DISCLAIMER: I do not own Oregairu. Oregairu is the property of Watari Wataru.

Part 4:

I am the garner of my lonesome,

Pain is my body, and sorrow is my heart.

I have made just a single friend.

Unaware of her influence,

Nor aware of her last words!

Waiting for her return…

I have so many regrets, I miss her so much!

My whole life was

Unlimited Kana Works!

-Knock Knock-

"Onii-chan, I'm leaving for school. I left some breakfast for you in the fridge, made with all my love, so please eat it! And please… Onii-chan, get better soon. I miss you…" She says through my bedroom door. When I don't respond, I hear a soft sigh and receding footsteps, indicating that she was walking away.

I'm sorry, Komachi. I hate it, but I can't let you see me in this state. I am a shell of the man I once was, unworthy of your affection. Please… be patient with your weak Onii-chan.

They say that the first stage of separation is denial, and it is something I can personally attest to. Following the destruction of the love of my life, I immediately became deluded, convinced that I could piece together all the shards of the broken disc and retrieve my dear Kana. I was down on all fours, scavenging the pavement, looking for every single piece, I continued like this until Yukinoshita touched my shoulder, knelt next to me, and shook her head. "It's over, Hikigaya."

The second stage is almost always anger. And as ashamed as I am to admit it, I too lashed out at Yukinoshita. I smacked her hand off my shoulder and stood up, pointing at her. "YOU! YOU DEVIL! HOW COULD YOU KILL ANOTHER WITHOUT ANY RHYME OR REASON! IF NOT FOR YOU, KANA WOULD BE ALIVE!" I say as I storm off. If my life was a stream going downhill in one direction, then Kana is a rock that caused me to go another. And Yukinoshita was a dam that cut off all routes for my happiness.

The third stage is bargaining. Or in my case, replacing. I spent the next couple of days out of school, trying to find a replacement that will fill the void that Kana left in my heart. But alas, it was not to be. Trying to recreate what Kana and I had with other heroines from different games… it wasn't the same. You know the feeling you get when you look at yourself after concluding one of your "study sessions"? Well that's what I felt towards myself whenever I tried to replace the part of my heart that belonged to Kana: disgust. After a number of trial and error, I realized it was time to stop.

It's been a week since THAT day, and I've been holed up in my room since. I suppose you could say that I'm in the fourth stage: depression. These days, I just lay in bed thinking about her cute smile. And as masochistic as it sounds, I wish she would degrade me just one more time. But I'm not a masochist. I'M NOT.

A while after Komachi left, the doorbell rang. As no one else was home, it was my duty answer the door and greet the visitor. However, in my current state, I feel inadequate for the job and thus choose to ignore it, assuming they will go away if I cause the impression that no one is home. However, much to my dismay, the doorbell didn't cease to ring, and it was apparent that I was going to have to fulfill my duty, regardless of my ability to. So, I get off my bed, wrap my blanket around myself, and drag my feet to the door. As I opened the door, the sunlight hits my eyes and I am unable to see the face of my visitor.

Though I could not clearly see the face, the features that I could see caused my eyes to widen. Waist-length black hair. A white shirt with a ribbon for a tie and a navy-blue blazer. Low skirt. Thigh-high tights. Even through the sunlight I could make out her piercing blue eyes. You guys already know who it is.

"KANA! IT'S REALLY YOU! I THOUGHT I LOST YOU FOREVER!" I quickly escape the bundles of my blankets and embrace the figure. "I knew you'd be reincarnated. Someone like you simply can't—"

"Err… Hikigaya-kun. Could you please let go? You're suffocating me…" The figure gasps out.

"Oh, you don't have to be so formal. Just call me Hachi like you usually do. If you want, you can even call me trash!" I offer as I loosen my grip.

"Umm… okay… H-hachi." With that, I was on cloud nine.

"Come in, come in. I'll make you some tea." I lead her into the house and show her to the couch. "Have a seat." I go into the kitchen and prepare a cup of green tea. After many attempts of trying to make the perfect cup for my dear Kana, I was satisfied. I walked back into the living room where Kana was with the cup in my hand, ready to give it to her. And that's when I finally took a closer look at my 'Kana'.

