Just a random update, i'm sorry Maki (Still can't update regularly but i will try.)
"Honoka?" My eyes weren't playing tricks on me. She was really there, standing at the door just like that fateful day.
Honoka was exhausted but that didn't stop her to close the distance between us. I admit i was somewhat scared, she appearing here wasn't in my wildest expectations. For all i know, she must have hated now. "...Wh-why are you here?"
"Because i was looking for you, duh. Actually, i was waiting for you back in the clubroom. I figured you would drop by since you forgot your bag. But you never came, so...umm here i am, Maki-chan." Taking steps as she walked, she was now standing in front of me. Meanwhile, i was surprised. My leader waited for me all this time? With all that happened, i forgot about my bag, heck i was still wearing my training clothes.
"...Then, why are you looking for me?"
"The-there's something...i want to tell you, it's important." For some reason, Honoka was fidgeting, nervousness was pretty obvious in her. Nervous of what? Don't tell me...she's going to reject me or worse she might end our friendship right here.
"It's okay Honoka, you..don't need to tell me...i know." My voice had cracks, but i still persevered. The last thing i wanted was for her to be guilty of my feelings.
"Ehh, you know it already, Maki-chan?" Her face had a weird combination of shocked and blushed.
"...Yeah..."
"But i still want to say it. Maki-chan, we've only known each other for a short time, well almost a year. But i think i have fallen-"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR!" Why are you so cruel? Can't you see i'm pretty close to breaking again?
"Maki-chan?"
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Why are you so angry? Did i do something wrong? I just want to tell you that i love-"
Arghh, this idiot...
"I GET IT ALREADY, YOU LOVED SOMEONE! THAT'S GREAT, BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY OR SUPPORT YOU TWO BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, HONOKA. I LOVE YOU AND THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS, I ONLY REALIZED IT JUST NOW!" That was all i could say before i broke down to tears again. That was right, i lost my chance already, all because i was too prideful to come terms with my feelings.
"Ahahahaha!" Honoka's sudden laugh pulled me away from my thoughts. Wait, she was laughing? Did she want to reject me that much?
Dammit all! I charged myself and burst my way towards the door. However, just before i could make a step away from the exit, Honoka quickly caught up to me. She grabbed me by the hand then embraced me from behind. I tried to force my way out, but she held onto me like her life depended on it. "Honoka, let me go! Are you not satisfied yet? Leave me-"
"Maki-chan, please i want you to listen," She pleaded. And of course, i nodded. I already felt this powerless, so might as well take the final nail in the coffin.
"...I'm sorry for what happened earlier, i just don't know how to react back then. I mean who would have thought that the girl i liked loved me too, not to mention she had that...kind of side. To be honest, i'm quite conflicted..." She paused, tightening her hug before breaking away. "...That's why back in the clubroom, i really take my time to think and i finally found my answer..."
My mind was too emotionally exhausted to analyze her words, but it sounded like I was the girl she liked. Puzzled, i turned toward her just to see the warmest sweetest smile i ever saw. "...Honoka?"
"You still don't get it?"
"Get what?"
"Maki-chan, what am saying is...the one i love is you." With those words, i felt the negative feelings dissipating. Was it me? Was it me the whole time? The 'someone' that Honoka loved. Somehow a part of me had doubts, i mean the situation was too good to be true. Maybe this was all a dream or a hallucination due to stress, yes that seemed more plausible. "Hey, are you not going to say something? It's kinda embarrassing you know."
"Ah sorry, i don't know what to say...i-" I took a deep breath to calm myself. She was still staring at me with the same endearing expression. "Honoka, do...do you really...love me?"
"Yes, i love you, geez."
Hearing those words for the second time still made me giddy. Yet as much as i didn't want to spoil the atmosphere, i need to ask her one thing. "How? It doesn't make sense. I mean i was never nice to you, always complaining when you're close and-"
"Maki-chan," She cut me off. "I think love doesn't suppose to make sense. Well, i can think of reasons why i loved you, but if i have to put it in words. I loved you because you are Maki-chan."
"Honoka!" This time, i was the one who initiated the hug. I was still crying but it wasn't tears of sadness anymore. Just like that, she easily cleared the clouds in my mind. This was real...Honoka...the person i loved, loved me back. "...Let's stay like this for a while."
