Over the coming months, James and Rose fell more completely back into their daily routines, pre-baby. James went back to work in August, and while he missed his time with Rose and Sianin throughout the day, he was happy to be back at the job he loved. Rose, meanwhile, enjoyed having one-on-one time with her baby.

James and Rose—with Sianin in tow—went out to lunch together weekly, and James and Rose—alone—made sure to take at least one weekend per month to themselves and go out on dates and have uninterrupted time together.

While things were mostly going well, they did have a few minor setbacks. There was a day when Sianin simply wouldn't stop crying for Rose, and James had come home with Ainsley to find both Rose and Sianin crying on the couch. But they'd found out the following day, when they took the baby to the doctor for her high fever and loss of appetite, that she had developed an ear infection.

Then there had been the day that James had been alone with the girls, and he had turned his back for one second to clean up the dishes from breakfast, but it had been enough time for Ainsley to try to share some of her cereal with her baby sister. That had been one of the scariest days of James's life when he spinned 'round at Ainsley's screams and saw his seven-month-old turning blue at the lips. He had gotten her breathing again within seconds, but James had taken quite the confidence hit, and he'd broken down to Rose that night when the girls were in bed.

"Our baby almost died and it would've been my fault!" he'd cried, still feeling the raw terror bleeding through from his memories. "My fault!"

"No, love," Rose said gently. "Nothing happened. She's fine. Everyone is fine. You helped her, James. You saved her. She is perfectly healthy."

It had still taken James a few weeks to be comfortable with being alone with both kids at once, but he eventually worked through his fears of failure.

They spent Christmas in Scotland as usual, and they met Donna's new boyfriend, Lee, and Mickey's new girlfriend, Martha.

Then after the holidays, Rose eased herself back into her work. She started with half-days, and because he was still off on winter break, James stayed home with Sianin so he could soothe Rose's separation anxieties and ease them all into the transition of Rose being back at work full time, and Sianin being at daycare with Ainsley full time.

Soon, they were rapidly approaching their baby's first birthday, and James and Rose were amazed that their daughter had been in their lives with them for a full year.

Sianin seemed to have fun at her birthday party. As much fun as a one-year-old could have, that is. She enjoyed the cake—and smearing it messily across her face in an attempt to feed herself—but she was more or less indifferent to the attention and the gifts. Instead, she mostly wanted to follow Ainsley around all day. Sianin had just begun taking her first steps a few days before her first birthday, and Ainsley took it upon herself to help her sister master the skill of walking.

It melted James's and Rose's heart to see their two daughters getting along so well. Ainsley was utterly in love with Sianin, and she loved helping her parents take care of the baby. Sianin simply adored Ainsley back, and had been following her big sister around ever since she'd become mobile.

As James watched Rose braid Ainsley's hair as Ainsley read one of Sianin's baby books to her, he thought he had never felt happier or more complete.

Until Rose came to him one night at the beginning of June with a bit of news.

"I think I might be pregnant," Rose admitted after she and James put their daughters to bed.

"You… what?" James squeaked, sure he must have misheard her.

"Yeah," Rose sighed, leaning up against him. "My period is over a week late. And I've been feeling run down lately."

"Have you taken a test?" James asked, feeling an odd ringing in his ears.

"No, but I picked some up after work," Rose said. "Haven't had the courage to take them yet."

"Why?" James asked gently. "No matter what it says, we'll deal with it together."

"I'll take one in the morning," Rose promised.

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes before Rose murmured, "I'm not sure how it would even have happened. We've been so careful."

"Well, no birth control is ever one-hundred percent effective," James mused. "There's always a small margin of error. I guess we've fallen into that small margin. If you're pregnant, that is."

James tucked his arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek on the top of her head as he tried to imagine them with a new baby. Sianin was barely a year old; it seemed like they just went through a pregnancy, and here they were, potentially facing another one.

He worried about how they would handle three small children when they'd struggled so much for the first few months after Sianin was born. And he worried about Rose, and how she would handle another pregnancy and birth; he didn't think he could bear to see her go through so much pain—physical or emotional—again.

But despite all of his fears and concerns, an all-encompassing warmth overtook James at the idea of having made another baby with Rose. Even though it wasn't planned, he couldn't feel anything other than happiness and excitement. There was nothing he loved in the universe more than his family, and any addition to it would be a loved and welcomed one.

They'd probably need to invest in a new home, he mused. The three bedrooms of their house were already in full use. Though they might be able to renovate… The room where they did their laundry could function as a new nursery or a bedroom for Ainsley or Sianin. Or even the home office.

He smiled happily and pressed a kiss to Rose's hair as he began planning out everything they would need to get their home and themselves ready for a new baby.

The following morning, James awoke alone. He glanced at the clock, and noted that Ainsley and Sianin would probably be awake soon. Unless that's where Rose was.

But as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, he saw the door to their bathroom was closed. His heart skipped in his chest as he remembered Rose was going to take the pregnancy test that morning.

