Hey! I'm back... To be honest this chapter has been ready for a while. In fact, most of the chapters of the story are now done. It's difficult knowing when to stop trying to edit a chapter and when to just post. But I want to finish this story, so that's what will happen. Hope you enjoy!

Recap: Bella has ventured off into the world for the first time, in search of answers.

Nothing was ever as easy as it seemed

Maybe this was why they had allowed me to leave, to let the reality of the world hit smack in the face.

It was so loud.

The Cullen's house had been soundproofed for the most part, for the sake of everyone and their sanity. The forest had been louder, the slight sounds of wildlife, the clicks of the insects, the call of the river.

I had eventually learned to tune most of it out, particularly since the noises had remained for the most part, consistent. When I had hunted, I had trained to focus my senses down to a single point - the heartbeat of my prey, the smell of its flesh.

In the real world it was... difficult.

A trickle of doubt wiggled into my chest. It was hard sometimes being a newborn, feeling everything so intensely. I shoved the feeling down. I could only have so many pity parties. I had to be stronger

I heard Seattle before I saw it. A cacophony of noise assaulted me. The whoosh of the cars, the chatter of people rising, the sound of the airplanes as they landed at Sea-Tac.

Then a gust of wind blew in my direction and with it came the smell.

A veritable feast of prey, their scent wafting from the city like a stench. It was no wonder the Cullen's lived far away from civilization. The temptation would drive anyone insane if they lived there long term.

My feet moved quickly on their own, compulsively towards the smell. I couldn't help it.

I was so hungry.

There were no words to describe the hunger that raged within me. Only feeling. Only want greater than I'd ever felt before, want so primal and base that it hollowed me out inside, emptying out everything that was Bella and replacing it with someone else. Something else.

I was moving faster and faster now, racing towards the smell.

I need it.

I need it.

Mine.

A glint of light caught my eye and for a moment I paused, my senses on high alert for any interruptions. A predator was always on the lookout for another trying to steal their meal.

It was the only instinct I had greater than my desire.

I saw a woman, beautiful and sensual - but also jarringly red-eyed, her beauty not masking her otherness. Her face was dirty, her hair was disheveled and she was barefoot, clutching a bag in harms.

The familiarity of her face shocked me out my hunger-induced trance.

Me.

The clear thought burst through and for a moment the monster inside receded enough for me to take control. I shuddered, and then pinched my nostrils to seal off my sense of smell.

It helped, somewhat, but my mind knew the smell was out there. I had to regain control. I had to remember my humanity - whatever was left of it.

I closed my eyes and visualized a shield in my mind. I had one, or so Cullen's had said. It was what made me impervious to Edward's mind reading. It, whatever it was, would also have to keep me safe from myself.

I could not - no I would not, go back.

Once my shield was strong enough, I would find food. If I had any chance of surviving Seattle and the airport, I would have to be well fed.

My mouth moved over in silent repetition to myself.

Impenetrable. Impenetrable.

I would be that.

After eating, I approached a lone single story house, separated from others in its division. The lights were off, the occupants of the house were long gone - on vacation perhaps? More importantly, there were also no security cameras.

I lept to balance on the ledge of the second-floor window and broke the latch easily, stepping in to land lightly onto carpeted floors.

Then paused.

The house was not empty like I had thought. In fact, it very much still occupied. The scent of decay was strong in my nose, reminding me of what happened to the animal bodies after I drank from them.

Of course, those never actually made all the way to quite this point, other creatures usually made it further.

I followed the scent down the hallway into another bedroom. A body lay on the bed, beneath the comforter, head poking out as though its occupant had been asleep. I wrinkled my nose. Even worse than the smell of decomposition, the smell of coagulated blood was worse. Like food that had gone bad in the fridge.

I turned and walked out of the room, closing the door. That might keep the scent out while I did my business.

I located the bathroom easily, and slipped out of clothes and stepped into the shower.

The dirt and flecks of blood from my trip fell easily off. I understood now why the Cullen's took such care with their clothing and why they worse shoes despite not needing to. It made it easier to return to society, to blend in with everyone else without having to do unnecessary things like this.