Blue eyes, doll-like face. Just like Kana's. But when I took a closer look… her bosom… her bosom was too flat! My mind races to put two and two together and that's when I came to a frightening realization: This person isn't Kana.

"IMPOSTOR! IMPOSTOR! WHO ARE YOU, YOU IRONING BOARD?!" I shout accusingly.

"Ironing board? What are you talking about, Hachi?!" The impostor responded, perplexed.

"Silence, Villian. Never call me that again. You may have been able to fool me into thinking you were my darling Kana, but you've been discovered! Who are you?!" I demand.

"No one was trying to trick you, you fool. Hikigaya, it's me, Yukinoshita."

"Y-yukinoshita?" I stutter. Why would she be here? Hasn't she already done enou… My heart stops. "Oh god… you've… you've come to finish the job, haven't you"

"Huh? What are you talking ab-"

"You've come to kill me, haven't you?! You killed Kana and you want to silence me! MURDERER! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!" I scream at the top of my lungs, hoping someone, anyone, would hear me. I fumble through my pockets, trying to find a phone to call the cops, but remember in horror that I left it in my room.

I attempt to run up the stairs and hide in my room, but just halfway up the stairs, a hand gripped my leg and made me trip. The hand was Yukinoshita's. She dragged me down the stairs and made me turn so that I would face her.

"YUKINOSHITA-SAMA, PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME. I WON'T SAY A WORD. I SWEAR." I plead for my life as Yukinoshita has a vice grip on my leg.

"Jesus Christ, Hiratsuka-sensei wasn't kidding about what she said when we first met. You are petty." Yukinoshita says with a sigh. "Listen, Hikigaya. I'm not here to hurt you."

"… let go of my leg then." I say, still suspicious.

"You'll just run away again if I do that. First promise me that you'll come down, so we can talk things out." She plea bargain.

"I… I accept the plea bargain." I acquiesced. I had no choice.

"Hikigaya-kun, stop acting like this is a crime scene." Yukinoshita says as she lets go of my leg and leads me back into the living room.

For all I know, it still might be.

As Yukinoshita settles on the couch, I find a spot as far away from her as possible. For the sake of safety. All this did was elicit another sigh from Yukinoshita.

There were a few minutes of silence where neither of us said anything. These few minutes were probably the scariest of my life, as I didn't know whether or not Yukinoshita changed her mind about putting me six feet under. Komachi, please don't cry for me. You have to be strong. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Yukinoshita broke the silence.

"-cough- So, Hikigaya…" She starts.

"Y-yes?" I stand up, flinching.

"I want to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for scaring you and I'm sorry for breaking that game. You've been gone from school for an entire week, and I got worried about you. I came today in the hopes of rekindling our relationship and bringing you back to school." Yukinoshita solemnly intoned as she stood up and took an apologetic bow.

"I-is that so? T-then why did you pretend to be Kana? Was that just a way to make me put my guard down? To let you into my house?" I question, feeling a bit safer from her earlier apology.

Yukinoshita raiser her head and again takes on a confused look.

"You mentioned that before, but I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not impersonating anyone, not to my knowledge at least." Yukinoshita assures.

"How can that be when both you and Kana…"

Suddenly, something clicks. Kana… and Yukinoshita… they're both… oh god… Long black hair… Sobu High uniform… snarky attitude… loves Pan-san… dear lord, they're the same people.

The revelation proving to be too much, my legs weakened, and I found myself taking a knee.

"This world… is too cruel." I mutter lifelessly.

"HIKIGAYA, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Yukinoshita yells as she rushes to my side. I give her a nod.

"Yes, I just realized how beauty can blossom from destruction." I say looking at Yukinoshita with a sad smile.

"What are you talking about, Hikigaya?" Yukinoshita asks with her head slightly tilted.

"It's nothing. Rather, I have a request. Would you hear me out?" I softly ask. I give her smile to reassure her.

Yukino hesitates but finally nods her head in agreement.

"This has been a long and tiresome morning. But thanks to the events that have transpired, I have come terms with a few things. So, will you, Yukinoshita" I began my request as Yukinoshita leans forward, listening intently, "get me some food."

"…" Yukinoshita remained still, the only movement being her eye twitch.

"The morning was so hectic that I haven't eaten breakfast yet. And all the running around made me too weak to even stand up. Komachi left some food in the fridge" I say as I turn around to point at the fridge.

