Disclaimer: I don't anything, so please don't force a banana down my throat.

Ayyy, hello fams.

This is my very first attempt at writing a fanfic (at least a decent one so please be gentle), I'm mostly doing this because I'd rather be reading a good fanfic whether it be crossover or not than writing one, yeah I know, that sounds weird since I'm writing one as of now but my ultimate goal is to encourage people to write their own ideas, something like after finishing reading this, they'll think "Wtf? I can do better than this!" and then having them type away so I can go back to reading my afternoons away.

That and that I have way too much time in my hands. Oh, by the way English isn't my native tongue, so I may screw up some pronunciations or have some grammar issues here and there, so if you'd like to help out just let me know.

"y'all'd've whomstdsoever wants Bepsi" – Human speech

"It's free real state" – Human whispering

'Get fucking bamboozled' – Human thoughts

"KONO DIO DA" – Inorganic/non-human speech/Shouting

'Do you think crabs think that fish can fly?' – Inorganic/non-human thoughts

*Ka-chow* - Sound effects

Epilogue: Grocery genocide.

Saturday, April 23rd 20XX, 9:42 A.M, Earth, Y-City

Y-City, home to two of the largest buildings known to man, and widely known for having the most resilient buildings around, 77% of the manmade structures inside of the city were claimed to be able to withstand an earthquake varying from 9.0 to 9.5 in the Richter scale.

However the buildings stood no chance when a certain bald man wearing a white cape and a yellow hero suit crashed in several of them, cutting through the concrete like a hot, glowing, one thousand degree knife would cut through the author's hopes and dreams.

This man's name was Saitama, he was known as Master, Mr. Saitama, Saitama bro, Baldy etc… but we all know him as the…

CAPED BALDY

The reason he was sailing through the air, and buildings, was because he was caught in an unbelievable strong tornado formed from psychic power, the caster floating in the middle of it wearing ancient red robes and a skull shaped mask, with a metallic thorny crown on top of his hooded head.

"Everyone that has once scorned me, the Great Väinämöinen, shall pay the price with their pathetic lives" The robed man bellowed, his voice horrendously deep, making any bystanders, if there were any, think that this was the result of gargling glass and washing it down with industrial glue.

"And I shall start with your life, bald man…" Väinämöinen hissed to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, the pro hero (somewhat) was still getting smashed in anything that was in his trajectory, however as always, this did little more than get his hero suit dusty, normally Saitama would just vaporize this guy in a single punch, not just because it's kind of his job as of now, but because he said the "B-word", also because he wasn't fond of being thrown around like a ragdoll, tailoring this suit isn't cheap, if you must know.

But right now he was in a train of thought just staring at the void in front of him a shadow covering most of his facial features.

'How did this happen? It was all going so well… but now…' Saitama thought as he clenched his right fist, spotting a torn plastic bag out the corner of his eye, he started to recall all of the events that led him to this mundane situation.

Flashback

30 minutes prior.

Saitama was currently holding a pack of pork chop in front of his face, his mouth slightly agape and his eye brows higher than usual, this brand was an expensive one, but right now there was a discount on the whole store, and since this packet hasn't been sold until now, it got somewhat close to its expiration date, and so it had a special discount on its own, adding up to a whopping 80% overall discount, that and this packs were supposed to have 5 pork chops, but he could make out an extra one.

To the regular salary man or student this was having good luck, but for Saitama, that was a SEVERE understatement, as of now he felt as if he had found some sort of long lost artifact or treasure, realizing this, he quickly pulled the pork chop pack close to him, looking from left to right with a nervous face and sweating bullets, he knew how freaky people would get when they got wind of these kinds of offers, he was one of those people after all, he still remembered that one discount day at the supermarket of S-City, he saw an eighty year old granny lift an entire stall over her head just to get a salmon with 40% discount.

He slowly placed his new found treasure the grocery cart, as if he felt like someone would burst out of the ice from the fish stall and snatch it, after he put it down, he made his way to make line in for the cash registers, wearing a goofy smile on his face.

He was in a really good mood.

Today, he came to Y-City because there was a random Demon class monster causing panic by ruining people's hair and sticking them to the side of buildings with some kind bubble gum.

Since there weren't any heroes around that area that were above C-Class, he decided to drag his ass all the way over there, not that he had anything to do either, he was just waiting for Genos to come back from that Hero Association meeting or whatever it was.

Once he got there it was the same ole jazz, the monster began rambling about how he became like this after eating the bubble gum stuck underneath the desks at school, and after so many years, he became like this, the gross part not being the fact that he licked and chewed bubble gum that was already used.

It was the fact that he used to be a teacher in a girls only school.

Not that Saitama cared, he didn't kink shamed people, and as long as he didn't hurt anyone he didn't give a damn about how this guy passed his time.

Once he got where the monster was the first thing he noticed was that it was surrounded by the police, not that their guns mattered because this monster was basically made out of bubble gum, so bullets had little to no effect on him.

The second thing he noticed was that it had a little boy as a hostage, a mortified mother being held back by the police men from rushing ahead trying to get her child to safety.

'Uh… just in time I guess.' Saitama thought to himself as he started to make his way towards the monster and the child, before an officer with full body gear stopped him.

"Hey! Where do you think you are going, are you blind?! This area is dangerous!" The officer shouted at Saitama, which raised an eyebrow in confusion, wasn't it obvious that he is a hero that came to deal with the monster?

"Hey, what's going on here?" Asked a man in a similar outfit, but without the head gear, a man with a mustache and spiky short hair wearing a trench coat following close behind.

"Oh, chief it's just that this weirdo was about to cross the safety line, seems like he is blind or something." The officer answered his chief, before this one fixed his gaze on him, looking up and down, examining him thoroughly.

'Hmmm? Is this guy a hero? But there aren't any heroes above C-Class around here as of now, and we sure as hell haven't asked for help to the Hero Association, so who the hell is he? Plus he doesn't even look special or anything, he'll be a liability.' The chief thought, finishing his analysis on the caped baldy.

"Look pal, I don't know if you are a hero or just some random weirdo but we got things covered around here so scram." He said while making a brushing motion with his hand and turned to the man behind him.

"Let's go, brother, we can't waste any more time." He said, earning a nod from the said man before giving the hero in front of him one last look.

"Why does it feel like I know him? Wait a moment, THAT FACE! Could it be?" The man thought before widening his eyes and pointing a finger at Saitama.

"Y-you are… that guy that defeated the cop hunter monster right? Back at Z-City" He asked Saitama, which tilted his head to the right as if he was wondering what he was saying before raising both of his eyebrows in realization.

"Oh… you are that one nice police officer that offered me katsudon right?" Saitama said bringing down his fist on his open hand realizing where he had seen this man before. "Hey aren't you the Chief from Z-City? What are you doing here man?."

"Oh right, I'm Chief Kuma, and this right here is my little brother Isamu, this was supposed to be a family visit… but well, but you can see how this has turned out." He said gesturing to the monster while shouting at an officer with a megaphone ordering him to release the child.

"Brother do you know this man? Wait, does that mean that he…?" Isamu asked Chief Kuma, which nodded.

"Yes, this was the man I told you about, he possibly saved my life as well as the lives of my colleagues." Kuma informed his brother which nodded and then apologized to Saitama for belittling him.

"It's alright, just let me take care of that freak and I'll be on my way." Saitama said passing by a bowing Isamu before this one widened his eyes.

"W-Wait! He's got a hostage, you can't…" Isamu tried to stop him but felt the hand of his brother on his left shoulder.

"Don't worry, he won't do anything rash just trust him." He told him, which just earned him a frown from his brother and looked to Saitama walking towards the monster.

He wasn't trying to offend him anymore, and by the way that his brother had spoken about him, he was a top tier hero, both in strength and meaning, as in he wasn't vain like the rest of them, but this was still a delicate situation with the life of a child no older than 6 at stake, if this went sideways…

"HEY! Who are you! Stop right where you are or I'll rip this brat apart!." The monster now turned his attention to Saitama and held the kid closer to him, putting one gooey hand on the kids face which earned a fearful whimper from the kid.

"Mmmphh… mmhpmmy…" The kid's whimpering was muffled as tears of fear rolled down his face. The mother, losing her cool by the second.

"Oh god please, he is just a kid let him go, please!" The mother cried with an equal amount of tears rolling down.

"How about you just put the kid down so we can all go on about our day?" Saitama asked while rubbing the inside of his left ear with his pinky finger.

"Geez, that woman can sure scream…" He thought, maybe instead of being nice he should just get this over with… yeah let's do that.