Once out, I slipped in the contacts the Cullen's had loaned me, transforming my red eyes into brown. It was almost jarring, seeing myself with brown eyes again. My human memories were blurry and less clear now after all this time, so my vampire self was now more familiar to see. The brown eyes were more uncomfortable to see. Judging, assessing, as if they were seeing who I was now.

I gave the mirror girl a closed-lipped smile and slid sunglasses on over my eyes. Gorgeous and powerful. I let the rightness of those feelings settle over me.

Yes, gorgeous and powerful, all combined making me so strong. I wasn't that weak girl anymore. Bella, poor weak Bella, trying to get better grades in college, mooning over boys like Edward - No, I wouldn't think of that.

My vampire memories contained only those of the Cullen's, so sharp and pristine. My thoughts returned to Edward approximately 6 times an hour, once every 10 minutes. I couldn't help it. But every time I did, I could see his golden eyes assessing me, remembering bloody broken Bella. Weak Bella.

I had to find my killer and then, only then, would I think of Edward and my family and everything else. Once I came back strong and my vengeance sated. Eyes on the prize.

The airport wasn't so bad. It was crowded, filled with people, but I took that as the practice I needed

"Are you okay?"

I blinked. I'd been... thinking. Of something. Zoned out? Truthfully, I hadn't known that vampires could zone out. Sometimes there were so many stimuli that I couldn't comprehend it all and then... stuff happened. I mulled this over for a moment, before realizing I hadn't responded to the question asked to me.

I looked up and smiled at the women who had spoken.

"I'm fine."

Her breath caught and her heart raced enticingly. Some part of her must have known that she had just come face to face with a predator. Still though... humans could be so silly. Look at the way I'd fawned over Edward.

The girl flushed pink for a brief moment. My eyes caught on the pink and held, traveling down to eye the pulse in her neck.

"Sorry, I just thought I'd ask - I'm on my way home cause my grandma died, and I feel sort of bummed. Sometimes you just want someone to ask you if you're okay, yah know? At least, that's how I was feeling just now. And then I saw your face, and you seemed... sad too, and I thought, why not? Why not ask? What do you have to lose Bree? But now I'm rambling and I've probably bothered you and I'm so sorry."

I blinked for a moment. Stunned. The girl stared - Bree? - stared back at me expectantly and I realized that she was waiting for a response. My mind went over her words quickly.

"Are you... okay?"

I asked tentatively. It seemed like the correct thing to do.

She smiled once and then it wavered before collapsing into the seat next to me.

"I know you're just trying to be nice, and I know the correct thing for me to do would be to tell you that I'm fine and then to go on my way like we never met, but I'm not okay. I can't lie. I just didn't expect her to die. She was old and I knew that, but I just sort of thought she'd always be there. But next thing you know, I'm getting a call from my sister and she's telling me that grandma died in her sleep. I just wasn't ready. But that's death I guess. We're never ready, not really."

I sat there frozen, her words falling over me like cold water.

I thought of another body, lying so cold and still in bed. Had I really dismissed it so callously? Had I just told myself to think of it as an empty vessel, an unappetizing meal and instead not thought that the body was an old man, with wrinkled skin and laugh lines around his eyes? That the house was full of pictures of him and what must have been his wife and kids and grandkids. What had happened to Bree's grandmother had happened to this man. It would happen to my dad and my friends and everyone I had ever known.

Was that why I had distanced myself? Called them humans as though I hadn't been one, as though in some ways I still wasn't one.

I twisted my hands together. Bree had stopped speaking, and she sat there silently before glancing at me.

Her mouth curved up trembling.

"Sorry about that - real downer, huh?"

I smiled at her, trying to give every appearance of calm.

"No it's just that - you've reminded me of something."

In a split second, a thought crossed my mind and I stood, saying.

"I have to do something right now."

Giving myself no time to think, I walked as briskly as I could while maintaining human speed, until I found what most airports still had to this day: a payphone.

My hands shook as I slid my credit card into the slot. Was I really doing this? Don't think about it Bella, I reminded myself firmly.

I lifted the phone and dialed the numbers I knew so well. Not forgotten, not gone, just shoved down away and away so I could forget.. Forget who I once was, who I still was.

The number rang so long I was half scared it would go voicemail and half scared I would lose my nerve before anyone answered. But at last, there was a click, and a voice so familiar I almost wept with relief.

"Dad? It's me, Bella"