Cold Moon, Bright Star

By bloodredrosez

March 28, 2020

A/N: We're finally at the moment you guys have all been waiting for, the reunion! But the story's not nearly over yet and it's hardly smooth sailing from here…

"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." – Tao Te Ching

Faith and Devotion

She had waited for so very long to hear her name from his lips that Chu Qiao thought she had imagined the whisper. This could be another one of her cruel nightmares where she found him—even found him still alive—only for Yuwen Yue to die a second time in her arms as a thousand apologies and pleas fell from her lips.

Numb all over, Chu Qiao put her still bleeding hand back on his stained white robe, half mesmerized by the melting ice and half drunk on the energy that seemed to be streaming into her from that small connection. What would happen when the energy stopped? Would her heart simply stop from the strain of trying to absorb all of it into her body?

Maybe someone would find them one day, their bodies frozen together, and they would find their place in history as a pair of legendary lovers. That was what they were, weren't they? Lovers? Even though the word had never been uttered even once, even though they never had a chance…

Chu Qiao kept her gaze pinned on her hand on his chest, too afraid to look at him. After all, the image of his blue lips and waxen, motionless features was already engrained into her memory. Instead, she watched as her fingers slowly curled, grasping tight at his robe. Now that the ice was melting, the sodden red of his clothing only called attention to his wounds and made them all the more gruesome. There was no denying that each one by itself was fatal. He had been stabbed and sliced, pierced through and through with arrows, then drowned and frozen. Asking him to survive so much—being angry that he could not—was ridiculous, wasn't it?

"Xing'er, listen to me."

Chu Qiao closed her eyes, swaying with a rush of disbelief. Only Yuwen Yue's ghost would be so presumptuous as to visit her only to order her around as if he were about to start a lesson. Or perhaps she had entered the spirit realm herself.

"Xing'er… Don't cry, everything is well."

How? she wanted to snap back. How could everything be well when he was gone? Warm fingers touched her cheek then and her eyes flew open, her breath catching on a gasp as she saw Yuwen Yue staring back at her from where he lay on the ground. His eyes were bright and he gazed at her with concern, as if completely unaware that just moments before he had been lifeless.

"You…" She barely managed that single word before her throat closed up and she was left staring back at him, speechless.

"Where are we?" he asked. He looked down at her hand still grasping the front of his robe. The sheer amount of blood soaking into the clothing alarmed him. "Are you hurt?"

He felt real and solid. But his wounds… Chu Qiao tore at his robe, pulling it apart and pushing the layers down to bare his shoulders and chest. Surprised, Yuwen Yue made no move to stop her. Though his clothing was wet, bloody, and torn, the skin beneath was whole, marred only by a variety of scars old and new. Some looked freshly healed, still an irritated red, but the lacerations were all clean and closed.

"Impossible," Chu Qiao said in shock. "I don't understand what happened."

"The last thing I remember is you in the water with me."

"I think they took you and brought you here. But I couldn't wake you." Her voice broke at what she couldn't bring herself to say.

"Xing'er, don't worry," Yuwen Yue tried to reassure her. "I am here now. I am well." But his calm words didn't hide his own awe. He clearly remembered how close to death he had been in the lake.

Chu Qiao heard him in a daze. She feverishly ran her hands all over his body, unable to believe that it was real. His chest rose and fell with each breath, exposed all the way to his waist, the defined muscles very much indicative of a healthy man in his prime. His body felt like a furnace, radiating heat that she could feel even without touching. As her fingertips trailed over his hot skin, however, he shivered and his breathing slowed.

His reflexes as fast as ever, Yuwen Yue caught her hand with his own as it wandered downward. When she tore her gaze from his body, their eyes met. He looked away quickly, a faint flush on his face. Her touch had left a trail of goosebumps across taut skin and Chu Qiao belated realized her fingers were probably as cold as ice.

Embarrassment warmed her cheeks but the heat was all too brief. In fact, she was starting to feel the intense cold. The channel of energy that had stretched between him and her had waned to nothing and their breaths came out in dense white puffs. The ice that had melted away from Yuwen Yue was starting to look frosty again as the water refroze on the lower half of his robe, and he was still half unclothed.

