Prologue

The ticking of the clock was the only indication of time passing. The rest of the world kept moving outside of the bedroom, unaware of what was going on behind the locked door.

He lifted a small pouch from a secret drawer under the bed and opened the leather flap, revealing the blades that shone within. Green fingers removed a clean silver blade from the pouch. He took a deep breath, setting the blade against his wrist.

But he didn't press down.

It had been weeks since Hamato Leonardo cut himself. And though today hadn't been a particularly good day for him, the turtle wasn't about to break the promise he had made to his youngest brother. It had been a long, hard day for the blue-clad leader. And even though he had talked to Leatherhead a few days prior, he just didn't have the strength to keep pushing. So he took a blade to his wrist. And Mikey found him.

"Promise me you'll stop cutting," Mikey said. Tears glistened in his eyes and his lower lip trembled. But his voice was strong.

"Why?"

"We already lost Dad. We can't lose you too."

So Leo promised.

For weeks, he hadn't watched the blood drip down his skin. For weeks he had managed to be strong enough to get by. And every time he thought about Mikey's face, those tears in his baby blue eyes, he held off a little longer.

Leo took another breath, staring at the metal against his green skin. It taunted him like Raph had during practice that morning. Go ahead. No one will care. No one will even notice.

"Mikey will," the blue-banded turtle whispered. "And I can't hurt him like that. Not again."

It took some effort, but he slowly put the blade back into the pouch and sealed it, then tossed the pouch into the drawer again. Once the drawer was closed, Leo turned to his journal and wrote down a single line.

Day 21 - Clean.