"Bahahahah! And why woul-" The monster was abruptly cut short as a strong gust of wind forced him to cover his face, when he removed his free hand, he noticed that both the kid and the bald man, instead of being here, where several meters away, in front of that noisy woman.

"Here, I think this is yours." He said handing over the kid to the mother, whom instantly snatched him and embraced him fully. "Just put ice on the bubble gum on his hair and it should come off" He added waving a finger to a few locks sticky with the substance.

"Oh god, thank you so much, thankyouthankyouthankyou." She said repetitively while snuggling her child, both crying in relief.

"Yeah, don't mention it." He said, and as soon as she rose her head up to thank him again, he wasn't there anymore, and was instead in front of the monster once again. How did he get there so fast?.

"W-why y-y-you little piece of… I'll rip you to… ARGGGH…" The monster started rambling about how Saitama should know his place as the useless wretch he was, blah, blah, blah, evil monologue blah, blah, blah. Why did the bad guys always have to be so noisy?

Saitama yawned and moved a lazy gaze to the left and right saying the occasional 'Yeah' and 'Sure' just to make the monster think he was listening, until he caught glimpse of something.

There was a poster about a grand sale going on at the supermarket a couple of block away.

Now mind you, this wasn't a small sale, or a regular sale.

It was a GRAND SALE my dude, there is a difference.

And by the looks of it, it was ending in a couple of hours, so he had to get this over with as soon as possible.

"BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T NEED A HOSTAGE, I'll JUST WIPE YOU ALL OFF RIGHT NOW!" The bulbous monster stated, as he arched back, racing both of his arms as they wriggled and grew in size, his intention was to liberate a massive amount of scorching mass that would effectively dissolve all organic matter in the whole area.

"This is what you get normi-" He started shouting as he brought down his arms, but before they could reach the ground, a fist with an impossible amount of strength and speed behind it collided with his face, effectively blowing the monster up and having what would be considered his 'entrails' smeared across the street and the adjacent buildings.

Everyone got silent, all the while the officers where barking orders to get cover or get somewhere safe, the mother of the child preparing herself for the worst and tried to shield her child with her own body, but when it all unfolded like this, everyone got quiet, even the chirping birds had gone silent, the shockwave form the punch rattling their poor little brain and killing them midflight, unfortunately.

What just happened? Was the monster weak after all? No that wasn't possible, it was basically immune to the bullets the officers shot at him, as well as grandees and all kinds of firepower they had, but then wouldn't that make it immune to Kinect damage as well? Was he an Esper?

"Well, that's that, you can take it from here guys." Saitama said as he waved a hand and started walking his way downtown, to the supermarket.

This shook Chief Kuma out of his amazement, sure he had already seen what this man was capable of doing, but it still got to him anyway.

"W-wait don't go yet, I've got something to say!" He screamed as he started to chase after Saitama, this made him stop on his tracks and turn around.

"Uh? What is it? There's more monsters? Or… do you want me to pay for the damages…?" Saitama asked, his face turning grim and pale at the last question.

"Uh? Oh no! Nothing of the sort, it's just that the other time, back at Z-City, you left after the whole monster incident so we couldn't properly thank you… If it isn't much to ask I'd actually appreciate it if you could come to the department back at Z-City so we could all properly thank you for your help, Saitama-kun." Kuma requested, hoping that Saitama would agree to his request.

'That and a lot of the rookies keep hounding me for an autograph from you' He thought bitterly, he didn't have anything against this man, he was incredibly grateful to him, but he was cool too, how come none of the rookies ever asked for an autograph or a photo?

"Oh yeah, sure, I'll try to remember, look I really don't mean to be rude but I've got to meet up with someone so…" He said while pointing down the street, towards the supermarket, don't get him wrong though, he rarely gets something such as a 'Thank you' even more so that he had a bad rep, so he was grateful and all, but the longer he stayed here the less he would be making use out of that sale… What? He has priorities…

This made Chief Kuma chuckle, even though this man had saved him and the people around him twice by now, he wasn't making it a big deal out of it, other people would use this opportunity to gain fame or favors, but he was nonchalant about it, as if this was a common occurrence, which meant that he was a great hero that saved lives on a daily basis, or was incredibly humble, or maybe both.

"I understand Saitama-kun, please don't let me hold you back any longer, and please, do be careful." He said while bowing deeply and then straightening himself back up, walking back towards his brother.

'Hmm, what a swell guy, other heroes would've shouted at me for 'stealing their kill'. Heh.' Saitama thought as he started to make his way to his destination.

Behind him, Isamu and Chief Kuma were both holding a conversation about the events that just happened.

"Who is that guy? How come we don't know of a guy that seemingly just gets rid of monsters in one punch? He is such a freak…" Isamu questioned his brother as he looked at around as the officers tried to keep the bystanders away from the remains of the monster.

"He isn't a freak Isamu… He is a hero" Kuma said as he closed his eyes and smiled.

Out of nowhere a van drifted its way out of a corner and came to a screeching halt before opening the doors, a woman with a microphone and a blue suit and a boy with a camera came out, these was the local news channel, obviously.

"Crap, are we late?, are we… sweet the body is still there, we still have time, Rob fire her up" The woman said after spotting the remains of the monster and started to breath in and out while the camera man prepped the camera up.

"We are up." He told her, then she smiled and turned to the camera.

"Good day, citizens of Y-City, as of now we are in the area which the monster had taken a hostage and demanded 'three thousand school desks from female only schools' but as we can see, the police force has already taken care of the problem." She said gesturing to the pink matter that was smeared all over.

"Officer Isamu, as the Chief Officer of Y-City, What are your thoughts? And how did you defeat a Demon Class monster without the help of a hero?" She asked before shoving the microphone on Isamu's face.

"W-wait what? N-no we didn't defeat it it was…" He said while turning and pointing down the road where Saitama had walked down, but it was empty, the hero was long gone.

"Oh, don't be so modest officer, it's not every day the Police force can solve something like this" The smug reported said, while putting an emphasis on the last part, which earned a displeased frown from Isamu.

"Anyways, on other news there are still rumors of people mysteriously disappearing and pentagrams appearing in the slums, people have begun to create a rumor called "The Pentagram Occultist" whom they believe is the responsible of this occurrences." She added before ending her section, the camera man gave her the thumbs up that meant they were done and she slumped her shoulders.

"Ok, let's go get coffee, you invite." She proposed earning a groan from the boy.

"I hate the media, I really do" Isamu said as he looked at the news crew get in the van.

"I do too, brother, but there isn't really anything we can do, now can we?" Kuma said, trying to comfort his little brother.

"I know… I know" Isamu sighed as he looked at the van speed away.

'I really need some coffee too now…' He thought to himself, there was going to be a pile of paperwork at his desk later on.

Back at the super market.

It was Saitama's turn in the line now, he patiently waited while the cashier scanned all the stuff he got, he didn't just get the pork chop, he also got vegetables, fruits, milk cheese etc.

And the best part was that the deals they were making was basically stealing, after calculating the price in his head, he found out that he was going to be able to buy a month's worth of groceries for one third of the price!

Eventually, came the moment no one likes, the moment to pay up of course, but he was in a good mood so he didn't care.

And so he started to make his way home with his grocery bags, without a care for the world there really wasn't a single thing that could take away the happiness he was feeling.

Or so he thought.

A speeding lamp post made its way towards his face, instinctively he dodged it by moving his head with a deadpan to the side, making the light post smash against a wall of a building in the background.

"Uh? What was that about?" He asked to no one in particular as he turned around to look at the lamp post lodged in the wall of a building.

"Hmmm, Impressive… but it doesn't matter." A deep raspy voice said, Saitama looked back and it was some weird hobo guy in tattered red robes and a Halloween mask floating in the air.

"Aren't you too old to be asking for trick or treat? And it's April anyways, it's still a long way from-" Saitama didn't finish his sentence as the man extended an open palm hand and red lighting came out of it, directed to his head.

However it didn't have any effect as it just bounced back to the caster, sending him crashing against and unfinished building.

You see, arcane arts and Esper abilities have a few things in common, both are affected by will power, an Esper can't just control the energy of someone whose willpower is stronger than them, and the arcane magic is basically the same, both of them are directly linked to the power of will of an individual, that it's why the weaker arcane casting just cancelled itself as soon as it made contact with Saitama, returning to its point of origin.

Another aspect of the arcane arts is that it is of a chaotic nature, just like light travels in a straight line, and radio signals in waves, this kind of force known as "magic" doesn't follow a pattern but rather all of them.

But none of that matters right now.

