I know, I know, I'm horrible for not updating An Exquisite Rendezvous, but I've really been in a slump for that and I'm hardly able to write a page. In the meantime, I wanted to write something else just to get back in the habit of writing and thus, this came about.

It's completely pre-written and needs only to be published. It's not very long, 3-4 chapters depending on how and where I cut it. However, it WILL have a sequel because there are a lot of loose ends that need addressing that I couldn't fit in here.

I really, really hope you guys like this, it's my first time doing a muggle!AU and doing a wolfstar so I'm nervous :")

Reviews keep me going, so they're always appreciated. Feel free to leave constructive criticism.

(Also, I know I'm not very creative with titles/summaries so please forgive those pitiful attempts)

And, me being the idiot that I am, didn't realize ffn doesn't have the strikethrough option so in the first portion, the '/' signifies what a strikethrough will. Gods, I feel stupid now.

Roommate /needed/ wanted.

Fully furnished room and equipped kitchen.

Cheap rent.

Text the number below for more details.

/Don't bother if you're a female and/or over the age of twenty-five./

Remus cocked his head at the flyer that was haphazardly stuck to the library window. He was in desperate need of decent, affordable housing and this sounded like what he had envisioned but…he wasn't too sure. He read it once again, trying to figure out why he was hesitating. Cheap rent, though that was subjective, and fully furnished lodgings was something that he wasn't holding out on. And yet, right in front of him was the perfect opportunity.

"REMUS!" A voice shouted from inside the library, making him jump in surprise.

"MARLENE! This is a library, goddammit," Another voice followed the first one. This one older, crankier and distinctly male.

Remus grinned as a sheepish looking Marlene McKinnon walked out of the library, dressed in black slacks and one of her band t shirts. She mouthed 'what an ass' with a finger cocked in the direction of the reception, making Remus shake his head in fond exasperation.

Marlene McKinnon was the type of woman who looked like she was made for the high life, working in jazz bars and touring with rock bands. She was crazy, exhilarating and completely breathtaking. She wasn't the type you would see working in a quiet library in a small town where nothing usually ever happened.

She was also extremely feminine for Remus' taste, so whatever could have probably happened did not, much to her constant regret.

"Hey, Marls," Remus greeted in his usual low baritone. Marlene bounded up to him, kissing him deeply on the cheek.

"Remus, love, it's been entirely too long since you've been to see poor 'ol me," Marlene playfully scolded a lightly blushing Remus.

"Ah, Marls, you know how it is now, what with me shifting out of the dorms. Between uni and house hunting, I don't think I remember the last time I took a dump."

"Remuuuuuus," Marlene started sternly, arms crossed over her chest.

"I know, I know," Remus immediately replied, hands raised in a placating manner. "It's just stressing me out, you know? I promise I'm not doing it on purpose. As soon as I find a place, I'll take extra care of myself and even see you every other day."

Marlene just looked at him with a raised eyebrow causing Remus to hastily amend his words. "Fine, every day."

The purple haired girl shot him a triumphant look before hooking her arm around his and resting her head on his shoulder. "You know how I worry about you, Remus. You can't blame me, especially when you act like this."

Remus sighed but rested his head on hers. "I know, and I appreciate you for it. But, I can't help some things and this is one of them."

"You know I would take you in in a heartbeat if my step-dad wasn't such a bastard right? Hell, I would smuggle you into my room if I didn't think he was a creep who goes through it every day," Though her voice was muffled, her irritation at the situation was not. Remus' heart warmed at her words, knowing that she was being completely sincere and would genuinely offer him a place to stay if she could.

"It's okay, this isn't your fault," Remus tried to console her, knowing this was a weird role reversal and it should be the opposite.

"You're right," she growled. "It's that fucker Severus Snape's fault. Who even let him into the uni?"

"Hey now, you know it's no-" Remus tried to defend Snape, who quite honestly, did not deserve to be defended after what he had done(but that was just Remus) but was cut off quite viciously by Marlene.

"Don't. You. Dare," She enunciated through gritted teeth. "You know he was a complete bastard to you and you can't deny it. The guy framed you for illegal possession of drugs and got you kicked out of the dorms, for Christ's sake, Remus. You're lucky the uni didn't wash their hands off you after what he did."

Remus smartly stayed quiet as she ranted, sensing that this was a long time coming and there was nothing he could to stop her because it would only result in increasing her ire.

"As if his daily doses of torment wasn't enough, he fucked you up in the worst way possible. And don't even get me started on that disgusting Dean of yours, whatshisname-Dumbfucklore?- 'Dumbledore, Remus interrupted only to be waved off by Marlene'- How many times is he gonna cover up for Snape's snotty arse? He's gonna keep bullying kids and be protected by the bearded goat and no one can do a bloody thing about it." Marlene finished with a violent huff, breathing deeply at the end of her long winded rant.

Remus knew he should be more affected by her words, especially the way she spoke about Professor Dumbledore, but he couldn't quite bring himself to disagree with her. In his first year, he had looked up to Professor Dumbledore with stars in his eyes because he was the one who had allowed him a place in the school despite his weak financial status. If not for him, Remus could very well have been homeless and dying on the streets. And yet, the more he got to know about him, the more conflicted he became. His actions directly contradicted the great words Remus had heard about this revolutionary man who had taken over the University in a whirlwind and helped many students throughout their life.

