Raph had run like a lunatic followed by the Devil, not listening to the desperate cries behind him. Normally, he would have delighted seeing the doctor so pathetic, but he didn't have time to waste. For an intellectual, Donatello was running damn fast. If he was caught, Raphael should fight, so that he'd keep the cell phone. He wasn't afraid of confronting a 180-pound man, who only lifted textbooks, but Leo would be furious if his brother had his nose or his arm, or his leg or all of the above, broken by Raphael. It didn't matter whether Donnie was a hypocrite or not. Raph doesn't want to appear as brute as a caveman to Leo, by punching his nerd of a brother.

He jumped into Ma's car and sped off, leaving Donatello in the dust. The doctor had followed him, but dressed in a tuxedo and not having his keys, he had to return to the museum and fetch them from the cloak room.

The Nokia never stopped ringing and Raph ignored it. The motherfucker was even smarter than his elder brother and hated him with an incredible passion. Don was determined as hell to separate Leo from Raph from Day 1 at the hospital. A man so determined and intelligent was far too dangerous for Raph to make the slightest error. Raph didn't know what shit the doctor was capable of and he didn't want to take the chance of being tracked by the network or whatever technological shit Donatello could do with his brain as huge as Texas.

The rat, if he had the smallest opportunity to do so, would ruin his chance of having a future with Leo. No matter the price, as the doctor had said himself.

Back home and paranoid, anxious he was being followed, even though it was impossible, he woke Ma up and frantically asked for the revolver. The woman, the face smeared with cheap beauty cream and the hair in rolls, refused to give it to him, telling him that she had taken it to the police station.

Raph shook his head and said, "I don't believe ya. Anyway, my baseball bat will do the trick if the son of a bitch tries ta get in here."

Ma, upset, didn't understand what had happened to her baby, who'd seemed to be better, and now he wanted to smash skulls. She bombarded him with questions.

Raph handed her the phone and said, "Here's the proof that Leo's wife is unfaithful and that he isn't the baby's father. This means that Leo doesn't have ta stay with her. He can get a divorce and come back ta me." Ma silently stared at the phone. Raphael hadn't said his name in a couple of weeks and she'd thought that he was getting over him. She'd wanted to believe that and that if he acted well, everything was fine.

She should have known that Raph was too much in love to forget the policeman so quickly and that only this man could upset her baby to the point that he needed a gun.

She picked up the phone and then it rang again. "Don't answer, Ma," Raphael warned. "It's the doctor, Leo's brother, and the father of the bastard that Leo's wife's carryin'. The asshole does everythin' ta mess-up my relationship with Leo. He wants ta stop me from tellin' Leo the truth 'bout his wife."

"How did you get this phone?"

Raph blushed and said, "I took it from the coat pockets of the whore." Ma, hearing this, was furious and did something she hadn't done in nearly 18 years. She stood on tiptoe and slapped Raphael across his face.

"How can you speak like this about a woman and steal from her pockets after she allowed you to volunteer so that you can work again?" she asked angrily. "Not to mention that April, your sister-in-law, may have trouble and lose her job too. And you can't call the poor woman a whore when her man has deceived her so many times with you, you knew about it and encouraged him to do it. You're a home wrecker, Raphael, and I'm really ashamed of you."

Raph winced. Then, despite his anger, he bowed his head. Ma was right. April could be in trouble and she didn't deserve it. She was so sweet and the best girlfriend in the world for Casey. But Raphael had to take the risk. Did Ma not see that he was slowly dying inside? Was April's job more important than Raph's life?

His angry thoughts were interrupted when he heard Ma reply casually, "Hello". Ma, in her craziness, had answered the phone, the fireman realized, panicked. "Yes. I am Raphael's mother." While the doctor was talking, Ma was scrolling through text messages. "Why do you want to meet my son? He doesn't want anything to do with you or your Don Juan of a brother."

Raph moved towards her, but Ma flashed her teeth. Raphael thought he understood: Ma was trying to soothe doctor about his mistrust, but it wouldn't work. She was a practical woman and knew how to make red wine spots disappear on a white tablecloth, but she couldn't understand the doctor's diabolical schemes. Donnie must have known that if Raphael had searched the pockets of Leo's wife, it was because he'd had suspicious arising from observation. Why spy if he didn't care about Leo? Don knew that theft wasn't his goal, because the Nokia model was the most basic and not even worth $ 50 on the black market. The doctor knew that Raph had taken the cellphone to show it to Leo. And if he'd given himself so much trouble, it was evident that it was because Raph hoped to take Hazel's place.