"Explanations can wait," Yuwen Yue said as he rose to his feet and pulled her up. "We need to find a way out of this place before we freeze."

His voice was composed, but despite the urgency of his words, he didn't let go of her hands. Yuwen Yue examined her from head to toe, his assessment of her no less worried than hers had been of him. Remembering the state of her body when she had first woken, Chu Qiao was glad that she had had an entire month to heal.

Just the thought of how she had spent those long, endless weeks believing he was dead suddenly brought fresh tears to her eyes. Chu Qiao blinked them away, hoping Yuwen Yue hadn't noticed, and silently thanked the heavens that he hadn't heard her resolve to die with him—though jumping into the waters of the Icy Lake after him was similar enough.

His fingers tightened on hers. "Come, follow me."

* O * O * O *

By the time they saw the distant light at the entrance to the caves, Chu Qiao's strength was entirely gone and they were in danger of losing fingers and toes to frostbite. A fighter of average skill would have frozen to death before ever finding a way out; fortunately, neither of them could ever be described that way. Chu Qiao could only muster up a dim spark of anger at the thought of the mysterious woman from the Feng Yun Order who had likely dumped her here. After all, the woman had probably also been the one to take Yuwen Yue from the Icy Lake.

They had saved every bit of their dwindling energy for the trek, so it passed in grim silence. It was probably better that way, since there were too many things that needed to be said between them… If they started, how would they stop? Instead, with their survival at stake, other matters could wait. Or at least that was what Chu Qiao told herself, although every time she laid her eyes on Yuwen Yue she could feel the prickle of tears—fear that he could disappear, that he could die again, mingling with relief that he was still there, for now.

She was hanging on by a thread in both mind and heart. Each step was heavier than the last and her head felt like it was filled with fuzzy cotton. It was hard to think, even harder to stay awake, and even though she knew these were all bad signs, there was nothing she could do. Her concentration was far too broken for her to be able to activate the Wind and Cloud Decree again.

Many, many years ago, she had been trapped in another cave with Yuwen Yue, as Master Zuo Baocang tried to draw out her memories and put her on the murky path to finding out the truth about the Wind and Cloud Decree. She remembered her concern at that time when Yuwen Yue had fallen into a healing coma. At that time they were still master and slave, teacher and student, and both entangled in all kinds of schemes and espionage. Yet somehow those days had been so simple compared to the complicated mess they were in now.

Chu Qiao had never been one to give up, but everyone had a breaking point and she had recently reached hers. Yan Xun had insidiously worn her down until even her belief in the innate justice of the world, something that hadn't wavered even through all that she had suffered and experienced, seemed like a childish dream.

In the very end, Yuwen Yue half pulled, half carried her out into the light. Chu Qiao partially closed her eyes against the glare of sunlight on snow. The outside world was still in the last days of winter and the frost on the ground had not yet thawed, though here and there were the first few green signs of spring. Just outside of the cave, she stumbled to her knees in relief and pulled Yuwen Yue down next to her, both of them taking heavy breaths of the milder air.

Their moment's respite was interrupted by the sound of hoof beats. Three riders dismounted before them and the leader strode forward, drawing her sword. It was woman from the Feng Yun Order and her two assistants; it was obvious they had been waiting for them to come out. They were still masked, but Chu Qiao could tell that it was the same three people who had kidnapped her from Xiao Yu.

"Step away from her," the woman ordered, the tip of her sword pointed at Yuwen Yue. He stared back at her, unmoved by her threat.

Chu Qiao was acutely aware that they were both unarmed. She had seen this woman fight Xiao Yu and knew that even had she had been at full strength with the Broken Rainbow sword in hand, the assassin would still be a formidable opponent. And while Yuwen Yue's hand to hand combat skills were the best she had ever seen, he had just come back from death…

"You said before that you were loyal to my mother," she said, trying to buy some time to decide on what to do. She kept her voice neutral, slightly questioning but not accusing, despite her rising anger from the sight of Yuwen Yue being threatened. "But I don't remember you."

"We know about your memory loss," the woman replied. "I served Lady Luo He for over ten years alongside with my sister. She was known as the Viper. You might know that she died trying to rescue your mother. We were your guardians."

