Disclaimer: I don't Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Trust me, you'd know. :3c

Edited: January, 22, 2018

The fact that I died was actually fucking hilarious to me for some reason.

I was deathly (get it) afraid of Death (with a capital D) but had jokingly said I'd embrace it in it's cold, skeleton full of vitamin D arms. But I'd totally bone it because I wouldn't want to die a virgin despite it being just a concept within society's rules.

Wouldn't it count as necrophilia? But I'm sure it would get a bone-r right? Cracking a cold one with the boys amiright.

All in all, I don't recommend dying from asphyxiation -4/10 would not recommend- unless you were kinky as shit (choke me harder, daddy). Then it would be a snuff film.

It was your typical robbery gone wrong, with the cliched black ski mask and the victim being home alone with the lights off in their bedroom. Of course I didn't want to go with my mom and brother to the mall for last minute shopping and I, being the lovely, generous human being, opted to "Protect our lovely home whilst playing my PS4, getting my ass beat on easy mode and indulge myself with Spicy Doritos and Dr. Pepper". They agreed, reluctantly since they'd lose an extra pair of hands for buying more stuff. Famous last words.

I'd tell you the gory details, but I'm not in the mood. I was just choked until I turned into an ugly shade of red while pissing myself from the sheer terror- I'm obviously traumatized and all. Can't harm this beautiful fluffy head with stress can't I? Conditioners can only save so much damage unti the white hairs starts to poke in. Especially the female version of a tuna but in a wig and tits with no dick (it's not that kind of fanfic, but I don't blame you for being a little disappointed). I'm no shounen but a shoujo manga coming to life. Is that sexist? But I didn't wanna get callouses on my hands, I got my nails did. And fight. Too lazy and not motivated enough to actually put effort into training. I just wanted to lie down be a piece of shit to society. My new-mother was wonderful, and I can grow to accept the idea of having two moms. Double the allowances and food.

But the problem was Reborn. His resolve to make Tsunayoshi the Tenth boss was adamant in the series, even with Tsuna out right refusing it on several occasions when the matter was brought up. So much so, it became a running gag until Reborn managed to break his will to accepting it. Because everyone had to do anal once in a while righ- not that kind of fanfiction. Got it.

I stared at my tanned, manicured with pink acrylic polished hands, so delicate and pretty despite the fat. Now these hands shouldn't hit another person unless it was involuntarily necessary.

A chubby!Tsuna in an anime. Go figure. I silently wished there no chubby chasers in this anime. A harem would be nice, but I'd like to tap Kyoko. Softly hard.

I guess the original Tsuna's longtime crush passed over to me like a torch. A beautiful, perfect, drop-dead gorgeous torch full of purity, rainbows and the softest kittens and pastel glitter.

Mommy said not to play with fire but damn am I not gunna kiss it.

I could write a sonnet for Kyoko. Vomit out poems and song lyrics in hopes to woo her to get her to hold my hand. And maybe a kiss on a cheek but I'm not a pervert, so a hug would suffice after I bought her dinner and chocolates.

Daydreams can only get you so far unfortunately. I sighed forlornly. Keep the gay in Not Leanne. Keep. It. In.

"Tsu-chan! Breakfast's ready!" Ah yes, breakfast. The second most important meal of the day, dessert being the first along with snacks. I didn't get these curves for nuthin'.

Uncaring that I was in a tanktop with the infamous leaf symbol from the anime Naruto on it and my underwear (sill a weeb at heart, forever), I raced downstairs to be greeted with the smells of eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and fruit. She couldn't get why anyone would only take a piece of toast and just run to school when all this shit was spread out just for you.

"Praise be the Gods slash Goddesses for Nan- Mama's cooking." I moaned, catching sight the large pile of bacon in the plates with fried eggs and sausage on my plate.

Mama giggled at my antics, oblivious to the slip on, already seated at the table with a cup of tea and a plate of raspberry jam toast with strawberries on the side.

"Thanks for the food!"

