Seashorse Seashell Party, Done Right

Summary: How Seahorse Seashell Party should have ended, if the situation, was treated as if it was happening in the real world because the ending was just terrible and Meg deserves a happy ending.

[edit: 9/09/2017]

I do not own Family guy.

Enjoy!

"Hey, everyone" Brain said, walking in, having finally gotten over his bad trip with the magic mushrooms. "I'm sensing a lot of negativity in this room" going to the middle of the room before sitting down.

And at the sight of him, Meg righteous anger went up a whole new level.

This biggot asshole, who still hadn't realised, that he was no longer the families voice of reason, had finally graced them with his presence, and the worst part about his appearance was, she could tell, he had just done some hard drug's.

Brain had long since destroyed the image of being a role model for this family, in her eyes.

"Yes, Brain, there is," Lois said, obviously annoyed. "Meg seemed to think she's taking some kind of righteous stand. That's going to make us all feel like were inadequate."

"Mom. MY GOD YOUR CONDESCENDING!" Meg yelled she was surrounded by idiots!

"Jeez, look at those two," Stewie said, from right beside Brain. "They're going at each other like an Italian guy and black women"

#Cue confusing and offensive, cut away gag#

"Look, the bottom line is, Meg," Lois said, "You're just taking out your own problem's and dumping it on everybody else."

"My problems!?" Meg said, in disbelief. "Oh, I see. Is this coming from my 'role model' mother? The shoplifter? The drug addict? The Porn star? The whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton go to town on her?"

"Oh, so, what?" Lois said, not liking where this was going. "A...all those things are behind me now. I'm a better person now because of those experiences."

"Are you? Are you really, a better person?" Meg said, not believing what was coming out of her own mother's mouth, as she narrowed her eyes, because to her, Lois had only gotten worse over the year's, the only time's she was actually kind to her, was overshadowed by all those horrible thing's, she put her own daughter through.

"What's your point, Meg?" Lois said.

"My point is, that with all the irresponsible, reckless, idiotic behaviour in your past, that somehow, heh, somehow you have the nerve, the arrogance to consistently and ruthlessly point out my shortcomings." Meg said, what hypocrisy!

Meg was digging too deep and Lois could feel it and said.

"Alright, well fine! Okay, I'm not the perfect mother; but who is?"

Only for Meg to let out a hallow laugh and say. "Oh, not only are you not the perfect mother, you're the farthest thing from! From the moment, you gave birth to me, I had to trust you. I had no choice. I needed you to protect me from the world, to be my guide, to help me navigate the difficult, confusing, and vulnerable journey to becoming a person. You have done NONE of those things! You're my mother and you took a child's trust and smashed it into bits in a seventeen-year long mission to destroy something that you killed a long time ago! And honestly, when I turn eighteen, I...I don't know that I ever want to see you again!"

And Lois's, lips began to quiver, at the thought of one of her children, cutting off all contact with her once, it was proof that she hadn't been a good mother to Meg.

The situation was finally sinking into Lois and she began to cry and say. "Your right. Your right, I'm a terrible mother. I'm so sorry, so, so, sorry, Meg. Can you ever forgive me? " before sitting down in tears and saying. "Oh god'

But no matter how hard Meg tried, she couldn't feel any sympathy at the sight of her own mother in tear's, it took almost eighteen years before Lois finally realised, how bad she was as a mother, but what irked her was the fact, she had to point it out to her, instead of Lois figuring it out herself.

Who knows what would happen if Lois never took a glance at her own actions?

But of course, Stewie had to ruin all of this, he went to check on his phone in hopes of breaking the tension and said. "Oh, wow, everybody's already Tweeting "Stewie Just Said That"."

But nobody expected Meg to suddenly turn to him and shout.

"SHUT UP, STEWIE!"

The house grows silent as everybody looked at Meg with wide eyes, including Stewie, who was shocked to find Meg could understand him.

Then Stewie started to tear up from being yelled at but Meg was unapologetic, she had long since, gone past the point of caring about Stewie.

The baby had given her no reason to actually like him, even when he complimented her, she could tell he didn't really mean it, it was all in his eyes, yes, he was a baby who could easily be influenced, but he should be thinking for himself by now.

That bastard would ridicule her at every chance he got, always looking for ways to make her life a hellish nightmare.

She had baby sat him once and he had been a monster to her, she had tried to be fair unlike her parents and he ran away as if she had turned into another Peter, and to get him to stay, she had to apologies to the little bastard for not letting him do what the hell he wanted, while their parents were away.

She had been portrayed as the bad guy the whole time, never once did Stewie apologies for his own bratty behaviour and everybody just left it at that.

"Hey, Meg. You can't talk to Stewie like that. He's your little brother" Peter said.