That's when I heard a large THUMP along with a sharp pain on my head and my vision turning darker and darker.

Oh god, she's decided to kill me…

A Few Months Later…

"—thank you so much for helping me with my request." A girl says as she bows. We, the service club, have once again completed another task, effectively saving another life. You may say I'm over-exaggerating, but believe me when I say even the smallest things can spiral your life out of control.

It's been a fairly long time since I've accepted the fact that Kana is… well, you know. As you can see, I'm not dead, meaning that Yukinoshita didn't kill me that day. Since then, I've returned to school and resumed my daily life, majoring in Lonerism. It was hard to explain the situation, but with Yukinoshita's help, I somehow managed. I got a few questionable looks and a few heartless gorgons laugh at my expense (Hiratsuka-sensei and Haruno), but I managed not to jump off a building. I was able to return to my rightful place as Komachi's Onii-chan thanks to her infinite generosity. Also since then, I have yet to touch another gal game. I think I'll just stick with my trashy light novels.

However, I feel as if I forgot a crucial revelation that day after Yukinoshita knocked me out by whacking me on the head for no reason.

"Think nothing of it." Yukinoshita responds and soon our client leaves the room.

"Whew, that request was a real doozy, huh guys." Yuigahama says as she slumps against her chair. Just then, a ding comes from her phone indicating that she got a text. She pulls it out and reads it.

"Err… guys. Seems like Miura and the gang invited me out to karaoke so..." she trails off.

"You can leave early today." Yukinoshita proposes, already anticipating the request.

"Thank you so much, Yukinon." Yuigahama delights as she pounces on Yukinoshita for a hug.

Soon after she said her farewells, Yuigahama leaves and I am alone in the room with Yukinoshita. None of us spoke a word and we just read our respective novels until the end of club activities. Finally, at departure time, Yukinoshita breaks the silence by clearing her throat.

"So, Hikigaya-kun, do you recall a certain bet we made a few months ago?" She inquires expectedly.

"Can't say that I do." Of course I do.

"Well allow me to refresh your memory. 'Kana-tan, you look so—" I stop her with my hand before she can do any more damage to my HP.

"I remember! I remember!" I avow regretfully.

She stands there smirking, basking in her glorious victory.

"So, I assume you also remember the penalty. If my memory serves me right, I believe you are going to assist me this upcoming Saturday." She proudly professes.

"S-SATURDAY? That's Valentine's Day. Shouldn't we do this another day?!" I say nervously.

"S-shut up. A new Pan-san movie is coincidentally debuting that day and I decided that you would come as my dat-… baggage boy. Don't you dare try to back out of this now, Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita demands, her face as red as a tomato. She must be pissed.

Deciding not to anger her further, I nod my head and accept my fate.

We lock up the clubroom and walk outside towards the entrance gate. Just as we were both about to make our separate turns, Yukinoshita says one last thing.

"And just so you are aware, I retain charge of this excursion. As such, I'm giving myself the authority to call you 'Hachi'. D-don't read too much into it!" She says bashfully as she scurries away.

As I look at her receding figure, I repeat what she said again in my head. I feel like I'm missing something here…

All of a sudden, my eyes widen as I recall the revelation I uncovered all those months ago…

THE END

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Guess whose back? Wait you probably don't know cuz I changed my name.

Anyways, I owe you guys a huge apology. I know I say it every time, but I mean it. I could blame it on this or that, but it's really just my laziness kicking into hyperdrive.

All that aside, guess who got into the college of his choice? This guy! I've received an email confirming my acceptance just two days ago and I'm feeling ecstatic. I wanted to share my happiness so here I am!

So, how do you guys like the chapter? It's been a while since I've let my creative juices flow, so hopefully I didn't butcher the chapter. I'll admit, I had a lot of fun coming up with this ending and I hope you guys can see it through my writing. And just to answer any lingering doubts, no there will not be another chapter in "A Dilemma in Addiction". This is the last chapter Thoughts?

I appreciate all reviews, opinions, critics, suggestions, you name it. I encourage it all. And if any of you have a story idea you want me to write because you're feeling too lazy (I know that feel), put it in the review section and I'll take it into consideration.

Anyways, I'm rambling so I'll cut myself off now.

Until next time