a/n: i slowly extend my middle finger in the direction of kyoto animation studios as i swim in the narrow river of denial

It was a cloudy day and a walk home from school, standard and nothing special, when the conversation occurred.

"You're sure that you're okay with this?"

"Yes, Kumiko, for the fiftieth time, I'm okay with it."

"Thanks." Kumiko jammed her hands in her pockets, pouting as she glared up at Shuichi. "Y'know, you're a good friend for doing this."

"I know. I'm the best." Shuichi flashed a grin, and Kumiko rolled her eyes. "Still, it sucks that you've gotta do this at all. Kousaka-san's a . . . nice girl, you two should just be able to be all gross and sappy wherever."

"I've talked it over with her, she told me that this was the best way t-to 'handle things' until we leave for college."

"In two years?!" Shuichi nearly tripped on the gravelly road. "You want us to keep this up for two years?"

"We'll stage a breakup sometime in October, how does that sound?" Shuichi didn't say anything for a moment.

"It sounds okay," he grumbled.

"Thanks again." Kumiko inhaled deeply and shuddered as she looped her arm through Shuichi's, just as she'd done with Reina so many times, but his felt sweaty and uncomfortable, when Reina's had fit just with hers. "S-shall we go, sweetie?"

"You should take the lead, babe."

"Okay, so we're not doing the pet names."

"That'd be great."

"Okay, so let me make sure I know what's going on here - you got Tsukamoto to beard for ya?" Natsuki leaned against the railing with a sigh, wiping sweat off her brow. '"Why?"'

"Uh, r-reasons," Kumiko mumbled. "Personal reasons. Yeah."

"Sounds like it could blow up in your face really easily, if you want my opinion." Natsuki folded her arms, the very picture of adolescence and attempted rebellion, the purple ends of her hair glinting in the sunlight, and she looked up. "Who else knows?"

"You're the only one. Well, I mean, my cactus knows, but it doesn't count. I've told Hazuki-chan and Midori-chan before that I'm not interested in Shuichi, so I think they'll-"

"No offense, Kumiko, but your friends aren't really the . . . brightest, when it comes to certain things."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Their gaydar is broken enough that it could make a compass weep tears of despair."

Kumiko went very quiet for a moment before she said anything else.

"Oh."

"H-hello . . . honey," Kumiko wheezed as Shuichi nonchalantly passed her a plastic bag of food, in the middle of practice, with everyone's eyes trained directly onto her. Natsuki gave a knowing snort. "How's . . . boyfriending going for you?"

"It's great . . . sweetheart." Kumiko took an odd comfort in Shuichi's lack of comfort - at least he hated this as much as she did. Hazuki and Midori's jaws dropped to the floor. "I'll see you later, okay? Much, much later." With a warning glare courtesy of Kumiko, Shuichi backed off until he was nothing more than a speck in the hallway. Hazuki looked like she was about to throw up, and Midori started rubbing comforting circles on her back.

"What was that?" Riko finally spoke up. Gotou didn't say anything, just sat, silent, as he always did. Kumiko shivered. Midori paused her position as comforter to ask the same question.

"I thought you hated him, Kumiko-chan," she squeaked softly. Hazuki stayed silent with her head hanging towards the floor. "Why'd you lead us on like this?"

"Uh, change of heart?" Kumiko forced out. Now she wanted to throw up. "Yeah, that's it." Looking into the bag, she saw a note written in Shuichi's trademark chicken scratch, and she grabbed it curiously. Honestly, it could've said nothing at all and she'd have been just as grateful for its existence - anything to take the peering eyes of her peers off her, rendering her so vulnerable that she almost wanted to just scream right there and then.

Kousaka-san might kill me? Meet her at the tree by the entrance at 3:30 so that she doesn't do that.

-your not-boyfriend

Reina knows. Oh god, Reina knows.

"Crap."

"What?" Natsuki spoke up for the first time that afternoon, leaning back in her chair.

