In a word, this day was disastrous.

Or no, that wasn't right, perhaps…catastrophic. Maybe lamentable? Cataclysmic. It would have to be at least as many syllables as inconvenient, and Diana felt she was already stretching things by choosing to pronounce it as four. This was a difficult task, but thinking of these words was still quite a bit easier than thinking of the ones that she was preparing to say aloud right now.

Akko, who had somehow interpreted her impromptu admission of a crush as a personal insult directed at her, was tapping her foot awaiting explanation. O'Neill, who had through her disgusting lack of tact and awareness had interpreted this explanation as a thing she should watch, sat a dozen feet from them on the grass. Diana would kill her, if her own survival wasn't jeopardized by this mortifying ordeal.

"So. As I said." Diana did her best to sound confident and assured. If O'Neill wanted a show, she would leave disappointed. "This entire…event has been a misunderstanding." She would not give O'Neill the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. Granted, it may be slightly too late for that, but nonetheless, Diana found spite to be an excellent motivator to talk to Ak-

Wait. No. She was talking to Akko. She was talking to Akko. Akko whose heart was connected to hers. This was not good. This was very bad in fact. She told Akko she had a crush on her to her actual face and that's what this whole event was about. And now she was talking to her about it. To Akko. About her crush. In front of people. Who were watching her. Talk to Akko. Akko.

"Y-yes!" Diana continued, sounding unconfident and unsure. "A b-big m-misunderstanding, as I s-said. That it was. Misunderstood. As I said. P-previously."

"You already said that. What part am I not getting then?"

"W-well…it's…uh…."

O'Neill stifled an annoying laugh from afar. Diana felt her muscles tense at the sound. So she really wasn't going to wise up and make herself scarce. If that accursed witch thought Diana was a spectacle to be ogled, she would soon be eating her words, along with every other jeer and taunt she would dare to soon regret. Throwing a quick, dirty look in her direction, Diana closed her eyes and turned her nose up, as regal and proud as she could be. "…It's a complicated series of events, but I can assure you, my intention was never to be insulting."

"What does that even mean?" Diana opened her eyes for the briefest of moments, and saw that while Akko's hands remained firmly on her hips aggressively, her brow arched in confusion and she was also looking at her while she awaited an explanation.

"It…! I-it means…I, erm, I d-didn't…w-when I said that…I…" It was difficult to tell if her face was paling or if it blushing yet again without a mirror, but there was definitely an amount of blood flowing in some direction relative to it.

Akko's anger had subsided and been replaced with concern. "Are you okay, Diana? Have you been, I dunno, cursed or something? Because you're acting sorta…" She waved her hand vaguely, searching for a description.

"Like a nutjob?" O'Neill offered.

"I was gonna say strange. Diana, if you got hexed or something, we can take you to the nurse, she would know what to do."

Calamitous. That was a good word. Very descriptive, with very powerful connotations. When one said their day was calamitous, it carried a certain weight. The listener would feel the implication of the speaker's plight. One did not drop a word like calamitous without serious thought. "I…I haven't been cursed or hexed or anything of the sort. I j-just…t-the reason for my behavior is, um, non-magical. Well, i-it's sort of magic related. But, ah, distantly, as it were."

It wasn't a lie, considering she was only in this mess because of Ursula opening her eyes to theories about soulmate magic. She may not have been cursed, but she definitely could've controlled herself had she not had her mind on that. And wait. What was she thinking? She couldn't tell Akko about that, that would definitely make all this worse. "O-on second thought, i-it wasn't magic related in any way. At all."

"Sooo, if you weren't cursed then, why'd you say that to me in the hallway?"

"That was…"

"A misunderstanding?" O'Neill butted in.

"N-no, I wasn't…I mean yes, but that's…ah…"

This was pointless. She didn't want to be here, and at this rate, she'd be at this all day. Just say it, retreat back to the room, possibly throw up, and move on already. That was not her usual level of planning, but it would do for now. "T-that was…I said that by accident."

"Accident?" Two voices repeated at the same time. One was confused, and somewhat doubtful. The other had spoken with mirth. Damn that O'Neill. Why was she still here?

