Hi there! Here is the five part follow up fic to my FDTD one shot, New Beginnings!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with FDTD...I just like to play around with the characters at times.

Chapter 1

Kate was suffocating. She had to force herself to breath evenly as to not go into a full blown panic. In and out. In and out. It hadn't been long after she and the brothers departed Matanzas that the car walls began to close in on her, even with all of the windows down and fresh air blowing in.

"Kate?"

Kate turned her attention in the direction that the voice came from. She found Richie turned around in the front seat staring at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded her head and offered him a small smile; it was a fake one but she hoped he would buy it.

"Do you need me to pull over?" Seth asked her from the driver's seat.

Kate's eyes flickered up and made eye contact with him in the rear view mirror.

"No, I'm fine," she insisted, shaking her head, but the lie was evident to all three of them.

Even though she could tell by the looks that she received from them that they wanted to push her on it, neither questioned her further. All that had happened was still too fresh and they were aware that Kate would talk about it whenever she was ready. Whether that was now or even never.

Kate was grateful when just after dusk, Seth pulled over at a motel. None of them were up for driving or riding any more that night. Richie hadn't fed in a while and he was getting antsy. Seth and Kate were both exhausted from all they'd been through that day. Although, for Kate it was more of her being exhausted from the past six months. She couldn't remember the last time she'd truly gotten a good night's sleep, or even sleep at all. Apparently the Queen of Hell hadn't needed to sleep much. Though one would think that being so evil all the time would tire oneself out.

As soon as Seth had returned with the room key, Kate snatched it from his hand and made a beeline for the room. She was itching to get out of the leather clothing that Amaru had donned while inside her. It was probably wishful thinking on her part but Kate hoped that by getting out of those clothes she would be able to feel lighter, less frantic and panicky and bonded. She just wanted to feel free and like herself again. In a way, she was free now...at least compared to what she had been hours before. But she didn't ever think she could or would truly feel completely like herself again. Too much damage had been done over the past six months. And Kate wasn't sure if it was the irreversible kind.

"Don't use up all the hot water," Seth teased, walking into the room just as Kate was making her way into the bathroom.

Kate turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder as she decided to play along. She welcomed any distraction from how she was currently feeling.

"Just for that, I might," she replied, smirking at him before retreating into the bathroom.

Closing the door behind her, Kate made her way over to the shower and turned it on. As she waited for the water to warm up she set to stripping out of her leather bonds. Being released from the confines of the clothes, Kate felt a little lighter but nowhere near as much as she wanted to feel. It would be a long time before she felt as light as she once did, if she was lucky enough to ever feel that way again.

After tearing off the last piece of clothing, Kate leaned forward and braced herself on the counter. She stared at herself momentarily in the mirror but quickly looked away. Amaru's dark makeup still plagued her face and she couldn't bare to look at it. She still felt like she was sharing her body with Amaru. Until she shed herself of every last bit of Amaru, she didn't think she'd ever be able to look at herself again.

Kate pushed herself off of the counter and turned towards the shower. Stepping into the shower, Kate moaned quietly as the warm water rained down upon her. It was soothing. But it still wasn't enough. She needed more. The water itself was not enough to make her feel better, to make her any less disgusted with herself.

She felt the sudden urge to wash and scrub herself until her skin was red and raw. If she was lucky, her pain would go spiraling down the drain along with the makeup and all else. But even she knew that was impossible. That didn't mean she wouldn't try to make it happen though.

Kate turned and gripped the hot and cold knob and turned it all the way to scolding hot. Then she reached behind her, grabbing both her wash cloth and the motels complementary body wash. She damn near emptied the entire bottle onto the wash cloth before she began to scrub her entire body. As she scrubbed every inch of her body until she was all red and soapy, a small sense of relief washed over her when she watched the last remains of the black eye makeup go down the drain.

After that she focused her full attention of her wrists. She had purposely saved them for last. They were still covered up from earlier, she was almost afraid to look at them...to see the nasty cuts that were sure to become scars over time. Scars. The eventual scars on her wrists would forever be a reminder of what happened. Out of all of the wounds that healed on her already, why couldn't her wrists have been part of them? The realization that she'd never completely get past what happened hit her like a freight train.

"No, no, no, no!" Kate exclaimed, pulling the coverings off of her wrists.

Dried up blood surrounded the cuts on both wrists, making Kate's stomach turn. Kate swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. This was just too much. She frantically began to scrub both of her wrists, switching the washcloth back and forth from one to the other. She scrubbed and scrubbed until the washcloth started to turn red and the shower floor became covered with red water.

Kate dropped the washcloth to the floor and looked down at her now bleeding wrists. Instead of panicking, she watched as blood ran out of the cuts and down the sides of her wrist onto the shower floor. She wasn't sure what came over her in that moment, but for some reason she barely felt a thing. The fact that she was bleeding out again didn't even register in her head as a bad thing. A big part of her just didn't care.

