Chapter 31

Skypaw couldn't sleep. After his… Hopefully last private experience with Birchwhisper, he was having trouble getting to sleep. That night, after he'd gone home, he hadn't even been able to fall asleep. He tried closing his eyes, however he ended up simply laying there in his nest with his eyes closed. The anger that had accompanied Birchwhisper's presence had since dulled into heavy exhaustion, weighing down his pelt like water on an Earthclanner's pelt. He supposed he did eventually obtain something approaching rest, feeling as his consciousness was flitting in between laying there and being suspended in a foggy, hazy state that partially passed for sleep. It wasn't particularly restful, and he woke up not feeling much better than the night before.

Minnowheart had given him an odd look, but he forced a smile and didn't say anything. She didn't question his behavior, which he was thankful for. He didn't want to keep secrets, but… He didn't really want to talk about his dealings with Birchwhisper. He preferred if he could just forget it, as she seemed to be letting go of him. Skypaw figured he should probably be happy that she wasn't going to be trying to interject herself back into his life anymore. Especially considering that Skypaw had been spending his life since his apprenticeship ceremony avoiding her. But that persistent unpleasant feeling in his gut remained. She just had to get her last licks in, didn't she? Skypaw couldn't help the bitter thought.

Skypaw found himself yawning, and dropping some herbs from his jaws later in the day. He sighed, and bent down to pick them back up. He wasn't doing so great, and he hoped this wouldn't become a pattern. He gently shook his head. Maybe he should go splash some water on his face later. But not right now. Shadowsnake had been complaining of stomach pains and claimed it was something he ate, so Skypaw was taking some borage leaves to him at the moment. However, as he padded back into the den, he caught Minnowheart yawning.

When she caught him staring at her, she scowled at him. "What?" She said, clearly in a bad moon.

"Do you want to go to the river with me?" Skypaw asked suddenly. He felt like he needed to talk to Minnowheart. "... To wake us up a little, I mean. So we can splash some water on our faces. Should help, right?" He hastily added on. Thankfully, the water was no longer as frigid as it could get in Leaf-bare, but it was still plenty cool enough that it would wake them both up a little.

Minnowheart seemed to mull over the thought. "You know what, sure." She answered with a shrug. "We can go now. There is nothing urgent for us to tend to right now, and we could use the break." She said with a crooked grin.

So, they went. Minnowheart lead the way, though she didn't go straight to the nearest stream in Rainclan territory. She seemed to be heading to one of the larger rivers, and Skypaw didn't seem any reason to protest, so he didn't bring it up. He was feeling rather tired from being unable to sleep last night. At times like this, he wondered how Fadingfire managed to cram in night time practice to supplement his normal training during the day. Skypaw is sure, judging from his current experience, that he'd drop and be barely functional if he tried anything like that. Fadingfire probably had a lot more will than he did… Skypaw just wished he wasn't channeling it into avoiding Skypaw.

Skypaw huffed and shook his head to clear himself of these thoughts. He didn't want to forget all about Fadingfire, but it did him no good to get caught up in it, especially since Fadingfire didn't seem anywhere close to being ready to repair their relationship.

Upon reaching the river, Minnowheart moved forward and dunked her face into the water. Her head sprang back up as she sharply exhaled, shaking her head, causing water droplets to go flying. Skypaw approached the river and pawed at the water's surface. It was pretty cold. He sucked in a breath, before he quickly dunked his face into the water as well. It certainly helped banish the heaviness of his tired eyelids, ripping him out of whatever fuzziness was inside of his head from lack of sleep. He sat back, wiping at his face to try and get some of the water off. He didn't exactly want his face to be soaking wet as he walked around.

"... You didn't get much sleep either, did you?" Skypaw idly asked.

"... What of it?" Minnowheart grumbled, seemingly already settling on the riverbank, laying down to rest her head.

"We should probably be better rested…." Skypaw mused as he looked over at his reflection in the river water. "... For the clan's sake."