Wait, the Fatman can understand me too!? Stewie thought in shock, what a rear moment.

"Oh, since when did you start caring about your own kid's, fatass?" Meg said, turning her wrath onto her worst abuser in the family, her own father. "Shouldn't, you find this hilarious?"

"Well, I wouldn't call this funny" Peter said, "I, I think this is clever, after all, you have those big round glasses, so, yeah. I don't know. Tell me what's on your mind"

"Oh, I'll tell you, Mister selfish ass dad" Meg said, walking over to Peter.

"Hey! That's Mister, Mister Selfish Ass Dad to you, young lady." Peter said, once again being stupid.

"Oh, god is she going to do me, next?" Stewie said he had never seen Meg so angry, Brain couldn't help but notice how quick Stewie was to recover from tear's, had he been faking it?

"You are completely selfish and totally irresponsible as a father." Meg began, ready to say what she had bottled up for years.

And Peter being Peter said. " All right, I see what's going on here. You're in love with your old man."

But Meg wasn't deterred by Peter's lack of ability to understand what was going on around him, she had all day to hammer this all in and she was going to make sure Peter finally took a good look at himself.

"You have no education" Meg continued. "You have no interests, you just do whatever reckless thing you want to do, whenever you want to do it, without regard for anyone else. Oh and when you're not terrorizing the community with your impulsive escapades, you're being a total jerk to your family! You shove your daughter's face in your ass and fart on it!"

Here Peter laughed, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world to fart on your own child face on purpose, like usual.

Well, he was about to get a rude wake-up call.

"God, if someone in the outside world, could see the way you treat me, you would be in jail!" Meg said, this whole town must hate the very ground she walked on, if they thought, what she was going through was completely normal.

And Peter laughed again, thinking she was joking but Meg wasn't going to take this lying down and gave a hallow laugh as she said.

"Oh, this is amusing to you? Well, see if you find this funny!"

And Peter still not taking anything she was saying seriously, said. " I like where this is going."

But Meg was ready for him as she said. "You're a fat, lazy, abusive, blue-collar, Irish-Catholic dad who drinks WAY too much, and barely makes enough to support his family! You've lived half your life, and you have nothing to show for it! Your only arguable accomplishments are your kids, and look at us! We're a disaster!"

"Meg, watch it," Stewie said, he didn't like to be called a disaster but Meg ignored him completely and continued on her father.

"You're a total and complete embarrassment in every possible way! Take a good look at yourself, Peter Griffin! You're a waste of a man!" She said.

Silence before Peter said.

"Hey, wait, a second..." He said, as the words finally penetrated his thick skull. " These are criticisms! Hey Lois, tell her to knock it off!"

And Lois glared at her husband and said. "Oh, and where the hell were you when she was laying into me?!"

" I was thinking about getting a fancy cane, maybe getting more attention from strangers." Peter said, as if what he just said deserved to be said with pride, at a time like this.

"Have either of you guys been listening to me?! Do you both, just have your heads up your asses?!" Meg said, she couldn't believe this.

"Dad, did! Look, he's got crap on his ears!" Came her brother Chris, 'intelligent' answer.

"That's unrelated." Peter said, he still hadn't grasped the seriousness of the situation.

"Chris, I don't like that language." Lois scolded.

"Oh, now, you decide to act like a Mother," Meg said, interrupting Chris before he could open his mouth and Lois suddenly looked ashamed. "Why should any of your kid's take what you say, seriously, anymore?"

"Hey, Hey," Brain said, stepping in, this was getting too serious. "Why don't we all calm down first and then continue this discussion another time, over a cup of calming tea?"

"Oh, so the dog is going to preach to us, now?" Meg voice rung out and Brain turned around and said.

"What did you, say?"

"Oh, nothing," Meg said, "I just find it funny, how you attempt to be the voice of reason in this situation because tell me, Brain. How is your son, Dylan? You know, the son you promised to raise and love but ended up leaving you, in hopes of helping his mother, back on the right track, like a good person should, who you haven't seen since? Because, he must really sleep well at night, knowing, instead of you trying to get to know him, you're trying to get into the pants of every hot chick that walks by you or is sitting right next to you?"

"Oh, snap. She's got you there" Stewie said, annoying Brain.

But Brain promised, himself he would not snap like the rest of the family and said. "Look, Meg, I know I'm no saint but I think we can all agree that I'm the cleanest person in this house, out of all of us"

And Meg snorted, Brain really did not see himself, did he? And said. "Clean? You? Brain, you really don't see yourself well, do you? Then let me give you a run down."

"Oh, she's starting on, you now." Stewie said, excited.