Ma demanded to know everything and suddenly Raph's brain kicked in. Was he going to stay hidden in his mother's skirts, like he'd done when he was 7 and had broken the neighbor's window while playing baseball? No. He wasn't a child any longer and could defend himself.

He snatched the phone from Ma's hand and snapped, "What do ya want, rat?"

"Raphael, I need to talk to you, "Don said in a broken voice.

Raph snorted and said, "Why? Ya afraid I'll interrupt yer sex story before it becomes a love story?"

The doctor paused. He evidently remembered using the same words to emotionally destroy Raphael a few weeks earlier.

"I know I was an asshole, but I had reason to be. There are things about my brother that you don't even know, Raphael."

"I don't wanna listen ta yer damn lies," Raphael said irately. "Nothin' ya will say will stop me from lovin' him."

"Love him. I don't want to stop you if you think you really do," Don said and sighed. "Perhaps you discovering everything is for the best. Leo is unhappy and it is entirely the opposite of what I was trying to do. Hazel also isn't happy. Leo doesn't love her anymore and admitted that he was really only in love with her for a day. He married her because he thought that was what he had to do, but she wasn't the right one for him. Maybe you are. Leo obviously thinks so."

Raph said nothing, trying not to hope in vain. It was too easy. The doctor probably had an ace up his sleeve, but when Don said nothing, Raphael said, "I don't believe ya. Ya fuckin' detest me and don't want me and Leo ta be together."

"Yes. That was true, but I've changed my mind. Did Leo ever tell you about our mother's death?"

Raph briefly recounted what Leo had told him. Then, Donnie said, "Leonardo suffered trauma that day and his memory refuses to remember it. I'd like to tell you in person. What's your address? I'll take…"

Alarm bells rang in Raphael's head and he said, "No fuckin' way. Ya will stick a syringe into my neck and then throw my sorry drugged ass in the East River."

Donatello snorted derisively and said indignantly, "Are you kidding me? Do I look like a killer? Have you ever heard of the Hippocrates' oath? I swore to save lives, not the other way around! Tell your mother to take down my licence plate number. Call your brother to tell him you're coming with me and to call the cops if you're not alive tomorrow."

Raph, stubborn, refused. Leo had told him too many times about his brainiac brother.

"I don't trust ya. It's a trap."

The doctor sighed exasperatedly and said, "For God's sake, you watch too many movies! Do you want me to call Leo in a three-way conference? Will that reassure you?"

Raph licked his suddenly dry lips and said, "Yeah." Hearing Leo's voice would make him walk on hot coals.

"I can't promise that he'll answer. Give me a minute."

Raph heard the tone, then Leo's sullen voice. "What's the matter again, Donnie?"

"Hi, Leo. I'm on the phone with your lover. Say hello, Raphael."

"Hello, Leo," Raphael stammered.

"What the …? What happened?" Leo exclaimed, dumbfounded.

Just as sullenly, but also a bit nervously, Don said, "I wanted to take him to your house, Leo, but he didn't trust me. You have to tell him to do so. He'll only listen to you."

Leonardo sounded stunned. "Well, Raph. You can trust my brother, but where's Hazel? Last time I saw her, she…"

"I don't know," Don said anxiously. "If she didn't follow nor stay with you, she's probably still there. Your boyfriend stole her cell phone from the museum's cloakroom. I'll keep Hazel at my place and you'll have the whole night for make-up sex if you want. Just tell your stubborn boyfriend to trust me."

"Raph, why did you steal Hazel's phone?" Leo asked.

Don cut in sharply and said, "No time. I don't want to leave Hazel, pregnant and alone in a crowd. I'll take your lover home and he'll explain."

And then Raph understood why the doctor was so insistent to get him. Don threw him under the bus. He was afraid of his older brother's reaction and preferred Leo to hear the news from his lover's mouth. Raphael was, in a way, an offering of peace, in the family quarrel.