She snaked a hand to my head and started caressing my hair. "Of course..."
...
...
...
Just how many seconds had passed, was it in minutes, or maybe even an hour. Honestly, i didn't care anymore. All i wanted was her...her warmth, her love, and her smile. I could never ask for anything more in my life than this moment.
"Amazing, our hearts are beating like crazy. Heehee, i guess we're girlfriends now."
"...Yeah..." I mumbled, burying my face to her shoulders. We both giggled like idiots, faces flushing like freshly picked tomatoes.
"Sooo what should we do now? I mean couples do date and stuff, but to be honest i have no idea where to start."
"Then Honoka, let's kiss."
"Ehhh!"
Ehhh! We both screamed the same expression. Where did that suggestion even come from? Oh i forgot, i couldn't lie anymore, courtesy of the carelessness of my mother. But getting back to the true issue, that thought had never crossed my mind...fine, maybe a bit. Who wouldn't be? Even in the darkness, her lips gleamed beautifully. That aside, i would never force to do anything. "Fo-forget what i said! It's just your lips look so beautiful- Ahh, what am i saying now? Honoka, i'm sorry i-"
"It's fine Maki-chan," She laughed it out. "Actually, i was thinking the same thing too. I just never expected you to be this...forward."
"...Was that a bad thing?"
"No certainly not. In fact, i'm happy you're being honest with me now."
"Really?"
"I told you before right? I want to understand you and also..." My girlfriend cupped my cheeks, aligning her eyes towards mine. Meanwhile, my hands found their place in her waist, slowly pulling her closer. My heart raced fast as she closed the distance. "...I want to kiss you..."
And then, we sealed our lips in the fated music room where we first met. The kiss was kinda messy and awkward, nevertheless everything felt so right. Sadly, it ended when we felt it was getting harder to breathe. I was the first one to break away, immediately turning to the side and covering my face. Of course, my weird reaction didn't go unnoticed by Honoka.
"Ma-Maki-chan, are you alright? Is something wrong?" Her voice was frantic. She tried to look at me, but i avoided eye contact. Ugh, i just need some seconds or maybe minutes to recollect myself. "Maki-chan please tell me..."
Arghh, i couldn't refuse her, not when she was making that anxious face. "It's nothing Honoka, i'm..i'm just happy that you said you loved me and even kissed me..."
"Heehee, the feeling's mutual too, but Maki-chan...your face..."
Crap, i knew she would ask that, but it was too embarrassing to let her see my face now. "I'm sorry Honoka, i just don't want to creep you out..."
"Why?"
"...Be-because i'm smi-smiling..." Yes, after we broke the kiss, i couldn't stop myself from smiling. Love sure was weird, just earlier i was drowning in deepest pits of despair, but now i had never felt so blissful.
"Well Maki-chan, can i see your face~?"
"Wha- no, it's so creepy Honoka..."
"Please~"
"Ugh..."
In the end, i found myself complying as always. Slowly, i put my hands down and prepared my heart for her reaction. "Whoa, Maki-chan is the most beautifullest when she smiles."
"...Are you happy now? It-it's your fault anyway, making me feel like this..."
"MAKI-CHAN, THAT WAS SO CUTE!" She tackled me into a hug, squeezing me even tighter. What was that? I didn't understand, but it seemed that i stepped on a switch or something. Honoka, you're way too close, not that i mind. "Ah i'm sorry, i kinda lost myself there ehehe. Maki-chan, thank you for loving me."
With those words, i felt like crying again. That was supposed to be my line. Honoka, thank you for loving me too, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Words weren't enough to put in one reply, so instead i was going to make a promise.
A promise to protect that smile, to always make her happy, to support her in time in need and to love her as long as i lived.
Holding her hands, i let the sweetest smile i could muster while saying it as endearing as possible.
[Honoka, i promise you, we are going to have lots of happy memories from now on]
"Honoka, i promise you, we are going to have lots of sex from now on."