'W-what… just happened?' The robed man asked as he forced himself up, his body aching not from him crashing in a building, but from having his own spell reverted.

'This man repelled my incantation just like that? Is he an Esper? I don't sense magical energy coming from him… Is he from the Hero Association? Heh, perfect.' The man thought to himself, it seemed as if his plan was going to become 4 steps shorter because of this encounter.

"So, after all this time the Hero Association deems me worthy of their time? Oh, how flattering…" He said, dusting himself off and waving his hand in the air, various objects such as pipes and tools floated in the air with a red outline.

"What are you talking about old man? I just came here to buy stuff…" Saitama said not paying attention to the display of power this homeless man was trying to do.

"Don't try to make a fool out of me I know that the Hero Association sent you to investigate the cause of the pentagrams and the kidnappings, but I'm sorry to inform you that you are destined to fail." He said while clenching his fist, all the floating objects turned towards the caped man and launched themselves all at the same time towards him, leaving no time for reaction.

Or that was what the robed man thought, as Saitama just effortlessly danced in between of the barrage of projectiles, not a single one grazing him nor the shopping bags.

'W-What?! Who the hell is this guy? There is no way a this guy is a mere small fry… Did they send an S-Class after me? Mhmm That either complicates things or improves them…' The man thought, taking the life essence of a talented individual such an S-Class to further improve his own power would certainly be an unexpected boon, but a welcome one to be sure.

"Yo, what is your problem man, this is the second time you've attacked me… I don't have any spare change so just stop Saitama said slightly slouching, getting slightly annoyed by the persistence of this hobo looking guy.

"Keep acting though all you want, little man, you've proven that you are no small fry, but that makes no difference, all I have to do is apply more power than usual… NO ONE SHALL STAND IN THE WAY OF THE ALL POWERFUL VÄINÄMÖINEN." The hobo now known as 'Väinämöinen' said, throwing both of his arms to each side, the same red outline surrounding him and lifting him off the ground and summoning a strong gust of wind that started to lift all kind of small objects in the vicinity.

'Banana Money? What kind of name is that? Still not as bad as Caped Baldy though…" Saitama thought, frowning at the last part as he started picking his nose, totally unimpressed by Väinämöinen display of power.

"*Sigh*, what's with psychics and trying to attack me with pebbles and rocks anyways, seriously it's such waste…" Saitama sighed, he remembered that as a kid he always wished he was born as an Esper, not to fight monsters really, but to move objects such as the T.V remote or other objects without having to really move, later on in his life, this was replaced with the wish to acquire the powers of invisibility or mind control when he entered puberty, but that was part of a dark uncomfortable past he really didn't wish to think back on.

"SILENCE FILTHY WRETCH! Through my whole life, all I've known is pain and suffering, with my little sister as the only person I could really trust! My dying because our father worked her to death soon after birthing us and my father being a low life that didn't know anything else than to drink, gamble and beat us until HE passed out…" Väinämöinen started to narrate his hardships in life and how that all his friends since a young age were sorrow and trauma, losing Saitama's interest, whom had the attention span of a lobster, after he started talking about gambling or something.

'Man I wonder if Genos is back home already, I bet he doesn't have to put up with this kind off crap… S-Class privileges…' Saitama's eyes drifted to the side, soon his mouth started watering as he thought of the Hot Pot they were going to eat once he got home.

"But none of that matters now, and it will never matter anymore, for I intend to claim that which is rightfully MINE!" As Väinämöinen finished his monologue he pointed a single finger towards Saitama, albeit a little lower, this had no meaning whatsoever, but to Saitama it did, because it looked as if he was signaling towards his shopping bags, this made him snap out of his culinary fantasy and change to a face of horror.

This man knew what he was packing! It all made sense, he was a hobo after all, so he had seen Saitama getting so many goods and stalked him all the way here to try to mug him, but Saitama was having none of it, he changed his face to a more serious one and placed the bags behind him.

"And do you think you will get away with it?!" Saitama barked as he clenched a fist, if Saitama had payed attention to this man's presentation, then he'd know that he didn't wish to procure his items, but rather to 'start the world anew' by changing every human in the face of the earth into a crustacean like sentient creature and claim his rightful place as the god-emperor of mankind.

As to why he wanted to rule over a bunch of crab people don't ask.

Väinämöinen started cackling at this "FOOL!" He bellowed and made a violent sweeping motion with his right arm, summoning an unbelievably strong current of wind that would usually rend the flesh from bone of mortal men, grabbing Saitama and his bags and lifting them off the sidewalk, however he didn't plan to hurt Saitama with this move, this was merely to immobilize him in the air as he bombarded him with spells.

Then he started muttering some sort of incantation while doing weird motions and gestures with his hands, three pentagrams appeared around him and started to slowly spin, out of the pentagrams grotesque winged creatures wearing human like faces, sporting 9 inch claws, their skin more akin to tar or oil, dripping off them into the ground dissolving anything it came in contact with.

"This is what awaits you hero, soon you shall to fall before me and become my eternal servant, go my vassals! Bring me his head!" The mage ordered the creatures, all of them started to fly towards Saitama, unaffected by the strong currents of wind going on around them, only having the occasional blob of 'skin' to be ripped off and fly away into the air.

"Oi! Don't get that nasty stuff in my suit! You think it's easy to get those kinds of stains off?!" Saitama said bending his body to the right dodging a blob of the dark substance while trying to get a hold of his groceries.

This attempt was cut short however, as one of the creatures lunged forward sensing an opening and attempted to dig it's claws in his arms, however it missed and ended up ripping the shopping bags open, spilling all the contents out as they lazily floated in the current of air.

"H-hey what?! Stop that you... I SAID STOP!" Saitama shouted, getting more and more irritated by the second, he disliked insects, the small flying ones to be specific, so these guys kind of rubbed him the wrong way.

'Argghh okay you know what? Screw it I can always wash my suit later…" Saitama thought as he finally decided to end this already, he had been holding back because he didn't really want to get his suit dirty, but these guys were on his goddamn nerves already, as all three of the creatures dashed forward to attack, Saitama slapped each one of them once, to the untrained eye, they had spontaneously exploded before making contact to Saitama.

This however was a miscalculation on Saitama's part, because while thanks to the wind and the direction they were flying made the substance flow away from him, they did found its way towards his groceries, splashing them and starting to dissolve them, all Saitama could do is watch wide eyed as his precious food got disintegrated into nothing.

Meanwhile Väinämöinen was staring in shock and disbelief, these were tier nine hell spawns 'Decaying Moths' like all hell spawns, their body usually destroyed the living, so physical combat against them was basically useless, but they had seemingly exploded before even reaching this mysterious bald man.

"W-what how did he… so he is either an Esper or is adept with arcane arts… This are dire news indeed, I may be in trouble, but if I could capture the soul of a powerful Esper or Caster, now that would be extremely beneficial…"Väinämöinen muttered to himself, this man was exceptional, and indeed, if he was to possess the soul of a man such as him, he'd get a huge power boost however he still couldn't perceive any magical or psychic waves coming out of him, other than the ones all living things had.

Väinämöinen didn't really notice that Saitama was currently in a catatonic state due to the trauma of watching his dear food get murdered in front of his own eyes, and not being able to stop it, Väinämöinen took out a small silver ornamented bell and rang it twice, it's chime echoing through the city and leaving an ominous feeling lingering in the ambience.

On the ground below, a black pentagram, unlike the ones so far, appeared, a huge arachnid like creature emerged, with rugged shiny black chitin, three red dots on its tail and a single, long vertical red line on each leg, it's four arms looked like that of a praying mantis, with jagged razor sharp protrusion, it's face was of an black human skull of the same material, the jaw split in two with two maxillapeds [1] sticking out.

Meanwhile Saitama was still drifting around in the air, wondering about the meaning of life and why are we all 'here', however his train of existential crisis thoughts were stopped as an acrid stench hit his nose, he pinched his nose and frowned, identifying an oversized spider as the origin of the stench.

'Okay time to make this douchey old man pay for what he did to my stuff' He thought, as he planted his feet on a nearby building and launched himself towards Väinämöinen, destroying a building and sending a shockwave that dispersed the strong currents of wind and destroyed some nearby buildings.

"Lilith! Go forth and deal with that man!" He roared and the creature known as Lilith complied, jumping from building to building towards a speeding Saitama.

'*sigh* It's over, Lilith is on par with Dragon disaster level monsters, even if he could match her I'll have enough time to…' Väinämöinen's train of thought was cut short as Lilith finally pounced towards her pray, but instead of digging her claws and injecting powerful venom into him, she seemingly bounced off him as a pebble would bounce from a tank and crashed on a nearby billboard.

