T.U.R.K.S.
by Kal (The song "Bad Boys" is playing)The scene opens with the Tiny Bronco being shot down,moves to show Reno and Rude chasing a criminal,then shows Reno sleeping in the floor of a bar and Rude trying to wake him up,then we see Elena slapping Reno for getting drunk and then the screen goes black and the the white letters T.U.R.K.S. appear on the screen.
Announcer:"Turks it´s filmed on location,with the members of the Turks.All suspects are guilty, otherwise they woudn´t be suspects would they?"
At Cosmo Canyon
10:00 AM
Reno:"Well,today we have a ransom.It seems the grandson of one of Cosmo Canyon´s most respected citizens was kidnapped.The Canyon was closed as soon as posible and nobody has entered or leaved.
(We see Elena talking with Bugenhagen)
Elena:"When was the last time you saw your grandson?"
Bugenhagen:"This morning.He said he was going to see his father Seto, but he hasn´t returned."
Rude:"Have you seen anything suspicious?"
Bugen:"Well,this morning a girl and a boy with a strange looking cat entered the canyon.Could they be the ones after it?"
Reno:"You bet."
Reno was dragging Jesse,James and Meowth (from Pokemon) to where Bugenhagen was.
James:"Hey,let us go.We haven´t done anything."
Reno:Are you telling me you didn´t kidnapped the grandson of Bugenhagen?"
Jesse:"Of course not.We just came here because we wanted a rare Pokemon."
Meowth:"Yes,he was a red lion-thing who could talk."
Bugen:"That´s Nanaki! Where is he?"
Jesse:"It´s in here."
James throwed a Pokeball to the ground and Red appeared.
Red:"What happened?"
Bugen:"Nanaki you´re safe."
Reno:"Well,that solves the case."
Rude:"Let´s go to the bar."
Reno:"Good idea."
Elena:"Sigh.Sorry to dissapoint you guys,but we have a call."
Elena takes out a radio,and the voice of Rufus could be heard.
Rufus:"Bring your lazy butts here right now! We have a situation here at Midgar."
Elena:"What´s the situation?"
Rufus:"It seems Tifa and Aeris are having another fight about who Cloud likes."
Reno:"Damn! Hope it doesn´t ends like the last one."
Rude:"But it was pretty amazing when the Shinra building collapsed."
Rufus:"Enough talking! Come here inmediately."
After three hours of travel they arrive at Midgar.What they see leaves them in shock.Buildings in flames,many people injured in the streets, cars crashing and in the center of it,Tifa and Aeris.
Tifa:"Give it up you &$#/! Cloud is mine."
Aeris:"No!He´s mine,you /!$@."
Reno:"Well,any ideas on how to stop it without any of us dying?"
Rude raised his hand.
Elena:"He said without anyone of us dying,Rude."
Rude lowered his hand.
Reno:Damn! It´s all Cloud´s fault! Only if he could decide who he likes more.
Elena:That guy´s so clueless he wouldn´t even find water if he was a fish.
Rude:Still,maybe he can stop them.
Reno:AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! My head is hurting.I must have an idea.C´mon guys.
Announcer:T.U.R.K.S. will be back shortly.Meanwhile,a litte annoucement from one of our sponsors. Barret:Hi foo´s.Ma name´s Barret Wallace and I´m here today to offer ya all a product that´ll change yer lives.The new English-Ebonics,Ebonics-English dictionary.More than 480 pages full of da meanings of various ebonics words.So you better buy it ´cause if you don´t I´ll make ya sorry foo´.
(End of the commercial)
Tifa and Aeris are still fighting,and it seems there´s no hope,until a black car appears from nowhere and stops near of them.Reno gets out with a speaker.
Reno:Alright!!! Listen to me ladies,you better stop this nonsense inmediately,before someone is hurt.
A trash can smacks Reno in the face and knocks him.
Elena (grabbing the speaker):Hear me,girls.We have here someone you know.
Rude takes Cloud out of the car,he is tied up and with the mouth covered with a sock.
Cloud:MMPPHHH!!!MMMMPPPPHHH!!!
Reno:What did he said?
Rude:I think he said:"Take this sock out of my mouth".
Reno takes the sock out of Cloud´s mouth.Tifa and Aeris stop fighting as they realize Cloud is there.
Tifa:Cloud!! Are you alright? I swear you is all this %)$% fault.
Aeris You were the one who started all of this you &(#$%.
Elena:Alright,stop this! Cloud´s going to tell you who he likes.
Tifa and Aeris:REALLY!!!??
Reno (getting up):C´mon Cloud,tell them and stop this nonsense.
Cloud:Aaahh...well...I...don´t know.
Elena:There must be someone you like more than the other.
Reno (taking out his gun):Damn! I´m going to kill one of them,so tell me who do you like more.
Rude:Reno,don´t!
Reno:If he can´t decide I will decide by him! I´ll kill one of them and the problem will be solved.
Tifa:Cloud I love you! Tell him to kill Aeris! She deserves to die!
Aeris:Cloud don´t! I love you! Tell him to kill that #$/%.
Reno:Quickly! Who do you like?
Cloud:Tifa! Yes,I like Tifa more than Aeris!
Reno lowers his gun,Tifa runs to hug Cloud,who is still untied.Aeris starts to cry and then punches the Shinra building.It starts to tremble and finally collapses.
Rufus:AAAHHHH!!!! Not again!!
Aeris:Ups! Sorry!
Reno:Well,another happy ending.It really makes me think we really do a difference in the world.
Rude:Yeah.Let´s celebrate.To the bar!!!
Elena:Sigh! You guys will never change.
Reno,Rude and Elena walk down the street,as the sun sets behind them.Then the credits start to roll.
Reno as Himself
Rude as Himself
Elena as Herself
Team Rocket:
Jesse as herself
James as herself
Meowth as himself
Other persons:
Bugenhagen as himself
Red XIII as himself
Tifa Lockhart as herself
Aeris Gainsborough as herself
Cloud Strife as The guy with the sock in the mouth.