"I, uh, I have to leave. Right now, I have to leave. Tell Taki-sensei I'm in the bathroom if he comes to check up on us, okay?"

"Aye aye, captain." Natsuki gave her a miniature salute as the door was flung open and Kumiko ran down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the building until she could feel her throat gone dry and her lungs gone weak.

"Why did I do this?" she gasped hoarsely, doubled over onto herself. "Why did they buy it? Why can't I just-"

"Kumiko?" Reina stood by the tree, leaning on it like she'd been there her whole life.

"Oh, Reina. Aren't the rest of the trumpets wondering where you are?"

"I told them some lie about needing to grab something from the locker. They won't suspect anything for a while, except for maybe Konami. She's . . . perceptive."

"That's one word for it."

"Yeah." Reina tugged a low-hanging leaf off the tree and started to fold it into quarters. "You're dating Tsukamoto, then?"

"News travels fast, huh?" Kumiko tried to force out a chuckle, but Reina wasn't looking at her, fixed intently on the leaf.

"You never showed any interest in-"

"It's because I'm not actually dating him, okay?!" Kumiko threw her hands in the air in defeat. "It was a rise, and I couldn't even keep it up for a day, because I . . . I . . . geez, Reina, I want to keep on being with you, and we talked it out! You told me this was the best option!"

"You're a good actress." Reina stepped closer, hand lifted slightly like she wanted to hold Kumiko's arm. "And it would be easier, wouldn't it? If you forgot all about this and did what they expected of you?"

"I don't want that, Reina." Kumiko wrapped Reina in a loose hug, ready to pull away at a moment's notice if she didn't want it. "W-why didn't you just think we were pretending?"

"It's easy to assume the worst." Reina's voice was muffled in Kumiko's sweater, returning the hug. "When everyone was talking about . . . that, I just figured you'd taken the easy route. That you weren't pretending anymore."

"Wait, Reina, were you . . . jealous?" Kumiko could hear Reina huff.

"No," she insisted, and though Kumiko couldn't see her face, she thought she was almost certainly blushing, her nose scrunching up in that adorable way it did when she was embarrassed.

"You were! The great ice queen Reina Kousaka, jealous. Dork."

"You're just as much of a dork as I am." Reina pulled herself out of the hug, still holding Kumiko's forearms like they were about to waltz. "Now, if you're comfortable with it, I think I might have another idea."

Taki lowered his hands, and with it the band slowed to a stop until the only sounds in the room were the students' breaths, the adjusting of sheet music, and the birds outside.

"You're dismissed," he said, and as everyone got up with their things packed and their faces red from the intense session, Kumiko and Reina nodded at each other. Walking for the door, it would've looked like any other day, but before anyone else could get there, Reina pulled Kumiko in by the scarf of her uniform and kissed her.

To say that the band was surprised was an understatement. A few people cheered, Hazuki passed out right there on the spot, Shuichi chuckled good-naturedly, Natsuki gave a knowing nod. Taki didn't say anything, but Kumiko saw out of the corner of her eye that he held something in his hand tightly - a little plastic flower, maybe - and his eyes glimmered behind the glasses. Reina deepened the kiss, clearly not caring at all who saw, and Kumiko felt like flying.

"I can't believe we did that!" she breathed afterwards, still high on the exhilaration, and Reina wore a similar expression. "T-thank you. For doing that."

"It's no problem." Reina sidled close, so close that Kumiko could count the stars in her eyes, or something like that, something that sounded magical and fantastic and otherworldly, because that was how she felt right then. "There's nobody around right now. I suppose you wouldn't mind . . . continuing what we started in the music room, would you?"

"Not at all, Reina," Kumiko whispered, and as the two girls leaned into each other and kissed once more, she thought that maybe the universe had decided it was being a little kinder than usual.

a/n: konami is one of the new students detailed in the character list released for the year two novel, although i might not be getting her name right since i used google translate

anyway square up takeda. i'm here i'm queer and i'm ready to fight.