I had woken up in this body. Aged 14 in all it's awkward stage of puberty with breasts, curves and only a few inches worth of height. But 60 pounds heavier.

This universe's Tsuna- Sawada Tsunahime (courtesy to dad)- was still full of anxiety, low self worth and bullies drown to her like moths to a flame. We weren't much different, her and I. The only difference was, I could pull off a massive Bitch-face. I assumed 'Hime looked meek when walking to school, head down making no eye contact. Me, I held up my head high, strode by like I was a woman on a mission "so don't think of fucking with me, or you'll catch these hands" aura, with eyes straight dead-on.

No one usually bothered me before. I made the right friends and made little scathing remarks that protected me from any pursuit of bullies.

But alas, 'Hime's reputation proceeds her. Even with the change, not that it mattered.

"Oi, Buta-Hime." Ah, yes. A new nickname from Dame-Tsuna. This new body held a soul for the obvious love of food and weakness for chocolates that they managed to conjure up on their own.

I felt a pinched on my waist, hearing their snickers and insults.

Without looking at them, I politely smacked their hands away off of the goods.

And like poking a wasps' hive, they began to sting.

Bullying, what fun.

Picking up my thrown bag full of baked goods and doodles and mechanical pencils, I made my way to class ignoring the jeers from my fellow peers as they cackled.

I felt like such a cliche.

Bullied kid, loner, FEMALE, these are all signs of a novel or show that the main protagonist will have some magical shit happen to them, with the possibilities of a love triangle if they were female. But Kyoko was the one for me, and another trope was the guy always gets the girl. Or in this case the girl gets the girl. She hoped nothing tragic happened to her or Kyoko, the TV shows or books who showed LGBTA+ characters usually died. But women tended to be whiny and basically useless. Always the damsel in distress.

I looked down at my belly.

Bet they'd never anticipated a chubby protagonist though.

I chuckled at the thought how their future Vongola tenth would be fat. Or how Reborn would think.

I couldn't help but notice I almost skipped past the always being in distress part. I shrugged to myself. Whatever. Maybe in this life the Mafia were misogynists assholes or none of the Nineth's sons died so maybe I just dodged a bullet. A dying will bullet at that.

I looked a Yamamoto, laughing with his friends and fans. Maybe... not.

'But what would happen to Yamamoto if he...' I sat my ass down on my chair, pulling out a cinnamon bun, pencils and last week's homework. Waking up early and going to school before the bell rang had its perks. People with early morning practices were the only ones to arrive usually and bullies were a bare minimum. Except for today. I was glad I wrapped my goodies before I left. And also not getting my ass kicked by Hibari since I had the habit of being late all the time. Hibari was scary in real life, even hotter. 2D animation did not do him justice who previously didn't leave much to imagination for a real life Hibari. But he wasn't my major concern (yet).

Yamamoto Takeshi was an idiot. That was quite obvious in the anime/manga. But an idiot who was going to kill himself because of of peer pressure from his so called friends, egging him and to do a lot more than the rest ever did. Laying all of their expectations and disappoints on him, it had piled on and on until he snapped. Even if Reborn might not come, it still didn't defeat the fact that Yamamto Takeshi was going to jump and punch his Death ticket too damn early, and I don't have the strength or endurance to survive the fall.

So I had a plan. Not the most greatest or the most organized, but a plan nonetheless.

After School

Being near Yamamoto Takeshi was anxiety-inducing. I didn't want the dude or his friends to think I had a crush on the baseball star, especially when I sat on one of the benches far from the baseball practice reading a book. I wasn't interested in him. My heart only belonged to Kyoko. I looked fairly harmless, but I was sweating up a storm and my brain had not processed the words from my novel. My "interaction-with-people" meter was full and I wanted to go home and play video games or draw.

But I didn't want Yamamoto Takeshi's potential suicide weighing down my conscious. I needed to talk to him. Fuck comfort, a life was at stake. A lfe I could prevent from happening.

I checked my watch.

10 more minutes until practice was over.

Sighing wearily, I flipped the page of my book and re-read the page.