But Raphael was still unconvinced. It could be a recording of Leo's voice. He said, "I won't come and I won't say anythin' if I'm not positive that's Leo's voice on the line."

Leo, a little annoyed, said, "Raph, you recognize my voice, right? Don't be childish."

"Nah. I've seen enough movies. Yer brother may have made recordings. Prove it's ya, Leo."

Don sighed in exasperation and Leo said irately, "You have a scratch on your lower back." Raph was convinced. It was really Leo, so possessive and still incensed at the idea of Raph having a new lover. He was so jealous that he couldn't think of anything else as proof that it was really him.

"Okay," Raphael said. "I believe ya."

Don then hung up on Leo without him being able to say a word. Then he said, "Raphael, I don't have time to fetch you and take you to Leo, but I want to keep talking to you." Raph was surprised, but he listened. "Leo and I were with our mother when she died. She was killed in front of us. Leo never told you about that, right?" Raph said nothing. How could Leo not have talked about such an important event? Donatello continued in a low, hoarse voice, "We were home from our karate classes. I was average, but Leo was extremely good, even for a twelve-year-old. I think he had a brown belt."

Don paused briefly. Then he said, "He was good, but against three Purple Dragons, Leo couldn't do anything. They wanted my mother's money. She only had ten Dollars on her. Even in 1978, ten Dollars wasn't enough. They wanted to rape her. She was a real beauty and had the same hair and the same ballerina figure that Hazel has, but had blue-gray eyes, like my brother. Leo bravely stepped forward. He was so fearless and me? I'd just pissed in my pants and was crying. So, they chose to rape Leo instead, because he was a pretty boy with a pretty mouth and they said it would be more fun and he'd be even tighter. There were two raping him. The Purple Dragons are an Asian gang, but the two men were black. They were so muscular in comparison of Leo young body.""

Stunned and horrified at the images his mind was conjuring up, Raphael wanted to hang up, but Don wasn't finished, despite clearly feeling the pain that his memories had awoken. Don continued, "The other man had his gun at my mother's head, so that she could watch her son fucked by two men. Leo was silent. I'm not sure if I yelled or begged for real or if I imagined it. When the other guy saw his friends having so much pleasure, he was horny too and wanted me. I bit him and he shot a bullet through my mother's head."

Raph heard Don sob, but he remained speechless, not even daring to breathe, too shocked. No wonder that Leo preferred to be on top and dominate their love making.

"The others released Leo and we heard the police sirens. I think Leo had fainted for a while, thank goodness, because they struck his head on the concrete. Leo didn't remember anything when he was in the hospital, except that ten Dollars had been taken from the purse. My father said not to talk about it ever for Leo's sake. He demanded that we train hard for our future protection. Leonardo still overdoes it. Are you there?"

Don asked tearfully. A strangled sound escaped Raph's throat and Don said, "So, you understand? Leo sacrificed himself, but I didn't want to and my mother died. After that, even though he pretended that he didn't remember, Leo became very withdrawn. He didn't try to have a sex life or a love one. He didn't even wish to be accompanied to the prom, but all the girls wanted him as a boyfriend. I tried to introduce him to girls, but he chose Usagi over them. I believed his homosexual choice was a sequel to the trauma that ended our childhood. All the psychiatrists will tell you that this period is very important in the development of the personality."

Raph was going to tell him to come to the heart of the matter. He was standing by Betty and he wanted to know the rest before he saw Leo and he badly wanted to see him now, so that he could worship him and heal his wounded soul and body and try to make up for all he'd endured. "I tried," Don continued. "I tried extremely hard to convince Leo that Usagi wasn't the right person for him. Anyway, he wasn't and after the breakup, Leo was depressed. Meanwhile, I had met a girl. I fell in love with her. She reminded me of my mother and I thought I didn't deserve her. She was so pretty, sweet and… Anyway, she saw me as just a friend. I had deprived Leonardo of a mother. I was going to give him Hazel. As I had predicted, Hazel fell under my beautiful, mysterious and dark brother's spell. He is much more handsome than me. Since then, I have worked for their happiness, because Leo, such a hero, deserves so much more. Then, when I saw you and how Leo looked at you, I thought Leo was experiencing a second trauma, as a consequence of his first, by wanting to seduce a muscular black man like his rapists. But, you know, assumptions, hypotheses, science, can sometimes be wrong. Maybe Leo prefers men. I don't know, but I know he loves you and is very unhappy without you. Maybe I am the one who needs therapy. Not Leo. I tried to advise Hazel, suggesting sexy tricks to keep Leo, but I think that only made them both unhappy. He doesn't love her. He loves you." Raph didn't know what to say. The revelations were so appalling that he was speechless. "Go and see my brother, stupid. Keep the phone and tell him everything, I'll take care of Hazel."

