Author's Note: This story has short chapters because it was meant for tumblr; a chapter longer than 1.5k is a good way to torture people on mobile. The series is on-going and has been posted here due to popular request. The title comes from a tumblr tag from mouseymightymarvellous, who is known as MorgannaLeFae here. Please give your praise. She has poetry flowing through her veins.

ONE

Flail, Ninja Dorks! Flail!

Sakura thought she knew the true depths of embarrassment. Due to her timid nature, her childhood was an endless loop of mortification. But not even in her wildest dreams could have imagined this. She scrambled away from the table, sending her chair clattering across the floor. The entire room silenced as they turned to her.

"Yamato-sensei! I don't want to hear this!" Sakura resisted the childish urge to raise her hands to press them against her ears.

"I'm simply saying I could put in a good word for you."

"Guh!" Sakura's mouth was struggling to respond on her behalf, since her brain had abandoned her.

Yamato-sensei stood from his chair, leaving behind money to pay for their tab. "Very well. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Sakura."

Sakura whimpered, nodding her head in substitute as a goodbye.

She watched her sensei leave the restaurant, grateful that everyone else had gone back to minding their own business. She pressed her hand to her chest, certain that the outline of her heart could be seen with every beat. Calming herself, she took one more sip of her ice water, hoping the cool drink would abate flush of her cheeks. It was just as well to forget this dinner ever happened.

Sakura pressed her lips tightly together as she left the restaurant. Everyone her age was starting to pair up, and even her sensei had noticed. As well-meaning as Yamato-sensei was, sometimes his personality skills were lacking. This led to him bribing her with a free dinner, which was actually an expertly laid trap.

Sakura had been in love with Sasuke since she was twelve years old. She loved the way the hair fell around his face; she loved the hidden smile that she could read in his eyes. She loved the elegant way he moved in battle. Her feelings were the same six years later, and Sasuke's handwriting was enough to set off a stampede in her chest.

Two hours ago, Saskue left the village with a knapsack thrown over his shoulder, promising to protect the village from afar. And once more, he refused to take Sakura with him. Even now, six years later, Sakura still loved Sasuke.

But this time around, Sakura wasn't left unconscious on a bench. Instead, she had Yamato-sensei at her side, and she was all too aware of his incredulous look.

"You still love him?" Sensei had asked when Sasuke was little more than a patio umbrella in the distance.

The question more earth shattering than a headline in a newspaper. Yamato-sensei was too sincere, and well-meaning for Sakura to ignore. She was faced with an uncomfortable truth: she loved Sasuke like a movie star crush. Celebrities were loved for their pretty faces, for their accomplishments. Their personalities were molded for the convenience of the fan.

Sakura only shrugged in response to as she watched Sasuke's dot disappear around a bed.

Then her sensei offered to treat her to lunch. It was when Sakura popped the first bit of food in her mouth that Yamato started asking about her love life. Her sensei, one of the most awkward people in existence, offered to set her up on dates.

Dates.

Yamato-sensei had more than one name.

To be fair, most of the names Yamato-sensei had dropped were people Sakura believed were in ANBU. They were unlikely to be intimidated by her strength. It was sort of sweet Yamato-sensei took that in mind. Sakura had answered his invasive questions whil she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.

Sakura had almost survived her free lunch, when Yamato-sensei dropped the bombshell on her.

"You could always go on a date with the Hokage."

Cue Mortification Alley

Sakura kicked a rock down the road, before opening the gate at her home. She looked over her shoulder to Hokage Mountain, and gave the sixth face a scowl.

Kakashi scribbled a reminder note to buy some more shampoo as he caught another whiff of the Floral Green. It really was the best if he had his own shampoo separate from the pack. Urushi had already stopped by twice today looking for Pakkun; although Kakashi was certain the dog was teasing him.

The door opened, and Kakashi saw Yamato enter the room.

"A bit late for you," Kakashi said as he added eggplants to his list. "I was beginning to get worried."

"Ah." Yamato raised a hand to rub at his neck. "Sasuke's sendoff went as expected. Nothing to report there."

"Oh? Is there something else you need to mention?" Kakashi bent down to tuck the shopping list into a bag under his desk.

"I want to set you up on a date."

Kakashi sat up, hitting his head against the underside of the desk with a thump loud enough that a squad of ANBU appeared.

"It's fine." Kakashi waved the squad off as he rubbed at the angry spot on the back of his head. Yamato had his hands up, stammering apologies to one of his old teammates. Kakashi leveled his best glare at Yamato when the squad cleared the room. Much to Kakashi's disappointment, Yamato posture grew more defiant.

"Haruno Sakura."

Kakashi could do nothing but gape in silence, stunned by the name. Yes, she was pretty. Yes, she was very powerful. But she was fourteen years his junior. They would have nothing to talk about.

You don't need to talk, his traitorous libido whispered.

Kakashi coughed into his hand, and tugged at a random stack of papers on his desk, trying to look busy.

"Don't be ridiculous, Yamato. What could we possibly talk about?"

"I'm uncertain. I know she still thinks she is in love with Sasuke; but when I asked what she loved about him… Ah… Kakashi-sempai, I could have sworn she was describing you."

Kakashi felt himself grow hot behind his neck. It was fortunate the Hokage robes covered ninety-eight percent of his body. If he died of embarrassment; they would hopefully attribute it to heat stroke. Unless, Haruno Sakura performed his autopsy. Which was likely since she was the top medic in the village, and he was the Hokage. Then she would discover he died because the idea of dating her made him feel …

…

The idea of dating her refused to fit in his head.

"Anything else to report?" Kakashi said, avoiding the statement with zero subtlety. "If not, you're dismissed."

That night, as Sakura wandering mind rewound the memories of Kakashi as he protected her during the Fourth War. The recollections played like a newsreel; a comfortable feeling of safety pulled her into darkness.

That night, Kakashi was brushing his teeth, minding his own business, when Pakkun strolled in. The pug jumped over the counter top, and retrieved the shampoo Kakashi had used in the morning. The scent pulled up a memory of Sakura; and the fierce look in her eye as she punched Kaguya in the face.

Kakashi spat his toothpaste into the sink, and frowned at it unhappily.

"Dammit, Yamato."

Sakura woke up in the morning, clutching at the pillow which she had imagined as a lover's arm. The picture of Sasuke next to her bedside did nothing but make her feel lonely. She rose out of bed to open the curtains the Hokage Mountain clear thanks to sunny skies.

This time, when she saw the sixth face carved into the mountain top, she stopped to admire the way his hair fell around his face.

Sakura inhaled sharply.

"Dammit, Yamato-sensei!"