"Okay, what's wrong?"

Naruto glanced up from his plate of untouched food. His mother staring at him, her hands posed firmly on her hips.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

Kushina shook her head. "Nope. Nuh-uh. You know I won't fall for that, mister. Something's wrong, and I want to know what!"

Naruto sighed. He loved his mum, but right now this was the last thing he wanted to deal with. "Nothing's wrong."

Kushina's eyes narrowed. "We're having ramen for dinner and you're pushing it around your plate, instead of stuffing your mouth like you should be doing." Well, she did have a point there. "Something's wrong. Even Minato knows it."

His dad — who had been looking at Naruto with wide, concerned eyes, and nodding along to his wife's words — blinked and asked, slightly offended, "Wait, what do you mean, 'even Minato.'

Kushina snorted. "Sweetie, I love you, but you're so oblivious."

"I'm not oblivious!"

"Aww, you're oblivious about being oblivious."

"Kushina."

Naruto slumped back in his chair, and continued to watch his parents. Well, as long as they weren't talking about him anymore —

Kushina turned back to him. "Honey, something needs to be done!"

Well, so much for that.

"You look sad, and I hate seeing you look sad, so that's reason number one. And reason number two is that you're wasting good ramen - and if you were in a normal state of mind, you'd understand that! And — reason number there! Your Dad and I were going to have hot, steamy sex after this, and I can't focus if I'm worried about you!"

"Kushina!"

"MUM!"

"What?!" Kushina said defensively, as Naruto and Minato stared at her in mortification. "I'm stressed, okay?! You know I overshare when I'm stressed!"

Yeah, well now Naruto was grossed out. He did not want to think about his parents doing that. Ever. And now he was even more miserable than before, so thanks for that Mum.

Mintage rubbed his forehead. "Naruto."

"It's fine!" Naruto snapped. "I'm just…er…going through some stuff. With friends. That's all."

"Friends huh?" Kushina leaned forward, her expression suspicious. "You mean Sasuke."

Naruto stiffened. "Uh, no — "

"You — " Kushina's eyes widened. "Oh! Minato, go grab by baseball bat. I'm going to go give Fugaku's son a piece of my mind."

Minato groaned. "Kushina, what are you doing?"

Yeah, that was a very good question, but Naruto was too busy staring at Kushina in horror to really say anything.

"Obviously that little shit has done something to hurt my baby, and I'm not going to let him get away with it," she said, a dangerous glint in her eyes. "I mean, don't get my wrong, I totally ship Naruto and Sasuke, because, hello? Sasuke's great, and he's Mikoto's son. But right now, he's being Fugaku's son, and that means I need to go and whack him on the head a few times until he realises that he's being a jerk."

"Sasuke didn't do anything!" Naruto said, his eyes widening in horror. Oh god, if she did that he'd never be able to show his face around Sasuke ever again. And Naruto had no doubt that his mum was fully capable of it.

Kushina crossed her arms. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"And you're not attacking anyone Kushina!" Minato added firmly.

Kushina pouted. "I wouldn't hit him hard or anything! Mikoto would totally kick my arse if I did."

Naruto sighed. As much as he'd like to forget about everything that had happened, he really needed to get his mum off his case. It'd be kind of hard to stop Sasuke finding out about all this if she went and attacked him with a baseball bat.

"I'm just upset because…Sasuke's got a girlfriend. And it's tough. And I was trying to get his attention but…he's not interested."

Oh great, and now both his parents were staring at him with sad puppy eyes.

"But that's okay! That's totally okay! I'm too good for the teme anyway, and being single is completely fine! It just gives me more time to eat ramen. Plus, he insulted my jumpsuit the other day! We're way too different to ever work out — imagine the kids! I'd be all "we're painting the baby's room orange" and he'd want to paint it black! It'd never work!"

Kushina flapped her hand dismissively. "Orange and black stripes — easy. Naruto, you are not giving up! Sasuke loves you — Mikoto and I have both seen it. We've been dreaming of this day since you boys were born!"

"We'll support you, no matter what," Minato said, shooting his wife a warning look.

"Yeah, obviously. But you you can't give up this easily!"

Naruto sighed. "I've tried everything. Chocolates, flirting…it doesn't work."

And his flirting had been so damn good. Clearly the teme just wasn't interested.

"Well duh," Kushina said. "Sometimes it takes more than that. Sasuke's kind of dumb when it comes to these things, so you need to make a grand gesture. Something huge! Something public! Something — "

Minato sighed. "Kushina, no."

"Oh come on Minato! It took you gallantly rescuing me — "

"You fell on my head and gave me a concussion."

