Hana: -clears her throat- Hello, and welcome.

Kanda: You two are sick.

Hana: For what happened in Fade to Gray, or...

Kanda: Che. Oi. You assholes listen up. Neither this bitch, nor that other guy have ownership over D. Gray-man.

Hana: Woof! Woof!

Kanda: The fuck?

Hana: You said I'm a bitch, so I'm acting like one. -grins- This story was co-written with XavierForest, so...welcome to the third installment of the Monochrome Saga! Enjoy~

... ... ... ...

+ - Chapter 1 - +

The screams haunted him. He believed at first it was all for the sake of his revenge, but nothing is black and white. Never was, and he should've known that better than anyone else. What was this feeling in his chest? He couldn't remember ever feeling such a thing before. Remorse? Regret? Disgust? These were things he swore he had thrown away when his beloved had passed on.

So why? Why after all he did…after all he went through…was he feeling as though he were at his lowest? Weary eyes landed on the door he was to guard for the umpteenth time that day. The room where the source of his own demons were gnawing at him from the inside out. Working their way to the surface, to devour him with…

Guilt? Was it guilt he was feeling? Not for those he killed. He knew what they had done. But the child — for to him, that's all he really was — hadn't don't anything wrong by choice. It was that wretched group that forced him under their wing. To become a monster he was certain the angel never wanted to be.

The screams haunted him…the screams of pain, terror…of pleading. The desperate shouts for the man who knew not of where the younger even was. The boy himself knew not of where he was. He was never told.

Never allowed to leave that room. He was a prisoner, and he had been for months now. A slave to the man that lusted for what shouldn't have been his to begin with. What a time to grow a conscious. He should be pleased that he had his revenge…

"Oh? You're still here, are you, my child?" The man stood to attention, shoulders squared, and jaw tight. These days, he found himself wary of the bespectacled male. He had what he desired. It was only a matter of time before he'd dispose of one of his most valuable pawns. "You've been here all day. You should rest up. I'll look after my sweet angel."

That was another thing that bothered him…how easily the priest claimed his prize…how quickly the screams had begun…he needn't hear the piteous shouts he knew would be coming. Cries that filled the silent structure, but are unheard for miles on end.

For Raku Kanda…this had become the norm in this hideaway. It was heart wrenching.

The screams haunted him. Since the day Allen Walker was brought into this pitch dark hellhole.

"I'll take my leave then," Raku informed the other man quietly. He wanted to leave before he was forced to hear what would come the second his associate opened that door.

(* - *)

Allen stared blankly at the white roof above, his head resting on soft pillows and his wrists bound by simple cuffs to the bed.

He knew that he should have been able to free himself from the cuffs, but his fine motor skills were impaired to the point that he was sure some kind of drug had been slipped into the food he was fed.

It…was numbing. He felt numb...perhaps not nessciarly in the literal sense. But he felt about as lively as a corpse if he was being honest. He had no energy. No will. Perhaps...this was revenge for those who had their lives shortened because of him? Cursed by their souls to be a doll to that monster's whims...

That's all he was right now. A doll. One with no life, no meaning. The slave to a fake priest's whims. He shuddered in disgust as terrorizing memories flooded his mind. Silver eyes shut tight, trying to will what happened away, but only to fail as the nightmare continued to replay.

He wanted to go home...he wanted to get out of here...

He wanted to see Yu again.

"Ah, my little angel is a wake, is he?" Silver eyes snapped open. The fear renewing as he tried what he could to attempt and move farther from the man. "Then let me be the first to wish you a happy birthday."

He felt sick.

"Truly an angel sent by my Lord and Savior. A gift for my deeds to Him."

He wanted to run...but he couldn't.

Allen felt the bed dip as the holy man sat at his side, trembling in fear as a hand slithered up his neck and cupped his cheek.

"You really are quite beautiful."

He was so, so scared, and he just wanted to go home. Still... Would Yu even want him now? Would Yu want something this defiled? Allen wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that.

"H-home..." The fearful male whimpered. "L-let me go..." His voice was still rough, raspy from screaming from restless nights of being used.

Even with the thought of Kanda no longer wanting him...he still wanted to go back...back where he was safe...all of a sudden, it felt as though something the man once said was perhaps one of the best ideas he remembered.

"Then... which are you being right now?"

"Huh?"

Allen swallowed, eyes shut. "Selfish or selfless? Which are you?"

"Both."

"I...don't understand." Allen admitted, "How are you both selfish and selfless?"

Kanda sighed through his nose, and pulled his fiancé's arms around his waist so that the boy would hug him even tighter. "I selfishly want to keep you hidden away from everything that would do you harm, no matter what, but I'm doing this for your sake as well. Your happiness is close to my Number One priority."

"What's your main priority then?" The younger asked, genuinely curious.

"Your safety."

"You're such an idiot, BaKanda."

Allen firmly believed Kanda's words were far from being an idiotic statement anymore. The promise once made to keep him hidden away from people like the Apocryphos...was the most inviting plans he had ever had heard Kanda say, only now that he was in such a situation. He wanted to be hidden away...he needed to be protected. Tears began to fall from his ducts, realizing how much he had fucked up. "H-home...I-I want...w-want to..."