Huh...what happened? Why it suddenly turned all quiet here? C'mon Honoka, don't leave me all embarrassed here. Strange, my girlfriend hadn't uttered a word since then, she just bowed her head and stopped moving. Maybe, she was so happy that she was speechless. Well, i could relate to that.
...
...
...
Okay, Honoka was definitely overreacting. It had been a whole 5 minutes, and my girlfriend was still a living statue. Mou, but love surely had its ways of making people do dumb things, to think that i, Maki Nikishino would say something cheesy like 'Honoka, i promise you, we're going to have lots of se-!'
WHAT
THE
HELL
DID
I
SAY!
No way, no way, no way! Di-did i just blatantly say the 's' word in front of... "...Honoka, i-"
Obviously, i panicked. To be honest, it was much better if she was looking at me like a trash again. But when i touched her, she was so cold, also her eyes looked lifeless. No doubt about it, Honoka, she died...mentally. "Honoka don't go towards the light please!"
I shook her back and forth. In the midst of my panicking, i couldn't stop thinking about what i spouted. Pretty sure, i hadn't thought that far and that was the truth. So why did my words turned out like that? For the first time in my life, i, Maki Nikishino was lost. Despair, trepidation, and desperation were all in my mind, until my cellphone rang...
"The caller is...Mama!" My phone almost slipped. I hit the call key a number of times before speaking. "Mama, help me...Honoka...Honoka...she wasn't responding...she...she might be-"
"Calm down dear."
"Yes!" Hearing her voice did make me calm down mentally, physically i was shaking. But if she could give me a tiny ray of hope, then that was fine with me.
"...The truth is, i only called because i forgot to tell about something...something important." Her voice was meek, this was so unlike her.
"An-and what is that?"
"...It's about the side effect of T.R.U.T.H..."
"Side...effect?" Could it be? I suddenly got a bad feeling, like this scene had happened before.
"Yes dear, don't be surprised but the side effect of T.R.U.T.H. is...extreme horniness only towards someone you loved."
As soon as i heard that, i dropped my phone. My mother was still speaking, but i couldn't hear her anymore. Everything made sense now, why i never hesitated to utter those words. All my five senses just went static as i realized one thing: The gods of this world had abandoned me...
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"Mak..ch..n..."
"Maki...an.. w..ke up..."
"Maki-chan, wake up please!"
This voice...it belonged to-
"Honoka!" As i open my eyes, i immediately got hugged by an orange-haired goddess who stood by my side. This warmth...only Honoka had this warmth, so vibrant and enchanting. Yet as much as i wanted to be engulfed by this feeling, my body remembered the horrors i had done and instinctively backed away.
"Ar-are you alright now?" Honoka asked. As expected, eyes looking anywhere but me.
"I'm...not, there are lots of things going in my mind right now. Honoka, there's something i want you to know."
"...It's...fine. Honestly, i don't remember much...i mean i remember but..." She was too blushed to continue. She comically slung her bag, motioning herself to leave. "Ahh i'm going buy some drinks, the vending machines are still working at this hour aha aha aha. Tomato juice right?"
It hurt me so much that she was dodging me now. Still, i steeled my resolve to continue. "Honoka wait, just please listen to what am i going to say."
She didn't utter a word, instead slowly faced me and nodded.
This is it Maki, just simply explain your circumstance to her. Honoka will understand right? Right, of course...of course...
"Honoka, don't..."
"Don't?"
"Don't...don't BREAK UP WITH ME, I BEG YOU! WAHH! I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO EVER LET YOU GO!" Again, for the first time in my life, i, Maki Nikishino beg. The sight was too embarrassing to see, i was on fours as i cried towards her feet. I asked myself why did i resort to this, yet the answer was simple: Honoka was far greater than my pride and for that i was willing to do anything just to keep our relationship together.
"...Maki-chan..."
"Maki-chan, hurry up!"
The sky was so dark now as we trudged our way on the suburban streets. Come to think of it, this was also the first time she and i walked home together. Back then, Honoka invited me a number of times yet i always refused the invitation. Even so, i couldn't properly do a simple thing such a moving my own feet. In my mind, thoughts were swirling like crazy, i was anxious. Just like that, Honoka forgave me, but was it alright? Was it okay to believe that? She wouldn't dump me right? She wouldn't go to her 'Tsubasa-chan' after this, or maybe to her childhood friends 'Umi-chan' and 'Kotori-chan', not to mention a beautiful and mature senior called 'Eli-chan'. Compared to them, they were all much better and more suited to Honoka than i would ever be. With all the negativity aside, Honoka's words were the only thing i could cling to.