" — to realise how much I loved you!"

Naruto frowned. "You want me to fall on Sasuke's head?"

"Yes!" Kushina clapped her hands together, smiling widely. "But if that doesn't work, then I have the perfect idea. I even wrote a fanfiction about it once!"

Naruto leaned forward, grinning slightly. His mum put a lot of effort into her fanfiction. Naruto should know, he'd helped her edit a few of them over the years. Maybe this could actually work.

Minato sighed, gazing at his wife and son with an expression that was both fond and very worried.

…

He couldn't do it.

It wasn't that his mum's advice wasn't great — in any other situation, Naruto was sure it'd work. But Sasuke didn't like him that way, and Naruto was pretty sure that this would all blow up in his face.

That, or Sasuke's fist would blow up in his face.

Either way, he really didn't want to find out.

His mum's words rang out in his head — "Make a grand gesture. Stand up in a really public place…you have assembly tomorrow, don't you? Minato, shut up, this is a GREAT idea, okay? So yeah, stand up in front of EVERYONE and tell Sasuke how much you love him. If that was a romantic movie, that'd be the moment that you guys got together, and the credits would roll before the honeymoon period ended and all the fighting, and awkwardness, and potential break ups came around…"

Naruto glanced around the hall. There were a lot of people here, and the thought of being rejected by Sasuke in front of all of them…ugh. Yeah, no, he couldn't do it.

He slumped back in his chair, fidgeting nervously. Gaara, who was seated beside him, shot him an inquisitive glance that he chose to ignore. Sasuke was somewhere in the hall, probably next to Sakura. The two of them hadn't seen much of each other lately, which was probably another reason not to do this.

Only about ten minutes had passed since the assembly had begun, which meant that there was still close to an hour to go. Naruto wasn't sure he could last that long. He could barely sit still in his seat, the thoughts whirring in his head. He could just wait, ignore his mum's advice, and steer clear of Sasuke for the rest of his life…sure, it'd suck and he'd probably get really fat from all the ramen stress-eating, but he could deal with that. Sasuke was still a huge jerk, and he couldn't stay hot forever, right? And jumpsuits still came in extra large, so who cared if he got really fat?

…Except Sasuke was probably one of those people who aged really well, and would eventually become one of those guys who looked thirty when they were really seventy. And sure, jumpsuits came in extra large, but what if they ran out of his size?

Naruto stood up abruptly. "Uh, I have something I need to say."

Danzo shot him a furious look (which, in all honesty, really wasn't that terrifying. Naruto had always thought his angry expression made him slightly constipated, which was actually really funny). "Sit down!"

"No! I need to do this!"

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Hiruzen demanded. Naruto wasn't exactly sure why he wasn't on stage instead of Danzo (Danzo was only vice principal after all), but he guessed it was because Danzo liked hearing the sound of his own voice, even if no one else did.

"Making a grand gesture!" Naruto said, hurrying up to the front of the hall. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, and tried to ignore them. If he backed out now…well, he had no idea how this was going to go, but he'd probably never forgive himself if he didn't at least try. Plus, he was Naruto Namikaze, and when did he ever take the easy way out?

He climbed onto the stage, ignoring Danzo's furious protests. He could deal with the fall out later — right now he needed to get this over and done with, preferably before he puked in front of the entire school (and he was wearing his favourite orange jumpsuit for good luck, and he really didn't want to get vomit all over it. He loved the teme, but there were limits). "There's something I need to say! I tried to do other things, but nothing's worked, so I'm doing this instead."

The entire staff and student body stared back at him, too confused to do or say anything.

"I have feelings for this guy who is a really good friend of mine, and - well obviously I'm telling him now. Well, I guess I'm telling everyone. But — " He glanced at Sakura, who was looking more than a little horrified, and froze. Oh God, what was he doing? Sasuke was dating Sakura, who was actually a really good friend, even though she could be pretty terrifying at times. He couldn't do this to her, even if he really, really wanted Sasuke. Except maybe having Sakura mad at him wasn't the end of the world…maybe she'd get over it? That's if Sasuke didn't just reject him outright, which was probably what was going to happen anyway, so —

Sakura jumped to her feet. Beside her, Ino did the same. "Oh, hell no!"

Crap, crap, why had he listened to his mum?

Suddenly it wasn't just Sakura and Ino who were standing, but Itachi's entire group of friends, who had surged up and started yelling— "You can do it!" "Tell him how you feel!" "Go, you little blonde freak!" "Someone get me some dynamite so I can REALLY get this atmosphere going!"

Itachi sat slumped over in his seat, his head buried in his hands and muttering something under his breath.

