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Attachment.
An emotion he could never feel for his parents , rather his preschool teacher . He used to spend most of his time with her after all , and not his actual parents . How saddening . Is that why they say reality is harsh ?
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One of many .
He knew he was one of many children out there , neglected by their family and seeking comfort in a stranger's home .
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Home .
They teach children that home is a place where you feel safe , loved and precious . But he didn't feel any of those . Were they lying ? Or was he the problem ?
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Care .
He yearned to be cared for . They should have shown him more of that , if not , then why did they even give birth to him ? His little brain couldn't come up with an answer .
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Attention .
He wanted his parents' concern , love and care . He wanted their attention .. Or anyone's .
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Loneliness .
Is something he learned to live with . Even amidst his toys , he felt the usual pang of solitude . They bought him toys , lots of them . But never joined him , never played with him , never spared some of their time for him .
Sometimes they would promise to , but then they would only break that promise , like usual .
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Disappointment .
A surge of disappointment floods his tiny being every time they break their promises . But he still looked forward to it . Because when they do so , they kiss his forehead apologetically . The very gentle and brief display of affection helps sate his thirst for a very short time until he starts yearning for them even more .
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Shyness .
His personality didn't help him make friends fast . He finds himself wondering if such was the case because he never had a chance to pick up anyone's habits , he couldn't shape up his own . He didn't wake up to his father and mother 's love . He never witnessed them interacting much because he never had enough time to be with them in the first place .
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Darkened .
His childhood felt like a darkened , deserted and cold place .
Until one day , his parents decided to leave him with one of their friends' son .
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Unexpected .
The way that guy talked to him was .. Unexpected . He wasn't talking in a fake childish tone so as to appeal to him , yet he wasn't talking in a formal way reserved for elders or strangers either . It was simply endearing .
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Ache .
That alone made little zero's heart ache very softly yearning for what he had long wished for .. Care , attention and maybe even love . The way Kaname talked to him , for starters , made him feel acknowledged for the human being he was .. Moreover , he talked to him like he wasn't some child , clueless and naive , ( Most people unfortunately treated him as though he was . )
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Obedient .
Mostly , they tend to be nice the first 5 minutes before switching on the TV on a kid channel and making sure he was seated like an obedient mechanical child , ideal , and minded his own business . then they would resume texting their friends or something ..
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Closer .
Whoever they may have been texting or interacting with , must have felt way closer than Zero himself , though he was practically a few steps away ..
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Fine .
For them , As long as the child had means of entertainment and some snacks , everything should be fine until his parents finally come .
So pathetic , miserable and .. alone . It Made him feel like some kind of possession left in the hands of a friend of his parents till they were done with whatever plans they had .
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A pet .
Maybe a good way to describe it would be likening him to a pet .. A pet left in other people's care until his owners came to get him back ..
No .. Even a mere pet would be lucky getting some sort of attention , a pat on the head there or some tickles here ..
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Astonishment .
When he told Kaname that he was eight years old , the elder 's expression turned into astonishment . He had actually expected him to be six years old or younger judging by the way he looked .
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Conversation .
Kaname actually initiated a conversation with him . He asked little Zero about school and if he had good friends .
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A Sad smile .
He didn't know why but when he talked about the way he did whatever he could to make his friends happy , Kaname gave him a smile that looked sad . He didn't know how a smile could look sad but it did .
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Selfish .
" Zero , there comes a point in life where you should be selfish . Instead of your friends , mother and father , what they think and what they want , you should start thinking of yourself . Before doing anything , ask yourself ' Do I want this ? '
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kaname .
kaname told him to think of himself , to prioritize his own happiness every once in awhile .
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Ominous .
Those feelings were ominous . And they definitely had a meaning . As if on cue , Kaname's cell phone rang . He said he would be right back and went to answer the call .
Zero knew he shouldn't follow but curiosity got the best of him . He stood up on his tiny legs and followed his new .. his new .. new what ? What was Kaname to him ?
His eyes darted everywhere and then he recalled three words .
Safe , loved and cared for .. Home .. Being with Kaname was like finally finding home .
zero brightened up and proceeded following the voice .
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Burden .
When he got near , he heard the elder apologizing over the phone . He didn't seem to notice Zero approaching .
It seemed like someone was waiting for him .. He had plans that he forgot about when Zero's parents asked him to take care of their child ..
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Guilt and shame gnawed at the little boy's innocent mind . He shouldn't have .. If it weren't for him , Kaname would have been spending time with his friends now .
He was sure the elder would prefer to leave and meet his friends .. No matter how kind he was , he must love his friends more .
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It's then that Kaname hears the front door slamming . He paused , told his friend to wait and started calling " Zero ? "
But no one answered . He dashed through the whole apartment looking for the little boy but never found him .
Oh , God ! Where did he go ?
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