Raph mumbled, "Thank ya" and started his bike.

As he rode, all he thought about was what Donnie had told him. If he could find the motherfucker scumbag that had hurt his Leo, he thought in rage, he'd break his fuckin' neck. Don's reaction made sense, but the skin color had nothing to do with the rape. The doctor was right. Donatello was the one, who was traumatized by homosexual sex and black men and not Leo. His lover had always seemed comfortable sexually and had never acted like a victim.

Arriving at Leo's place, Raphael climbed off of his bike and nervously knocked on Leo's wooden door for the first official time.

Leo, dressed only in dark gray jogging pants, opened the door and said crossly, "Why are you here and not in bed with your new sex buddy?"

Raph noticed that Leo was more jealous of him than worried about his missing pregnant wife. It warmed his heart, stupid as it was. "Ya dumbass. I don't have no sex buddy. I have an annoyin' kitten, who likes ta mark me like ya do. By the way, I hope yer not allergic. Cherry is demandin' as hell, but I love her."

"A kitten?" Leo asked incredulously. "I was jealous of a kitten?"

Raph laughed and said, "I've already told ya that yer jealousy issues were somethin'."

Leo still seemed kind of shocked and he suddenly bowed his head. When he raised it, he seemed sulky at Raph's confusion. With disdain, the deputy inspector said, "I didn't cum on your bed to mark my territory. And I can assure you that I won't piss on anything that belongs to your cat."

Raphael changed the subject, feeling uncomfortable. "Can I come in?"

Leo let him inside, his expression neutral before he quickly turned his back. Raph looked around. The living room with Leo in it was much warmer than in his memories and more masculine without Hazel's presence. If he played his cards right, Hazel would no longer sit on the leather couch. He would.

"I don't know what Donatello and you are preparing, Raph. I thought you loathed each other," Leo said, bending down to light a fire in the fireplace. Raph watched him, part of his mind thinking that he'd always wanted to make love in front of a lit fireplace, like a romantic chick does. The other part wondered how he'd tell Leo that his brother had deceived him and he'd never be a father. Tact, delicacy and subtlety weren't his forte.

"I was there tonight and heard yer speech. It was fantastic. Is it me that ya regret?"

"Yes. I miss you, but you know we can't be together now. Maybe I can leave Hazel in five or six years when it's easier to raise a child alone, but it would be too late for you. "Leo's voice was dark, but his face was expressionless. Leo didn't look at him and Raphael almost dreaded the blank expression.

Even though he was extremely nervous, Raph vowed to get it over with. He told himself that Don was a coward, but he could understand the doctor's fear. Leo was weird as hell. Raphael took a deep breath and said, "It's Don's baby. He slept with yer wife, so that ya could have a child. I suspected it and needed evidence, so I looked for it and found it. Ya can look at it."

Leo looked at the flames and all he said was, "Oh."

The cheated husband was taking it too damn well, so to ensure that Leo fully understood, Raphael repeated himself and said, "Yer not obligated ta her anymore. Ya don't have ta stay with her." Raph waited for Leo's reaction. He wouldn't reject him anymore, would he? Leo would take him back at his side, right?

An agonized Raphael waited in suspense for a while. Then, Leo said, "So, what do you want? To tell me I told you so?"

Raphael stared at him in incredulity. "What are ya talkin' 'bout, doofus? I'm not such an asshole. It' not yer…Ya can dump her. Yer free."

Leo casually moved the logs with the poker "What would I do with my freedom?"? he wonders, rhetorically. "Maybe I'll accept Karai's sexual proposition. She's wanted me for many years."

Raph's face darkened in rage. He hadn't expected Leo to say that and he wasn't sure if Leo was serious or joking. "What the fuck? Ya said ya loved me, ya jerk! Don't fuck up my life and break my heart again by messin' with another bitch."

