Witness of the Dark

by TheStupidSheep

xx

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin

Armin's girlfriend was arriving in the late afternoon, Armin had said. He was so nervous of going alone that he asked Eren and Mikasa to go with him, which ended putting together a top of the worst awkward moments they had had in a long time.

Just as the one they were having at that moment. Mikasa hated them so much. She hated them because they'd been happening a lot these days. Still, she couldn't just get to speak. The heaviness of what she did —the man she killed— was so strong she didn't even feel the right to excuse herself. Not because it had been a murder, but because she didn't feel guilty at all. There'd been a power, one she didn't have before, a power that now she was able to use in order to protect her loved ones.

She'd loved that rush in her veins, the right she had to point out that she'd been able and still was able to protect them. She didn't have to count on anyone, she just needed her own self to do so. Knowing she believed that, made it worse. How could she say such a thing to her friends? One of the many things she now hid from them. She was disgusted with how little she cared of killing someone.

Was this the way Levi felt? An emptiness, a lack of reaction to what was supposed to make her feel horrified? Was she a monster, already, just like him?

She didn't want to think about it. She already felt bad because of all the things she thought of him after the accident. It showed how easy was for her to mistrust someone, even the creature that taught her how to fight, not to kill, but to protect. She felt bad because of the way she had thought of Ymir and Erwin, both vampires that helped her to survive, even though it wasn't because they cared for her but more because of what she meant for Levi, a vampire prince. Perhaps with her blood not being pure anymore he was going to get over her and pretend that he didn't have a mate. It was easier for him, Mikasa thought. She was not a vampire, for starters, and she was not going to risk the life of her loved ones, all humans like her, all unable to even raise a finger to defend themselves.

No. She was not going to fight a war that wasn't hers, knowing she had people she could lose. This was not her fight, even when her blood screamed the opposite, even when at night, her memories were full of Levi's little smile as he guided her motions in the darkness. She didn't want to think about what she had been thinking: that they weren't mean to be together, after all.

Shaking her head, she took a deep breath, focusing her eyes on the coffee cup in her hands, feeling her cheeks getting warmer. A hand appeared in front of her, grabbing one of hers. It was Armin's.

"You did nothing wrong" Said Eren, putting his own cup on the table. He looked at it with obvious anger and frustration, "You were protecting us. If it weren't by you, we would be very dead right now…"

"Or very hurt." Said Armin, nodding.

"Or very hurt."

Mikasa hid her face on her scarf, relieved to accept how much she had been wishing to hear that from them.

She stared at them, their eyes connecting again.

So this is how Levi felt, Mikasa thought. Of course, she got to understand what Levi felt: it was better to not get them involved. It had to be that way.

"I know you wonder how I learnt to fight or... Or who taught me. But believe me, is better for you to stay out of this."

"I don't think so." Said Eren.

They went quiet for an awkward second.

"Eren…"

"No." Eren replied, turning red with anger. "Of course I know who taught you. I've seen him way many times and the way he treats you…"

"You've been spying on me…" Something she already suspected, she ended confirming it.

"Of course I spied you! The man whom taught you only visits you during the night and he leaves before sunrise. He looks fucking older than you and has that 'Imma killer' face that not every person has. Tell me, don't you think that's fucking suspicious?" His voice turned louder with every word he spoke.

Mikasa looked around, noticing the people that stared at them from the other tables.

"Eren, stop!" Said Armin in a hushed scream.

"What did he ask in exchange?" Eren said, getting nearer to her from his chair.

"What?"

"For teaching you how to fight, what did he ask in return? If you don't say it, I will."

Mikasa almost lost her voice.

"This is not the moment to talk about this." Armin whispered.

Eren just left out a fake laugh before turning to Armin. "He is fucking her; I saw him kissing her once." Mikasa felt a punch in her stomach. Then she understood it had been his words that let her unable to breathe correctly. "And don't say it's not true, he had you against a tree!"

"Oh my god" Said Armin, covering his face.

Mikasa dropped her jaw. Then she felt anger, real anger, reverberating in her chest, going up her throat, and…

"You have no proof of what I was or wasn't doing, and even if you have it, it's not of your damn business!" Said Mikasa.

Eren eyes snapped.

