Hm. Crazy things happened. Then COVID happened. Then I was working from home. With an 18months old. Now I'm on bedrest for risk of preterm labor (I'm 32 weeks).

It's been a trying few months. I hope you're all safe out there!

P.E Teacher

Chapter 9

"Kagome…"

"Shouldn't we…."

"Stop them?"

Miroku and Sango were exchanging glances as the commotion behind them grew larger and larger. No one could exactly pinpoint how it had begun, but as per usual, Kouga and Inuyasha were fighting as though they were mortal enemies. It was nothing new, but this time; they had cranked the heat up a little. Inuyasha was ready to pummel Kouga into the ground and Kouga was more than ready to return the favor. There was no possible way any of it would end well. Usually, Kagome would end it - mostly by sitting Inuyasha into the ground. Today was not the case. Instead, she was calmly packing her bag, shoving her sleeping bag back into it as thought nothing was happening.

"Nope," she finally replied with a pop of the lips. "They're big boys, they can figure it out."

It was their tenth fight during the past three days. She was a bit tired of policing them around - unless either of them were in a deadly danger; she was staying out of it. Every time she got involved, one of them would get moody over it - mostly Inuyasha. Plus, she knew they would not actually hurt each other. It was true that they were hiding it, but deep inside, they were friends. If they wanted to do a manly display of power, that was their business. As long as it was not interfering with what they were trying to do - she would let them be. She was tired of playing the role of the bad guy and always sitting Inuyasha.

She was friends with everyone; they were all friends.

"What if they kill each other?" Shippo asked, a lollipop in his mouth. He was watching the fight, his back pressed against a rock.

"They don't kill each other," she replied, still not looking at them fighting.

"I'll kill you, you mangy wolf."

"Not if I kill you first, you muttface."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

Once everything was safely tucked away in her backpack, she zipped it closed and picked it up from the ground before tossing it over her shoulder. For the first time, she glanced towards the cloud of dust that surrounded Kouga and Inuyasha's fight. "I'm leaving," she stated matter-of-the-factly. That was all. Then her attention was refocused on Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kirara. "Are you guys coming?"

There were dark forces at work and they could not afford to not find out what Naraku was up to right now. Trails and trails of death bodies were showing up; human and youkai alike. On top of it, there were these weirdos popping up, and they needed to be careful. She was not even sure that staying in the same spot too long was even a good idea at this point. It was best if they kept on moving. Naraku was getting out of control and he had to be stopped - even if some people were too busy fighting to realize that. That and their recent battle with that strange Renkotsu had not helped but her mind at ease. These attacks against them were planned, and she knew that more were coming.

Having the wolves with them helped greatly during the battles, and she could not help but wonder how well or poorly they had done in the original timeline- the one she had not screwed up. Things could not have gone that badly since everyone had made it through the final battle - at least that was what she had gathered from future Kouga. It was not like he was very vocal about the future and what would happen to everyone. She could not think about this, she could not imagine was she was screwing up; she had to keep herself focused on the present.

"Oi, where do you think you're going?" Inuyasha screamed at her, finally pulling his attention away from the fight.

But she did not answer.

"Ya gonna get yourself killed ya, idiot." Why did she have to go off on her own like that? Couldn't she wait? It was not his fault he had to take care of the stupid wolf. She was the one who brought him along in the first place. Keh.

"What did ya call her?" Kouga asked while taking a step forward, lowering his stance. He knew that mutt had not just called his Kagome an idiot? How did she even tolerate him?

"I didn't ask ya, st-" But he stopped. He tore his eyes away from Kouga as a familiar scent wrapped itself around his nose. As he searched the sky, he quickly found what he had been looking for; Kikyo's soul collectors. They were carrying souls, waving through the piercing blue sky, and it could only mean one thing; she was nearby.

Kouga was yelling at him, but he had already shut him out. All words fell on deaf ears as he followed the soul collectors with his glance, his heart pulling at him. As he followed them in the distance, his position changed, and from the corner of his eyes he could see Kagome. He could not look straight at her; guilt was already swelling in his chest. But -but he had to go. She knew… she understood. He had always made it clear, had he not? He had to go. He owed it to Kikyo to make sure she was all right. He threw one glance at Kouga before running away from the wolf.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"Kouga - let him go."

