towards the people around her. It levelled what was left of the castle and everyone in it's way died screaming.

Hermione watched herself shield her face from the heat. The back of her hand blistered but like most of those who weren't death eaters, she wasn't killed.

Lilly took several deep breaths and ran a hand over her veined skin before walking off into the woods.

"You're not a bad person." Hermione said shaking her head as her old self plunged her hand into a puddle of cold water.

"No but I'm not good either." Lilly told her, "And if April had died I would have been very very hurt. And hurting people do stupid things."

"Draco...Cissy. Tasha and the twins; they're never going to be born." Hermione gasped, tears running down her face.

"No, Draco never even met Zoe."

"This isn't going to end well is it?" Hermione asked.

"No. I have had this dream a hundred times and it never ends well." Lilly sighed, "But this isn't the real world. And I will always thank the Gods for that."

The scene dissolved in front of them and Hermione found herself standing in the middle of London. Near the visitors entrance to the Ministry of Magic. It was Christmas time.

"Is this just after the battle?" Hermione asked watching the people happily going between the busy shops.

"The next year." Lilly told her.

"So I was living the life of fame with Victor, Ron was already way to into drinking and Harry was..."

"Just under you feet near enough. This was the Christmas he spent on duty with Louise."

"I was in London as well this Christmas eve. I was shopping for Victor." Hermione said.

Lilly pointed over to where a crowd of people were stepping quickly out the way. Hermione looked and saw a dishevelled and ill looking Lilly walking down the street. She had a dark hood over her head but Hermione could see the black veins had crept all over her skin.

She was as white as a sheet and looked like she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She stumbled and fell, knocking her hood down. People moved away and a few screamed at the site of her.

Lilly managed to pull herself up and stumble a few more paces before falling again. She rolled over on to her back her breathing shallow and laboured. She closed her eyes and there was a huge explosion.

Hermione shielded her eyes from the light before being left in darkness. The light slowly lifted and Hermione found herself in a strange place, it was peacefully and quiet. A news paper floated into her hands.

London DESTROYED over 4 MILLION confirmed dead- Nuclear terrorist explosion suspected.

The headline read. It showed aerial pictures of what was left of London. There wasn't much.

The paper changed to the Daily Prophet,

Ministry of Magic destroyed; Wizarding world in chaos as remaining leaders struggle to form a new government and rebuild.

Hermione let the paper dissolve in her hands, "I don't know what to say." She shrugged her shoulders, "So many people. Harry...Louise...Mary and Jacob never even born."

Lilly took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Thank you." Hermione said, "I always wondered."

"Say it. You'll feel better" Lilly told her.

"If April had died and she would never have seen Sarah, she'd have never helped me and I would...I would be dead. I wonder sometimes if that would have been better for the world. For me. On my bad days." Hermione said, unable to look at Lilly.

"As I said, every action changes the world and you change it for the better. You have to try and remember that. I know it's not easy and some days it'll feel impossible but you have to try." Lilly told her.

"I'm a terrible person. Wishing your sister...didn't make it." Hermione said wiping her eyes.

Lilly shook her head, "Wishing that there was a way that you hadn't been forced to go though some of the crap that you had, even if it meant sacrificing someone makes you human; not a bad person."

Hermione nodded and smiled. Her vision clouded as she jerked awake.

She heard Sarah stir beside her.

Sarah smoothed the hair from Hermione's face, "What is it sweetie? Did you have a bad dream?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes and no." Hermione said shakily, "I'll tell you about it in the morning." she said snuggling back down into Sarah's arms where she was safe.

"Ok." Sarah said as she watched Hermione fall back asleep, holding her tightly.