Feeling confident about the outcome of the test, James waited excitedly at the foot of their bed for Rose to come out and share the good news.

But his heart plummeted into his gut when Rose retreated from the loo looking crestfallen and morose. Was she not happy about the pregnancy? Of course she wasn't. Why would she be? With how much she had struggled after their last one, of course she wouldn't want to do it all over again so soon.

"Rose, love, what's wrong?" he asked through the hard knot in his chest.

Rose looked up at him and blinked before her face crumpled. James stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her as her body shook with suppressed sobs.

"It came back negative," she cried, holding him desperately. "I thought for sure I was… And I was so excited! But we're not!"

A sob tore up her throat, and James felt like all the breath had been knocked from his lungs. He had been sure—so sure—that he and Rose were pregnant again. He'd known it deep in his bones. Yet here she was, telling him that they were not having another baby.

But oh, how he wanted one.

"Are you sure?" he whispered numbly.

Rose pushed away from him and instead hugged an arm around her waist as she pressed her other hand into her eyes.

"No, I figured I would take one test and accept that it was telling me I'm not pregnant and then come cry out here to you!" she snapped, her voice sounding strangled. "I took four bloody tests! All bloody negative! Yes, I'm bloody sure, James!"

The agony in her voice cut him to the quick, and he pulled her back into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm…"

His breath hitched in his lungs as his eyes started to burn. He squeezed her tighter and buried his face into her hair as he tried to process his situation.

"I wanted so badly for you to be pregnant," he rasped, his jaw aching as he swallowed down his grief. "I really, really did."

"Me too," Rose whimpered. "I didn't realize how much I wanted it."

James inhaled a shuddering breath and he leaned back to look at her. He cupped his hands around her cheeks, and upon seeing his surely red eyes, Rose caressed his cheeks too.

"We can try for a baby," he promised. "If we both want it, we can try for a baby."

Rose leaned her head into his hands. "Yeah, okay." She closed her eyes and nuzzled into his palms as she whispered, "I didn't think I'd be ready for another one so soon. But this… How I feel…" She sniffled and nodded. "Let's try for another baby."

James leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, and then to both cheeks, then to the tip of her nose, before he finally slotted his lips against hers. The kiss was soft and tender, and tasted salty from their tears.

"I was imagining us with a new baby all last night," he admitted quietly, resting his forehead against hers.

"So was I," she whispered. "I'm sorry, James."

"S'not your fault," he murmured.

"You're hurting and disappointed," she said gently. "And it's no one's fault, but I'll always feel sorry about you hurting."

James sniffed and gave her a weak smile, before he slipped past her to use the loo and take a shower. With the hot water pelting around him, James gave into the heartache and loss he was feeling, and he grieved for the idea of a child that didn't exist.

He felt a little better after his shower, and when he joined his family in the kitchen, he was so overcome with joy and love for the children that he and Rose did have that any lingering hurt was soon overshadowed. He was already so lucky to have a soulmate and two beautiful little girls he'd made with his best friend. It was more luck than others could claim, and he suddenly had a greater appreciation and sympathy for his mum and dad, and all of the struggles they had with making a family.

"Morning, Daddy!" Ainsley said, looking up from where she was seated on the countertop, stirring a bowl for Rose.

"Good morning, my darling," he said, sweeping up to her to press a kiss to her hair. "What are you and Mummy making?"

"Pancakes! Banana pancakes for you an' me, boring pancakes for Mummy," Ainsley said excitedly, giggling as James stuck a finger into the batter and tasted it.

"Oi, there's raw egg in there," Rose chastised, keeping an eye on the sausages she was cooking.

"I'll take my chances," James said with a shrug. Then he walked over to the high chair Sianin was sitting in, munching on her own breakfast of scrambled eggs and dry cereal. "Oh, doesn't that look like a yummy breakfast combination!"

"Dada!" Sianin bounced happily in her seat as she shoved a fistful of eggs into her mouth.

"Love you, Sianin," he whispered, finding a food-free part of her head and pressing a kiss to it.

He returned to the stove, where Rose was simultaneously trying to cook sausages and pancakes while making sure Ainsley didn't burn herself.

"I can take over here," he said, shooing her away from the pancake pan. "Ainsley and I have got this under control. Ready to flip them, darling?"

"Yeah!"

Ainsley watched as James expertly slipped a spatula under the bubbling pancake and flipped it, revealing the golden-brown cooked side.

Several minutes later, they were all sitting down at the kitchen table with steaming plates of food and their breakfast beverage of choice. Rose scooted her chair closer to James's, and she rested her hand on his thigh. He smiled softly at her, and felt her give his leg a squeeze before she pulled it away to start on her breakfast.

Glancing around the table at his family, James felt nothing but warmth, happiness, and love. Yes, his family was perfect as it was, but hopefully soon, it would be one member larger.

With that optimistic and cheerful thought, James tucked into his breakfast with gusto.