The tone of Kagome's voice was enough to shatter his heart. He had heard her use it once before, and it was when he had walked in on Inuyasha with that clay smelling woman. Kagome had been sad, she had been broken. Her beautiful face was painted with the same sadness as she avoided his glance, opting to look into the woods, longing in her eyes. He would kill that fucking dog. What was it that he had done exactly? What was this great thing Inuyasha had done that had earned him Kagome's love? All he had ever witnessed was him treating her like shit. He was also constantly running off after another woman! Meanwhile, Kouga was her friend, but he was willing to give her the world.

It made no damn sense.

Rage was pulsating through him, his claws itching to dig into something. If it were not for the overwhelming sadness that coated Kagome's skin, he probably would have run off head first. But, much like he had done the first time such a scenario had been presented to him, he stayed grounded - for her sake. He would not hurt her the way Inuyasha was hurting her. He loved her. He would throw away his instincts once more in the hopes of not deepening her heartbreak.

One day, Inuyasha would pay for treating her like this. He would pay for not treasuring what he had.

Kouga would make sure of it.

-P-

"Inuyasha has been gone for a long time," Sango noted as she watched the sky light up to a soft blue, signalling the start of a new day.

"He never usually spends the night away when he goes to see lady Kikyo," Miroku noted in a hush tone.

Both of them were attempting to keep their conversation under wrap, not wanting to deepen the hurt their friend was experiencing. However, it was difficult not to be concerned. He should have returned by now. The fact that he was still missing was cause for concern. Would they dare bring it up, or was it best kept under wrap?

"That idiot can stay away for all I care," Kouga commented, a little louder than necessary. He did not know why they were so upset he was not back. As far as he was concerned? Good riddance. He had hurt Kagome, and he did not feel like seeing him - at least not if he could not fight him.

Sango and Miroku had talked subtly enough that he had flown under the radar, but not the same could be said about Kouga. It forced Kagome to lift her head and to stare at him. "They're right," she finally responded, skipping a beat. "He should have been back by now. Maybe something happened to him - or Kikyo."

She knew where he had gone. They knew where he had gone. Everyone knew. There was no point in beating around the bush. Plus, it did not change the fact that she did care for Inuyasha. She did not want something to happen to him. Also, if Kikyo was in danger, it would hurt Inuyasha as well. No matter the current situation, a person she cared about would be hurt. She could not do nothing. She could not be selfish like that. "Maybe we should try to find him," she added.

Find him? How in the world…

He had to be in some sort of nightmare. Why was everyone agreeing about this? If Inutrasha got in trouble, he more than deserved what was coming to him. He was hurting Kagome his Kagome. Maybe if he had stayed instead of wandering about with another woman, nothing would have happened. Kagome… she was the most selfless person he had ever met, the most loyal. That idiot was breaking her heart, and yet, she was worried about his safety. How was she so blind when it came to that dog? He would never return her loyalty, Kouga was sure of it.

"Fine, let's go," he grunted, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he looked away from the group. Friends, he had to remind himself. There was no point hurting Kagome and fighting with her over this. If his woman wanted to go look for that idiot, they would. Anything for her. Maybe it would help her see that he was actually on her side and that he would never toss her away. Although, he refused to understand how someone - aka Inutrasha - could pick anyone over Kagome.

Kagome had to admit, she was a little startled by his reply. She expected him to put up more of a fight than that. She had to admit though; she was grateful he had not. She did not need him to rub the situation in her face. She knew what was happening, and she did not need the constant reminder. She promised him. And she would keep her promise. It was good to have a stronger group against Naraku and it would allow Kouga to have the revenge he wanted without risking to hurt himself - or worse. Granted, he was still alive in the future, but - things were changing. Who knew what might happen to him now that he was traveling with them? If he died - it would all be on her and this was not something she wanted to live with her whole life.

She was about to bend down, ready to pick up her fully loaded yellow bag pack when it was swooped from her. She saw a blur as Kouga put the strap around his arm, carrying it for her. "Kouga, I can carry my bag."