"Ugh, c'mon Mikasa! He was taking you to the woods every damn night! You weren't the same as before, you didn't practice as hard as before! You even stopped talking to me like before!"

"It still doesn't give you the right to do what you did!" Mikasa growled.

But then Eren hit the table, shutting her instantly.

"I was worried about you!" He confessed, breathing hard.

Mikasa went mute. Armin was pale, one of his hands on his chest.

They did such a scene that the people around them went completely quiet as well. When the silence got too awkward to handle, the trio decided without even looking between them to pretend they were drinking from their cups as if a hell of a discussion wasn't really happening.

Eren didn't know where to look at, and Armin just kept moving the tablespoon in his coffee, his eyes lowered with shame and sadness.

Mikasa stared at both of them, knowing very well that they were worried but still comprehending just at that moment how deep it was. Armin had tried to reach her, failing, and now Eren was the one that failed to do so as well.

"Why didn't you just say it?" Mikasa whispered. "Was it that hard?"

"It wasn't." He said, lowering his eyes for a second. Then he said, "But would you have told the truth?" He pointed at Armin. "I bet he did it and got nothing." Armin nodded without looking at Mikasa, his coffee the most amazing shit that ever existed.

No, never, I would have lied, just like I did with Armin, thought Mikasa, to her horror.

"That was my decision, to say it or not. You still spied me, Eren."

Armin sighed. "She is right." Eren said nothing. He crossed his arms, mumbling angrily, and stared through the mirror, not wanting to admit his mistake. Armin turned to Mikasa, "But you shouldn't do risky things without at least warning us. What would had happened if you had gone to the woods and then you hadn't come back? Who could had helped you? Who could have known?"

He was right, so right. She had risked not only her life, but her family's and friends' when she kept Levi's existence to herself. How different would have been things if she had taken them in a different way.

Armin got closer to her, nudging at her. "You know we are your friends, you can—

"Trust you, yeah" She smiled, "I do. I trust you, I… I love you, guys."

They sensed her change instantly. Eren stopped mumbling and turned to her, serious. Armin's smile faded.

Mikasa straightened.

They were right. They deserved to know.

"His name is Levi."

They didn't move.

"I met him around five months ago." She looked bitterly at Eren. "He is not fucking me. We are just…" Mates. "Yeah, we are something… It's hard to explain."

"Why at night? Why not at lunch? Or a nice dinner in a nice place? With music? And candles?" Asked Eren.

"Actually, he did that."

Armin laughed. When Eren looked at him bitterly, he coughed.

"Maybe I'm not far from the truth and he is actually a killer."

"He is not."

"His name won't help at all. C'mon, say something!"

"You won't believe it." She said. Eren rolled his eyes.

But she stood to her words. The possibility of Eren thinking that Levi was a vampire was smaller than an ant, and yet that was still big.

At that moment, Armin's cellphone rang. He hesitated before taking it out his pocket.

"It's Annie!"

Their hearts raced.

Suddenly, Eren leaned on the surface, looking at both of his friends. "We haven't finished this conversation. You will tell us everything, you want it or not!" He said, growling, and then he stood up and walked towards the entrance of the cafeteria as if his dignity was being stabbed with a plastic knife.

Armin let out a trembling breath as he stared at Mikasa, who looked as if a car had ridden over her… twice.

"He's just worried and maybe… maybe he doesn't know how to cope with jealousy." He said, scratching his nape.

"But he's right, and you too." They started to walk out the place. "I just wanted to protect you, I really do."

"Saying those kind of things makes us more worried."

"But it's the truth, I don't want you to-"

"Get involved, yeah. No. We've always been involved; we are your friends."

Mikasa sighed, knowing very well for the look on Armin's face that he was not going to change his mind about this.

"Let's go" she said, trying to deviate the attention from her, "your girlfriend must be awaiting for you."

…

"Is she taller than you?" Asked Eren, his hands in his sweater pockets.

"Eh, no. She is the same height as me."

"Uh, so she's a shorty." When he said that, he threw to Mikasa a bitter look before looking at the arrival zone.

Mikasa rolled her eyes and stared at the people going out from the arrival zone, all of them being greeted by family or friends that were waiting for them as well. Armin started to move his feet nervously, his eyes moving around to find the girl.

"That's… that's her!"