Looking up, Kate looked out through the clear window towards the top of the curtain. She once again caught her gaze in the mirror. But without the makeup, her focus was on her bright red hair. Unlike with the makeup which made Kate anxious to scrub herself raw, something about her hair made her feel angry and she just couldn't take it anymore.

Grabbing the first thing she could get her hands on, which turned out to be the shampoo bottle, she threw it against the wall on the other side of the shower. It hit the wall with a bang and dropped to the ground landing with a thud that rivaled the bang. If there was anyone staying in the next room, they were sure to have heard it. Seth probably heard it, too. But Kate still couldn't bring herself to care about anything in that moment.

Kate lowered herself onto the shower floor, pulling her legs up against her and wrapping her arms around them tightly. She laid her chin on her knees as she began to rock back and forth. Her tears followed soon after. And after that came the shortness of breath and the shakes as her anger turned into more panic.

What felt like an eternity passed by, which was really only a few seconds in real time, before she heard a frantic knock on the bathroom door.

"Kate!" Seth called from the other side of the door. "Are you okay?!"

Kate opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. Instead, Kate closed her mouth and continued to rock herself back and forth. She couldn't bring herself to answer out loud because whatever she did say was sure to be a lie. She wasn't okay, but admitting it out loud would make things even more real than they already were.

The sound of the bathroom door banging against the wall behind it caught her attention. A short time later, Kate glanced up and caught Seth's gaze through the curtain window. His eyes were heavy with sleep. A small ping of guilt coursed through her. She felt bad that she'd woken him, he was just as exhausted as she was and would still be sleeping if it hadn't been for her little outburst.

"Can you stand?" Seth asked her.

Kate shook her head no. Her body was wracking with shakes and sobs. She probably could stand, she just wasn't sure for how long. She decided she wasn't going to chance it.

Seth reached forward and gripped the side of the curtain, but hesitated before opening it. "Can I?"

Kate nodded her head, giving him silent permission.

Seth slowly pulled open the shower curtain, his eyes widening at the sight of the red water. It was nowhere near as red as when Kate had first scrubbed the cuts to bleed again. But it was still enough to cause Seth more concern. He turned to grab two hand towels and a regular towel from the stack of towels on the counter before rushing back to the shower.

Reaching in he turned the water off and kneeled down next to Kate. Seeing him unfold the hand towels, Kate stretched out her right arm to him so he could wrap her wrist and then did the same with her other one. Seth then unfolded the big towel and Kate raised her arms so he could wrap it around her.

"I'm going to lift you on three," he told her as he slid an arm under her knees and wrapped his other one around her back.

She nodded in understanding, wrapping her own arm around his neck.

"Alright, on three," Seth repeated. "One. Two. Three."

As soon as Seth was standing with her in his arms, Kate brought her other arm around and clasped her hands together. She was still shaking some and although she wasn't sobbing as much, tears were still falling from her eyes.

Seth lead them into the bedroom and sat down on his bed with Kate in his lap. A small smile made its way onto Kate's face as Seth began to gently rub circles all over her back. It had always been comforting to her that no matter how much of an asshole he could be to others, and to her off and on during their "Mexican Honeymoon," Seth was always a complete gentleman with her when his mind was his own. He didn't feel the need to constantly act all macho and egotistical around her like most men would. He was just Seth. And for that, she was so grateful.

It wasn't long before Kate stopped shaking, and her tears ceased to keep falling. There was something about being in Seth's presence that gave her the strength to overcome any and everything, even when she actually felt weak and used up. Deep down, she was aware that she had the strength to do that on her own. But there were times when she didn't feel up to acknowledging that strength, but Seth certainly had no issue bringing it up to the surface. He always gave her a reason to keep fighting even though there were times when she wanted to just give up. Honestly, he was the reason. Well, he was one of the reasons at least. But he was the main one in the sense that he'd never given up on her, not completely anyways. By being forced to look into his soul, Kate had learned that even when it seemed like Seth had given up on her, deep down there was always a small part of him that didn't believe she was gone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seth asked her after she had calmed down, successfully breaking her from her thoughts.

"I'm not ready," she whispered as she shook her head against his chest.

"Okay." He sighed. "Well whenever you are, I'm here for you."

Kate leaned back and offered him a small smile of gratitude. "I think I'm settled down enough now," she told him softly.

"Oh, right," he replied, suddenly sporting a guilty look on his face.

Kate stared at him curiously, wondering what the guilty look was about. Had he liked holding her for more time than was necessary? If she wasn't so exhausted she'd probably have pondered the question longer.

"I should probably get dressed," Kate said as she moved off of his lap onto the bed next to him.