Wu Daoya had indeed told her about the Viper and Chu Qiao could vaguely recall how the woman had looked from the fragmented memories of the night she killed Yuwen Hao and fell into the river. But since this woman had a black cloth mask covering half her features, she couldn't verify any resemblance. It was easy to make claims involving a dead woman.

"Show your face then. Who are you and what do you want with me?"

The assassin obligingly pulled her mask down, revealing sharp, thin features that paired naturally with her narrow black eyes. "I am Xia Fei, also known as the Vixen. Since your mother's death, I have led the Feng Yun Order. We have been searching for you for a very long time."

Despite the woman's lofty words, Chu Qiao wondered how many members of the Order were even left. There was no guarantee it hadn't split into factions, either, which happened frequently in the jianghu. No trust among thieves, as the saying went—and even less among assassins.

"If you mean me no harm, why did you put me in the cave?"

"I had to prove that you are who we think you are," Xia Fei said simply. "You will never be able to lead the Order unless there is indisputable evidence of your identity."

Yuwen Yue had been following the entire exchange while gathering his strength and now he stood up, pulling Chu Qiao up with him, one arm still circled protectively around her waist. "So you tested her to see whether she held the Wind and Cloud Decree. You wanted to see if she could use it—if she could heal me."

Xia Fei nodded in acknowledgment. "Tattoos can be fake, no matter how detailed. Even the higher levels of martial arts skill can be feigned. But only someone with mastery over the kungfu of ice could have awakened someone so close to the brink of death."

"So now you know who I am," said Chu Qiao. "Yet you stand there and threaten us. What do you want with me?

"I am here to take you back to where you belong," said Xia Fei. "I want you to claim your birthright. Your mother raised you to break kingdoms and shape history. He has no part in that."

This was the underlying theme in the few memories that Chu Qiao had recovered—this level of faith and devotion, verging on worship, which her mother had demanded from her disciples. Of course, every sect required loyalty and obedience or it would not exist for long in the chaotic world of the jianghu, but the Feng Yun Order had taken it to extremes. It was love, of a sort. It was also close to madness. What she remembered of her own relationship with her mother was brutal, something she would not wish on any child.

Chu Qiao looked at Yuwen Yue. His expression was inscrutable but she could tell that he was willing for her to take the lead, trusting her judgment. The truth was, they were stranded, without weapons, supplies, or horses, and they couldn't be sure which territory they were in or even the direction of the nearest town.

"He goes wherever I go," warned Chu Qiao. "If you want me to cooperate, you will not threaten him."

One of the men snorted in disgust and Xia Fei silenced him with a look, but she was unable to keep the faint sneer from her own voice. "I had heard rumors… We were sure that they were false, another way to cast doubt on Yan Xun's claim to legitimacy. How could his woman be involved with a high-ranking official of the Wei—a general? Not just any general, but the scion of the Yuwen family. Does he even know the truth about his father's death?"

Without looking at Yuwen Yue, Chu Qiao answered her, as cold and haughty as an empress. "There is nothing in my past that I regret. My judgment alone is what matters when it comes to any question about my relationships and conflicts with the Yuwen family. And one day soon I will take revenge on my mother's real murderers."

"He's a traitor to the state. His family has declared him dead, saving what face they can over his failures against Yan Xun. You cannot trust such a man."

Yuwen Yue may have flinched at the news, but Chu Qiao paid him no mind. "And surely I am a traitor to my own side now, for trying to save him. What reward has Yan Xun put on my head, I wonder?"

The impasse might have continued if not for the sudden shriek of a hunting falcon. The man to the right of Xia Fei sheathed his sword and threw up a leather-covered fist. A sleek besra sparrowhawk landed on his arm, a capsule tied to its leg. They all watched in silence as he retrieved the message and read it.

"Yan Xun approaches you. Still searching for the woman." He looked at Xia Fei. "We must go, his soldiers will be here soon."

A feeling of sickness spread throughout Chu Qiao as she heard the succinct message. Even after everything he had done, Yan Xun still believed that he could rescue her? Or was it capture her?

"It's time to make your choice," she told Xia Fei. "Take us both, or we will see who will be left here to greet Yan Xun when he comes with his men."