"Maki-chan, you're dazing again. Are you sure you are alright?" Those baby blue orbs of hers looked at me with great concern. I could only nod, because if i answered, pretty sure i would say no. "Well, you definitely need some rest. This is my stop, yours is in the other way right?"
This was the time, we parted ways. 'Parted ways' huh, why am i so uneasy with those words? She already took a step away from me...another step...then another step...and another step...
"Honoka!"
"Wha-what is it, Maki-chan? You startled me."
"Sleep with me tonight!"
"Ehhh! Oh do you mean like a sleepover?"
"...Yeah..."
"I would love to. Wait, let me text Yuhiko." As Honoka excitedly fiddled with her phone, i noticed the passersby's reactions. They were all flustered, murmuring and averting my gaze. Well, not that i care anyway, only Honoka mattered in my mind right now. "Aaaand done, my mother is probably busy at this time, so she'll tell her for me. By the way, why the sudden invitation?"
[Ah that, nothing, nothing at all. I just felt like it.]
"Ah that, i'm afraid if i let you alone, you'll think i'm not worthy for you and leave me..." Ugh, i felt so stupid for letting my anxieties take over. In the end, it was Honoka's decision whether she would leave me or not, i just...never expected to love her so much.
"Aww Maki-chan, don't ever think like that." Honoka pulled me into a warm hug. "You know, i think loving someone is accepting the whole of that person, her strong points and flaws. That's why Maki-chan, i decided no matter what happens i'll just continue loving you, that is my answer."
"HONOKA!" Tears ran down in my cheeks as i returned the hug. I wasn't holding back myself anymore. However, putting much of my weight forward, we both lost balance and tripped over the ground. "Honoka, are you okay? I'm sorry, i-"
She clasped her hands on my neck. "I'm fine, Maki-chan. Just promise me, you won't bottle up your feelings anymore. It hurts me when you're hurting yourself."
"Yes, yes, i promised! I loved you so-"
I was pulled into a sudden kiss. It was there again, the otherworldly blissful sensation. Her lips was so soft and tasted like strawberries, maybe that was her favorite food too. Still, i couldn't believe that we were doing it in the middle of streets where many people watc- PEOPLE?!
As my eyes widened in realization, i pulled away. It was too late, the crowd were clapping at us, some even had the gall to take pictures and record the whole thing. My face reached a whole new level of redness, while the sound of their cheers amplified my embarrassment more. In a swift motion, i helped Honoka get up and dragged her away.
A few turns away, we were now in an empty alleyway. My heart was still beating so fast mixed with elation and embarrassment. "I think we are safe now. Why did you do that anyway? That's so embarrassing."
"Ehehe sorry i couldn't help myself, the crying Maki-chan was so cute too."
"...I'm not mad, you know..."
"So cute~" She squealed and hugged me. Honestly, i didn't get what 'so cute~' about it, i was just glad things okay now between me and Honoka. After a minute of hugging, she managed to calm down and extended her hand towards me. "Let's go, Maki-chan."
"Yeah."
After that, things went without a hitch, we arrived at my house and entered it shortly. During our walk, i never let go of Honoka's hand and probably never would, not literally speaking. What could i say, whenever i touched her, all the negative feelings were washing away, everything seemed so bright and lighthearted.
But this was strange, the hallways' lights were off. That didn't seem bothered Honoka though, she was busy admiring how spacious and extravagant the place. However, as we reached the living room, the darkness continued. "Hold on Honoka, i'm going to-"
"Congratulations!" As the light turned on, two familiar voices greeted us complete with confetti and party poppers. Standing right in front of us, were my Mother and a black-haired girl who wore only one expression. "This is truly a wonderful day, right Sachi?"