Before I knew it, the whistle blown signalling baseball practice was over.

'Fucking shit, fuck.'

I saved the page on my book by dog-earring it, placed it in my bag and got up from the bench. Anxiety crept up and lodged in my throat and made by heart beat faster as I saw Yamamoto taking a sip of water from his bottle. His teammates playfully teased each other by pushing themselves around as they went inside the school to change, leaving Yamamoto behind. No fangirl in sight. This was my chance with him alone.

Time to face the fucking music.

"Hey, Yamamoto-san!"

Yamamoto's POV

'My aim should have been better by now, lately it's been a bit off for a while. Not what I needed. Need to practice some more or else-'

"Hey, Yamamoto-san!"

The long lanky teen blinked, his train of thought caught off and nearly choked on his water..

He coughed harshly, wiping the water that spilled from his mouth as he turned, pin pointing the voice who called out to him.

Dame-Tsuna. The girl who had the same bad grades as him. But that changed over a month, improving just a bit to make a difference. Unlike him, who was a complete, utter failure- and her appearance had changed almost drastically.

No longer the little skinny, lanky girl in his class but replaced with someone more meaty and chubby. But she still had an aura of meekness around her with the awkwardness that surrounded her.

'Was it stress that made her bigger?' He couldn't help but think, but waved the thought away. Not his problem.

Not the type to ridicule (even when he ignored the constant bullying that followed Dame-Tsuna), the baseball nut smiled towards her.

'Please don't be another love confession.' He thought, shoulders mentally drooping. Don't get him wrong, he liked girls of all shapes and sizes but his focus based solely on baseball. That was the only thing he was good at and he can't let his skills dwindle for some girl (or boy). Tsuna was cute in her on way, but he wasn't interested. Not now.

"I... need to talk to you about something." She mumbled, looking to the side, body tensed. A blush was dusted on her round cheeks as she bit her lip that still had a few leftover crumbs.

'Damn.' He thought. 'This IS a confession.' Yamamoto didn't want to break her heart, but if he had to-

"Can we talk somewhere in private?" Tsuna asked, now looking at him, determination set ablaze in her eyes. That caught him off guard.

"Uh- I, uh" He stuttered, feeling a bit of a fool for feeling a little off from her eyes which strangely looked orange from the sun's lighting

"It's not about that," Tsuna grimaced, turning more red as she realized the context of her words. "I'm interested in someone else... No offense." She cracked a awkward grin. Relief swelled up like a balloon in his heart and the weight of guilt had vanished. He shook his head, smiling also.

"None taken. But I don't give good relationship advice." Tsuna merely shook her head also.

"Not that either. But I..." She paused, looking like she was carefully finding her words as she cracked her fingers. She was nervous. "...Need you to follow me." She said, emphasizing the first word. This was important. But for what exactly?

"What for Sawada-chan?" He perked up, putting up the facade of an overly cheerful mask, pushing away the fucking stress that always consumed his sleep-

"That." She nearly deadpanned. All of the redness was gone from her face, but replaced with a serious one that looked so alien on her face.

He blinked, shocked once again.

"Wha-"

"I know you're faking it Yamamoto-san." Confused, Takeshi blinked again.

"To put it bluntly, I know you're fucking depressed and frankly I'm worried that you might do something drastic." About to open his mouth and deny the fact he was, he was interrupted. "You're just like me," He closed his mouth. "and I won't say any bullshit when it comes to how you're feeling right now. Because I Know how shitty it can get, when it comes to something you're relied on heavily with expectations through the fucking roof"- When did she started swearing?-" only to feel like you've failed. Every. Single. Time."

He followed her after that.

Leanne's POV

It was fucking awkward walking beside Yamamoto Takeshi, after spilling out the beans that I called him out on being depressed and possibly suicidal, the usually talkative baseball nut was eerily quiet.

It was sorta scary seeing him so out of character. But I reminded myself this wasn't an anime or fanfiction. He was real like me (although that's up for much debate), not a character drawn in 2D. He wasn't just a talkative baseball nut. He was human and a teenager. Not an adult who was tasked with all of this Mafia bullshit.