"It weights nothin'," he said as he began to walk away, refusing to give her a chance to protest. She might be used to Inuyasha leaving her to fend for herself, but friends or not, he would take care of his woman. It wasn't like he didn't think she was strong or nothing, but why limit her motions, slow her down and have her spend more energy than necessary? She was already wasting her time going after that fucking mutt. The least he could do was help her carry this big thing.

No sense in arguing… She had to pick her battles and since they would go look for Inuyasha with little protest coming from him…

It was probably as good as it would get.

-P-

She's dying.

Those were the only words Inuyasha had said, and only that had been required. The look in his eyes, the pained expression painted across his features; it had been enough for her to grasp the urgency of the situation. He was covered in cuts, shielding Kikyo's body in his arms as she remained motionless, barely able to twitch her own fingers. Kagome had scouted the sky for signs of her soul collectors, but they were nowhere to be found. How could Kikyo die? Weren't they supposed to come running, refilling her with souls so that she could keep on living? The tears blurred her sight, stinging her eyes; emotions were bubbling inside of her at the sight that she was offered.

Inuyasha was hurt, he was crushed.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, rendering her oblivious to everything happening around her. She knew they had barely survived the fight with the band of seven. She knew they were lucky to be alive - and she wasn't sure they would have made it through without Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku. Inuyasha's focus had been to protect Kikyo, although it had almost cost him his life. Then again, was she truly surprised that he would die for her? He had tried to do it once before; he had almost let her drag him to hell with him - without even putting a fight. He would die for her - he loved her.

Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand on her shoulder, bringing her back to reality. "Ya okay?"

She didn't need to see him to recognize Kouga's deep voice. The rage in his eyes had been hard to miss when he saw Kikyo and Inuyasha, but instead of yelling at him, he had focused on fighting. It was a good thing though that the band of seven had unexpectedly retracted themselves from the fight. Whatever their end goal, it was best. They were too distracted as a team; Inuyasha's focus was Kikyo and well, Kouga's was Inuyasha.

She nodded. "I'm fine, thank you." Her voice was a lot more unsteady than she wanted, but she knew it was pointless to hide her current state from anyone. As shameful as it was, they all knew. They all knew her heart was shattering. But it did not matter; she would keep a straight face. This wasn't about her. Most of all, they had to figure something out for Kikyo. She didn't walk away from Kouga, allowing his hand to linger on her shoulder.

"Inuyasha?" she tried, although she wasn't sure he would even listen to her. "Take Kikyo out of here."

But he listened. "What?"

"I don't know what it is, but she can't get better while she's here. I can't see her soul collectors."

"Mt. Hakurei," Kikyo spoke softly. Her eyes never opened, her lips barely moved, but it was enough for her to be heard.

"What about it?" Inuyasha barked out.

"I don't think it's a good place for her," Kagome replied even though none of his attention was directed towards her. His eyes were glued to Kikyo, his grip on her tightening with each passing second. "Take her away, we'll wait for you here."

If he came back. If Kikyo got better. If she didn't, she knew they wouldn't see him for a while. Emergencies were popping up left and right, and she didn't even know which fire they should put out. But Inuyasha's focus was on Kikyo and if they didn't solve that problem, they wouldn't be getting his help and they needed it. Plus, he wouldn't be his usual self if he spent all of his time worrying about Kikyo's safety. This was for the best. They would try taking her away from here, and then, if that didn't work… Kagome would try to help. She had to - else it would break Inuyasha's heart, and it was the last thing she needed.

Inuyasha never looked at Kagome - he couldn't. If he looked at her face, he knew what he would see and he couldn't bear it. Already he could smell the sadness rolling off of her and it was overwhelming. What did she want him to do about it? It was his fault any of this happened to Kikyo and he couldn't leave her to die like this. He owed her; he had made her promises that he couldn't forget. Nothing else mattered - at least not right now. His goal was to make sure she lived, and he would disregard everything else until then. Even Kagome. Even if it hurt her, even if it hurt him. He had to - it was his duty.

"Keh." That was the only reply he gave before he rose his feet, Kikyo securely against his body. "You idiots better not get killed while I'm gone."