"This is your home now, my sweet angel. No one can hurt you, taint you..." The demon in a man's skin said, "Abuse you. Here, I can cherish the purity of you."

"D-don't want... th-that..." Allen just wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Yu.

"That's because you don't know what's best for yourself," Apocryphos gently told him.

Allen shook his head. The hand was removed with the action. "N-No..."

"But in time, I'm certain you will come around. You're too precious for this world. Too precious for the eyes of lesser men."

"I-is that... why..." Allen's chest hurt. This place — this man — was terrifying and he knew that he had to get away but he couldn't, and that only made him feel all the more helpless. "Is that w-why... y-you're making me st-stay here?"

"Only I can lay my eyes on you," Apocryphos said, brushing a few stands of hair out of the boy's teary face. "You're my angel."

Allen cringed at the gesture, once more trying to shy away from the man's touch. "Stop...p-please...st-stop..."

Weak. Defenseless. He hated it. He hated how weak he was. He despised himself more than he ever did in all his now twenty years. "Perhaps...you still need to learn who you belong to now, hm?"

Fear. "N-no...n-not again...p-please...no…no more..."

The screaming began, echoing through the halls.

(* - *)

Raku covered his ears, but the sound couldn't be blocked. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't tell if he was hearing the past echoes, or if the poor soul in Apocryphos' grasp was being tortured at the present moment.

He clucked his tongue. It shouldn't bother him. He wanted his son to know the pain he went through when Okagi was taken from him...why should either of them, Yu or Allen Walker have happiness when he was left with nothing more than despair?

Raku had told himself for months that both got what was coming to them. He believed his actions were justified...but now...now he was finding it harder and harder to keep his resolve. He was second guessing himself. Okagi...what would he think?

His gut wretched as he realized just what his late husband would say. He would be disappointed. Those eyes would look to him...seeing not the man he loved...but the monster he first met. The monster that never thought he could love. "Fuck." He muttered through clenched teeth. "You're truly pissed off with me, aren't you my beloved?"

Why would I be? You made your choice.

"I can hear it in your voice. You always were easy to read...even in death I suppose."

Raku, you need to fix what you destroyed.

"There's no turning back...I can't." closing his eyes, Raku was met with the ghostly form of his deceased lover.

Okagi figuratively stood before him, arms crossed, a disproving scowl-like pout on his face. Even if he acted so tough, the truth was, he was actually submissive. Raku was only barely taller than the other male. It was humorous for Okagi was the older one, and Raku used to always tease him for being shorter than him. He could see the short, messy black hair, and muddy brown eyes that were looking at him with disproval.

You're an idiot.

"I know."

A foolish man. I thought you were better than that. I guess not.

"I think this is the first time in a while we held any kind of conversation." Raku sighed.

Better late than never. The shorter man reluctantly agreed. Tell me, why are you making our son suffer? What did he do to deserve your wrath? Why must you also involve an innocent? Now look where the hell he ended up. Are you proud for what you achieved here, Raku? Is this really what you wanted?

"I want him to suffer."

Why?

Raku's smile turned grim. "Because it's not fair if I'm the only one in pain."

The Okagi born from the killer's insanity groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. So you'd make a poor boy who's already been through Hell go through it again? Disappointment resonated in every illusory word. Just because you want our child to be in pain?

When it was put that way... "Are guilt tripping me, chibi?'

It was obvious the not-really-there party was about to retort, when it occurred to the ghostly image what Raku just called him. Did you just call me 'chibi'?!

Raku had... missed this. He didn't care if it was fake, but having this Okagi react like his lover... It made him happy.

"And if I did?" It was almost like he never left.

Raku. Own up to what you did. Said the apparition, deciding to go back to the original topic, I hate how you let your insanity take the better of you. I hate the monster you're becoming like back then.

Monster...right, he had been such a thing, hadn't he?

I know you're unhappy. I know you're mad at the world, but how do you expect me to rest if Yu is in pain, and that boy is suffering far worse than anyone?

"Then don't rest," Raku selfishly said. "Stay here with me."

Raku, I'm serious. Okagi chastised. You're becoming the monster you feared you'd be.

"I don't care."

Okagi tipped his head slightly to the side and ventured forward a step, close enough that Raku would be able to touch him. If he were real. Really?

Disappointment flashed in the eyes of his beloved. They closed, and never opened as he spoke his next words. You're a fool. Perhaps you have no chance at salvation. Do you know you're putting my own name to shame? You took it up as a new beginning for you. For us. A Kanda wouldn't do such dishonorable things. The apparition's eyes opened again, stormy, dark, angered. Where is your honor as a man who had taken up my family name? Raku, you're a disgrace to my name and memory. I hope that by the time you realize this, it won't be too late to clean up this fucking mess you made.

And just like that, Raku's eyes snapped opened, chest heaving, and sweat trickling upon his skin. Had...Okagi really visited him the moment he'd fell asleep? Clucking his tongue in annoyance, he sat up on the edge of his bed, face in his hands.

It seems there was much the man had to think of.

And much more to reconsider from his life choices.

... ... ... ...

And so it begins. Welcome to Light within Darkness.

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(As of now there are up to 18 chapters and counting.)