"Shit," Seth muttered under his breath, standing up abruptly.

"What?" Kate asked curiously, tightening the towel around herself.

"None of us even thought to get you any clothes," Seth answered quietly, looking anywhere but at her.

Kate looked down at the floor then. "Oh," she responded.

Well that definitely changed things. There was no way she was going to put those leather bonds of torture back on. She'd sooner stay there wrapped in that towel until she could get a hold of new clothes.

"Here," Seth said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Kate looked up to see him standing there with his arm held out, a tank top and pair of his boxers in his hand.

"These will have to do you for the night," he told her as she reached out to take them. "I'll go into the bathroom and let you change out here. It's probably best to not put you back in there right now."

Kate nodded in agreement. Right now the last thing she wanted was to look into another mirror. She wasn't sure if she could trust her own reflection to not let her down again.

Seth glanced at her one last time before turning to go to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Kate stood up slowly and let her towel fall to the ground before she began to dress herself. A small smile made its way onto her lips once she was fully dressed. There was something strangely comforting about wearing Seth's clothes. That was something else she'd probably have pondered for longer if she wasn't so tired.

Exhausted, Kate climbed onto the bed and slipped under the covers. Her bed was only a few feet away, but she figured she'd stand a better chance at getting some sleep if she wasn't sleeping alone. Richie could take the other bed whenever he returned from his feed run. Snuggling into the pillow that also oddly smelled like Seth, most likely due to him leaning against it while she was in the shower earlier, Kate found herself drifting off to sleep almost instantly.

~sleepinghabits~

Kate wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep before she was partially awoken by the sound of the motel room door opening and closing. Still half asleep she could hear muffled voices but wasn't paying any attention to what was said. That is until she heard Seth saying something about him and Richie just having to grin and bear sharing the other bed since she was in his. They'd apparently done it quite a bit when they were kids so they could stomach it for one night. Yeah, well she and Seth had shared beds during their Richie dubbed, "Mexican Honeymoon." They could do it again.

"Seth," she mumbled as she patted the bed next to her. "Here."

Kate stayed in her half asleep, half awake state until she felt the bed sink in next to her.

"Whatever you say, princess." Seth chuckled. "But first, we need to doctor your wrists," he told her, reaching out to grab the arm closest to him.

Kate groaned, shaking her head. She gripped her pillow tighter, refusing to let go of it to roll over. She just wanted to sleep, she was exhausted. Couldn't they do that later?

"Come on, Kate," she heard Richie say from the other side of her as Seth pulled her closer to him so that Richie could sit on the bed, too. "They could get infected if we don't take care of them.

"Or worse, you could bleed out again," Seth added. "And no amount of a blood transfusion would help this time."

In most cases, the prospect of such an infection or bleeding out would've had her complying in a heartbeat. But after all she had been through, she was willing to risk it all as long as she got to sleep.

"No, later," she whined.

"Roll over onto your back," Seth instructed, pushing gently at her shoulder. "I will do one wrist, Richie will do the other. Then you can go back to sleep."

Kate sighed and reluctantly did as he told her to, knowing that he wouldn't let it go until she complied with his demands.

"Attagirl," both brothers said in tandem.

Reaching both of her hands up, Kate stuck up her three middle fingers at each of them. "Read between the lines," she said, stifling a yawn, earning a chuckle from them both.

"Now, now. There's no need for that," Richie said, reaching for her right arm.

"We're just trying to help you out here," Seth added on, getting started on doctoring her left wrist.

Kate stuck her tongue out, keeping her eyes closed. "Less talking, more doctoring," she ordered. "I wanna sleep."

"Yes, ma'am," they both replied jokingly at once.

Kate rolled her eyes to herself and forced herself not to let a small smile show on her face. She laid there completely still as they worked on her wrists, yawning periodically. She couldn't help but feel safe and protected laying there in between them. In Seth's boxers and tank top none-the-less. That thought alone sent a warm fuzzy feeling tingling throughout her body.

Whether she was ready to forgive them both yet or not, it was a good feeling to know that they'd always be there for her. If anyone had said she'd be in that position, feeling that way, a year ago she would've told them they needed to go spend more time in church. But now that she was actually living it, she came to the realization that she wouldn't want it any other way.

"All done, princess," Seth said, breaking her from her thoughts, as he let go of her arm. "You can go back to sleep now."

Kate smiled briefly. "Thank you both," she murmured, rolling back over fully to her side of the bed when she felt Richie stand up. "Night."

"Night, Kate," Richie replied.

"Sleep tight, princess."

As she fell back into a full sleep, Kate could've sworn she felt Seth press a kiss to her forehead.

So there you have it! Please feel free to leave me a review to let me know whether you liked it or not. Until next time!