Harry Potter and Harry Potters

Disclaimer: I'm fairly sure I don't own Star Wars.

Chapter 2

"Fred and George Weasley!" they heard a high pitched scream and turned around to see an old witch, dressed in green robes.

"Brother…" started one of the infamous ginger twins.

"I think we fucked up, brother," said the other twin.

"How could you think that making Hagrid look like The Dark Lord was a good idea?" the witch, apparently professor McGonagall, asked them furiously.

"Before we start The Sorting Ceremony, I'd like to say a few words," said Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, when they finally made it into The Great Hall.

"One of our future students, Ronald Weasley, unfortunately died when you entered the platform. The reason of his tragic death was an heart attack. He died because of a prank made by his brothers, so I regret to inform you, but I have to take 5 points from Gryffindor," he said sadly. "And now, going back on track, The Sorting Hat's song!" he said happily, and the mood changed back to normal.

The Sorting Hat started to sing.

"Welcome to my school,

And come closer fool,

They call me Sorting Hat,

You dumb, spoiled brat.

I can see what's in your head

I can see your ass is scared

But don't worry give me head

And your ass could be spared.

The House system is fairly easy

Like your mother if I may

But don't think that I am cheesy

Knew your father he was gay.

Is Gryffindor where you belong,

Where the brave but stupid are

If your dick is not too long

You can get inside my car.

Maybe Hufflepuff is what you seek,

Cause you suck at everything

You see danger and you squeak

Bow before me I'm your king.

You might end up in Ravenclaw,

Where brains are far too big

Intelligence is their law

I cannot suck my own dick.

Or maybe Slytherin is your house,

Where ambitious faggots are

Their cunning is pathetic

And lack of brain is genetic.

So put me on, don't be afraid,

You can be my sexy maid

But I cannot give you grades

Cedric dies in the maze!"

"Hmm… nice mind, a lot of courage, quite a bit of loyalty… but most importantly… nice shoes, Harry, where'd you get them?" asked the voice in his head.

"Umm… from a shop, I guess…" responded Harry, not sure where this was going.

"Well, with those shoes… I think you won't have any problems in SLYTHERIN!"

"Wake up," Harry heard a gentle voice and opened his eyes.

"I made you breakfast. Eat something and take a shower, I need to get going for now," the man who looked almost exactly like Harry said, and left their hotel room. Harry was startled for a moment, then he remembered what happened last night.

"Damn it…" he said and started to eat his breakfast, while thinking furiously.

"Did I just sleep with a guy that looked almost like me?" he asked and sighed.

"Alright, I will just take a shower and leave. We won't meet again, and it will be fine."

"Oh, my lord, welcome!" said a tall man with long, almost white hair.

"Lucius. I need to blow off some steam. Let's go to the dueling room," The Dark Lord said, and went to the Malfoy's dueling room without looking back.

"My Lord, what happened, can I help you?" asked Lucius, quite panicked.

"It's not your business. Duel me, Lucius, I'm angry," he said and stood at the center of the small arena.

"Yes, my lord," Lucius responded and walked inside the dueling room.

"Let's begin, shall we?" asked Lord Potter dryly, and started to cast at the same moment.

"Crucio!" he snarled and Lucius Malfoy started to scream.

"What the hell are you doing in Slytherin, Potter?" asked him a boy, apparently one Draco Malfoy.

"I don't know, what are you doing?" replied Harry, a bit irritated.

"Umm…" Draco didn't quite know what to say, and a black boy sitting next to them snickered.

"I'm Blaise Zabini, Harry, you fucking roasted that nibba, you know that?" he said a bit too enthusiastically.

"What do you mean?" asked him Harry, more confused than irritated now.

"Nothing, homie, but if you ever make a mixtape be sure to let me listen to it. I think it would be fire!" Blaise said and began to eat his chicken.

"Now, if you are quite full, let me make an important announcement," the headmaster said when they finished eating. "This year, Hogwarts will have the pleasure of hosting the Triwizard Tournament!" he exclaimed happily and students began to whisper furiously.

"Let me introduce you to the delegation from Beauxbatons!" he said and the doors to The Great Hall opened, revealing a very tall woman and 20 beautiful french young witches."

"Damn…" said Blaise while he looked at the french witches.

"And now, let's welcome the delegation from Durmstrang!" the headmaster exclaimed and the doors opened again. The delegation from Durmstrang wasn't nearly as sexy as the one from Beauxbatons, so people didn't cheer quite as much.

"And now, we will choose a champion who will represent each school!" said Albus Dumbledore only a few minutes after the delegations arrived. He pulled out a mysterious artifact from his pocket and began the ceremony. "This artifact will choose the best students from each school, and the ones chosen will become this year's champions."

"Representing Beauxbatons… Harry Potter!" the headmaster said happily and the prettiest witch from that school walked up to stand alongside Dumbledore.

"Representing Durmstrang… Harry Potter!" he said, and a tall, muscular student stood up.

"And now, the moment we all have been waiting for. Representing Hogwarts… Harry Potter!"