"Anyway," Marlene took a deep breath. "there's an ad right there, and from where I stand it looks pretty decent. Perfect, actually. So why aren't you 'hitting him up' right away?"

Remus blinked at the sudden change of topic and only when Marlene pointed at the flyer he was looking at just ten minutes prior did he understand what she was talking about.

"Ah, that," he mumbled. Marlene's practiced eyebrow raised slowly again at his unusual hesitance.

"It's not that I don't want that place, it's just that ad looks really fucking shady," Remus clarified, hoping she would be able to see what he was talking about and he wouldn't look like a paranoid idiot.

Alas, luck was not on his side because Marlene just gave him a deadpan look that told him exactly what she was thinking.

Instead of speaking, however, she whipped her phone out and glancing up at the flyer, typed out a text and sent it before Remus could so much as utter a protest.

"There," she grinned triumphantly. "Now we just have to wait for a time to look around and you'll be situated in a perfectly decent place in no time.

And again, before Remus could protest, she wrapped her hand around his and dragged him off to the coffee shop on the corner, prattling on about their new vanilla coffee that was to absolutely die for. Remus could only sigh in resignation as he allowed himself to be pulled by the petite girl.

"You need to get laid," James Potter deadpanned, looking pointedly at Sirius Black who was laying on the sofa with his head hanging upside down.

Sirius slowly raised his head sideways to look at the bespectacled man who was currently rifling inside the movie cabinet- Sirius' movie cabinet- looking for something to watch.

"Are you for real?" he drawled incredulously.

"What?" James demanded, hands clutching The Shawshank Redemption. "I'm just offering a perfectly reasonable solution for your daily baseless whining."

"You're in my house, looking at my movie collection, eating my food and then have the audacity to call me a baseless whiner?" Sirius scoffed in disbelief. "I don't believe you."

James grinned, not ashamed in the slightest. "You know it's true, Pads, can't deny it. Ever since Pettigrew cheated on you, you've been moping around."

Sirius scowled at his best mate's words. "What Paige felt the need to do, it did not and does not affect me alright?"

James just gave him a knowing look before walking into the kitchen to check on the popcorn.

Sirius looked after him for a few seconds before dropping his head back down with a long suffering sigh. James was right, he couldn't deny what he said and he couldn't deny that Paige's actions still affected him. Her golden brown hair, light brown eyes, and tinkling laugh still haunted his dreams. Everywhere he turned in this dratted town he could see reminders of their two-year relationship. Even his own apartment felt alien to him now. Every single nook and cranny held memories of her and it drove him crazy.

"You're right," he reluctantly admitted when James walked back in with his arms full of snacks; popcorn, nachos and cotton candy.

Instead of looking smug as he usually would, James just nodded at him, probably knowing that it took a lot for Sirius to admit that.

"So what do you want me to do now?" he asked.

"Why, get a roommate of course!" James exclaimed. "I thought that was obvious."

Sirius' stared at him incredulously for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening.

James rolled his eyes at the other man. "Stop looking at me like that, Padfoot."

"You want me to put out an ad for a roommate who will unknowingly help me get laid because I'm pretty sure 'WANT SEX' would not go over well on it," Sirius deadpanned.

James sheepishly rubbed his neck. "It sounds worse when you put it like that."

"That's because it is, Prongs. It is that bad!" Sirius scowled.

"Alright, alright. Let me write the advertisement out, and I promise it won't have anything related to sex or needing to get laid or anything of the sort," James tried to negotiate but Sirius wasn't having any of it.

"No."

"Pads-"

"Prongs, I said no."

"But if you jus-"

"Nope."

"I have this great idea-"

"Not happening."

"Fine," James pouted. "You can write it."

Sirius grinned triumphantly at his small victory and grabbed a pen and paper off the coffee table next to him to write the advertisement out.

Fifteen minutes later, he had his advert written and ready. Just as he was getting up to go and get it printed into fliers, however, James snatched it out of his hand and announced that he was going to make some corrections to it.

As Sirius watched him ponder over a scrap of paper that had, at most, five lines written on it, he could do little more than shake his head in resignation, knowing he couldn't do anything until James was done.

The next day, the created masterpiece was a result of violent haggling at the photocopier that ended up with Sirius having to literally scratch out a couple lines that should never have been on an advertisement for a roommate. Of course, the guy working there being the horribly overworked-and-underpaid college student he was, assumed the scratches to be a part of the final work and printed it out just like that.

Sirius had an internal scream session when he saw the hundred fliers and seeing the triumphant, gloating smirk on James' face did not help.

"Fuck off." Sometimes he felt that certain gestures conveyed much more than mere words ever could, frankly speaking.

Did I just turn Peter into Paige? Yes, yes I did. I'm not even sorry about it, I wanted Sirius to be bi and who better to cheat on him than Peter's Muggle alter ego?

Word count: 1903