A short girl with a lacy pace walked out the arrival zone. She was using a huge grey sweater and she had the hoodie on, covering part of her face and her blonde hair. She was dragging a white suitcase, a black backpack resting over it, and she never looked up to see where she was going, but she never ran over anyone.

"How do you know is her?" Asked Eren, his eyes darting on the girl.

Armin smiled stupidly.

"Her suitcase is white and, well, that hoodie—"

"It's yours." Said Mikasa. In fact, it was. It said SUPERNOVA in white letters and it had a little hole under the U. Of course she knew, thought Mikasa, she gave it to him as a gift before he left to the uni. "I can't believe you made a hole in it."

"It was an accident." Armin mumbled, walking towards the girl.

She stopped moving, staying in the middle of the way, still looking at the floor.

But she forgot about her suitcase, opening her arms with weak motions, and she didn't even raise her face as she embraced Armin in her arms, her head buried in the nook of his neck and shoulder.

She just knew he was Armin.

When her shoulders started to move, trembling, Mikasa and Eren forgot about their fight and looked at each other, frowning with curiosity.

The girl was crying.

…

Armin kept hugging the girl during the ride back to his house, and even though Mikasa tried to catch his attention through the rear-view mirror, he was completely invested on the girl, which face didn't leave his neck the whole time they were in the car. She couldn't stop crying, her tears falling quietly on Armin's shirt. They were whispering to each other, making it impossible to understand what they were talking about.

The girl was the first to step out of the car when they arrived to Armin's house, mumbling something similar to needtobreathe.

Armin sighed, still inside.

"What happened?" Asked Eren.

"Her best friend died." Said Armin.

"What? How?" Asked Mikasa, turning to see him better.

"There was a fire, didn't tell me how." He coughed, "He was unrecognizable after it happened."

"Shit."

"She shouldn't have come" Mikasa said.

"I told her just the same, but she insisted that it will be better for her. His family is suffering a lot."

Eren shrugged.

"We will see what we can do to help her."

Armin nodded.

"I will let you know if we're coming to dinner tonight. I don't want to push her to do something she doesn't want to." The three of them looked at the girl walking around, her face directed to the dark sky.

"She seems lost."

"I bet she is" Said Mikasa, "Wouldn't like to be on her place right now."

When she said that, the girl stopped walking, her back to the car.

Armin sighed again. They said bye as he took Annie's stuff from the trunk and guided her to his house.

Just as the front door was closing behind them and Eren was turning on the car again, Mikasa saw a glimpse of the girl's face.

Her eyes, Mikasa was sure, were focused on her. She was also sure that they looked at her with pure hate.

…

Mikasa wasn't surprised when Armin told them only his parents were going to go to her house at dinner. She tried to gulp down the bad feeling the news brought her, but her mother saw her and she wasn't surprised as well when her mom asked "What's wrong, darling? Why do you have such awful expression on that beautiful face?"

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? Of course it is. It's Christmas Eve! You never look this stressed on Christmas Eve."

Mikasa was going back and forth, preparing the table as her mom and the other women on the kitchen –Armin's and Eren's mother— finished cooking. Her mother followed her as she churned a sauce. "Tell me, what is it?"

The girl put the dishes with a little more of force on the table, sighing as she turned around to see her mother. What could she tell her? That she didn't care that Armin's girlfriend was there and her best friend died? That she was angry with this girl she didn't even know and was taking Armin's time when she should have been somewhere else mourning her friend and he should have been there, with her and Eren as it always was?

Mikasa could already see she was not going to be friendly from now on with this Annie. Christmas Eve was so important for them, she didn't remember last time they didn't diner together or without one of them sitting there.

"Don't worry mom. It's dancing stuff, as always."

Her mother looked at her for two seconds before nodding.

"I understand. You don't want to tell me anything, okay."

"Mom!"

"It's okay darling, seriously." She put the bowl with the sauce on the table and turned to her daughter. "I know that you're feeling stressful because of that" And for Mikasa it was obvious she was referring to the new mark on her cheek, "but you know what? I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter how it looks, you're still beautiful, and you shouldn't worry about it as you're doing now. Believe me, a scar will not take your dreams away from you and if it does… Well, screw them, there will be more academies and more places in which you will be more than accepted, you hear me? This thing here" And she touched the scratch, making Mikasa shiver, "It's a signal of your strength and power. You shouldn't be ashamed of it" She shook her head, "you should be proud."