"You told me you didn't respect or love me anymore," Leo said sternly, staring at the fire.

Raph felt like something was crushing his chest. Yeah. He had said that, but Leo had to know how extreme he could be when he was pissed off and that he hadn't meant it.

"Fuck ya! Ya know I was pretendin'. Ya made me fall so deeply in love that I could never forget ya in just a couple of weeks."

Leo was silent for a moment. Then he said menacingly, "I didn't forget our last night, when high on cocaine, you had my gun pointed at your head."

Embarrassed, Raphael said, "I saw a therapist and don't take drugs anymore, but if ya want me ta, I'll go ta rehab. I'm ready for it. I saw the doctor at work and can return there after 60 hours of volunteer work and with a good reference."

Leo was still looking at the fire with interest and curiosity. Maybe Raph wasn't as interesting as the flames. Raphael almost felt embarrassed at all he'd said, like it wasn't enough, but at the same time, he wanted Leo to understand that he was ready to change. At least enough to make it work between them. Then, because Leo didn't answer, Raphael added, "But, uh, I don't know if yer ex-wife will wanna write a good reference for me. Maybe I should do my 60 hours elsewhere."

He then waited for his lover to answer, anxious to see if he'd be positive about Raph's decision and his efforts.

After a few seconds, Leo burst out laughing and said, "Don't worry. She'll do that for you, but she's not my ex-wife yet."

Raph anxiously asked, "What do ya mean? She cheated on ya. She tried ta make ya the father of her kid in order ta keep ya against yer will! Ya can't stay with her!"

Leo shrugged and said, "It all depends on several things. I will definitely divorce her, but I first want her to admit what she did. I may not be in love with her, but I appreciate her enough to want her to be well. And I should talk to my brother too."

Raph felt incredibly tense. Leonardo seemed unconcerned. And it didn't answer the most important question. What about them? Would Leo go for Karai? Would he want to erase Raph from his life, so that he could get over all of the sad memories? But why in the hell, Leo the most possessive bastard on Earth, was so relaxed about Don sleeping with his wife? Raph, during the tattoo, had been surprised that Leo didn't insist on having his name inked across Raphael's chest. Leo was a crazy enough son of a bitch to be in the branding thing. If he didn't know any better, Raph would say that Leo must have smoked weed to be so unusually blasé and chilled about it all.

"For a motherfucker jealous guy, yer very chilled 'bout things. Shit! Yer bro fucked yer wife! Most guys would be fuckin' pissed! Where this fucking possessive temper of yers? Ya almost smashed my damn face over a damn scratch on my back by a kitten. And why don't ya fuckin' look at me?" he snapped, indignantly.

"Well, I was mad at the scratch, because, you, I really love you and because, I already knew it," Leo replied and smirked "I didn't want you to read the truth in my eyes. You know me too well, honey."

Raph was stunned. Then, angry. This fucker KNEW IT!

"What the fuck? Ya knew it? And ya did nothin'. Why didn't ya tell me and come ta me? That changes everythin', right? " Raph yelled, half-angry and half-anxious.

"Indeed. It changes everything. If you still love and want me," Leo said quietly.

"Ya know I do. Fuck! Why didn't ya tell me yesterday? I'd have preferred ta have been pinned ta yer mattress instead of the ring mat and if ya had told me, I wouldn't have been spiteful."

Leo stretched, relaxed, and explained, "I only learned it two hours ago. You know my speech? Hazel asked me what I was sorry about and I confessed to her. I told her that you'd been my lover since September and that out of cowardice I'd lost you. I also said that if I'd confessed before, she wouldn't be pregnant by a man, who didn't love her and that I'd be with you. She replied that she was pregnant by a man, who loved her. My brother. I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she said yes. She came back here with me, took two suitcases and went back to the museum to join Don. I am relieved by this news more than you can believe. Without you, life was already painful, but pretending to be happy every day, for a child's sake, was a terrible burden. But, despite my relief, I thought you didn't love me anymore and had a new wild lover. "

Raph was stupefied. "Don't be foolish… there is no wild crazy lover at yer level, babe..." he replied, uncertain to understand what Leo wanted. He can give him a petname. Leo just did it, so… "But ya said that ya had ta talk ta her and yer brother before makin' a decision after I'd told ya I love ya and that it had only been a cat. And what 'bout the witch at yer job?" Raph asked, upset and confused. "Ya want her, now?"