"WHAT THE F-" Was all he could manage to shout before Saitama finally got within arm's reach and backhanded him across the face, the impossible amount of strength shattering his protective barrier and sent him flying down the street before crashing into a concrete wall.

"You owe me a month's worth of groceries, jackass!" Saitama screamed as he started to walk towards the now barely conscious Väinämöinen, it was unlikely he had survived, but he still needed to get payment for his stuff.

'Would this be considered theft? I mean he did attack me and destroyed my stuff, so he kind of has to pay back, right? Mmmh… oh, he is alive.' Saitama finally reached the groaning Väinämöinen, this actually surprised him as he had met very few individuals that could actually take a punch.

'W-what happened? one second I was standing down the street… a-and now…' Väinämöinen tried to get up but his left arm gave out with a sickening crack and fell to the ground coughing up blood and shaking all over from the pain 'Crap t-this is bad, if I pass out I'll truly… I-I've got to…'He thought as he reached inside his robe with a shaky hand.

"Hey old man did you learn your lesson? I kind of feel bad but you deserved it man, you can't just go around doing that kind of stuff." Saitama said as he crouched down, it seemed as if he was looking for his cellphone or something… crap was he going to call the cops?! But he didn't have anything to fear right? He did after all attack him first…

"I didn't want to have to use th-Ack! *Cough*… but you leave me no choice…" Väinämöinen muttered as he grabbed hold of what he was looking for, the slender cold cylindrical like shape in between his index finger and thumb.

"Mmmh, what's that? Speak up man…" Saitama said as he leaned closer to him, then Väinämöinen whipped his hand out of his robe directing a pointy, tube shaped crystal towards Saitama's face, naturally before it could reach him a red gloved hand stopped him with an iron grip.

"Uh? What's this… are you giving me this as payment? Look dude I'm not interested in your family's heirloom" Saitama said as he cocked an eyebrow and examined the funny looking crystal. 'Besides I'd have to take it to a pawn shop and they would probably try to rip me off…'.

However Väinämöinen's aim wasn't to neither attempt to stab Saitama in the face with the crystal nor to try to plea for his life, but rather, to get it close enough to him, then he muttered a quick activation incantation, and inside of the crystal a rainbow colored smoke appeared, making Saitama's eyes open slightly, was it one of those jewels that could tell your mood?.

Then the crystal snapped in half, the galaxy looking smoke rising up to Saitama's face, whom breathed in a little bit of it and sneezed because of it.

'Y-YES! I've won!' Väinämöinen thought in joy, you see this crystal was no ordinary crystal, it was a soul prism, if living beings expired near it, it would then 'trap their soul' for a lack of a better word, and this one in particular had been fed souls of all the people Väinämöinen had kidnapped before the arrival of this hero, after the prism gains enough power, it can be given a purpose, like linking a spell or incantation to it, which will be boosted greatly because of the souls, the particular spell that was linked to this one was one that would bend one's will and turn them into the caster's slave.

But he had made one fatal mistake, and that is that he hadn't read the warnings that come after the instructions of every spell.

In this particular case, no matter how many souls were used, nor how powerful they were, they wouldn't provide even the slightest power to affect this being, and when a complex spell like this one, coupled with the immense power it was being used with, was given an impossible task such as this one, it couldn't end pretty, because magic was a chaotical force.

First, as if in protest towards the caster of being given an impossible job, the spell burned Väinämöinen soul, he didn't even have time to register anything as it just disappeared, leaving his body like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

Then, the power behind his soul was harnessed by the remnants of the crystal, boosting its power immensely, and since it was so charged up, the spell couldn't just dissolve like a weaker version of it would, all this magical power had to go somewhere, and since it couldn't complete its original task, it made one of the only things that magic out of control could do.

It created a portal in the shape of a two hundred meter vortex.

The portal itself took ahold of everything it considered 'living' or was a source of psychic/magical waves, so naturally this included both Saitama and the arachnid monster known as 'Lilith', and after a couple of seconds the vortex blinked out of existence with a bright flash.

To Saitama it looked as if he was going down a really freaky water slide, displaying ever changing colors that he had never seen and sounds that the human ear couldn't perceive, eventually, when the portal deemed that it had used up all of the magical power it had at first, it dropped the passengers in a location it had deemed acceptable, mind you that portals deem a location 'acceptable' as long as it is empty space.

So it gently ejected them a little bit above a random forest, and by a little it means three kilometers and a half from the ground and by gently it means that they were shot out at supersonic speeds.

The monster flew in a direction opposite from Saitama, as he crashed and went through a small mountain, exiting on the opposite side of it, his body smashing boulders and trees alike, until eventually he lost momentum and slid across the ground, stopping right next to a small creek.

Saitama just laid there for a moment, in a star position with his arms and legs stretched, looking at the sky as the clouds lazily moved with the wind, without a care in the world.

'And it all started as such a nice day… Seriously, why does all of this crap always happens to me? And now I'll have to have my suit tailored, again…' Saitama complained in his mind as he brought up his left arm in front of his face to see what damage his hero suit had sustained, but besides a few stains of dirt it was actually in good condition, expect that it looked like it was stretched, the fabric that should've been nearly skin tight was now loose as if it was a few sizes bigger.

"What the? Did that weirdo do thi…" Saitama asked himself but stopped, and looked around as he heard the voice of what he thought was a kid, but then the realization hit him.

"Why do I sound like in my teens?" He asked himself as he rubbed his throat and stood up, this is weird, was this one of those dreams where you are actually aware that you are dreaming? What's it called again… lucid dreaming?

"Where am I anyways? There aren't any forests in this city… did I end up in another one?" he said as he scratched the side of his head, and then stopped, feeling something in his head being pulled and friction on his glove.

"W-wait… could it be?" Saitama asked as he peeled his eyes like never before and brought both of his hands up to his head, grabbing handfuls of what he craved the most in the world.

He franticly looked around, for something like a mirror or anything that he could use to see his reflection and spotted the creek, and at a blindly fast speed appeared in front of it as he leaned in and gazed upon his reflection.

Saitama could feel the tears of joy swelling up in the corners of his eyes as he met his own, albeit a bit younger, reflection of himself, but with HAIR, his shaky hands gently grabbing black locks of hair.

But before he could express his joy, a single strand of hair fell, followed by another one and another one, until all of his hair had fallen off on the water, flowing down stream away from him.

Saitama was just frozen in place, the tears of joy that were about to roll down his face magically vanished and his face filled with joy was replaced with his trademark deadpan pace, a very noticeable tick appearing on his forehead.

"Okay, but why though?" He asked no one in particular as he looked up to the sky, imagining some kind of divine entity laughing it's ass off at the prank the just pulled on him.

Before he could continue, his train of thought was interrupted by a loud crashing sound in the distance, followed by a woman's scream, from what his ears picked up.

'Uh, sounds like someone is in danger, might as well go check that out, is it a bear attacking someone? Man, now I want to eat bear hot pot…' Saitama thought to himself as he got up from his crouching position and then darted off at impossible speeds towards where he thought the sound had come from.

-A bit earlier, in the same area-

"*Sigh* this sucks, why'd they have to send me on MY free day?!" Yu Takeyama complained as she walked through the forest, a GPS in hand with a set location and a radio attached to her waist.

Supposedly, a bright flash and some high energy readings appeared out of nowhere and disappeared as soon as they had showed up, so naturally this required investigation, but what she didn't understand was why she was the one doing it, a little while ago she was enjoying her free day in her apartment and then she received an urgent call from her office, telling her that she had to investigate some kind of phenomenon and blah, blah, blah.

"Why didn't they send Kamui anyway? Isn't he part tree? Can't he just ask the trees what happened here and be done with it?" Yu continued complaining, her feet were hurting by now, and they told her that she couldn't just transform and walk towards her destination, as that would destroy the ecosystem of the area.

"*Static* I can hear you smart ass, and they didn't send me because I was busy with someone else… plus it doesn't even work like that" The radio seemed to have been on, so Kamui Woods heard all that Yu had been complaining about.

"You were busy?! I was busy too, you know?!" Yu snapped back at the radio.

"*Static* Slacking off isn't considered being 'busy' Mt. Lady" Kamui retorted saying the last part in a mocking tone.

"Whatever, this is just a waste of time, odds are it's just a bunch of kids with flashy quirks and fireworks showing off…" Yu said as she skipped on top of some rocks in a stream to avoid getting her feet wet.