Wordlessly, Xia Fei gestured for her men to double up, leaving one mount riderless. The extra weight would be hard on the horses, but they would manage for a while. The assassins also withdrew an extra robe from their packs—a plain thing, all black—and Yuwen Yue changed. They still took his old clothing and packed it up, unwilling to leave anything behind for Yan Xun's scouts to find.

Everything was done quickly and quietly, with little fuss. Still, Chu Qiao was relieved that Xia Fei did not waste any more time trying to separate them. They all knew that the balance of power in their temporary alliance was a delicate thing.

Xia Fei led the way once they were all ready, Chu Qiao positioned in front of Yuwen Yue. Without her armor and without her sword, she was just a small and slender woman. As for Yuwen Yue, she knew better now than to believe that he could never be defeated. The unexpected feeling of vulnerability made her shiver. He grasped her closer to him in response.

"Are you all right?" she asked him, pitching her voice for his ears only. "Yuwen Yue, I…" I thought you were dead, she wanted to say, only her throat closed up and the words died in her mouth. I thought I had lost you forever.

"Don't worry," he answered. The warmth in his body seeped into her, his words seeming to take on the slow cadence of his heartbeat. "Rest for now, Xing'er. We will find a way out of all this soon enough."

He was still here. She had been given a second chance, even after everything. Chu Qiao swallowed down the salty heaviness of her tears and rested her head back against his shoulder, trying to calm the painful chaos in her chest.

* O * O * O *

It had been three days since Xing'er had found him. Three days since Xia Fei had brought them to this abandoned temple, which served as the secret headquarters of the remaining members of the Feng Yun Order. It had been deserted for over a decade, after an outbreak of plague that had killed all the monks. The god-fearing and superstitious locals were afraid to venture back into the temple and the Feng Yun Order had taken over this remote location, no doubt spurring more stories of ghosts and killers. While the entire temple was dilapidated, there were plenty of empty rooms and the living quarters in use by the assassins were clean.

It had also been three days since they had last spoken to each other directly, which was a situation that Yuwen Yue found increasingly unbearable. But as soon as they had arrived at the temple, after riding for a full day, Xing'er had fainted from the overexertion. Whatever she had done to channel the power of the Wind and Cloud Decree had put her into a deep sleep.

Yuwen Yue supposed it was a small price to pay for the miracle of saving his life. Falling into a coma, after the feat of reviving him from a frozen state and then healing him, could only be considered normal. One of the texts in the archives of the Eyes of God had hinted at a rumor that some sect in Yanbei possessed such power, but he had always dismissed it as a fantasy. Now that he knew where the stories had originated from, he wished he had the rest of the scroll so that he could pore over the effects and consequences of using such a skill. As the hours and then days had passed, all while Yuwen Yue pointedly refused any and all interaction with the assassins, he worried that she wouldn't wake at all.

Yuwen Yue had debated whether to try to get more information out of Xia Fei, but even at his most frustrated, he was fully aware that it would be impossible to force the Vixen to divulge the secrets of the Wind and Cloud Decree. But without knowing what to expect, he couldn't risk taking Xing'er away. Why was it that when it came to the woman he loved, he was always reduced to such helplessness?

Then, on the third morning, she finally woke—only to be immediately whisked away by Xia Fei's attendants before he even thought to stop them. Xing'er was taken and checked for injuries, bathed, clothed, and then fed. It was a whirlwind sequence that Yuwen Yue could hardly object to or interfere with, though he had to fight his instinct to never let her out of his sight again. It wasn't as if he could demand to stay by her side while they helped her undress, but he loathed the feeling that they were proving a point: that they had more right to see to her wellbeing than he did.

The assassins of the Feng Yun Order barely tolerated him, just as he barely tolerated them, with the only common element being their dedication to Chu Qiao. Despite the suspicion and mistrust on both sides, they would wait to see what she decided. As a result, they left him alone even as he paced outside of her room, waiting for her to come out.

Xia Fei's arrival made him change his plans.

"Lady Vixen," the two guards at the door chorused. Unveiled, her features truly reminded him a fox, cunning and sly. An older fox, Yuwen Yue thought, seeing the silver in her hair, and all the more dangerous because of her age. He came to a halt before her but she tried to sweep past him as the guards opened the door. Instead, Yuwen Yue shouldered his way past her, having had enough.