Minnowheart shrugged. "... Not just for the clan. For your own sake too, Skypaw."

Skypaw silently noticed how Minnowheart was focused on him, even though she'd been having troubles sleeping too. Though… Unlike him, he did notice Minnowheart actually had been slumbering. He turned his head to look at her.

"You… Okay?" He asked, awkwardly shuffling his paws. He looked out for his clanmates, sure, but Minnowheart was something else. It felt weird to feel like he had to inquire after her health as well.

Minnowheart grunted. "Don't worry about me, Skypaw. Worry about yourself."

"That's not a warning is it?" Skypaw asked, unable to keep a note of worry out of his voice.

Minnowheart laughed dryly. "You can relax, Skypaw. It's just advice. From a mentor to her apprentice." She assured him. Then her face became more serious, as she was more clearly focused on Skypaw. "Couldn't sleep or nightmares?" She asked bluntly.

Skypaw bit his lip. "... I couldn't sleep. I tried… But I just sort of ended up laying there." He admitted.

Skypaw knew for a fact that no one in Rainclan particularly liked when Minnowheart turned her intensity upon them. Different cats dealt with Minnowheart in their own way. Skypaw personally had a hard time refusing Minnowheart when she wanted something. Likely because he just didn't want to fight her if he didn't have to.

"Was there something that kept you from sleeping? Did something happen?" Minnowheart asked.

Skypaw let out a deep sigh. He surprised himself with how weary it sounded. "... Mom… She… We had a… We talked. She said I was a lost cause and she still believes Fadingfire is…. Y'know." He absentmindedly scratched at the ground in front of him.

Minnowheart scoffed, as she lifted up her head, using her forelegs to hold up the front half of her body. "Birchwhisper is wrong. You're going to be a great medicine cat, Skypaw. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Your brother's stupid, but he isn't a bad cat." She argued. "Your mother clings to false notions and she's never really had much sense." She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I was surprised when we found out she was pregnant with you two."

Somehow, Skypaw could see that. He knew that his mother ah… Didn't really have any friends in the clan. Even Lightningfang, their father, tried to actively avoid her when he could. No one spent time with Birchwhisper on purpose. It was sad, but strangely Skypaw couldn't bring himself to feel too bad for her. Maybe it was because it wasn't because of anything but Birchwhisper herself.

Skypaw bit his lip. Minnowheart asked if he simply couldn't sleep or if he specifically had nightmares. If he were to ask such a thing, it'd be rather bold and it was possible Minnowheart would become short with him. But he felt he had to ask. Even so. Even if she got mad, even if Skypaw didn't really want to pick a fight with her. "Did you have nightmares? Is that why you're tired now?"

The way Minnowheart stiffened up and glared at him…. Skypaw suddenly found himself straightening his spine and stiffening up. "I didn't have any nightmares." She told him. She didn't raise her voice, but the sheer intensity, it almost felt like he was trapped in a flood under her gaze. "I went to sleep late and woke early." She claimed.

Skypaw didn't believe her. "But did you dream?"

Minnowheart abruptly stood up and suddenly was in his face, Skypaw found his ears folding back as he grew ever stiffer. His claws were digging into the ground so hard, he felt like he might rip up the ground under him.

"Skypaw. Drop it." She growled softly at him. Then she walked past him, stalking off, presumably heading back to camp.

Skypaw let out a deep sigh. It didn't sound any better than his other weary sigh. Was he really this tired now? He took a few rounds of deep breathing, relaxing his muscles and sheathing his claws. He slowly pushed himself to his feet, before he began to slowly walk back as well. He wouldn't bring this up again. He couldn't force the truth from Minnnowheart before it was time.

((A/N: I'm so sorry for the extreme lateness of this chapter. There were a lot of things getting in the way of this chapter, mainly school and admittedly I forgot about this story for a bit… But I will definitely finish it, I promise. It just might not be that fast, as I have other projects I work on besides this story. It can be hard and slow to write these chapters, so I beg patience as I slowly chip away at this story.))