"I…I had a lot on my m-mind, and I was having…difficulty processing…things, and, uh, I h-hadn't meant to say such a thing, but w-when you had come to speak with me, I had forgotten m-myself and I…erm, accidently may have…v-voiced my…inner thoughts." Akko took a moment to parse through her words and form a coherent sentence out of them, and upon completion, suddenly looked quite flustered.

"Wait, y-you were telling the…truth?"

"Oooh." O'Neill cooed from the sidelines. Diana really did what she could to tune it out. She was actually saying this (again). Oh god, this was a bad idea, why was she doing this to herself (again), oh man.

"Y-yes. I, erm, suppose I w-was. Telling the…ah, t-truth. A-about having…a…" She couldn't bring herself to say what it was, couldn't say it in person, not when Akko was looking at her so.

"A special place in my heart for you, Atsuko~" Diana fists clenched as she whipped around to face Amanda.

"O'Neill, if you don't stop this instant I swear!"

"What? Me? You were stuttering, I was just helping out!"

"Helping?! If you think for a second-!"

"So…wait," a voice called out from behind her, and Diana blinked as she remembered she was talking to Akko. "You…you actually do have a crush on me? Like for real."

"Y-." Diana tried to speak again. It didn't seem to be working out for her. It was a reoccurring trend she could do without today. But she could still move her head, so she gave a simple nod.

"R-really?"

Diana nodded again. This was much easier, she should talk to Constanze and learn to communicate like this all the time. She never had to deal with saying something utterly banal to girls she found calamitous.

"I-if you do, for real, have a crush on me…Why is that…inconvenient?"

"I…I don't know. I-it's just that…well, you're you. And that's…different, for me."

"Uh. Okay?" It seemed like a perfectly good summation of her problem, and Diana couldn't see any reason why Akko would be confused by it.

"Well, if that's cleared up then…" Diana started.

"It really isn't!"

"Akko, why did you think I was insulting you? When I said…w-what I said?" Akko looked up in surprise, and began twiddling her fingers nervously. Her cheeks began turning a light shade of pink.

"Oh, it's…sort of embarrassing…"

O'Neill picked now to butt in with another unhelpful comment. "You two really have a lot in common!" Akko payed her no mind, and Diana found that very envious.

"I-it's just that, I mean, you never responded to any of my hints, so I thought you didn't see me that way. I thought you were making fun of my feelings."

Time seemed to stop for a moment as Akko's words impacted her.

"Wait. You…hints? What?"

"L-look, I don't know how to flirt, okay?! I've never asked someone out so I thought if I just looked interested or available or whatever, you'd take the lead!"

"Oh my god." A third voice snickered from afar.

"Hints? What?" Diana blanched. "What? What hints?"

"Diana, I've been coming to talk to you after class like every day for weeks! I've been telling you every time I have time off and trying to see if you're okay and stuff like that!"

"T-that doesn't…! You t-talk with Lotte and Sucy every day!"

"I live with them! I hitchhiked to your house like, a month ago because you were leaving!"

"That didn't mean you had…wait, you…had a crush on me?!"

"Yeah I did! Do! Whichever!"

O'Neill rolled her eyes. "Oh, no way."

Akko had feelings for her. Diana might've felt relieved or happy, had it not been consumed by absolute rage. Akko had been throwing hints at her? All this nonsense she's endured, everything she did to avoid this and Akko had been trying to flirt with her! She had wasted so much time blushing and acting like a schoolgirl with a crush and she could've avoided it all. This entire day she spent mulling over this crush as a big inconvenience, and now this whole situation was…was..! It was very convenient was what it was! She had racked her brain trying to go against her morals to learn illegal spells and think of words like 'Calamitous' and now there were hints.

"S-so, uh. I guess we have crushes on each other, then? Kinda makes this whole thing seem silly…" Akko scratched her head.

"I feel like a fool." Diana growled to herself. "All this time I spent concerned over soulmate magic, and it was all for nothing."

She once again looked up to see Akko gaping at her, and after a moment, her brain caught up and realized that, for the third time today, she had managed to say yet another piece of information that really shouldn't be spoken aloud. "S-soulmate magic?!" Akko squeaked, her face beet-red.

"What now?" O'Neill sat up. A part of Diana registered that she should probably be embarrassed again, but frankly with so much emotional whiplash today, she simply lacked the energy to do more than have the blood rush back to their now familiar place in her cheeks.

