"Q, you feeling okay?"

Quinn wants to roll her eyes, because it reminds her of when Sue asked her the same question almost two years ago, when she quivered on top of the pyramid because she was pregnant with Beth. Everything always comes back to Beth.

The thing is, she hates that. That everything in the last two years finds a way to come back to Beth. And she resents that Shelby has come back to town, wanting her to get to know the baby she gave up for adoption a year and a half ago.

Because really, all Quinn wants to do is to forget. She cleaned her act up when Shelby kept hounding her about it. She quit the Skanks, dyed her hair back to blonde, took out her nose ring, and rejoined the cheerios AND glee club. She didn't need Puck and Shelby breathing down her neck about saving her tortured soul. She's fine.

She isn't. Hasn't been since that night in her bed with Puck and those damn wine coolers.

But she will be.

She'll be fine when she forgets.

So, no, she has no intention of seeing Beth. And putting the tight, short cheerios uniform back on her forever baby-changed body helps call off Puck and Shelby a little bit. But Sue still seems worried about her, if she's even capable of genuine concern for another human being. She's probably just worried about winning nationals.

"Quinn?"

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm fine, coach."

Sue stares at her for a moment, tilting her head to the side in scrutiny before asking her if she's managed to fall pregnant again.

Because everything comes back to Beth.

"No," she says tightly, "I'll see you tomorrow, Coach Sylvester. I'm fine."

She doesn't want to go to glee club. Really, it's the last thing in the world that she wants to do. She doesn't want to talk about it. Genuinely, she doesn't. But it's depressing how no one sees through her façade, or at least no one cares enough to act on it if they do.

Just because she doesn't want to talk about it doesn't mean that she doesn't want anyone to ask.

But the sad, ironic truth is that even though glee club is supposed to be about appreciating each other's differences and accepting each other as complex, multi-faceted human beings, everyone in that room sees her through a one-dimensional lens. To them, she's just a bitch.

Some of them were worried when she was skanking it up, but now that the fucking cheerleading uniform is back on, everything is fine. Because she's a bitch. And if she's backing to being head bitch in charge on the cheerios, well then, all is well.

(Well, second head bitch in charge. She's not going to put in the effort to try to usurp Santana's captainship this time. Even though she's clearly the superior cheerleader. She just doesn't really care anymore.)

Never mind the fact that she dropped off the face of the planet and spent most of the summer having drunken sex with a fifty-year-old, or the fact that the baby she gave up for adoption is back in town. She's back to playing directly into their expectations of her. So no need to worry.

Mr. Schuester is droning on about finding new members since Sam left, and good god, how do they always find themselves shortchanged on members? Well, it is glee club, but they've been at this for two years now. You'd think they'd at least have a steady membership.

For a moment, Quinn wonders if Sam being there would change anything. If he would at least try to reach out to her. Probably, she thinks, because for better or for worse, he's always given a shit about her. Even after she cheated on him, he still considered her a friend. Hell, there were other girls at their church who knew about his family losing their house that he could have let help with his siblings.

But Sam's not there, and he's not really her friend anymore, anyway. There was no bitter falling out. He just was busy with Mercedes that summer and then all of the sudden he moved away.

It sucks, because he was maybe the only true, genuine friend that she had. Though, for whatever reason, Santana had been really trying to connect with her as of late. It's weird, because they've mostly ever gone at each other's throats, but maybe that's the point. Maybe now that Santana's head cheerleader and Quinn isn't trying to take her down, Santana wants to keep it that way.

"Quinn," a familiar voice calls after her as she leaves the choir room after the merciful ending of yet another Finn and Rachel duet.

Speak of the devil.

"What do you want, Santana?"

"Lose the tone, Fabray. Listen, you heard what Mr. Schuester said about recruiting new members, right? Well, I was thinking Sadie, that new cheerio, the one with the red hair and the ambiguous sexual orientation. What do you think?"

"You should talk to her. Or make out with her. I'm not really sure what you're getting at here."

"I was thinking," Santana says firmly, grabbing Quinn's wrist to stop her from walking away, "that you and I could talk to her about joining glee club together."

"And why do you need me for that?"

"Okay, what the fuck is going on with you, Fabray?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not trying to take my spot as cheerleading captain and you always seem kind of blank faced and checked out. Like you're not actually here. What's going on? Is it that Shelby bitch? Because I could totally kick her ass."

"Look, if you're just trying to be buddy-buddy with me so that I won't try and take your spot, you can spare yourself the effort. I don't want to be head cheerleader."

"Well, why not?"

"I just don't."

"I'm worried about you," she says quickly, looking at the ground as if she's ashamed to have admitted it out loud.

"That's cute."

"Look, Quinn, if something's wrong, you can tell me, okay? I know we used to go after each all of the time, but I'm kind of over that. I mean, if you change your mind and try to become captain of the cheerios again, I'll cut you, but other than that I don't want to fight anymore. It's our senior year. I just want to be friends."

"That's touching and all, but I'm fine."

"No you're not. I heard you the other day in the locker room after practice."

Oh fuck.

"What are you talking about," Quinn asks, even though she knows exactly what Santana is talking about.

"You thought everyone was already gone, but I came back because I forgot my phone. And I heard you throwing up. Look, Q, I know we all tried that a couple of times when we first joined the squad our freshman year because of Coach Sylvester and her crazy dieting advice, but then we all dropped it because it's insane and unhealthy. You're naturally skinny and since you're not even trying to become head cheerleader again, why are you trying to lose weight?"

"I wasn't throwing up."

"Quinn, I know what I heard."

"And I've known what I've heard every time you, me, and Brittany have shared a room at cheerleading competitions, and I just do the polite thing and pretend I don't hear anything."

It's a low blow and she knows it. She knows that Santana and Brittany have been trying to figure out what exactly it is between them since Brittany and Artie broke up, but that Santana's nowhere near ready to come out of the closet. But really, she just wants Santana to leave her alone, so she can take the guilt of hurting her feelings.

"Experimenting with Brittany isn't the same thing as making yourself throw up."

She supposes that she should lie and tell Santana that it wasn't on purpose, but she knows that Santana is too smart for that and beyond that, Quinn just doesn't really care. She doesn't care about much of anything anymore.

Except trying to forget.

So she braces herself, puts on her best bitch face and says, "Santana, you're gay," and walks away before she can see the other girl's face twist with shock and hurt.

Santana doesn't follow her.

And now she's really all alone.