"Yes, to think that spring would finally come to Maki-sama. What a joyous day indeed." This girl's name was Sachika Misato, Sachi for short. A college-age girl who serve here before the time i couldn't remember. She had fondness for victorian-styled maid uniform and talented in any maid-related chores. "Red and orange, their aura complement each other. Maki-sama has an excellent eye for romance."
"That's my girl. Honoka honey sure is cute, she really resembled Homura in our younger years."
"Ehh, you know my mom?"
"More than knowing, we were close friends. Back in Otonokizaka, she was the-"
"Wait, wait, wait, Mama and i have something to talk about first privately."
"Oh, we have?"
"Yes. Sachi, can you please guide Honoka to my room?"
"As you wish, Maki-sama. Honoka-sama, please follow me." Sachi performed a ladies' curtsy and took the lead. Meanwhile, Honoka just nodded, looking confused. The living room fell into silence as we waited for them to close the door.
"So, what's the topic?"
"Don't play dumb. It's about the T.R.U.T.H. I need to learn more about it." I felt a bit bad glaring at my own mother, but i couldn't help it. First and foremost, she was the source of my problems which wouldn't happen if she only learned to be more careful.
"Honestly speaking, i already told you all i know. It's a powerful truth serum that let people tell the truth regarding with their own true feelings. Everything was almost perfect, if not for the side effect."
"Then why are you developing a truth serum in the first place?"
"It's not that i wanted to, the government asked me. Ideally, they want to use it in rehabilitating criminals, you know living an honest life. Still, it was a shocke to me that you accidentally drink it because of my fault. Sorry..."
"Don't say sorry, you're my mother, sheesh."
"So that means, you're not angry at me anymore?"
"Well, i WAS angry, i thought i lost everything. But if not for the T.R.U.T.H., i would never realize my love for Honoka, so for that part, i was kinda thankful..."
"Maki dear!" She hugged me. Sensing her relief, i guess she was more anxious about this than i was. "I promise Mama will do her best to help you."
"Okay, okay. Mama, you're way too close."
"Oh sorry about that, or maybe you want Honoka honey the one hugging you right now."
[No.]
"Yes. I mean yes- Arghh."
"Ahahaha i guess you're missing your girlfriend. She's a good girl Maki dear, don't keep waiting."
"Yes."
After our conversation, i rushed my way to the second floor. I felt stupid for being excited to meet my girlfriend again, i mean it was only minutes when we got separated. My room was located at the near end of the hallways, so i had to run a few steps more. In front of the door, i caught my breath and fixed my hair before twisting the doorknob.
"Oh Maki-chan." My girlfriend greeted me. She was sitting on the floor with her head resting on my coffee table.
"Honoka..."
"Your room was nice, a bit airy than mine but it definitely had some Maki-feel on it." She smiled and i couldn't stop blushing. I sat across her side of the table, stealing some glances along the way.
"...Thanks..."
"So what should we do now? I don't feel like sleeping yet."
"Well, we can always have se-"BAM! BAM! BAM! I banged my head to the table. That was so close! I almost muttered the 's' word again. Gods, why now? Was it because i was so conscious of her? Back at school and the time when we were walking down the streets, things were so dark and my mind was distracted. It was only now, when i took a good look at her face and gosh she was beautiful. Plus, we were lovers...alone in a room...had nothing to do...and...Arghh. I'm thinking of that again! BAM! BAM BAM!
"...Maki-chan, are you alright? You suddenly..." Honoka scooted towards me and her BOOBS! Two soft 'manjuus' were sandwiching my arm. Combined it with that worried face and it was a killer.
"It-it's fine Honoka. Actually, if i hadn't done this, i wouldn't calm down." I kept averting my gaze yet my eyes always found its ways to ogle at her breasts. It was like her boobs had its own laws of universal gravitation, pulling me...closer...closer...closer...
Stop hands! What are you doing?! I almost groped her like my purple-haired senior. This was bad, real bad, i pulled away my hands at the last second but she was definitely weirded at my actions. "...Maki-chan?"
"Ah Honoka, sorry i have to use the bathroom."
"Ehh but you just got here."
"I know, i promise it'll be quick. So...umm i'll go now."
Leaving the room fast, i ran towards our bathroom. At the sink, i washed my face, hoping to calm down my ever-beating heart and getting this out of my system.