"Xing'er?" he called.

She sat in front of a table full of untouched food, dressed as a young noblewoman might. Her eyes when she turned toward him were clear and bright, her skin flushed prettily, and her lips soft and pink. She nearly glowed with health. The sight momentarily made him speechless and Yuwen Yue paused before he reached her side, feeling suddenly as if all his anxiety had been foolish and self-indulgent.

Xia Fei had followed them in, her sharp eyes analyzing the scene as if she had set it up for a test. Chu Qiao swallowed down whatever she had been about to say to him. The three of them studied each other.

"Now that you are awake, we might as well settle this matter quickly," said Xia Fei with an air of concern. "Chu Qiao, I can help you recover your memories. Even if you are…involved with this man right now, that relationship is based on lies. Once you learn who you are, you will understand why he has no connection to you."

"You assume that I care about past allegiances and enmities." It seemed as if Xing'er, having woken only a little while ago, had already anticipated this confrontation. "I already know about my past," she continued. "What parts I have not remembered on my own, I have heard it from Wu Daoya and I trust him far more than you."

"The Wind and Cloud Decree is an vast power and a vast responsibility." Xia Fei's pale face seemed to be a shade whiter than before. "You don't—"

"No, you don't understand." Chu Qiao stood, facing her eye to eye. "Lady Xia Fei, you are a stranger to me, though you feel that I am not one to you. Perhaps you truly were my guardian, perhaps not. But your mistake is thinking that I am only the child that you remember—Luo He's daughter—and that I can be used as the weapon she wanted me to be. You think I will be naïve and easily manipulated. You forget that I have fought in a war, I have led an army of men, I have killed and sacrificed and spent years living by my own principles and pursuing my ideals of a better world."

Xia Fei let her finish. When the silence began to stretch on, diminishing the ferocity of Chu Qiao's words, she started to laugh. "And have you not been naïve and easily manipulated? You have followed in Yan Xun's footsteps for how many years, for what reason other than the softness of your heart toward him?"

"Regardless of the reason, it was my choice." Chu Qiao faced down the older woman, her shoulders rigid. Yuwen Yue came to stand besides her, lending his silent support. "Yes, I followed Yan Xun for so many years, and what I learned was that I will no longer allow myself to be used. Not by him, and certainly not by you."

"So you will abandon your duty?" Xia Fei's scorn hung heavy in the air. "Chu Qiao, think with your mind, not your tender feelings! Even if you can forgive the Yuwen line for murdering your own, even if you can cling to the very man who enslaved you, even if you can turn traitor on your own men in any instant just to save his life—even after all that, what makes you think that he can ever be with you?"

"Who are you to ask that?" retorted Chu Qiao. "This business is between him and me. The Feng Yun Order has no part in it."

Xia Fei stared at them in disbelief. "The Yuwen family is one of the four pillars of support for the Wei dynasty. Do you think he will just give up his identity as long as you give up yours? Do you think he can? The sins of the father are borne by the son; the son will avenge his father. Do you think he can ignore the fact that you killed his father?"

The little smile on her sly fox face suggested that she had been waiting to twist the knife, but something about the violent aura around Yuwen Yue finally made her fall silent.

On hearing the truth so plainly stated, Xing'er had blanched like she had seen a ghost. She would not turn toward him, even when he caught her wrist with his hand. She avoided his eyes as if afraid to find out what she would see in them, and in that moment Yuwen Yue decided that Xia Fei had made herself an enemy—one that she had terribly underestimated.

"Do you truly think," he said slowly and softly to Xia Fei, "that the Eyes of God are so blind?"

The Vixen was left with no choice but to continue her gambit. "She killed your father," she repeated. "Yuwen Hao sent men to kill Lady Luo He, but instead her daughter killed him. It's fate's greatest irony that you then took her into your household as a slave and she ended up finishing off three generations of your family."

"And good riddance," Yuwen Yue snarled back. "Why not tell me something I don't already know! Xing'er only spared me from having to do it myself. I should thank her for ridding the Yuwen house of rats and cockroaches."