"You're one of the biggest asshole's in this whole house!" Meg said. "If you're not trying to get into some girl's pants, your shoving your own ideology, down our throats. You've, ridicule those who believe in god and you do it in such an arrogant manner, that people can't help but hate you right off the bat. You try to come off as an intelligent writer but your just another dumbass, who just so happens to own a laptop. You're so arrogant in what you think you know, that it comes across in your own writing. Do you think anybody wants to read a book that talk's down to you like you're a complete morn? From a dog who has a god complex?"

Making Brain gape.

"And that's not even the worst part," She said, "Do you know what really gets under my skin? It's the fact, that you always act like your some kind of angel, whenever we fight as a family! Who are you to give advice, when we've all grown used to seeing you come home drunk or high? Who are you to speak, when your mysteriously silent whenever I'm abused by the others? Who are you, to offer advice, when you disregard everybody else's, thinking you're on a higher plane of intelligence when we all know by now, that you dropped out of college and when you finally did the test after so many years, you failed badly! Where did your smart's that you love to shove in our faces go, Brain? Doesn't this prove to us all, that you're not as smart as you think?"

"Hey, give the guy a break, you're no Mary Sue, either" Stewie said, remembering quite a few time's, how crazy Meg could be.

"And who fault is that?" Meg said, "You all treat me, like garbage, no, worst, then that! Do you think I'll be alright in the head, after all those years of abuse? For god sake, I even fall in love with Brain, who is a dog and kidnapped him! Didn't you ever think, that the only reason I did that, was because I thought, I had finally found somebody who wouldn't treat me like trash? That I could finally feel like a normal girl? There hasn't been a day that has gone by, that I haven't thought about suicide and I've been quite open about it, but nobody in this house cares. What would you have done, if you found my dead body, one day, huh?"

"Oh, great, she's gone into another rant," Stewie said, but he didn't expect to be picked up by a very angry Meg.

"Oh and you. I've had it up to here with you" She hissed, to Stewie "You're, the most ungrateful brat that I've ever met in my life! I don't even think we've ever had a moment where I can, truly think of you as my own little brother, so I'll lose no sleep in doing this."

She than dropped him and stormed up the stairs, only to come back down with a suitcase.

"And where do you think your, going, young lady?" Lois said.

"What does it look like, I'm doing? I'm clearly moving out" Meg said, dragging her suitcase. "I would have done this sooner but I still had hope that you all would change and treat me, with a little bit of respect but clearly I was wrong. I'm going to stay with a friend for a bit and then when I'm 18, I'll get my own place and go through a proper medical exam, because I'm sure, a doctor outside of Quahog would be very interested in seeing the scar's that I've collected over the year's, when I was still classed as child in the eyes of the law. Because once's I get enough money, I plan to sue all your asses, including everybody in this whole town.'

And Peter laughed, thinking she was joking and Lois and Chris laughed, too, thinking she was joking too.

But who could blame them, for year's Quahog had been ignoring what they were doing to Meg, to the point, they thought the rest of the world was actually the same.

They didn't know, just how wrong they were.

Only Stewie looked worried.

"Oh, and by the way, Stewie," Meg said, before she reached the door to open it. "You must have realized by now, that this family can't function without a lightening rode, which is usually me, so ask yourself this. What would happen to you if I'm no longer here to be that lightening rode? Since you're the next in line."

Wait.

Was Meg, implying that he would be...

"Good luck with being the new, Meg, Stewie," Meg said, chuckling darkly while opening the door and walking out. "I'm sure, the experience would teach you, how not to grow up." Before leaving him to the fate, that now faced him.

When the police arrived, after being given a mysterious tip, they were all shocked to find Peter strangling Stewie, who was not only dirty but dangerous underweight, while the rest of the family, watched.

In that moment, Joe Swanson finally became the police officer he should have been all those years ago and throw away his friendship with Peter to make a giant arrest, an event, that would be celebrated for day's to come, because it turns out, without the Griffons running around, the town was a much safer place to be in.

But it was far from over.

As for Stewie, once they got him to a reasonable health, he quickly found out, the law could touch someone even as young as him. The police had found his secret room full of dangerous weapons and plans for the future, so much evidence, that even they couldn't use the 'he's just a baby' excuse anymore and saw Stewie for the monster he truly was.

They didn't put him in jail but they did send him to a family that promised, to 'straighten' him out, and that was the last anyone ever heard of the baby.

Year's later, one Mrs Megan Weston, now with her own family, handed Mayor West the biggest lawsuit the town had ever faced, her lawyers were in the background preparing to take down the whole town on court day.

Apparently, their actions against the Griffons were simply too little too late, for year's they had ignored a child suffering and even added oil to the fire.

Now, Meg was back and she was out for blood.

Preferably, all her old enemies blood.

End.

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