"*Static* Yeah, and odds are you are just angry that there aren't any camera men to follow you around, even if it was just some kids with fireworks that's enough reason to stop them, those things could start a fire and burn the whole place." Kamui answered poking at the side of Yu that enjoyed being the center of attention, this however struck a nerve on her.

"Ugh! You know what I don't care, I'm turning this thing off." She snapped back as she took the radio in her hands and fiddled with it, not finding a 'on/off' button she opted to just take out the batteries.

"*Static* Wait! Don't do that, we need to keep communications in case some-." Kamui couldn't finish before Yu had taken out the batteries from the back of the device and threw them away.

"*Tch* The nerve on this guy, just wait until I get back and I shove my foot up his... uh?" She trailed off as she tried to move a branch out of the way, but felt that something sticky had attached itself to her glove.

As she moved her head to the side to see what was on her glove, her eyes peeled open to an impossible size and then screeched in a girly manner, a very big cobweb was stuck to her hand, she HATED spiders.

"Ew, ew, ew, get it off!" She screamed as she flailed her arm up and down very quickly until the cobweb was detached from her hand, but because of this she stumbled a couple of steps back and fell on her back.

"Ouch, god damn spiders, I hope it didn't get on my hair." She said as she got up, but instead of seeing just trees and the local flora, she was greeted by trees filled with impossibly big cobwebs, the only way these things could get this big, is if a spider as big as a truck had made them, that sent chills down her spine.

But what had caught her eye were several big cocoons stuck to a cobweb to her left, her hero instincts kicked in, thinking that a human was in trouble, so she pushed her fears aside and rushed to it, and started to peel away in hopes that she could get these people out of here before whatever did this came back.

But when she finally removed enough cobwebs, she wasn't greeted by a human face, but by the decaying face of a half-eaten bear, the stench finally hit her nostrils as she clasped a hand over her mouth and took several steps back.

"Ugh… W-what is going on…? T-this is bad, I go to ask for help." She muttered to herself as she tried to activate the radio, but it didn't work, her fear making her completely forget that she had removed the batteries a while ago.

"Crap… the batteries, I have to go back-…" She said as she turned around to go back the way she came from, but came face to face with what she could only call an obsidian black skull, two pincer like fingers coming out of its mouth and bright yellow acid dripping from its mouth.

She couldn't even scream as she stood there petrified by this image, her instincts yelling at her to back off and run, it didn't matter where as long as it was away from this thing, but her legs didn't even budge.

And as if on cue the beast lunged forward, its talons stretched towards her, her body finally became able to move once again and she jumped to the side, screaming in terror as that thing smashed itself against the side of the mountain, sending deadly shrapnel and rocks flying everywhere.

This was her chance to run away, she had to run as fast as her legs could carry her and come back with reinforcements, maybe a huge flamethrower while she was at it, and so she darted towards the way she had come from.

But momma spider wasn't having none of it, she wouldn't let her prey get away that easily, so it shot a string of cobweb and stuck it to a tree, forming a string in front of Yu's path, she didn't have time to react and jump over it and so she tripped and fell to the ground with a loud thud, spraining her ankle.

She didn't even hiss in pain as it was being numbed by the amount of adrenaline being pumped through her blood and looked back to the spider, how she just wished that she had a giant bug spray or a giant magazine or…

Oh wait.

Her quirk was to increase her size, she could just squash this thing out, she felt so dumb now, but the fear was clouding her mind so she wasn't thinking logically, as long as tree boy didn't find out everything should just be fine.

And so she increased her size and had a smug look on her face as she now looked down on the bug that had been tormenting her.

"Yeah, not so though now buddy, right?" She said as she raised her foot and brought it down on the spider, but instead of being squashed it darted off at high speeds, making Yu lose track of it in an instant.

Then she heard a hiss to her right and saw that the thing was on the side of the mountain, and then spit a short stream of yellow acid at her face, and by instinct covered herself with her right arm.

The stream splashed over her forearm and started eating away the fabric of her suit and burning her skin, also working as a mild neuro toxin that should've paralyzed her in her normal size, but due to her increased size, this just made her revert to her regular size with a numb right arm.

'Oh god, what do I do now, I can't use my quirk, and I can't run away… i-is this it?" Yu thought, thinking that because of her reckless actions this was a dead end, maybe if she hadn't taken out the batteries off her radio, help would've been sent her way, but now she was going to die alone and nobody would know how she had disappeared.

The creature leaped down onto the ground and crept up to her, looking down at her it rose its frontal talons with the intention of delivering a fatal blow.

All she could do was close her eyes and do a final, desperate attempt to survive.

"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE!" She screamed, hoping somebody in the vicinity with super human speed or maybe a teleportation quirk would hear her and come to save her, but deep down she knew this wasn't the case, so all she did was shut her eyes and wait for the inevitable, she just hoped it wouldn't hurt.

And then she felt a strong gust of wind flew past her and a loud booming sound was heard.

And then the seconds passed but the blow never came, and she was still alive, or at least that's what she thought, she could feel the ground beneath her, and she was still breathing, she could feel the warm tears of fear rolling down her cheeks but she was too scared to open her eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" An unfamiliar male voice asked her, she tried to answer but all that came out was a small whimper, it was understandable, she had a close call a couple of seconds ago after all.

"It's okay, that spider thing is gone now, it's not going to hurt you anymore." He said again, this time she tried to open her eyes slowly and looked up, her breath slowly steadying itself.

What she saw was what she would call a kid, although he was wearing a silly looking yellow costume that looked too big for him with red gloves and boots, but what really caught her attention was his right arm, it was covered with blood all the way to his shoulder, smoke coming out of his fist.

Before she could ask if he was okay, even though he should be the one asking that, something behind him caught her eye, it was the corpse of the thing that had been attacking her, more than two thirds of it were missing as if it was hit by a train and there was a huge red splatter smeared across the side of the mountain.

This kid, whoever he is, had come out of nowhere and saved her by what she could imagine was punching that thing into oblivion, and came out unscathed, but that wasn't possible right? The only person that could probably pull that off were veteran pro heroes and All Might right?

However this kid had just done that and to top it all off his facial expression was that of a bored person! How could he be so calm and collected after all this?!

Her eyes slowly trailed off his face involuntarily and went up to his head, this kid was completely bald! Well, not that it mattered as there were weirder looking people out there because of their quirks.

They just sat there staring at each other for what seemed to be a full minute until the kid spoke up.

"Oi, are you looking at my head?" He asked as a few beads of sweat rolled down his temple.

"Uh? Oh wait n-no I wasn't! It's just that… What's your name?" Yu said panicking, unintentionally she had been staring at him for the past minute and didn't want to make the kid feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, my name's Saitama, what's yours?" He said as he squatted down to get on her eye level.

"You don't know me?" She asked, she was one of the top ranking heroes in popularity polls, especially between the teenagers, she didn't know why but she felt sad because this kid apparently didn't know about her, which was weird, because she rarely cared about what people thought about her.

He shook his head.

"My name is Yu Takeyama you know?! Mt. Lady!" She exclaimed, trying to see if that rung a bell on this kid's head.

"Mmh, nope never heard of you." He said as he scratched the side of his head.

"Oh, I see…" She said in a defeated tone as the knot on her chest grew bigger and looked down to the ground.

"Can you walk?" Saitama asked as he pointed his gloved finger to her ankle "It looks injured, so I'm just asking."

"Oh, I think it's sprained…" She said as she looked back at her ankle, she was careless…

"Do you know which way you came from?" Saitama asked as he got up, earning a nod from her "Want me to carry you?"

"W-what? I-I mean sure, w-why not…" Yu answered as she blushed slightly.

Saitama then carried her in his back as she tried not to press herself to hard on this kid's back, very aware of the effect her 'assets' had on men, especially teenagers.

"Okay then, let's go then." He said as he started to walk in the direction he was given, the walk was mostly silent except for the occasional question as to where to go and now.

"Oh by the way, I was meaning to ask you, are these yours?" He said as he reached behind his belt and pulled out two triple A batteries.

"Oh yes, they are from my radio!" She said as she took them and placed them back in the back of the radio.

"You know you shouldn't just throw them like that, batteries are a hazard for nature, just like plastic bags." He scolded her, this kid sounded just like Kamui for a second there.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry…" She said feeling rather sluggish, the effects of the adrenalin wearing off and she now felt the brunt of the ordeal she just went through, feeling as if she hadn't slept in days, she rested her head against the shoulder of Saitama and she drifted away into a fatigue induced sleep.