Where did that all come from? How did this conversation turned towards probably the lastest thing she wanted to talk about?

"I killed someone, mom." She whispered, trembling. "How can you say that I should be proud?" When the only thing I see in the mirror is that damn scar? When the only thing I see is the blood covering my hands? When I don't feel guilty at all? Am I so sick that I care more of what consequences will bring the scar on my dancing career? Am I sick enough so you can see that I'm not a sweet girl? That I kiss monsters in the dark and I wish, very quietly on my bed, he could just come and take me with him? Don't you see it, mom?

"You protected the people you love. I don't want to think about what could have happened if you didn't…" Her voice turned thin. "I know that you are feeling confused and guilty, but we will get out of this. Together. You will shine again, I promise you."

Her mother then hugged her, resting her chin on Mikasa's head.

"You've grown so much, my Prima Ballerina Abssoluta"

Mikasa smiled, hugging her back.

That night, Armin never arrived.

...

Mikasa looked at the mirror on her room. There was no music. Just her, just the mirror, just her room.

If you die, Levi dies. If Levi dies, we lose.

She already stretched, and now she was about to spin. Spin, so she could focus on other thing. Spin, so she could forget. Spin, so she could feel lighter, as she was about to open beautiful wings and fly away from this nightmare.

The humanity will succumb into hell.

She started moving, her leg not failing her even once. It was strong, and healed, and perfect.

Think about the memories, Mikasa, for there's no time to waste. Your life is at risk, just as the one of your loved ones.

Mikasa kept spinning, her eyes seeing flashy images of herself on the mirror. There it was, the scar, popping out her face like a huge signal.

You are in danger.

And she thought to herself, non-stopping: Is this who I really am? Is this my real destiny?

She didn't know anymore.

…

Something was wrong.

Mikasa woke up almost swimming in sweat. She looked at her cellphone, taking the shirt off as she tried to understand why the heck she was so hot and damp, when she saw the time on the screen.

Saturday. Dec. 26th. 02:41 AM

A lazy breeze reached her and she saw the opened window, the pale-blue curtains moved aside as if someone had done it, letting in the chilly wind of winter. And she was wet from head to toe? Then she remembered that she didn't leave the window opened. Who would do that on winter? Not anyone, not her.

She heard a noise downstairs, something crashing on the floor, and straightened.

Something was wrong.

Never. Her parents never woke up at this hour, not if the only reason to wake up was her.

She jumped out of the bed, clenching her cellphone on her hand, and ran out of the bedroom. Just when she was about to turn towards the stairs, she slipped on the floor, falling downside and hitting her arm.

Water, there was water on the—

It wasn't water.

Mikasa stared blankly at the red, thick liquid, half of her body now covered with it.

She couldn't breathe. She just stared, unmoving, completely paralyzed. She thought that, if she didn't move, it would disappear. The blood covering would disappear and she would stand up as if nothing happened.

But yeah, nothing happened, and the blood was still there.

So Mikasa stood up, her hands trembling with fear, with fury, and walked downstairs, following the little scarlet path, still clenching her cellphone. It was the only thing she could do, to walk. Moving something else, moving her fingers or lips to scream, it was impossible. They shut down, as if they were machines that she couldn't control at that moment, couldn't follow her orders.

Each step was weaker than the other, and the blood seemed to stain everything she saw. Were her eyes, maybe? Playing tricks on her again? She didn't know, couldn't know. The stairs felt endless, they had just multiplied, and Mikasa thought that this, this was the nightmare she so desperately wanted to avoid from happening.

But when Mikasa reached the end of the stairs and her eyes looked towards the living room in front of her, she knew it was not a nightmare.

It was real.

Her father lying on the floor, completely dried, was real. Her mother surrounded by vampires, her neck dripping blood, was real. As well as Armin, and his so called girlfriend grabbing him by the neck.

Annie's eyes were the purest of red, just as the eyes of the rest of them.

"So, little princess" she said, her fangs caressing Armin's neck, "Why don't we begin? I have plenty of questions to ask you."

I listened to Interstellar Main Theme and Light of the Seven (GoT OST) while writing this.

Hope you like it, we're near the end now. See you next update!

xx

La que tals.