Faulty Gags

All characters from 'The Loud House' used in this work belong to Chris Savino.

Luan was putting down her box of new props/gags on her stage for her "next show", as her attending "audience" waited patiently on the bean bag chair. She was quite happy with herself and her new haul of props/gags from her favorite supplier Fanny's Prank Emporium.

"So how did get lucky and win me a private early screening of the annoyingly cute comedian Luan Loud?" The charcoal colored haired macaroon cream skin thirteen-year-old audience member asked."Not that I'm not honored to be here."

Luan merely smiled because even her girlfriend's little snarky comment wasn't going to change her mood. "Your sourpuss mood won't bother me this time because I have a special treat for both of us today."

"This isn't a mood, this is my actual personality honey bunny," Maggie said with a smirk on her face.

"I know and I love that about you spooky cookie." Luan as she walked over to Maggie and gently bopped her nose.

As she made her way back to the stage, Luan cleared her throat before setting up the scene for her lovely audience. "I'm glad that you all were able to make it out to this special showing tonight."

"It's three in the afternoon and I'm the only one here." Maggie heckled from her seat. Luan glared at her slightly as Maggie merely smiled at back the older girl.

"This show is very different from my usual shows, for this performance, I was given the honor to receive from Fanny's Prank Emporium some new, not out to the public yet, props and gags." Luan proceeds to hold up an already opened box with the FPE logo on the front. "And you get to be the first person to witness them in action." She proceeds to take out her first prop from the box, her own dummy .

"Oh god please don't tell me that there are more than one of those demonic puppets now," Maggie said when she saw the dummy.

"Nope, I'm one of a kind, baby doll," answered back with a flirty tone in his voice, much to Maggie's disgusted. "I am rocking a new coat of plastic polish from Fanny's, but I would gladly rock you on my arm." He winked at her.

"Another flirty comment from the dummy's mouth and the only thing you will be rocking is a new tuxedo," Maggie stated as she glared at the dummy.

"For those wedding bells, I hear?" He asked in a sing song like voice.

"For your funeral," Maggie said with some anger in her voice. Luan then covered ' mouth and slowly put him away with a worried smile on her face as she knew Maggie shouldn't be taken lightly.

"Hahaha, that , what a jokester huh? Alright, moving on to the next item of our show." Luan pulls out from her box, a Squirting flower.

"Sweetie pie, not to point out the obvious, but don't you like own like four of those already?" Maggie asked with a raised eye.

"Yes, but this is no ordinary squirting flower, one this is a hair clip squirting flower, and that makes a slightly more advanced than my normal flowers." Luan pinned the flower in her hair and walked over to Maggie, who was skeptical about the gag. 'Let me show you how it works." Luan said as she bends over to eye level with the tween.

"No." Maggie blankly said as she pushed Luan's face away, she wasn't exactly in the mood for eyeliner running down her face.

"Aww come on Maggie." Luan whined as Maggie merely turned her head "Pleaseeee for meeee." She begged with puppy dog eyes while Maggie tried to stay strong.

"...Ugh fine just go ahead." Maggie gave in to her girlfriend and pouted in defeat as she ready herself for the water show she was about to see.

Luan merely smiled, pleased with herself, she turned her head slightly, pushed the trigger button and…nothing. Nothing happened, and nothing still as Luan kept pushing button as Maggie merely stared back, unamused. "Having fun there, pushing that button?"

"Just having some technical difficulties," Luan said as she walked away from Maggie and shooked the clicker that was supposed to trigger the squirting flower. "Sometimes must be buggy with the tube and the flower." Luan took off the flower clip and looked at it directly. SPLOSH! The flower finally went off, just at the wrong target.

Maggie covered her mouth trying to hold back her giggles. "Are you ok Luan?" She merely spat out some water and licked her lips before she answered back.

"I guess I'm already all washed up before I even got my big break." She started laughing as Maggie groaned, suppressing her giggles wasn't too hard now.

"Look like your sense of humor is still intact sadly," Maggie said as she got up from her seat, and grab a rag to wipe Luna's face. "So I'm guessing that wasn't part of the show huh?" She asked with a small smile on her face.

"Oh, how did I get so lucky to have such a smart girlfriend?" Luan asked with some sarcasm in her voice before Maggie gently kissed the tip of her nose.

"I ask myself that same question every day, but like this 'Oh how did Luan Loud get so lucky to have me as her smart girlfriend?'" With a cheeky smile on her face. Luan merely rolled her eyes as Maggie took back her seat.

"Moving on, the next gag, the classic red clown nose," Luan said as she turned around, showing the nose proudly on her face and when she went to give the nose a little squeak. Ffffffffffffff. Luan cheeks turn a slight shade of pink as the sound of passed gas made itself notice when she squeeze the nose.