"Uh? Oh, fell asleep uh?" He said as he looked back to her and continued walking, she was clinging to him really tightly now, he didn't found this strange though, in the past when he saved people, mostly kids they would do this, usually out of fear that he might leave them alone before they got to safety, other times they just got clingy subconsciously, so it didn't really bother him.

Eventually he found the exit of the forest and saw the highway, and if as on cue, the radio on Yu's waist came to life.

"*Static* Takeyama are you there?! Takeyama what was that explosion just now?!" The voice of some guy came out of the other end.

"Uhhh… hello?" Saitama answered.

"*Static* Wait, who are you? Where is Takeyama?!" The guy started screaming again, this was getting annoying.

"Okay buddy calm down, if you mean the blond lady she just passed out, she has a sprained ankle and a burn but other than that she should be fine." Saitama answered once again as he started to follow the road in hopes to find a city or a checkpoint or something.

"*Static* She's injured?! You… If you did something to her I'll…" The guy starting threating Saitama.

"I didn't do anything to her, she was getting attacked by some big spider so I saved her, that's all there is to it, who are you anyway?" Saitama asked making out the shapes of buildings in the distance.

"*Static*… I'm Kamui Woods… Who are you?" Kamui answered.

"My name is Saitama, listen buddy, I need to drop the lady off somewhere safe as I got to do some stuff, do you know where the nearest hospital is?" Saitama asked Kamui, not really minding if he was to carry miles away, but still she needed to get checked in case she was seriously injured or something.

"*Static* There should be a hero checkpoint nearby where she picked up her radio and GPS, go there and the people in charge will take care of her, also don't leave, I'm making my way there." Kamui said before finally turning off his radio.

"Wait, what do you mean by that? Why do I have to wait there…? Hello?" Saitama said but no reply came back… whatever he'll just drop this girl there and then he'll go looking for a Hero Association branch of the nearby city… Speaking of that this lady looked like a pro hero, what rank was she?

After a couple of minutes, Saitama finally arrived the hero checkpoint he was talked about, it looked like a police station but without the police cruisers and was outside of the city.

'I wonder if they have a vending machine around here' Saitama thought to himself as the sliding doors of the building opened and made his way inside, approaching a lady behind a counter too busy with something on her computer screen to notice the kid stained in blood carrying a famous pro hero on his back.

"*Ahem* Excuse me, where do I put her?" Saitama said trying to get the attention of the receptionist, once she looked up the color of her face was drained and her eyes peeled open in horror.

"Oh my god! Mt. Lady, quick we need help over here!" She exclaimed as she pushed a button on her desk. Then out of the door on the opposite side of the room four persons came out, two of them being nurses in blue outfits and the other two were dressed in black.

"What happened to her?!" One of the nurses asked taking a hold of Yu without really asking Saitama to let her down first, she had to ask help from her partner to rip her away from him as her unconscious body was holding tightly to Saitama.

"So, you got it from here right? All right, in that case I'll bounce." He said as he turned around walking towards the exit before one of the men in black suits placed his hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"You aren't going anywhere kid, first of all why are you covered in blood" The man said and huffed through his nose trying to intimidate Saitama, now that Saitama had turned around to see him he looked like a bull, even with the nose ring and everything.

"Give it a break, Sullivan, the kid just carried Mt. Lady all the way up here, he must be tired, why don't you follow us buddy, we'll give you a soda." The smaller man next to him said, this one had green slit eyes and had small spikes made out of what looked to be bones poking out of his fore arms and above his eyebrows.

"Uh, why not, I'm thirsty anyways." Saitama said as he slipped out of Sullivan's iron grip as if it was nothing, which earned a confused look from this, and followed the smaller looking man deeper in the building.

Elsewhere, with Kamui Woods.

Shinji Nishiya, otherwise known as Kamui Woods, was hastily making his way towards the hero dispatch center where Takeyama was supposed to be, at first he had been jumping from rooftop to rooftop, and when he reached the outskirts of the city started to jump from tree to tree instead.

'This is bad, and it's all my fault, I shouldn't have sent her on her own, I should've gone with her.' Kamui frantically thought to himself as he leapt from tree to tree.

'And then there's that one kid… he said that he saved her, but what is a kid doing deep, in the middle of a forest? If he did something to her I'll…' The chances that the kid had been the one to attack Yu were pretty slim, but they were still present, but as of now he would get nothing from thinking like this, all he could do is make his way to his destination and hope for the best.

After a couple of minutes of leaping, he finally could make out the hero dispatch center in the distance, slowly growing in size as he closed in to it, and finally with one powerful jump, he launched himself forward, landing in front of the sliding doors and hastily made his way inside.

"Oh dear, Mr. Woods? What bring- Ahh!" The receptionist couldn't finish her sentence as Kamui smashed his hands on the counter, making her jump backwards in her chair.

"Yu Takeyama, Mt. Lady! Is she here?! She is supposed to be here!" Kamui demanded, the shivering receptionist doing her best to calm herself down.

"O-oh yeah, M-Ms. Takeyama was brought in here by a young boy a while ago, go through those doors and go in the red door on the second floor, the medical team should be done by-." Kamui didn't even let her finish as he went through the double doors to his right and went up to the second floor, spotting the red door at the end of the hallway.

"Yu! Are you he-…? Yu!" Kamui busted in the room, only to see Yu in a hospital bed and a doctor sitting down on the opposite side of the room.

"Ah, Mr. Woods we were told that you were coming, but didn't expect you to arrive so soon." The doctor said as he got up from his chair grabbing a clipboard on a nightstand beside him.

"What's wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?" Kamui asked the doctor, wondering what kind of damage she had received.

"She is fine, right now she is out of cold because of fatigue and the strain put on her body, but other than a sprained ankle, a burn on her right forearm and a few bruises she's fine, nothing life threating." The doctor said as he stood beside Kamui, who was staring at the bandaged arm of the sleeping Yu.

"Who brought her here? Are they still here?" Kamui asked shifting his gaze to the doctor.

"Hhmm? Oh, I was told that she was carried in here by some kid, I didn't see him myself, but security probably has a hold of him, you should go ask them instead." The doctor said as he adjusted his glasses, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "They are in the first floor, just go through the double doors at the end of the hallway."

"Hmm, thanks doctor, please take care of her." Kamui said in a calmer demeanor, his mind put at ease knowing that his friend would be fine.

Kamui followed the instructions of the doctor and went back the way he came from, going through the double doors at the very end of the hallway, on the other side there were two men sitting down and a one way mirror, on the other side a plain looking bald kid in an odd looking costume was sitting down, drinking a soda.

"Is that the kid that brought Mt. Lady in here?" Kamui asked as he approached the window, the reptilian looking man stood up.

"Yes sir, the kid arrived here with her a couple of minutes ago… but…" The man trailed off as he turned to look at the kid.

"But… what?" Kamui asked him, unsure as to why he trailed off just now.

"It's useless Mortimer, these kind of teenagers only understand with a show of force, I know how they think so just let me do my job!" The minotaur looking man said as he got up and unfolded his arms.

"For god's sake Sullivan, no! This is not a prison and he is not an inmate!" The smaller looking man now known as Mortimer retorted to Sullivan. "We just need to think of something ELSE."

"Hey! What are you two on about? Show of power? Think of something?" Kamui said as he got in between them both, separating them.

"What's going on is that the brat refuses to talk that is what is going on!" Sullivan said.

"It's not like he refuses to say anything, but it's like he doesn't trust us or something, the only thing we got out of him was his name, we asked who and where his parents where and he said that he hasn't talked with them for a while, every other question like 'where do you live' or 'why were you in the forest' he answers with 'I don't know' or just shrugs…" Mortimer said as he slumped back in the chair, obviously trying to talk to this kid had taken a toll on them.

"What about anything related to Mt. Lady, did he say anything?" Kamui asked them both, his gaze shifting in between them both.

"Yeah, we asked him if he attacked Mt. Lady and he said 'No I found her like this' when we asked him to elaborate he said 'There was a big spider-thing attacking her so I helped her' and when we asked him how did they get away he said 'I punched it'." Sullivan said, laughing at that final part, this kid reminded him of how he was when he used to be his age, dumb and reckless, but with a little bit more of hair on his head.

"He is hiding something…" Kamui said as he once again looked at the kid, the can of soda was now on the table in front of him as he slumped against the chair.

"Before we do anything I'll talk to him, see if I get anything out of him." He said as he walked to the door leading to the other side of the room.

"By the way his name is Saitama, and don't mention his lack of hair, that hits a nerve by the looks of it." Mortimer said as Kamui approached the door, nodding in acknowledgment, closing the door behind him.