"Oh shut up, would you?!" Sakura snapped, glaring at the group.

"No, you shut up!" Oh great, now Fu was standing up, with the rest of his roleplay friends nodding along in agreement. "Let Naruto speak!"

"I think Sasuke needs to tell him something first!"

"Actually no," Gaara interjected, "Naruto was speaking first. I think we should let him finish."

Ino snorted. "Well we all know why you'd want that."

Naruto stood frozen on the stage, staring uncomprehendingly at the commotion. Yeah, this definitely wasn't what he'd had planned. He hadn't even considered this. All his worst-case-scenarios had involved Sasuke either storming out of the room, tackling him off the stage (in a totally non-sexual way, unfortunately) and punching him repeatedly, or Sasuke declaring his love for Sakura and giving her a painfully long kiss, and then possibly getting down on one knee and asking her to marry him.

Naruto's had planned for all of those (he'd run away and eat as much ramen as he could until he exploded). He had not planned for this.

"That's it!" Danzo roared, storming over to Naruto. "Go to the Principal's office, now!"

"Sasuke needs to tell you something!" Sakura yelled. Naruto risked a glance at Sasuke, and, oh God, he looked mad.

Sasuke didn't move, just sat there and continued to look angry, and Naruto could feel his heart sinking. Danzo was also getting closer, and he should probably get a move on if he wanted to find a suitable ramen restaurant. Death by ramen wasn't a pretty good way to go in Naruto's opinion.

Except, well…he'd come all this way, hadn't he? He'd made a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school, in front of Sasuke, and if he just left it here, he'd probably never forgive himself. And was he really going to let the teme stop him from doing this? The guy was pretty much always angry anyway.

He took a deep breath. "Sasuke…I really like you. And not just as a friend, teme. As…more than that. Uh. That's all."

He jumped off the stage, ignoring Danzo's furious howl, and hurriedly walked towards the exit.

He was too busy staring holes into the ground to hear a pair of hurried footsteps coming towards him (and even if he had, he probably would have expected Danzo, on his way to murder him). He felt someone grab his arm, and turned around to see Sasuke standing there. He didn't look angry anymore, which was either a good sign, or a sign that he was on his way to having a mental break down, because Naruto didn't think he'd ever seen Sasuke's eyes looking that wide before.

"Dobe, wait," Sasuke said, slightly out of breath.

"Leave me alone," Naruto said, shrugging him off. "I get it, you don't feel the same way. I just…needed to tell you that."

Sasuke looked frustrated. "Would you just let me — "

"I think I'm going to go and bury myself in some ramen now. I need comfort food. Um — I'll talk to you later, okay?" Because maybe Sasuke didn't want to end their friendship after all. He had come after him…and he didn't seem nearly as angry as he had been before. "I don't want to ruin our friendship or anything. You're a jerk, but I still — "

And then Sasuke was kissing him. It took Naruto a moment to realise that no, this wasn't some weird method of suffocating him to death — Sasuke was actually kissing him.

Sasuke pulled away, and Naruto responded in the only way he could think of: he punched him in the face.

Sasuke reared back, clutching the side of his face. "What the hell, dobe?!"

Before Naruto could react, Sasuke had pulled his fist back, slamming it into the side of his face. Pain exploded in his jaw and staggered back.

"Ow! Teme! What was that for?!"

"You punched me!" Sasuke snapped, rubbing the side of his face.

"You kissed me!"

Sasuke glared defiantly. "Yes I did! And if you didn't like it, you could have just said so!"

"Of course I liked it teme!" And now Sasuke just looked confused. Well, Naruto sure as hell wasn't going to let him have the last kiss. He stepped forward, grabbed Sasuke by his collar, yanked him forward, and slammed his lips against his.

And, oh yeah, that felt great. Best kiss he'd ever had (he'd only had two, the other one taking place barely a minute before); he was actually prepared this time, and he wasn't about to punch anyone in the face, and it was with Sasuke.

Mum was right — kissing was almost as good as ramen.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke murmured, once he'd pulled away. His hands were still clutching him close, and even though Naruto had no idea what the hell was happening, he really didn't want him to let go.

Sakura was probably plotting his murder though. He'd worry about that later — and there would be plenty of worrying, because Sakura was actually terrifying.

There was a small smattering of applause, and then some more, and suddenly the whole room joining in. Naruto pulled away slightly and saw that everyone was staring at them, with more than a few people on their feet. Most people looked enthusiastic (although Naruto wasn't sure how many of them were actually happy for them, and how many were just glad for a break from Danzo), some looked confused, and some looked murderous (Danzo).