"SHE WAS SO CUTE!"
Honoka, back then i always viewed her as my cheerful airhead leader, but now that she was my girlfriend, she was...pretty like the prettiest of them all. What was that? And was i seeing roses in the background? Was this what people in loved felt all the time? All i know was, i had to figure out a way to control this goddamn side effect.
I lost track of time and spent almost 10 minutes in the bathroom. I facepalmed, all that time thinking and no plan in mind. To begin with, the task seemed impossible. Feeling defeated, i walked towards my room, but then someone shadily came out from on my room's door. It was my mother.
"All set, ehehehe."
"Mama, what are you doing?" Hearing those shrewd laughs of hers, no doubt about it, she was scheming something.
"AH- nothing, nothing much. I just wanna talk to Honoka honey here. Oh look at the time, i have some medical reports to attend to." For some reason, she was somewhat hasty to exit the scene. When she made a safe distance, she spoke again. "Maki-dear, good luck."
Sighing, i paid no attention to her words, i had to apologize to Honoka first after all. As i returned the room, Honoka was facing back at me, holding something. "Sorry for making you wait, Honoka. Sorry."
"No it's fine, your mother was keeping me company. We talked about my mom, Otonokizaka and-" As Honoka turned towards me, my eyes widened in horror. In her hand, there was a picture, a picture that i wanted her to be the last person in the world to find out.
"Honoka, don't touch that! That's dirty!" I immediately pounced her, trying to snatch the picture. It might be forceful, but i was just saving her from a much cruel fate to come.
"Maki-chan, calm down. Why is it dirty anyway? As far as i can see, this photo was beautifully taken." Honoka didn't try to fight back, but she wasn't giving it easily either.
"Just give me that Honoka, i need to burn it down. Trust me, it's for your own sake." We continued to wrestle on floor but my hands kept hitting the air, Honoka had better reflexes than i was. This was bad, i should've disposed of that picture ages ago.
"No, Maki-chan, not until you give me a proper reason."
"Arghh, why are you being stubborn now? I told you that picture needs to be erased, i'm just protecting you!"
"...Sorry..." I was surprised. That wasn't the reply, i was expecting to hear. Honoka...she looked so sad. "I guess i just want to know more about you. I told you right? I'm stupid, i can't really know what you're feeling unless you told me. That's why i'm so happy when you invited me to a sleepover, i thought you'd finally opening up to me, but in the end i got selfish as always. Sorry..."
"NO, you're not an idiot and definitely not selfish, you're the one i loved. It's just...i'm scared...i'm scared that i might do something for you to hate me. That's my biggest fear right now."
"Aww Maki-chan, i would never hate you, i loved you."
"Thank you, Honoka..." Having that reassurance, my head slowly fell to her shoulders. So being in loved, wasn't all happy-happy, there were tough times too. But i think as long we loved each other, for sure we could overcome anything life threw at us.
"So umm...Maki-chan, this picture. Why is it dirty?"
Until now...
As she showed me the photo, sweats formed in my body. The god-forsaken item was a picture of Honoka in her white and blue swimsuit, taken from the time we went to my beach house. "Wha- I can't really tell you..."
"Why?"
"Because, once you know, you'll hate me for sure."
"I won't, trust me."
"You will, i just knew it."
"Maki-chan~" She cupped my both cheeks and look at me seriously in the eyes. "I, too have a secret that i kept from everybody, so i kinda understand how you feel, but Maki-chan trust me, i will never hate you."
Seeing the resolution on her face, i mustered every courage i had left. "You see...it's umm...that picture...that's the picture i used when i masturbate to you."
Now, that i said it, i kinda had a sense of relief. But that was soon changed, when i saw Honoka's expression. She unconsciously dropped the photo...
"HONOKA, I'M SORRY. DON'T LEAVE ME!"
Meanwhile somewhere in the Nikishino household
"May i imply again for the fourth time, but should we really do this? Isn't it supposed to be done out of pure will."
"Of course, Sachi. My plan was perfect. Soon those two will...ehehe..."
"Well, you're the mistress of the house, so i'll follow your orders."
"Trust me, after this Maki-dear and Honoka honey will thank us."