As Inuyasha raised his head, he felt Kouga's temper flaring up. He stood in front of him, nothing more than a meter of distance between them. It was easy to tell that the only thing Kouga wanted to do was pounce him and beat his face into the ground. Small static was forming around his hand, but Inuyasha didn't have time to wonder what that was. He didn't care about the wolf's threats. He knew what he wanted to tell him, and he didn't want to hear it. He was a no good mangy wolf who thought he deserved Kagome when he didn't.

No words were spoken as Inuyasha walked past him, although the tension was felt by all. Kouga's body was trembling of rage, his fists demanding blood. Never did he want his woman to feel like this. Kagome was beautiful, she was perfect - how could she stand the way Inuyasha was treating her? What had he ever done that earned him her complete loyalty like this? He didn't even care if he never got to be the one receiving Kagome's love. He just wanted to make sure that Inuyasha would never be the one for her. How could he make her see that whatever she thought was between them… it wasn't love?

Once Inuyasha and Kikyo were gone, silence filled the area. No one wanted to be the first one to speak, and no one wanted to say the wrong thing. Most of them knew Kagome had gone through this more than once, but it didn't mean it was any easier to witness it.

And so, Kagome was the one to break the silence. "Let's make sure everyone is safe."

She needed something to occupy her mind.

-P-

"Kagome?"

"Yea?" she replied as she watched over the pot, hoping that the water would boil soon so she could make everyone ramen.

Inuyasha hadn't come back yet, but she wasn't worried. Kikyo wasn't dead. It wasn't easy to explain why she knew, but she knew. Maybe it was because of the piece of her soul that remained inside of her… maybe it was because she was her reincarnation, she didn't know. However, she knew the claw Miko was alive. There was another reason Inuyasha hadn't come back yet. Maybe he wanted to spend more time with Kikyo, maybe she was still weak… Maybe he didn't want to face her… she didn't know. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. She didn't want to think about it. They had more important things to take care of right now.

"I - nevermind."

They already had this conversation. He already told her he didn't understand why she was loyal to the mutt. Having this conversation one more time wouldn't change anything.

"Ya okay?"

"Mmhm hmm," she replied as she leaned back, knowing better than to watch a pot boil. "I'm fine, thanks to everyone."

It wasn't what he meant, but he knew she had understood the meaning of his words. She was avoiding giving him a real answer on purpose. "So what's this ramen thing?"

"Noodle, you'll see, it's really good!" Sometimes, it was easy for her to forget that Kouga wasn't all caught up with her modern cuisine just yet. Hopefully, it would be filling enough for a carnivore like him. Then again, ramen noodles were Inuyasha's favorite, and he was a canine too. But it was best not to think about Inuyasha right now.

"I trust you."

He didn't know what to say; he didn't know what to do. He wanted to take her, kiss her, make her forget about that idiot. But he knew there was no point in following those impulses. It wouldn't change anything. Still, it was eating him up inside. He needed to touch her. Since he was sitting next to her, he let his hand slid across the mud until he touched her fingers. It wasn't much, but he intertwined a few of them before looking in the opposite direction, making sure no eye contact could be made.

Kagome's first reflex would have been to remove her hand. She didn't want Kouga to get any ideas, but she was pretty sure they had cleared up the air about that. At least she thought they did. She knew the whole friend thing was a new concept to him, and he was more than displeased about the whole Kikyo and Inuyasha's situation. Still, he had kept a level head, and he hadn't picked a fight. He was trying, and he was growing. It led her to assume that this was his way of comforting her without talking about it and without trashing Inuyasha. Considering the alternative, this was a good option. She would let it.

"I'll be okay, Kouga."

"I know. You're Kagome. You're strong. And you don't need anyone."

She let a small chortle come out of her. She acted like it was all rolling off of her. Inuyasha would come back, she would be moody for a day, probably have him leave her alone, or maybe she'd go home to cool off and then she would come back and act like it had never happened. What else was she supposed to do? Inuyasha had never promised himself to her. He wasn't breaking a promise; he wasn't breaking her trust. She was the one holding on to something that could never be. The way he looked at Kikyo… he had never looked at her like that. He worried about her, about her safety, but this was different.

Even if Kikyo found peace one day. Would Inuyasha truly ever let go? Would he live a life without her shadow? Would anyone ever be enough to replace her? She didn't know. And at the end of the day, the answer didn't matter; she promised she would stay by his side. She couldn't break that promise. Enough people had abandoned him already, and she refused to do the same. He had done nothing wrong. It wasn't his fault he loved who he loved.