Maggie merely looked at Luan with a surprised look on her face. "Did you just-"

"It was the nose!" Luan cut her off before she could finish that sentence.

"Luan if you did...toot, I'm not going to judge you, but at least own up to..."

"Test it out for yourself then, it really was the nose!" Luan tossed the nose to Maggie as it seemed that she didn't believe that she didn't toot. Maggie did give the nose a little squeeze and the "Ffffffffffffff" noise make itself heard again.

"It's not supposed to do that either I'm assuming?" Maggie asked as she looked over the nose before she put the nose on herself.

"No, the same thing with the squirting flower clip, they seem to be a little faulty," Luan said with some sadness in her voice as she was really excited to share them with Maggie but they were a bit buggy.

"Well sunshine, why don't you try the next item, maybe this one will work correctly?" Maggie told Luan with a small smile, trying to cheer her up.

Luan looked at her with a skeptical look on her face but did what she was told anyway.

They didn't, the next three props were just a bust as the first two. A new microphone that was suppose to better quality than the one she currently own, only gave back a very very loud feedback, a pair of Groucho glasses where the eyebrows and mustache were supposed to move, fell off right after Luan had finished winding it up, and a bike horn that couldn't squeeze out a single note.

"They were all a huge failure...I'm a huge failure…" Luan said as she laid on her bed with in arms.

"You are not a failure," Maggie said as she gently rubbed Luan's back in comfort.

"Were you not paying attention to the last five gags, Lady of the Night!" replied instead as he stood up from Luan's stomach. "These gags were way worse than any pun I've heard come out of brace-face's mouth over here, and trust me, I've heard a lot of them."

"Do you ever just shut your mouth and stay quite like a good dummy." Maggie snapped at the puppet. "And just because the stupid gags didn't work, doesn't mean that you are to blame Luan." Maggie made sure to say it directly to Luan instead of .

"Listen here doll face, we are done-zo here, there were seven things in that box and they were all failures, heck I'm scared to see what's to happen to me after using that plastic polisher," told Maggie. "Besides, the dummy here is more upset that she failed instead of you than the actual failures instead."

"Luan whether or not your dumb gags had work or not, you do know I still would have enjoyed your little show." Maggie as laid herself down next to Luan. "And seven things? You only show me six things, what was the seventh thing?"

"It was a dumb bow tie but I didn't even bother showing it to you because seeing how that last five things went, I assume it was a bust too." Luan finally responded back instead of .

"Well come on then, I came to see the annoyingly cute comedian Luan Loud, and I am not leaving till I see this show all the way through," Maggie stated as she got up from the bed and started pulling Luan up as well. "Please Luan...for me?" Maggie smiled at her girlfriend, trying really hard to make Luan feel better.

Luan looks at Maggie before sighing and smiling back. "Sure thing Magpie, anything for you." Maggie gently kissed Luan's cheek before she got up and went to pull out the last item from the box. Maggie sat herself up on the bed to watch the rest of the show.

Luan then turns around to face Maggie, a pink bow tie. "Now for the final item for today's show, a bow tie, but not an ordinary bow tie." Luan pushed the middle of the bow tie and nothing. "Great looks like this one is a bust too."

"What was it suppose to do?" Maggie asked as she got up and walked over to Luan.

"Spin around." Luan pouted in disappointment.

"Like they do in those old in those old timey shows…" Maggie stated as she had an idea. "I think I know what the problem with this one is."

"Oh yeah, wh-" Luan was cut off when Maggie grabs her by the shirt collar and pulled her into a surprise kiss. But this kiss was different from any regular kiss Luan had received from her girlfriend. Luan had closed her eyes and gave into the kiss, but she could swear that she felt sparks when Maggie's lips crashed into her lips. The kiss itself might have lasted at the most, five minutes, but to Luan, it was much longer.

"There, fixed it," Maggie said with a smile as Luan merely stare back at her with rosy pink cheeks and a slightly opened mouth.

"W-w-what do you mean?" Luan asked as Maggie merely poke her Luan haven't noticed was, during their kiss, the bow tie had begun spinning, just like they do in old timey cartoons when men wearing was caught off guard by pretty women.

"I assumed if it worked in the cartoon, it might work in real life." Maggie merely smirks pretty pleased with her work. "Similar to how those sexist cartoons portray women as sexual objects only there to arouse the guys, and it shows with wolf whistling, gaping mouths, falling pants, and of course-"

"Spinning bow ties." Luan finished her sentence as she touched her lips as Maggie nodded in agreement.

"All the other gags might have been a little faulty, but this one was just being used improperly." Maggie stated as she wrapped her arms around Luan's neck."I think though, despite all the failures I saw today, this might have been my favorite one of your shows just yet."

"Mine too," Luan said as she leans her forehead against the younger girl's forehead with a huge smile on her face.

Hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did, Remember to Review and Fav~