"…I'm not sure what's wrong with me today." Diana said simply. "I'm usually able to avoid speaking my intrusive thoughts. It's become something of an epidemic with me as of late."

"Soulmate?! What?" Akko blanched. "What? Soulmates?!"

"Holy-!" O'Neill tried to speak through giggles. "Heheh, T-this just keeps getting more intense with you two!"

Diana took a moment to think before she spoke, cataloging anything she could say right now that might make the situation worse. Fortunately, the list had grown very short recently, and it currently began with her credit card number and ended with several curse words. With that enlightening thought in mind, Diana supposed she might as well explain what she was talking about.

"I-it…supposedly! Being able to perform the Shiny Volley together signified our hearts are…ah, connected, and such magic only works i-if your hearts are on the same level. I…haven't heard of anything like that except, uh, soulmate magic. Supposedly." O'Neill seemed to find her description amusing, because of course she did, but Akko seemed to mull the idea over in her mind before she responded, looking very bashful about it too. It was sort of nice not being the only shy one in the conversation.

"I mean, um, wow. Y-you said you had a crush, but…soulmates?" Akko fidgeted, still clearly embarrassed by the prospect. "T-that's uh…wow." She repeated.

"I-it…!" Diana felt the sudden need to defend herself. "I-it wasn't my idea!" Neither Akko nor O'Neill seemed to be actually paying attention to what she was saying right now, which she really could've used the past four and half hours. "I mean, technically, the theory wasn't mentioned until I…er, no! I…uh…"

Akko just ignored her rambling and instead walked up to her, as in close to her, the hints of a smile forming on her face. "W-well, I'm sorta amazed you'd choose me as your soulmate." Diana felt her heart leap up to her throat. That was much too intimate a sentence for Diana to respond to properly, so instead she voiced yet another intrusive thought.

"…You don't choose soulmates."

"Well if you did, um, I think I'd like to choose you too."

"You wou-T-that isn't how it works."

"I'm saying if it was though, I'd pick you."

"It isn't. It doesn't…that's not how it works."

"…Whoa." O'Neill piped up again. "You guys go hard, don't you? Like you just said you had a thing and now you're destined?"

Akko reached out and gently took Diana's hands in hers, and Diana felt as though her chest might burst open from how fast her heart was hammering against it. "Look, let's just say it is how it works. I don't really care what the rules say."

"B-but…it's n-not." Diana's voice sounded very small.

"Since we're…um, that, we should go out and do something fun!"

Diana made a vaguely affirmative noise. It was really the best anyone could hope for in such a situation. Words were beyond her capabilities right now. She couldn't take her eyes from Akko's face, but she could feel her thumbs softy brushing against her knuckles. It felt better than it had any right to. Could this be what it meant to have their hearts connected? This indescribable feeling drawing her towards Akko? This sudden desire to have her close? It was unlike anything Diana had eve-

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

This time it was Akko that turned red and whipped around. "AMANDA SHUT UP! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME!"

"Wh-I'm trying to get that for you!"

"SHUT UP! LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT!"

O'Neill, for once, raised her hands in surrender and backed down. Diana was quite impressed. There was certainly no way she could've verbally defeated the witch after she said something like that. Akko had turned back to her, looking at their joined hands. Diana noted the slight tinge of pink still remaining on her cheeks, the almost inaudible little huff she blew through her lips, and was overcome with gratefulness at how things had turned out. Trying to move past this crush would've been much too difficult.

"I'm…I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings Akko."

"Hee hee! That doesn't matter anymore, Diana!" Her light giggle did something fierce to her, and for a brief, wonderful moment, there was nothing in the world but Diana and Akko, their hands entwined and the sweet sound still echoing in the air. Diana no longer registered O'Neill watching their exchange, no longer registered her earlier shame that had enveloped her, no longer registered anything in her mind but the beautiful girl in front of her and the shining look in her eyes.

Given all that had happened today, Diana really should've paid better attention to the conversation she was still having.

"We'll just forget the whole thing, deal?" Akko said with a smile.

"No deal. I've decided erasing your memories is not a choice I'm willing to make."

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

In terms of her mood, things had managed to return to some relative level of normalcy over the following days. Her head felt clearer and she could speak without stammering or blushing or saying something inane. She returned to her student life with the confidence and poise that once defined her.