"It was just a joke, I don't want anything to do with her. Next thigh I know, I would wear a collar and a leash." Leo said and chuckled.

Raph frowned. "What kinda bad joke is that? Are ya drunk? Or high?"

Leo smiled, like the Cheshire Cat, flashed his teeth, and pointed with his chin to an empty liquor glass. "Maybe a little drunk, Raph, but I wanted to know how much you love me. And most importantly, I need you to pay me back for the last incident. Undress now and come closer.""

Leo turned toward him and Raph, seeing the hunger and the lust in his eyes shivered in excitement. It had only been one of Leo's mind-games, their kind of foreplay that they had before incredibly violent sex. Leo played the cool guy, because he wanted a needy and compliant Raph. Raphael didn't mind. He was in the same horny mood now and he missed his lover so much. He snatched his black t-shirt, never leaving Leo lustful gaze. But despite his predatory expression, Leo had something new shinning in his blue-steel eyes. Something Raphael had never seen before.

Happiness.

"I want to make love to you for the first time with a clear conscience, Raph," Leo whispered. "I want to be able to express my feelings with words and gestures that I won't feel guilty about experiencing. I want to make you feel good and make up for all your past suffering. I want to take my time worshipping your body and love you as you deserve to be loved."

Raphael knew that he looked ridiculous, crying tears of joy and his hands trembling,, as he detached his belt, but those words were the ones he hadn't dared to hope for in months.

"I will make it up to you over and over all night long until you have no strength but to entreat me to love you less," Leo assured seductively. "You wanted to see my house? I'll show you every room from all angles. And then, too bad for the snow, I'll show you the backyard." the policeman assured, seductively. Leo had released his cock from his jog pant, pumping it with sensual stokes, since maybe a while. Raph was too busy to listen to the words and drown in these blue eyes, to noticed it, before. It was now full erect, the precum flowing, shining in the light of the flames. Raph mouth became dry from expectations.

Raphael's heart beat so fast, he thought that he'd leave his body and fly towards the sky, as his arousal grew. He was now completely naked.

"And then," Leo continued. "If you're a good boy and take all my burning love without too much complaint, I'll go and ask your family for forgiveness and take in here all your belonging, and tomorrow you'll come with me to my office party. I need a human shield against Karai's attempts. And then, if you're still nice, I'll introduce you to my father. " As Leo spoke, Raphael's eyes lit up like the flames of the fireplace and he and he kneeled next to Leo, fascinated. It was better than what he'd dared to expect in the first place! But, he still felt like he needed another confirmation:

"So... Me and ya?"

"Yes," Leo said and smirked. "You and I. Us."

"So, what about the child? What about having kids? With me, you would have any of it." the black man asked, still a bit worried.

"I shall be a suitable uncle. Nothing more nor less. I don't care whether I'm a father or not. This isn't the most enviable title in my eyes ...I prefer to be your lover. I think I realized that I don't need it to be happy... I don't need to be married and to have a pretty wife baking pies, to be happy. All I really need is true love, and true love is not about a wedding or children. It's about you. All I need is you." Leo conclude in a lovingly whisper.

Raph couldn't say anything. He grinned, feeling happier than he'd ever been.

"I will also explain to your kitten that only I can scratch you and I don't share. She pisses on my uniform and she's out. Understood?" Leo decided in his Batman voice that turned Raph on so much.

"Yeah," Raph answered, shivering, so excited, while Leo used his artificial hand to pull his hair and pull him close. Leo kissed him fiercely in the hollow of his neck. "We'll be good," Raph promised, meaning it with all the sincerity he had.

Raphael didn't know if Leo's dominant attitude was due to his childhood trauma and he had an unconscious response to it, but he didn't give a damn. He enjoyed it too much. "Come on Fearless. Shut the fuck up and avenge yourself!"

Leo eagerly threw himself at him and in-between a tender kiss and a hard bite, Raphael knew that 9/11 was finally behind them.

Fin

thanks to those who have stuck with me in this fic. Thanks to kerryAnne and Lolita for Beta. ITS NOW BEHIND ME!