I felt a little relieved when I saw the familiar sight of my house popping into view as when turned around a corner.

"This is mine." I said idly, pushing open the gate. He merely nodded, face unchanging. He didn't say anything when he followed me in.

"Mama! I'm home!" I shouted out as I opened the door. I took off my shoes and Yamamoto did the same, placing them neatly to the side.

"Welcome back Tsu-chan!" The kind, sweet voice that I grew to love and accept her to be my second mom, called back lovingly. Everyone deserved a Nana in their lives. A swell of resentment to Iemitsu, who LEFT us- no. He wasn't like my father before. He actually supported and loved us. He's protecting us from the Mafia, trying to give us a normal life as long as possible, I reminded myself. More towards the "Tsuna" than at me, but that gap was closing.

"I brought a friend over, hope you don't mind!" I called out, hoping Yamamoto didn't mind I called him a friend, but I didn't want Mama to think about something else entirely. I know in Japan becoming friends was like a level system. You can only say first names if you were VERY close or were allowed to get rid of the -chan or -san.

"Ora? Tsu-chan you brought a friend!" The sound of surprise of the prospect of my new body's social interaction nearly made me flinch. Was Tsuna really that bad at making friends? I shifted through her-our- memories. She had not.

"I'll bring snacks, you two-" She saw Yamamoto. "Head on upstiars!" She smiled more brightly after seeing him. Sparkles and stars literally floated around her.

'S-so cute!' I couldn't help but think. I was blessed with such a wonderful mother. 'Better than the last one.'

"Yeah, sure." I nodded, smiling towards her. "Thanks!" I called out to her and walked upstairs, Yamamoto trailing behind me. We entered my room and I softly closed the door.

Yamamoto stood off from the side awkwardly, shuffling his feet.

"Sorry about mentioning you were a friend, mama would be suspicious-" I started, a little embarrassed.

"It's alright." He said softly, speaking for the first time after the confrontation.

I nodded, cracking my knuckles as I awkwardly showing off my room. "Sit anywhere you like... Sorry about the mess." Books and papers were all around the room, taking up most spaces. Wrappers and some cups and plates were stacked but what I was most thankful for was there was no dirty clothes for him to see. I didn't want him to think I was a much more bigger slob than I was now.

"It's better than mine at least." He joked, but failed to bring a smile on his face. "Yeah..." I nodded.

He placed himself on the small table in the middle of the room, where it was the most cleanest. Still, he had to shove some books away for him to get more comfortable. I sat across from him. A heavy, uncomfortable silence invaded the room.

"So..." I started off first.

"How'd you know?" He asked in monotone. Fuck. I had to be smart or I'll scare him off.

"Because I've seen you pushing yourself." Yeah no shit Tsuna. "Too hard."

"Everyone does. Isn't that the point? When you know you're good at something, you're supposed to push yourself in order to get better at it."

"That's a fucked up way of seeing something like that. You're a teenager, who barely got out of their pre-teens."

"It's..." He sighed, closing his eyes.

A short pause.

"You love baseball don't you?"

"Is it that obvious?" Sassy. But he's still listening.

"Than why do you treat it as a... some sort of burden?"

"I don't-"

"Don't lie to me. Baseball for you should be fucking fun because hell- I know you love baseball. But it should be something that you WANT to do, not what you NEED to do. There's a difference between those two, and you're more leaning towards the latter and that ain't healthy."

"You don't understand."

"Try me."

"And why should I? You're Dame-Tsuna. You're not good at anything. So how can I explain this to you?" Okay, wow, harsh.

"That's true. I can never be great at something like you. I fail at most of my classes, I have no friends, I'm always belittled for a something tiny that I do or enjoy. It's a fucking war zone at school for me." Bitterness crept up my voice. I hated them.

"Then why are you... still here?" He questioned, grimaced at his insensitivity.

"Why haven't I end it already?"

"..."