Naruto didn't really have much time to contemplate how everyone else was reacting, because a second later a sudden burst of loud music had him rearing back. It took him a moment to recognise it as Unchained Melody, and another moment to realise that Gai had hijacked the speaker system.

"Yosh!" Gai cried, his hands clutched to his chest, "we need a romantic soundtrack to go with this moment! And Ghost was such a youthful movie!"

"I agree!" Lee cried, jumping to his feet.

"Oh Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"What the hell?" Sasuke muttered.

Still standing on the stage, Danzo let out a howl of rage.

Naruto blinked. "So…this is corny."

"Agreed."

"And this music is really, uh…" Naruto squinted. "Wait, are they dancing?"

Sasuke pulled away slightly. "Want to get out of here?"

"Yup."

They turned around, ready to leave. Things were really confusing, and Naruto had no idea what the hell had just happened, but…he was happy. Sasuke had kissed him, and it'd felt great, and he really, really wanted to go somewhere and talk about this, and then maybe do a little less talking, and a little more of…other stuff.

They never really got around to doing that, because the moment they'd turned around, Hiruzen was standing there, with Danzo peering over his shoulder, his expression thunderous.

Yeah, they probably wouldn't be getting out of here anytime soon.

…

"…So yeah. That's what happened."

Everyone stared.

"Probably wasn't the best time to do it but…I was making a grand gesture, right? Oh and I definitely didn't expect everyone to get up and start yelling like that…guess Sakura and Ino thought I was confessing to Gaara, how crazy is that? And then everyone else probably thought Sakura was trying to stop me telling Sasuke how I felt…" Naruto shrugged slightly.

"Aww," Anko said. "It's so cute that it's making me sick."

"It is pretty sweet," Kurenai said, after a brief moment. "You never did anything like that for me." She narrowed her eyes at Asuma, who shrugged awkwardly.

Hiruzen rubbed his hands over his face, and let out an exhausted sigh. "Boys — the next time you want to make an…announcement, remember that the Hall, in the middle of assembly, isn't the place to do it."

Danzo nodded his head furiously. "Yes! And using the speaker system like that — "

"Oh, that was me," Gai interjected. "Quite a youthful idea, wasn't it?"

Danzo spluttered.

Hiruzen's hands dropped to his lap, and he let out another exhausted sigh. "Right then. You could've just stuck with the last part of that story."

Sasuke shrugged slightly. "I'm…glad I got to hear the whole thing."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah."

The two of them stared at each other. Sasuke glanced away first, but Naruto could see a slight smile playing a the edges of his lips, despite his evident embarrassment. His own grin widened, and his desire to get out of here, so they could finally be on their own, was suddenly intensified.

Hiruzen. "Don't do it again."

There was a pause.

"Um…and…?"

"…Detention, tomorrow."

Sasuke blinked. "And that's it?"

Hiruzen nodded.

"What?!" Danzo looked incredulous. "You can't — there has to be more! Surely this is enough to expel them!"

Anzo snorted. "What are you serious? Expel them? For that? What have you been smoking?"

Danzo's head snapped towards her, his eyes wide with rage. "Why are you all still here?!"

"Entertainment."

"Hiruzen!"

"Boys, you can go now," Hiruzen said. "But I mean it — next time, find somewhere else to do it."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks Jiji!"

He reached down and tugged on Sasuke's hand. Sasuke glanced at it, and then slid his fingers through Naruto's.

"We should go," he said, quietly. "And, uh…talk."

Naruto nodded quickly, grinning. "Yeah obviously. We've got a lot to talk about. And also, what the hell, teme? You punched me!"

"You punched me first!"

Hiruzen coughed loudly.

The two paused and then shot him equally sheepish glances. They then got up and walked out of the room, still close to each other.

"So yeah. Let's go talk," Sasuke said, and Naruto nodded. "…Although I think we got most of it out of the way in there, didn't we?"

Naruto grinned slightly. It was still crazy to think that Sasuke actually liked him. That all those things he'd done to win Sasuke over…Sasuke had been trying just as hard. And now, after all of that, just when Naruto thought he'd lost his chance for good…here they were. Together. And Sakura wasn't going to kill him, so that was definitely a bonus.

Although he was definitely getting him back for punching him. There was no way Sasuke was getting away with that (even if Naruto had technically punched first).

He spared him another glance, and flushed slightly when he saw Sasuke looking at him. Sasuke quickly averted his gaze, and Naruto grinned.

That could come later. Right now, there were way more important things to focus on.

…

AN:

IT'S FINALLY DONE! Man, this chapter took me ages to finish. But I've FINALLY got it done, and I'm so glad :) Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and tell me what you think!