On the other side Saitama shifted his attention from the can of soda in front of him to the new arrival, it looked like a man with some weird wood biker helmet.

"Uh? Who are you?" Saitama said as he followed him with his eyes, stopping on the opposite side of the table.

"Hello, Saitama, my name is Shinji Nishiya, but my hero name is Kamui Woods, we talked before too, through the radio remember?" He said as he shook his hand as if he was holding an invisible radio.

"Uhhh, yeah right… So, now that you are here, can I go?" Saitama said as he shifted in his chair, he didn't want to be here, not that he had anything to hide, but he was bored out of his mind, more than usual at least.

"Not yet Saitama, there's a couple of things that I'd like to ask you first." Kamui said, noticing the shifting motion Saitama just made, mistaking it as a sign that he wanted to get out of here quickly.

"Yeah, fine whatever, shoot" Saitama said as he sat upright.

"Okay then, first, you said that you found Mt. Lady while walking through the forest, what were you doing out there all by yourself? Or do you tend to take strolls alone in the middle of forests?" Kamui asked Saitama.

"I was just there dude, as of how I got there I have no idea" Saitama said, wait what? What does he mean by 'I have no idea'? Does he sleepwalk for miles and miles? Kamui sighed at this, those guys were right, this isn't going to be easy…

"Okay then, you said you saved Mt. Lady from a big animal, care to describe it?" Kamui asked, there were some cases where quirks would manifest on animals, such as the case of the principal of UA High, but it was rare, and he was pretty sure that if there was a giant spider running about they would've heard something about it by now.

"I don't really now man, I don't memorize all monsters I beat… All I remember is that it was some odd looking big spider and that is it." Saitama answered with a frown.

"Then do you at least remember how you saved Mt. Lady and got away without a single scratch on you?" Kamui asked in hopes to corner the kid.

"I punched it" Saitama said nonchalantly.

Kamui sighed as he looked up at the ceiling, what was this kid keeping from him?.

"Look you are making this hard for us, we want to go on about our day as much as you do but if you don't tell us what happened then you are making it harder for everyone, you know?" Kamui told Saitama.

"What do you mean? I just told you what happened, if you don't believe me just ask the lady and she'll tell you, if you don't believe me then that's your problem." Saitama said as he frowned once more, what did these people want from him?

"Okay let's assume that you are telling the truth and you did fight a giant spider and that you defeated it by 'punching' it." Kamui said trying to use a different kind of approach this time.

"But that is the truth." Saitama said earning a groan from Kamui.

"Sure thing, but there is something that bothers me, we looked your name up, but we didn't get any matching results, and you've said that you don't know where your parents are so I would like to ask you something: What's your quirk?" Kamui said, this wouldn't really help a lot, but having a knowledge of what the kid's quirk was may help them, maybe it was teleportation or super speed or something like that.

"Quirk? What do you mean, as in what am I good at?" Saitama said slightly tilting his head.

"You know, your 'power' for example mine is to control wood growth through my body, the two gentleman that you met earlier had mutation class quirks, that change their body and is always active, so what's yours Saitama?" Kamui asked as he grew some small branches on his fingers to show his quirk to Saitama.

"Oh, that, yeah I don't have a power, I'm just pretty strong." He said with a deadpan face, as if it was common knowledge by now.

"So you are telling me that you, a teenage boy, rescued a pro hero from a dangerous beast, which proved to be too much for said hero, and to top it all off you didn't have a quirk to do so?" Kamui asked Saitama.

"Yeah… Well you are wrong in one thing though." Saitama said while holding one finger up, this lighting up a small spark of hope in Kamui that he might tell the truth. "I'm a pro hero as well."

For the next couple of seconds they both just stared at each other, the buzzing of the lightbulb in the room being the only sound present, and after what felt to be an eternity, Kamui stood up and walked out the room.

"Was it something I said?" Saitama asked to no one in particular.

On the other side he was met by an apologetic look from Mortimer and a snickering Sullivan.

"See! I told you it wouldn't work, hehehe." Sullivan continued to laugh as Mortimer and Kamui spoke.

"Yeah, that is what we've been dealing with for the past hour or so, so what's your take in this?" Mortimer asked Kamui, in hopes that he came up with something because he sure as hell couldn't do so.

"This isn't final, but my take in this is that this kid ran away from home, something happened and he didn't want to stay because of it, he probably had an older brother that used to be a hero or maybe his father was, either way he looked up to them, so when he escaped he took the suit even if it was too big for him to properly wear, and maybe he was subjected to a strong experience which made him distrust strangers, and that is why he lies." Kamui said as he rubbed his temples, trying his hardest to make sense out of all this mess.

"And we can't keep him here forever, we also don't know when Yu is going to wake up either, so that only leaves only one option…" Kamui said as he shifted his attention towards Sullivan, causing Mortimer to frown because this was the last thing he wanted, knowing how his partner tends to get carried away.

"About time you ladies realized that my methods get results! Let's get this over with then shall we…" Sullivan said as he hopped off his chair and made his way towards the door, only to have Mortimer stop him at the last second.

"Sullivan, don't get carried away, he is not a criminal nor a delinquent, he is a kid so no unnecessary violence, got it?" Mortimer stated as Sullivan yanked his arm out of Mortimer's grasp.

"Yeah, yeah I got it don't worry lizard man, I'll just him a good scare." Sullivan said as he opened the door and stepped inside, Saitama was lazily looking at a fly bumping on the light bulb in the ceiling, so Sullivan slammed the door behind him that seemed to grab his attention.

"Hello?" Saitama said confused as to why the bull man had come back once again.

Sullivan didn't answer as he threw the table to the other side of the room, smashing it against the wall, crouching down to get on eye level with Saitama, his face inches away from Saitama's.

"Can I help you?" Saitama asked raising one eyebrow, what's up with the cow man all of the sudden?

"Look I'll be frank with you, I don't like you, I could be spending my day flirting with the receptionist, drinking beer or jus lazing around, but instead I have to babysit your sorry ass, so let's make this quick, and stop lying for once!" Sullivan said slowly rising his voice until he was downright shouting at him.

"What do you mean by stop lying? And can you get off my face please? Your breath stinks and you are spitting on my face." Saitama said as he pinched his nose with gloved hand, this however seemed to irritate Sullivan even further.

"I'm not going anywhere kid, and neither are you until you tell us what we want to know!" Sullivan shouted as he got up and lifted Saitama by the collar of his suit, his head almost touching the ceiling.

"Hey, that's not cool, let me down." Saitama said as he furrowed his eyebrows, slowly getting irritated because of the hostility coming from this bull man.

"I'm not doing anything you say young man, perhaps I should beat some sense in that shiny bald head of yours and maybe then you'll start to cooperate then." Sullivan tried to scare Saitama, who just got even more irritated at the mention of his lack of hair, why did people have to bring it up so often?!

"And don't think you'll be going anywhere, because we have all the time in the wor-" Sullivan trailed off.

"I said LET ME DOWN!" Saitama said with an angry expression as he horizontally chopped Sullivan's neck, not hard enough to be fatal, but still with enough force to send him flying against the mirror like a ragdoll, the fragile surface shattering into a thousand pieces under the weight of the bull man.

Kamui was fast enough to narrowly avoid the flying Sullivan, but unfortunately Mortimer wasn't, as he was caught by the airborne Sullivan and was dragged with him until the wall on the other side of the room stopped them.

"W-What the hell was that just now?!" Kamui was shocked, this kid just swatted that hulk of a man across the room like a fly and didn't even look fazed at all! Who the hell was this kid?!

Before Kamui could do anything about it, the door was opened and the doctor that Kamui had talked to not so long ago stepped forward.

"Excuse me Mr. K- Oh dear! W-what happened?!" The doctor asked as he was greeted by a confused Kamui, two security guards were groaning in pain on the ground, and a plain looking kid was standing as if nothing was wrong across the room.

"D-did the kid do this? Do I n-need to call the authorities?" The doctor asked Kamui as he took a step back, he was no fighter, his quirk only granted him with X-Ray vision, and not even the fun kind of X-Rays that all teenagers wanted!

"No, it's all right, I'll take care of this, just leave us alone please." Kamui said as he stood up right, truth be told, he didn't exactly know what to do, it's true that he had assaulted one security guard, and another one by accident, but it could be argued that it was in self-defense, plus the kid was a minor, so he couldn't just apprehend him.

"A-Actually sir, Ms. Takeyama is conscious as of now… and she is asking to see the boy." The doctor said, this got Kamui's attention.