"I guess so," she whispered.

Strong and alone.

Did that describe her?

-P-

"Oh."

That was the only words she could find.

Kouga scratched the back of his head, his mouth twisted. "It's one of those, I don't know if it's best to leave you alone or come check up on you situation," he explained as he took a step forward. "Getting hit with new memories is - weird for me still, and, you looked pretty upset when you jumped through that well so…" He lifted the hand that had been by his side, revealing the Wacdonald's bag he had kept somewhat hidden. "I brought a peace offering, in case my presence was unwanted."

Kagome couldn't help but smile. She hadn't expected to run into Kouga as she walked out of the shrine. She would sit by the tree, let her sadness slip away from her before she had to return to the feudal era. But this could do.

"I'm always up for food," she said with a smile. "Wanna come in?"

He leaned to the side, trying to take a look inside.

"Grandpa, mom, and Souta are at the soccer practice, no one is home."

He didn't want her to think he didn't want to see her family, but he knew she probably wouldn't want to talk about certain things if they were there. He didn't need to have witnessed it to know that she wouldn't be the type of person who wanted to burden her family with her problems. He knew she kept a lot of it to herself, and although that wasn't a good thing, he wouldn't expect anything else coming from Kagome. Especially since he had now witnessed even more of her selflessness. The way she prioritized everyone else's feelings above her own would hurt her deeply one day. He couldn't help but want to prevent that.

Was this why he had showed up here, unannounced, uninvited? Maybe. He didn't know. But once he had that flash of her jumping into that well, he knew he had to come over.

He followed her inside, copying her actions when she sat down at the table. He took the seat next to her and plopped the bag down on the table. "Ladies first," he said as he gestured towards the bag.

She gripped the edge of the paper bag and tilted it forward, inspecting the contents. She quickly pulled out a fry and a burger and put them in front of her. "They definitively don't have this in the feudal era."

"No, they don't or I would have carried a lot more extra weight," he said as he fished out a burger for himself. "These things are addictive."

"I am never bringing any of this back with me or I will never hear the end of it," she said as she finished unwrapping her burger from its paper confinement. "Thank you for this."

"No problem, thought you might need a little pick me up…" Shit. Foot meet mouth.

A tiny ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "Yeah, I guess you got a new flashback of that, huh?"

"Little bit."

She popped her lips. "It's not - it's not that simple you know."

Kagome knew it would be impossible to talk about this with the others. They wouldn't understand. She wasn't even sure this Kouga would understand but at least, for him, it was centuries ago and he didn't hold any feelings towards her anymore. It made him a lot more neutral than Past!Kouga. Maybe… maybe he would see why she had to keep doing this? Why she kept pushing forward.

"I know." No, he didn't know. He didn't have her whole background history with Inuyasha, but he knew it couldn't be healthy for her to be doing this to herself.

"I promised him I would stay by his side. I promised I would help him. He promised nothing back in return." It wasn't fair for Inuyasha to be getting this hate when he hadn't done anything wrong. Even her, she shouldn't be this mad at him… she only wished he would try to spare her feelings a little bit. Sometimes, it felt like he was oblivious to the pain he was causing her.

Kouga put his burger down, a serious look on his face. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Somehow she had a feeling that she would not like the question, but she let him ask it, anyway.

"Why? I mean - why are you willing to give so much - and get nothing in return? I'm not - I'm not that Kouga. I don't get it is all."

Kagome picked at a sesame seed on her bun. "I was never interested in anyone… before Inuyasha." Already, the heat was rising to her cheeks. "I guess you could say he's my first crush. And I know you all see him as this rash person who doesn't care. But he's been hurt - a lot. He was abandoned too - by everyone around him. He never had anyone really take care of him. He's a bit like a stray puppy who's lived on the streets his whole life," she explained with a chortle. "He lashes out because he doesn't know any other way, but he's a good person. He loves Kikyo so much, he wants to die for her - but I think he should live. He deserves to live. And, I don't expect anything in return. I only want him to see how happy he could be… no matter who he chooses to be with or what he does. As long as he's still kicking, I'll be by his side."

