Chapter 1.

When Your Best is Not Good Enough

Q entered Q-Branch in the afternoon on Friday, having just finished briefing with M. The boss had informed him that he was going to take a holiday the next day and travel to Scotland with his sister and her family for a bit of relaxation. He had said Q should do the same and relax a bit instead of working non-stop like he had been doing for months now.

"You haven't had a holiday for ages, my boy. We don't have any ongoing missions right now and we're not expecting difficulties. Don't come in tomorrow, rest a bit."

"But what for? What should I do then?"

"Well, what do you do for fun?" – Q was sure it was supposed to be a completely innocent question, but it sounded mocking to him anyway.

"I don't know…"

"Well, meet your friends, go out… enjoy yourself!" – The looked so genuinely happy about giving his favorite Quartermaster this brilliant idea that Q didn't have the heart to tell him about how he'd rather swallow a blade than stay home alone for a whole day, doing nothing.

So, now the twenty-four years old Quartermaster entered Q-Branch, thinking it would be a good idea to look for an occupation for tomorrow. Maybe with friends. He didn't really know if he actually had friends but he liked his colleagues well enough. Worth a try at any rate…

He found his employees ('minions', as everyone affectionately liked to call them) bent over one of the desks, all together, as if plotting something. He could hear a lot of giggling and happy exclamations. 'Super, they're carefree and not working… Now or never!' – He thought to himself as he approached them and cleared his throat to get their attention. They jumped as if stuck by a particularly vicious bee and guiltily looked at him.

"Sorry, boss, we were just planning our weekend."

"It's all right, Sirg. What are you going to do?"

"We've managed to secure tickets for our favorite team's match." – He said proudly, waving around said tickets with glee for Q to see.

"That sounds very interesting. How did you manage to get them?" – Maybe he could get one for himself and accompany them? Not that he had any clue about football but it didn't matter anyway. The company did.

"Oh, it was not easy! Not easy at all. Actually, these were the very last ones still available. They're completely sold out!"

"Are you sure?" – Just his luck…

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing. Have a good time, guys!" – He shrugged, pretending not to be disappointed at all.

"Thanks, boss!"

Q waved for them to continue forming their plans, as he entered his separate office. The one that was private. Away from others. 'The perks of being the leader', Moneypenny had once said. Yeah, of course. Because being separated is such an advantage…

But this thought also gave him an idea. Eve! They were friends, he was sure. She sometimes came to his office to visit him, and always teased him about one thing or another. She also always 'threatened' to have Double-Os manhandle him and take him out to eat, because he – according to her – was 'completely unable to properly care for himself, just like a toddler'. That was it then!

He quickly finished for the day, packed his things and ran to seek out Moneypenny. He found her heading towards the exit; high heels clicking happily on the floor.

"Hi, Eve! What's up?" – He greeted her cheerfully.

"Q! Are my eyes playing tricks on me or are you actually leaving HQ before midnight for once?"

"I am leaving! Cool, isn't it? And guess what: M gave me a free day for tomorrow!"

"No!?" – She said in a fake shocked voice, clutching her hand to her chest as if fearing a heart attack. – "How are you going to survive it?"

"I don't know… Any suggestions?" – Please, take the hint, Evie… Please!

"Maybe you could work from home?" – She said teasingly, winking at him.

Okay, well, that was not what he had wanted to hear… but she had only been joking… right?

"What do you do on your free days?" – He tried again.

"Well, for example, tomorrow we're going to visit Bob's parents in Oxford."

"Bob?"

"My boyfriend… You know, I've told you about him!"

"Oh, yeah… really, you have. Well, I hope you'll have a good time then."

"Thanks, Q. But really: what are you going to do? You're not really going to work, are you?" – She asked, this time in a more serious tone with a bit of concern mixed into it.

"Nah… I'll think of something. Don't worry about me. I haven't had a day off for so long, I have a lot to make up for." – Like… what? He surely had things to do, didn't he…?

"It's good then. Have a nice day. Bye!" – And she was gone; no doubt already having forgotten all about her 'friend', and planning her wonderful day instead in her head.

'Just great…' – Luckily, he was good at hiding his disappointment. Or maybe, people just didn't care enough to notice.

Q stood in the gate totally lost, with no idea what he should do now. He didn't want to go home to the empty and cold apartment, as it was still early: only 5 PM. He had never left work that soon before.

Someone touched his shoulder from behind and he turned around with a startle only to find a grinning Tanner looking at him with sparkling eyes.

"Hey, easy, pal! What's wrong, did you see a ghost? You're standing here rooted to the spot as if something horrible had happened!"

"Oh, Bill… No… I'm finished for today and I'm free tomorrow. I'm just trying to decide what to do."

"Really? You're so lucky then!"

"Lucky? Why?"

"Well, because you don't have a wife and kids… you're free to do whatever you want. No expectations… I used to be that free…" – Yeah, that was one way to put it. Judging by how nostalgic Bill looked when talking about freedom, the Quartermaster suspected he should be thankful to still have it… Q knew the man had two small kids: a boy of seven and a girl of five. He thought they must be adorable. He liked kids a lot – not that he'd had much opportunities to actually meet some, mind you.

"You know, if you need a babysitter for them, you can just ask me anytime. I'd like to do it, it wouldn't be a problem."