"She wants to see Saitama?" Kamui asked himself, he understood that she wanted to see the kid that risked his life to save her, but should he allow it? After what he just saw it's clear that the kid isn't exactly defenseless, but he doubted that the kid would harm the person he just saved right?

"…Fine, but I'm coming with him." Kamui said as he looked back at Saitama and made a motion with his head and arm, signaling him to follow him, Saitama complied and stepped over the glass, apologizing to the groaning Mortimer as he passed by him.

Soon enough they were outside the room and the doctor opened the door, allowing them to go inside and him staying out, giving them a little privacy.

Inside Yu was sitting on her bed, she was looking out of the window and then looked at Saitama and Kamui as they entered.

"Oh, hey Shinji, didn't know you were here…." Yu said as she smiled bitterly, she didn't know that he had come all the way over here, she was half expecting him to lecture her about how carelessness can lead to disaster etcetera, etcetera.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm here, as soon as I got word that the mission went south, I left the office and rushed my way over here, it was my fault for sending you all by yourself." Kamui said honestly, while there was no way of knowing that it would turn out like this, he couldn't help but feel like he deserved part of the blame of why she was in a hospital bed.

"Oh so the perfect little boy can also commit mistakes then? What a pleasant surprise…" Yu said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Don't let it get to your head, anyways you wanted to talk to Saitama right?" Kamui said as he gestured to Saitama."

"Oh yeah right, about that, could you give use like, a minute or two? It's just something that I want to ask him about what happened in the forest." She said as she lightly gripped the sheets on her bed, all she wanted to do is ask Saitama how he had saved her and a couple more things, but she also hoped that Kamui didn't get offended by this, since he got worried for her and all that.

"*Sigh* Fine I'll be waiting outside, tell me when you are done because I also would like to have a word with you, Yu." Kamui said as he gave the two a last glance before he made his way out of the room.

Yu sighed at this, it went better than she had expected.

"So, Saitama did you also stay here because you were worried about me?" She asked with a smile, Saitama looked back at her with his neutral expression.

"No, the people in here said that they had to ask me some stuff and they said I wouldn't be able to go until that guy got here." Saitama said as he pointed his thumb back to the door, obviously referring to Kamui Woods.

A drop of sweat just rolled down on the side of Yu's head. 'You don't know how to talk to a girl, do you?'

"Oh, is that so? Well, leaving that aside, I'd like to ask you something Saitama, back in the forest when you saved me from that spider thing, how did you deal with it? I remember hearing a cannon shot, but you didn't have any weapon on you, was that your quirk?" Yu asked Saitama, this had been bugging her ever since she regained consciousness a while ago, everything was a blur but she remember the thunderous sound before she had opened her eyes to see Saitama for the first time.

"This again? You are like the fourth person to ask me the same question, it is getting annoying you know?" Saitama complained. "But no, the wood looking guy already told me about 'quirks' but I don't have a superpower, all I did was punch the damn thing."

Yu just blinked a couple of times at the last part 'Wait, what? He just punched it? But that can't be, if that is the case then his quirk has to be something related to enhanced strength, there is no way a quirkless kid could do something like that…'

"But then does that mean that you don't have a quirk?" Yu asked Saitama once again, and earned a nod from him "But that's impossible! A quirkless person doesn't have the physical strength as to do something like you did back there!"

"Well, I did, I don't even know why you are making such a big deal out of it, that mysterious being wasn't strong at all." Saitama sad as he scratched his cheek.

'Wasn't strong at all?! It almost ripped my head off!' Yu screamed inside her head before taking a deep breath and calming herself down, this kid risked his life to save her so she would cut him some slack.

"Either way, thank you for saving me, Saitama, if not for you I may have died in that place." Yu thanked the Caped Baldy once again for his deed, Saitama smiled lightly at this, after all, back home not a lot of people thank him directly for what he does, so it feels nice to get a 'Thank you' every now and then.

"You are welcome then, so is that all?" Saitama asked as his eyes slowly drifted to her right arm, the area that was burned by the acid now bandaged up.

"Yes that is it, could you tell Kamui to come in here on your way out please? Oh, and I'm sure that you are bored out of your mind right now and you want to leave but could you pretty please wait in the lobby just for a little more?" Yu asked Saitama, using her puppy eyes on the last part to try to convince him, it had always worked on his father so it was worth a shot.

"Eh, why not, as long as I don't have to spend the night here I'm cool." Saitama said as he turned his back to her and stepped out of the room, telling Kamui that she wished to speak to him now and that he'd be waiting downstairs.

And so the minutes passed by, he was sitting in one of the chairs waiting for whatever Yu needed him and so he tried to distract himself by doing pretty much anything, but other than the ticking of a wall mounted clock, a potted plant and the a receptionist was typing away in a computer, there was nothing noteworthy so he looked down at himself.

'I need to fix my suit…' Saitama thought as he noticed that his hero suit was a little too big for him now, the cape would be dragged around in the ground as he walked as well, he could actually refit it himself as he had basic sewing abilities, he could fix a tear here and there and refit the thing with a little effort, but nothing beyond that, serious damage had to be taken care by a tailor.

And soon enough both Yu and Kamui came into view, Yu wasn't wearing neither her hospital clothes nor her torn hero suit, but a white blouse and jeans.

"Ah! Saitama, thanks for waiting." Yu said as he approached him, Kamui following her.

"So, me and Shinji here were talking about you, and he told me that you don't want to say anything, am I right?" Yu asked him as she crouched down to get in eye level with Saitama.

"What do you mean?" Saitama asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I mean that he tried asking you about your parents or anything about your life, but you kept lying…" Yu told him, trying to get him to say pretty much anything about himself.

"I don't lie, and I told you people all I know already, I'm telling the truth." Saitama said as he was getting slightly irritated, why does everyone in this place treat him like some kind of criminal? He was a hero for crying out loud!

"Ok, ok, calm down, but that arises another problem you see, since we don't know where your parents are, nor any one that can take care of you, you need a guardian, so this is my proposal." Yu said as she raised a finger.

"I can take the role of your guardian until we shed some light in your past and can contact anyone related to you, see this as a formal 'thank you' for what you did to me." Yu explained Saitama who got more and more confused by the second.

"I don't need a care taker you know? I'm old enough to take care of myself…" Saitama told Yu, who just sighed and looked back at him.

"It isn't that simple, Saitama, I'm sure that you can take care of yourself, but for the time being you need someone to act as a guarding or caretaker, you know, government stuff, plus I'm great at cooking and-" Yu continued her explanation before she was cut off abruptly by Saitama.

"Okay, I accept." Saitama said quickly after hearing that she was a skilled cooker, she was the one offering herself to take care of him right? So this was basically like free food.

"Well that was quick, I'll go get the documents." Kamui said as he walked towards the receptionist's counter and talked to her about legal documents.

Yu just took a seat right next to Saitama and scooted a little bit closer to him.

"Don't worry about anything, I'm sure we'll get along just fine, just think of me like your older sister okay?" Yu told Saitama, he just looked up at her in confusion.

"Sister? Wouldn't you be more like my aunt?" Saitama said without any ill intent, this however did rub Yu the wrong way.

"AUNT?! I'm not that old! I'm twenty three!" Yu said as she wrapped her arm around Saitama's neck and applied pressure, similar to how siblings wrestle, but unknowingly she was pressing her breasts against Saitama's face a little bit too hard.

"H-hey you should stop that." Saitama said as he looked up at her with a nervous face, he may not be a kid but he had a body of one, and it was reacting.

"Why should- Oh, I see! Mr. I punch things really hard can't handle women?" Yu teased Saitama as she applied more pressure, he just groaned at this Kamui just sighed if Yu was already a handful, then this kid might break him.

'God give me strength…' Kamui thought to himself as he closed his eyes while the receptionist was busy printing the documents.

So well, this is it, my first attempt ever at writing a legit fanfic, honestly it is a lot harder than I thought, as in I thought that maybe I could write all this in a single sitting or two, but actually I was planning of releasing this like two or three weeks ago and we can see how that turned out, huh?.

Well leaving all that aside you are more than welcome to leave a review, speak to thy hearts content, that includes constructive criticism if you wish, that is another thing I've really never understood, some authors say right away 'Anyone that dares insult me or my story will be is a big dummy and… and…' and well, you'd figure that in a site such as this people would understand that other people have different tastes and view things differently, also you are more than welcome to give suggestions, as of now I'm debating whether if I should insert Geno's and Sonic in the story to spice things up a bit or not. Besides that I don't really know how the whole beta reading and all that stuff works, so yeah…