Her soul, her personality. It was the first thing to charm him all those centuries ago, and that hadn't changed. Granted, she was still exactly the same person that he had met five hundred years ago… but that was what made Kagome… Kagome. Not once in her speech did she think of herself, or what it was doing to her.

"Even if it hurts you?"

"This can't hurt me as much as he's been hurt," she explained with a shrug of the shoulders. "It's a crush. I won't die over this."

"You really haven't changed."

"You mean between five minutes ago and now?" she teased.

"Got me." He leaned back into the chair, his lips pinched together. "Don't forget to take care of you though."

"Don't have to! I get special home delivery of Wacdonald's. That's all the self care I need."

She was smiling brightly at him, but it was easy to see the pain she was hiding behind it. She might dismiss it as a crush, she might say she would move on from it, but he knew that right now it hurt her. And there wasn't anything he could do to change that or make it better. And he wanted to - so badly. It was strange because this version of her didn't know this version of him - and he hadn't seen her in so long. But the new memories were making it difficult to distinguish between new life and old life, and now he felt like that young stupid idiot all over again. He knew her now even though he didn't, even though he had changed with the years.

"You deserve to be happy too," he pointed out. He didn't know her whole life, he didn't know a lot about her, actually. Although one quick glance at her house was enough to see that no matter how fast back the photos went, there wasn't a dad in any of them. She also mentioned her mom, her brother and her grandpa, but no father. She had gone through a loss, she had pulled through. She deserved a moment of joy.

"I am happy."

Somehow, he didn't doubt it. Kagome got her happiness through other people.

"All right then."

It had been a long time since someone had said something like that. Her mother had always wanted her happiness, but this was different. Every time she looked up, she felt like he was looking into her soul, and it would send a shiver down her spine. Was she trying to put on an act in front of him? It seemed pointless. He would see right through it. Then again, he didn't know her. It had been a long time for him. Sometimes, it was hard to draw the line between the two Kougas. She was hopping from one time to another, always having his presence in her life. It was new; it was different, but it wasn't a bad thing.

Now that she had been traveling with Kouga for a while, she could see how he could become this Kouga in a few centuries. He was young; he came from a different time, but the experiences would change him, there was no doubt.

"Are you really my friend," she dared to ask.

"What?"

"Past you, I mean. He's my friend now. Somehow I have a hard time believing he let it go all go. You're very stubborn."

"I am your friend. Both versions of me."

If she thought he was about to ruin whatever stupid plan, his past self had going on, she had it wrong. He didn't think it would work, and he couldn't see Kagome giving up on Inuyasha anytime soon, but that didn't mean he would interfere in the plans he had for himself. Then again, how would that even work for him - if it ever worked? Yes, he was already much older than her in the past, but in youkai years, he was still a teenager. Now, he was more of an adult while she was the same teenager. Nope. He shook his head, chasing the thoughts away from his head. He wasn't about to think about her like this. She had enough of one persistent Kouga.

"Good."

Inuyasha was her friend. Nothing would change that, nothing would replace that. No matter the feelings she had for him, or the feelings he had for someone else, he was her friend and she would always be there for him. For a long time, he was the only one to sort of understand her double life, and who could come through the well. Sure, Kouga couldn't come through the well, but, she got to have a version of him on each side, and this one, this Kouga understood her situation, he understood all of it. More than Inuyasha ever could.

"I'm glad I got to meet you in this era," she said before taking another bite of her burger.

"Me too."

He had mourned her; he had moved on from her and the centuries had gone by. Now she was back. Now he had more memories with her, more to move on from and - and it was difficult.

But he wouldn't tell her that.

"Maybe I should hurry to eat this before Inuyasha comes to drag ya back."

"He's not coming." He never did after something happened with Kikyo.

"I can't say for sure yet because it hasn't happened for you, but I'm pretty sure I'm waiting for you on the other side of that well. Would be a shame if I didn't get my beauty sleep because I was waiting for you too long."

"Beauty sleep?" she laughed.

"Being handsome comes with a price," he said with a wink.

"Maybe you haven't changed at all," she teased. Cocky Kouga - as always. Then again, she found that comforting.

If only Inuyasha was as transparent as Kouga.

It would make her life easier.

-P-