A/N: Just a small middle in the night piece that I thought meh why not because there will never be enough Bokuaka published. Hope it'll be worth you're time love, /hugs MJ

"Come on, just admit it already," Konoha teased as he rearranged some one of the mattrasses for comfort. Him, Bokuto and Komi were all sitting around and talking on the beds they were supposed to pack up (with Washio the only one actually packing in the corner) after the week long training camp. It had been rough as always, but it was now an annual thing for the Fukurodani team, much team bonding and such. Problem was, this much time together seemed to make certain members think they had some kind of passport on privacy just because they'd practically shared beds.

"It's so obvious you're head over heels for him!" The blonde continued, gesturing widely with his hands.

"Are you kidding me?" Bokuto laughed obnoxiously to try and cover his vulnerable feelings up. "Nah, man for once you're wrong in these matters."

"Come on, we've all seen the way you look at him," Komi stated and Washio nodded mutely from afar. The sneaky giant was listening after all then.

"Well I won't deny that he's good looking," Bokuto said pretending to be pondering. He damn well knew that Akaashi was a goddess on earth and beauty reincarnated. "But that's all there is to it, so he's nothing for me!" he stated, loosing himself in his desperate ways to cover up his crush. He talked on auto as he often did when he was stressed, because if he started thinking about it he'd get nervous and jittery and blush and mess up. And he couldn't mess this one up. If one of the members told Akaashi and the setter didn't feel the same, he'd loose his chance.

He didn't dare do that, because he couldn't lose Akaashi beside him. He had to wait for everyone to know before he knew what Akaashi felt to save them both from unnecessary pain and pride break. So therefor, the only way was to deny the crush until the others started minding their own business.

"We know you're lying Bokuto," Konoha tsked disapprovingly, shaking his head.

This made Bokuto's heartbeat pick up, so he tried a nonchalant response to try and fool the guys that Akaashi and him were polar opposites. (Which they kind of were, but those attract, don't they?) "I mean like, I like people with emotions you know?"

Wrapped up in his frantic thoughts as his mouth went on, he also missed the sudden panicked looks both Komi and Konoha gave him.

"Uh Bokuto-" Konoha started but said captain just laughed again. The panic was creeping up on him as he read disbelief on Washio's face, so he almost frantically powdered it up to make his statement more believable.

"Like hello, is there anyone in that shell? Nothing other than some old fashioned banging perhaps could-"

"Bokuto!" Komi shouted to shut him up, brown eyes frightened as he stared at something behind the boy.

You could probably pinpoint the moment Bokuto's heart stopped in his throat, the exact moment he met wide and familiar eyes.

It was only for a horrifying eternity of a second, but it didn't matter that he only got a glance. The dark green orbs that Bokuto would often have a hard time reading were clearly showing him pain and betrayal. But only for that one tiny moment, before Akaashi spun on his heel and left through the doorway he'd been standing in.

Hearing the whole thing, Bokuto realized, mind shutting off in the horrible realisation. Impossibly large gold eyes stared at the doorway, Konoha's worried shout of "Akaashi!" and Komi's "Wait!" resonating as heard through water.

He didn't notice someone shaking his shoulder at first, stuck in a state of shock and disbelief as he continued staring.

All at once though, his senses shot back into his body, making him jump and knock over Komi before sprinting out the entrance with a loud shout of "Akaashi!"

As he sprinted away to the main door, he nearly ran into their very shocked assistant coach. He didn't bother to pay him any head though, as he continued his rushing.

"Wait!" He rushed, jacket somehow inappropriately getting stuck in the door so he quickly bended it off to continue after his setter. Well outside, he immediately noticed Akaashi with his bag over his shoulder, pretty far ahead of him on the road that lead to the buss station. "Akaashi!" He shouted with a growing fear.

"Hey, where you going?!" He tried casually as he finally caught up with a heavy breath. He started walking briskly behind his friend, hoping against hope that Akaashi simply hadn't heard what he said, or that he didn't know who Bokuto was talking about. "We're all having dinner together and such you know; you can't go home already!"

But Akaashi ignored him, walking almost unnoticeably faster, making Bokuto's heart drop if possible even lower. He'd heard alright.

"Akaashi wait, okay I'm sorry but you have to listen to me!" Bokuto asked desperately as he almost tripped over his own feet. "I promise I can explain! I panicked and didn't mean any of it, I was-!"

"Leave me alone Bokuto-san," Akaashi cut him of, but there was definitely something wrong with his voice. Bokuto felt another stab through his chest, feeling more hate towards himself than he'd ever before thought possible.

But he had to fix this, so with a pull on his arm he forced Akaashi to meet his gaze, and Bokuto's heart probably stopped as he did. Tears were glittering sharply in turquoise eyes, a sight that made Bokuto's before panickly loud voice disappear altogether.

And so they just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before the smaller of the two spoke up.

"I should have known you were just like everybody else then," he said with a sniff that wrung out Bokuto's very soul. "Like hey, let's all take our chance at Akaashi, the pretty face with the empty personality! You know the one who's feelings have all been erased by a vacuum cleaner, it's not like he'll care!" Akaashi nearly shouted at him, and it tugged so much at Bokuto's heart that you wouldn't believe. The setter simply never raised his voice, and he never displayed brokenness like that. Because no matter how desperately the setter tried to cover up his pain with anger, it was obvious he was upset.

Of course he had every right to be and of course Bokuto was supposed to feel like the world's biggest jack-ass, like he did and more.

"But guess what," Akaashi continued, voice cracking. "I fucking have emotions and I said leave me alone!"

"You have to listen to me!" Bokuto begged, "Please, I can explain!"

Akaashi just shook his head sharply though, making a few tears glitter through the air. "Let go of me," he demanded, and only then did Bokuto realise his hard hold on the setter's thin wrists.

"I can't, please Akaashi I can't lose you," he begged, loosening his hold but not letting go.

"Let go."

"I can't. Please talk to me."

They just stared at each other for another small eternity, Akaashi shaking as he finally responded, tears finally leaking to run down pale cheeks. "I'm… I'm pretty used to people thinking like that about me. I get it," he mumbled, and what wouldn't Bokuto give to get rid of that twinge of self-loathing amongst all of the suppressed pain. "I just thought… I just thought that it was okay, because I knew you were different." When the one he cared about most in the world pulled away from his grip, he couldn't do a thing.

Bokuto could only stand and feel his heart break beyond repair at the next spoken words.

"Clearly I was wrong all along."

And so he watched the one he loved walk away. After a few meters, the boy started sprinting, and all Bokuto could do was fall to his knees, shaking with great sobs that showed no sign of stopping even as the sky grew darker.

He tugged at his own hair, wanting to scream all of his feelings towards the heaven but knowing he had only himself to blame.

And so he screamed, not at the heavens, but at himself and his damn cowardice.

A/N: *Carefully closes laptop* I should not be allowed to write at this hour.