"Sick of crying, tired of trying; yes I'm smiling but inside I'm dying."

-Unknown

Increasing Distance

—

It's been 9 years, nearly a decade. Despite that, she hasn't called you at least once. She didn't call on you like she usually does. She'd usually call you to inform you on what is happening on her side and just to take advantage of what is happening, you decide to tell her what has been happening on your end.

You share laughs, tears, and happiness over the phone with her.

It was all simple times since 9 years ago today, she didn't call. You attempted to call her that day but you only received her voicemail. She called every day to check up on you! You wouldn't be so suspicious the first time that she hadn't called just for one day because it only happened once. You try to reason with it. As soon as the clock showed 4:40PM, you knew something was up. She usually calls you at 4:40PM sharp since as she said, "I miss you."

What happened?

You miss her sweet, soft voice. Did you do anything wrong? You recollect the memories you have stored for the long run and none of them—probably because of bias—had you doing anything to violate her let alone do something 'bad' to her. It pained you since….weren't you two friends?

Both of you were friends.

What happened now?

It stings, you cry. You call her again, assuming that she didn't notice that you called a few seconds ago. You hear her voicemail again.

A picture frame appears in the corner of your eye. Your ginger hair isn't the same as her light brown hair but it complements each other. Her purple eyes and your yellow ones fit as well. You shake your head. It probably complements each other because you were always by her side so it was something your eye was now accustomed to.

You still don't understand. Why won't she respond?

You groan, you're making a big deal out of someone not responding to your calls.

You try to reason with yourself. You're making it too much of a big deal.

No.

You're not making it such a big deal.

She's your friend! Your childhood friend! You have been together for who knows how long! You were friends even BEFORE µ's was created! You AREN'T being irrational. You AREN'T being weird.

You're just hurt.

You drop your phone on your bed and go outside for a walk. The scent of the outside is still different than it was compared to Japan. You and she have migrated to the States. It was originally your idea but it died down after you suggested it after you graduated with your peers but then she brought it up again.

This is where you live now.

As you walk, a familiar shade of brown enters your view. Excited, you rush over to see if it is your friend; it is her. Your feet stop moving as soon as you heard eight words spoken in pure English that went out of her mouth as a reply to someone you don't know.

"Hanayo, have you heard from your friend before? What was her name? Rin?"

"I haven't heard from her in a while." Those words struck you hard. There wasn't anything offending or shocking about the statement but it irks you that she is actively talking to someone else!

Take a deep breath. That person has nothing to do with this…..situation.

You panic as you realize that they suddenly turned around. You look down and see that the other person Hanayo was accompanying dropped her purse. As a result, they both turned around.

Her eyes lock with yours as you give her a threatful glare. You feel guilty as she cowers behind her friend, who finally noticed your presence.

"Don't hurt her."

You scoff and roll your eyes, much to Hanayo's companion's confusion and Hanayo's worry.

You were irritated but you couldn't help but observe Hanayo and how much she has grown. Indeed, for the past 9 years, she has grown.

"Take your eyes off of her."

"What?!" You never expected to be good in speaking English, but here you are today. "I am being denied permission to look at my friend?"

"I'm uncomfortable with your eyes wandering all over her body."

"Sarah, you're being…confusing."

"What? I was just protecting you!"

"That's Rin."

"That's her?"

"I'm still here you know," you say, imitating the laid-back pose of a certain redhead. "And Kayo-chin, I'm sorry we have to end it off like this."

"Rin-chan!" There goes the Japanese. You look at her curiously. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm not." Sarah stands there, confused. She obviously doesn't understand Japanese. "I just have to go."

As if you were in a hurry, you rush past them. Tears form in your eyes as Hanayo tries to call you back.

Little did you know how much this would affect both of you.

Little did you know how hurt you made Hanayo feel. You didn't hear from her for nearly a decade. You wouldn't know how she would react.

Too bad, you didn't know how messed up Hanayo's life was since she stopped calling you.

—

To: Hoshizora Nya

From: Sarah Coil

23:41

You are worse than I thought you were.

…

….

…..

—

You sigh as you got a message from the same girl from this morning. Anger is emerging slowly as you read the first line. More paragraphs of how bad you were followed but the last lines really hit hard.

—

….

…

Hanayo stopped calling you because she was going through some REALLY hard times okay?!

She didn't want you to worry about her so she instead took the much more difficult path!

I thought you were going to take her in and be happy again once you saw her.

I became her friend because I wanted to help her be happy despite the challenges the world puts her through!

I expected you to do the same.

Because of what you did, Hanayo nearly killed herself while I was out shopping.

Listen Rin, I don't know who you are or what you are.

But after what happened to Hanayo, you are just a cruel person who thinks of only yourself!

Don't ever talk to Hanayo or me again.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

—

Yo. Suicide isn't like….a topic I can openly discuss but if the line 'Hanayo nearly killed herself' is like….triggering or maybe sensitive, PM me immediately.

Cue the lines of 'Couldn't you have just rephrased it BEFORE you published it?'

Well…I can't find any other way to make it sound 'safe' so there. I would like it if you can send suggestions as to not make it sound sensitive or bad.

Have a nice day! =)