Notes:

A possible endgame scenario. Short chapter because I'm dying to send this first bit out.

Thank you to heatherpeters for the beta.

There will be more of the cat-story once I'm done with this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stretched as far as the eye could see, were miles and miles of clean soft white sand on a deserted beach. The turquoise and green of the ocean was illuminated by blazing sunshine, the warm crystal-clear water extended to eternity. Coconut and palm trees bent close to the water's edge.

A large luxury self-sufficient turnkey beach house stood stately, built and anchored out in the middle of a sparkling blue reef, run by its own desalination well and was operated by a solar and wind farm.

Raymond Reddington dozed as he reclined in a hammock slung in the shade of two palm trees. He wore khaki shorts, a white short-sleeved shirt, and a broad-brimmed straw hat. The book he'd been reading had slipped into his lap.

The ocean breeze was cool and refreshing as he listened to the waves gently slapping the shore.

All before him appeared and felt like paradise. But was it?

The private 96-acre island off the coast of Brunei had been his way out.

After Mr. Kaplan's death, nothing had been the same. His criminal empire was shattered, his bank accounts cleared out, and most of his international business ties were cut against his will. Everything he had fabricated so hard for decades had collapsed or was gone.

His efforts to mend the damage had been only half-hearted when reconnecting with former trusted associates, proving to be difficult, and finding new ones with his disrupted reputation seemed impossible. He couldn't gain back his ground, thereby making his life without his protective network even more dangerous than before.

He'd felt like an old tired battleship that had been struck and was listing to the side. But instead of getting the necessary repairs and upgrades, he felt like decommissioning, especially after the relationship with Elizabeth had taken an unexpected turn as well.

She'd believed him to be her father and he was forced to let her think that to disguise and protect his core secret.

He'd rejected her attempts to grow closer. He'd longed for more closeness after the strain her faked death had put upon them, instead, he'd kept her at arm's length to stop her from uniting as a family and it had hurt them both.

But as fate would have it, the truth ultimately emerged in time. His true identity was revealed by human bones in an old suitcase. Raymond Reddington was an imposter and the remains proved that he was not Elizabeth's father.

All his knightly vows, all his heroic efforts, and all his noble intentions hadn't paid off and in the end and he was unable to save her from the painful truth.

The venomous words she'd uttered afterwards, combined with the pain and desperation in her eyes, proved to be his fault, and that knowledge stung.

He knew he'd brought all this on himself. He should have never let things get to this point. All he ever wanted, all he'd promised, especially to preserve, and protect, were the ultimate failure.

The only woman he'd ever truly loved - and he'd done nothing but hurt her.

They could not stay in the same space anymore without causing each other pain and sadness.

So, it only had made sense for him to leave. Leave for good.

He had convinced himself that Elizabeth and everyone else would be better off without him in their lives. He'd sold his flat in Bethesda and a small variety of art for some cash. He torched his Mercedes, filled with his designer suits, ties, shoes and fedoras, thereby symbolically abandoning his previous existence.

He urged Dembe to open his parting box for goodbye.

In the end, he took the travel vouchers, security codes, boat keys, and ownership papers for the beach house and left Washington D.C. with spare belongings that filled just two suitcases. He took nothing else, not even a photograph of her.

That was eight weeks ago.

#######

Raymond arrived on the island and opened the front door to the beach house with a key that fit into an antique lock.

He was greeted by a full-time wait staff, grounds crew, security team, and a property manager.

Their salaries would be taken care of by a very healthy trust fund, for perpetuity.

The staff would loyally serve and the guards would forever defend him against all comers, turning the island into his very own personal stronghold.

They treated him wonderfully, attended to all his needs which included cleaning, laundry and food services. To him, it was as if he resided in a luxury vacation hotel.

In the first few days, Red simply relaxed, slept deeply and dreamlessly, proof of how utterly exhausted he really was.

He felt safe and secure on the island, more than he'd been in years, yet he found no peace. He knew he'd eventually adapt to the solitude and loneliness. He'd done it before, years ago, after he'd lost his family; he'd do it again, in time.

Red tried to distract himself, establishing a strict routine with outdoor exercises. During the day, he'd gone swimming or diving in the ocean, discovering underwater caves. He continuously sailed out to an offshore coral reef for bathing and snorkeling.

He also went for long walks, exploring the island from end to end, enjoying the scenic beauty, not to mention the lulling sounds of nature.

The acquired physical strength and fitness from his activities vitalized him. If only his mental state would improve as much.

He tried to forget, but melancholy thoughts and regrets of his past haunted him constantly. And keeping his thoughts from her proved to be the most difficult.

Each evening he sat on a high cliff, his feet dangling over the edge, while he watched the sunset cast brilliant colors across the endless ocean.

After dinner, he usually retired to the beachside deck at the house, overlooking the sea, stretched out on a lounge chair to enjoy a drink.

The moon cast lovely impressions on the water and he wished to spend these moments with someone special, a thought he instantly removed from his mind. There was no one special anymore and he knew that very well.

With the island located in the northern hemisphere he allowed himself to gaze upon Polaris, the bright star in a cloudless night sky. He often wondered if she sometimes looked up to the sky and remembered.

With a fierceness he'd never known, Red's heart ached: He missed her desperately. Could he manage to live his life without the woman he loved and be alone forever?

It was better this way, he assured himself. He could hope that this difficult time he spent missing her would pass over the years, that one day the image of Elizabeth would not result in his first thought when he awoke, and the last when he went to sleep.

######

He swayed back and forth on the hammock when he saw a movement from the corner of his eye. Startled, he rose and glanced towards the beach.

He watched as a little girl knelt by the water's edge and dug her small fingers into the warm sand. With an expression of wonder, she picked up a pretty shell, turned and held it out to him.

He caught his breath and everything in him stilled when he recognized her.

"Agnes!?"

TBC