"That's cause I know this," I spread my arms out. "Ain't forever. There's so much in this life you can enjoy. All of it isn't limited to baseball. And fuck those who fucking made you think that."

"But I'm the ace in baseball, my teammates depend on me!"

Yamamoto's POV

The little girl who Yamamoto thought was meek and fragile like a tiny bird, slammed her hand closed into a fist on the table. He was surprised it didn't crack from the pressure.

"And that's why you're like this!" She screeched. Eyes flashing dangerously, a hint of orange shone into her brown orbs. He brushed it off from the sun hitting her eyes again. "You're not suppose to carry your teammates to victory! It should be the other way around, and for all of them to carry each other! It's impossible to play baseball alone and you're teammates are treating it like you can! But you cannot. You're just a single person who isn't superhuman. There should be people who should support you yes, but not like that. Not. Like. That. Friends shouldn't use you for personal gain. They shouldn't make you do it alone while they stand by in the sidelines as they ignore you struggling and continue to push you until you fucking break."

She breathed in heavily, clearly pissed off. Not at him. For him. This was the first time anyone was like this for him. Not since his... mom.

"Baseball should be fun." She repeated. "And by doing so is fucking working together. Your teammates are so used to slacking off because everyone knows you're that good. You. Are. But all pros need breaks. What you're doing isn't healthy and the environment you're in is toxic as hell. It's literally life-draining for you, that's why you're failing in class because all you can focus on is baseball. There's life outside of sports Yamamoto-san. You can still play it, but not the way how you do it. I'm sorry to this, but it's fucking killing you."

His eyes began to sting. He clenched and unclenched his fists, head bowed throughout the rant from Sawada Tsunahime, processing the words over and over in his head.

"You're right, Tsuna." He chuckled, suddenly feeling goddamn tired. "Even how harsh you phrased it, it's the absolute truth."

He raised his head and was shocked when he aught sight of Tsuna. Fat rolls of tears had spilled out of her eyes while snot dripped from her nose. She looked miserable and upset all for... him. He never made a girl cry before, but seeing her like this... somewhat made him feel better. Not in a morbid way, but it showed how much she cared.

"We may not know each other well Yamamoto-san, but I care about you." She hiccuped, confirming his statement.

She rubbed the tears and snot from her sleeves, eyes all puffy and swollen. She wasn't the most beautiful crier, but it was real.

"I don't want you to die. Not from something that you enjoy and love." Tsuna pushed the small table to the side and crawled towards him with doe, glassy eyes that were usually narrowed and drooped in a lazy sort of way that had started not too long ago. Back when there was somehow a change in Sawada Tsunahime.

The smell of baked goods and tea was prominent in his nose as he was enveloped into Tsuna's arms, her chin placed on his shoulder. She was short in stature, practically dwarfed between the two of them. The extra meat felt full around his arms as he embraced her back, perfect in his arms... Just like his mom's.

In the first time in a long while, tears leaked out from his eyes and spilled onto the loving, caring woman's shoulder who knew too much but understand all the pain that welled up inside him and how much he forced it into a box until it threaten to collapse and spill. He shuddered to think what could've been.

"Please don't disappear." She whispered in his ear as she burrowed deeper into his arms, trembling.

He hugged her tighter.

'I won't.'

Author's note: Wow from necrophilia jokes to this. Anyways I hoped you enjoyed this failed attempted humor and angst lol.

Reason for Yamamoto's depression and confrontation: I dunno, when I red the manga and watched the anime they didn't treat Yamamoto's attempted suicide that well and that irked me. So I wrote this shit down on the first chapter because hey, this is a self-insert. I'd make a beeline to the baseball freak and punch some sense into him more early lol.

Tsunahime's sexuality: I'm pansexual in real life and I didn't wanna erase original Tsuna's crush on Kyoko. I don't know if it would be endgame tho but I'll leave it up to you guys. I'll put on a poll and if there's anyone you'd like to see one there, pm or review on it so I'll post it right away lol.

Reviews make me feel special.