"Thank you, buddy! But they're little menaces; I wouldn't like to burden you with them."

Q knew that meant in reality: 'I don't trust you enough with my kids.' He thought he should have known it. It wasn't as if Bill and him had been best friends or anything.

"Yeah, all right. Good evening then, Bill." – He said and exited the building, walking towards the subway station.

As he was about to descend the stairs to the metro, he heard two excited voices calling to him.

He looked up just as 006 and 007 came running towards him, laughing and teasing each other all the way. Now what could these crazy agents want? It usually didn't mean anything good for him when these two men were that happy.

"Hey, Q: we were making a bet with Alec. Help us, please: which one of us do you think is going to pick up more girls this weekend?"

"Before you say anything, Q: the only right answer is ME of course!" – Warned Alec and playfully patted the smaller man's back, causing Q to nearly fall headfirst to the pavement from the force of it. Trevelyan grabbed him by his cardigan to pull him upright with an apologetic smile. – "Oh, sorry, mate. I always forget how light you are."

"Well, I think you both have equal chances." – Said the younger man, rubbing his shoulder in pain, deciding to ignore the comment about his weight. – "Where would you like to go try it?" – He inquired.

"Very diplomatic! James, did you hear this answer? This man could be a politician!"

"I did. And we were thinking of 'The Red Light'." – It was one of the most popular clubs in London. Q had never been there of course. He had never been anywhere.

"It sounds interesting. Maybe I should check it out some day as well." – He tried, waiting for their reactions.

"You!?" – They both exclaimed with wide eyes.

"But Q, it's for… ahm… you know…" – Alec trailed off and looked towards Bond for help.

"It's for… well… it's not for you!" – James concluded.

"Why not?"

"Because you're small and skinny and weak… They'd trample you to death in two minutes!" – Came the simple explanation as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and Q were stupid not to have thought of it.

"I understand. Well, thanks for the warning. You two have a good time then."

Suddenly the solitude in his own apartment didn't sound so bad anymore so he all but fled home without a backward glance.

J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B

Q sat on his bed, legs drawn up, arms folded around his knees and head resting on them; staring into the infinite nothingness of the dark room.

For lack of better idea, he had gone to bed a quarter of an hour ago but then, after turning around and suffering for long minutes, he'd had to begrudgingly admit he wasn't tired enough to sleep just yet. It was only 8:10 PM after all. But what should he do then?

He had already read all his books at least three times, even though – thanks to his eidetic memory – he knew all of them by heart after the first time. He had watched every movie he could think of; some of them hadn't even come out in the cinemas yet. He wasn't in mood to play solitaire anymore because it was such an easy game; he always completed it in less than two minutes. He sometimes even played chess against the computer but he beat it every time almost right away.

All in all: it was quite boring being a genius. A genius without friends and family…

He used to like writing on different forums online, talking to people who didn't know anything about him, but when he had started to work for MI6 he had lost all his 'friends' (if you could call them that) because he had usually not been able to answer them for days. Now when he had tried to get in touch with them again, neither of them had answered. He supposed he deserved the cold shoulder so he couldn't bring himself to be angry with them. It wouldn't help his situation anyway.

He was alone. Completely and utterly lonely.

Oh, how he wished for friends he could go to museums, theaters and cinemas with! With whom he could go out for drinks, restaurants, excursions… They could talk about books and hobbies and go to places. They would care about each other and he'd know he mattered to someone. He didn't have a family; hadn't had for ages and he had made peace with the fact. But was it some kind of punishment he shouldn't have friends either?

In the beginning, he had still hoped he could find people in MI6 who were interested in him. It seemed logical to befriend those he spent most of his time with anyway. At least he wouldn't have to keep secrets from them. So, he had tried so hard! Not just today: ever since he had been there.

He had scheduled his first meeting with Bond in the National Gallery in hopes that maybe they could find a common ground and hit off with a good start. He had heard the agent liked art. But it had backfired spectacularly, as the man had wanted to leave as soon as the 'stranger' had taken a seat next to him. Even after he had introduced himself, 007 had done nothing but tease him mercilessly about his age and looks. Furthermore, he had asked for help, had Q running to Austria to help him (even though he hated flying with a passion!), and what had he gotten in return? Abandonment to his fate in a foreign country with criminals wanting to capture him, then being abandoned after everything they had gone through, having to explain a stellar-prized car's absence to his boss on his own.

At the end of the day, Bond – and everyone else for that matter – never seem to be able to run quick enough away from him, as soon as their task is done with. Needless to say that, by now, all his expectations had been shattered to thousand miniature pieces. They seemed to like him good enough when it was about work but nobody wanted to have to do anything with him outside of it. What a mess!

He looked at the clock: only five minutes later than before. At this rate, he'd die of boredom before he'd have to report back to work on Sunday.

Suddenly, he had a brilliant idea: who said he couldn't go out to look for company among strangers? Not just Double-Os were allowed to go to clubs after all, right!? Okay, he wouldn't go to The Red Light, as he really didn't wish to meet people who had rejected his attempts at joining them in the first place, but there were other places in London he could go to. He just had to look them up in the internet. Really: how hard could it be to find company in a city with a population of over 8 million!?

After ten minutes of searching, he had decided on a disco that was near enough to his home that he could walk there. It was just perfect!