"You knew about your father?" Chu Qiao finally looked at him, eyes so wide they seemed to swallow up the rest of her face. "This entire time, you knew? And you still…"

"Still encouraged the murder of his own family," Xia Fei finished for her, her tone poisonous. "So you knew and kept it a secret from your grandfather. What will Yuwen Zhuo think when he finds out that his grandson is actively protecting the woman who killed his son?"

It was Yuwen Yue's turn to laugh, a dry and mocking sound. Even Chu Qiao shivered when she heard it, reminded of what he had been like when she had first met him—how cold he had been and how little worth he had assigned to human life.

"Did you really think," he said to Xia Fei, "that just because I share blood with them, I would shed tears over the deaths of rapists, sadists, and murderers?"

Her attack thwarted too easily, Xia Fei still did not back down from the spiraling situation. She locked eyes with Chu Qiao, the truth making her words hurt all the more. "You have betrayed him, left him, killed his family, caused him to lose everything, and almost gotten him killed. And yet he comes back to you like a loyal dog wanting another kick in the side."

"Leave," Yuwen Yue barked at her. He moved to forcibly remove Xia Fei from the room, but the leader of the Feng Yun Order had made her point and was already walking toward the door.

Chu Qiao could not recall the last time she ever saw Yuwen Yue so furious. His face was like a thundercloud, his brows drawn together in pain and wrath, his mouth a slash of grief. She felt numb and frozen, the enormity of how much she had hurt him, compounded with how much she owed him, crashing down on her in a dizzying wave. A strain in her chest ached so much that it was hard to breathe.

Through the thundering of her own heartbeat in her ears, she heard Xia Fei's parting shot.

"Yuwen Yue, fourth young master of the exalted Yuwen family, the proudest and most arrogant of all. Exceptionally quick of mind, skilled in war, handsome in face, noble in character, and powerful in rank. Yet Chu Qiao chose another man over you every single time. By all accounts, the whole world knows by now that you can't have her, even as Yan Xun's leftovers."

With that, Xia Fei stepped out, her assassins sliding the doors closed after her.

They were left alone together in a room that felt devoid of air. Chu Qiao's eyes had filled with tears and they spilled silently down her cheeks in a hot, wet rush. She rushed to say something, anything. But she had wronged him so much, what could she possibly say?

I don't blame you for trying to kill Yuwen Yue, she had said to Yan Xun. This was war; she had even expected to meet him on the battlefield herself.

But you should not have used his feelings for me.

But hadn't she also taken advantage of his feelings for her, over and over again? He had made his intentions clear in a hundred different ways long ago. Without offering him anything back, while keeping him an arm's distance away, she had grown used to him always being there to protect her, to comfort her, to help her pick up the shattered pieces of herself.

Whatever she said now, it would seem like she was using his feelings to mend her own broken heart after everything that had happened with Yan Xun.

It was too quiet in the room.

Without another word, Yuwen Yue also left without a backward glance.

* O * O * O *

A/N: Please don't hate me for leaving it there, I didn't plan to but this ended up being longer than I thought and when I passed 5k, I had to cut it off somewhere despite the angst! Some of you may have expected a quick and happy resolution but in my view it's unrealistic if everything is suddenly fine after all the choices that CQ made. They have way too much to figure out in their relationship, not to mention the rest of the story.

As I originally mentioned, I never read the novel so I was going only off the drama when I started writing. The bad news is that I recently made the mistake of reading some chapters of the novel when I was bored, so now I'm afraid of confusing things and also feeling kind of stupid for trying to write fix-it fanfic for a completed novel. That cliffhanger ending in the drama was really the worst! I don't think a single storyline was actually resolved.

The good news is that I've now roughly plotted out the whole rest of the story and it should be very different from the book anyway. In the novel, CQ was a secret agent who time traveled back to the past and became an 8 year old. In the drama, there was the whole spy plot that ended up going nowhere, she's practically got magical powers, and the writers forgot that the story was supposed to be about her, not Yan Xun. And, you know, there's no way I'm going to be satisfied unless YWY and CQ get to confront and take him down like the badass heroes they should be.

I mentioned in my author's profile on FFN that I didn't post this chapter for a while because I wasn't really happy with it and I'm still not, but I realized it's something I just have to get over and write more. If you have opinions, please share them! All your reviews and comments are very, very much appreciated and honestly I wouldn't still be writing without them, so thank you.