Relative if only because Akko would occasionally hold her hand in public now, where other people could see them, and would think things, and there was no proper decorum for such situations, but aside from that annoying but not entirely unwelcome feeling, Diana finally felt like herself again. Case in point, she was helping to monitor detentions for Headmistress Holbrooke. It was not only a duty she'd graciously accept in order to support Luna Nova in any way she could, but she saw it as a pleasure to perform such tasks. Especially when one considered whose detention was in need of monitoring.

"This sucks!" O'Neill complained yet again. "How'd you even manage to get me in trouble?"

"Me?" Diana asked innocently. "I assure you, I haven't done anything. But it seems that somehow, the professors have managed to learn of several of your misdemeanors that had previously been overlooked. I haven't a clue how they might've come across such information."

"Tch, so now what? You're here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Just to make sure all this cleaning is finished." As punishment for the several infractions that the professors had just happened to come across, from an anonymous source mind you, Amanda had been tasked with scrubbing the kitchen's dirty dishes. With quite a number of students currently enrolled at the prestigious witch academy, grime was sure to build up on the many, many, many, many plates, bowls and cups that now surrounded O'Neill.

It likely wouldn't even be that arduous of a task on a normal day, but the information just so happened to reach Holbrooke's ears when the cooks had prepared stew, and the consistency of it made it exceptionally difficult to remove, especially now that it's had time to dry on the dishes. It was a crying shame such an awful task had befallen a girl of O'Neill's caliber.

"Just pretend I'm not here. You do you." Diana said, making no effort to hide the vindication in her voice. O'Neill just grumbled, taking the rough end of a sponge to a crusted food stain on a plate. There were certainly other detentions to monitor, with a school of this size there were plenty of girls who had forgotten homework or ditched class, and eventually Diana would see to them as her duty entailed, but for now she felt a connection to O'Neill's plight. The stain wasn't coming off easily. Such a shame.

"Hey. Diana. About yesterday." Diana looked up at the sound of being addressed. O'Neill's voice hadn't sounded as angry and accusatory as one might've expected. She had stopped scrubbing, and turned to face Diana.

"I know how hard that was for you, talking to Akko like that…" Diana did a double take. Was Amanda actually going to apologize for her boorish behavior? She looked and sounded sincere, as she nervously scratched her arm. She had assumed that Amanda lacked a single tactful bone in her body, but if she actually felt sorry for her actions…Perhaps Diana had misjudged her character after all. Perhaps someday, she and Amanda might move past this pointless bickering and become friends. It was a pleasant prospect, and it would make Akko happy as well. Maybe Diana could find it in her heart to let bygones be bygones.

"…So if you ever need a wingman to get you past first base, I'm always here!"

What happened before Diana had fled from the room had certainly hurt, but despite the pain in her forehead, Amanda couldn't help but laugh anyway. She said it to get a reaction, but she hadn't expected one quite like that. It was so hilariously unlike her that Amanda doubted anyone would even believe her.

How many people could say they got Diana Cavendish to actually chuck a frying pan at them?

"It doesn't count, Chariot."

"Of course it counts, Croix. They got together. That was the only thing that counted."

"Only because you fed her that crap about their 'hearts being on the same level' or whatever."

"Oh, you are such a sore loser. You never set any ground rules!"

"Well making up stuff about special heart magic is definitely against the rules. You straight up lied to a teenager!"

"Oh, this is wrong now? Need I remind you of the Wagandea Tree?"

"…You can turn this around on me all you want, Chariot. I'm still not paying you a single cent."

(So this was originally the ending, and all of Amanda's comments were just jokes. Given how in the canon of this fic Diana reacted to talking to her crush, could you imagine what she'd do if she had to have her first kiss? But then I thought about that sentence a bit more and I was like, "Wait…" For a couple reasons, mainly because it'd be longer and not really connected to the description anymore, I think I'll end up making that into another short fic. Also, I sort of wanna wash my hands of this. Despite doing it twice, I really don't like doing these big "the truth comes out" scenes

So if you liked Diana falling apart, look out for that sequel called...oh, we'll call it "Calamitous"

I think teachers placing bets on their students getting together is probably not okay, but for sure Croix was the one who brought it up and you know Chariot wasn't going to let her win that argument so she goes "hey diana what if you and akko were soulmates wouldnt that be weird lmao anyway bye")