Disclaimer: all names and events in this story are fictional & I do not own the characters from Yuri on ice.

Chapter 1: Murphy's Law

Those in the medical field knew, July was the worst possible month to be sick and admitted to the hospital. The new doctors start their residency training this month.

Yuuri's brand new stiff white coat still fell past his knees, it felt too long. Two weeks ago he was still a student in a short white coat. He transformed from a shy medical student named Yuuri to Dr. Katsuki overnight.

For the first time he introduced himself as a doctor. For the first time instead of the sympathetic learner handing the patient the tissue box, he had to break the news that his patient in her forties had cancer.

In all honesty, he felt like an imposter in a doctor's costume.

He saw the unit clerk snickering as he frantically pressed the buttons hoping to make the beeping of his pager go away but it only grew louder.

The soul piercing beeping started again.

He had been running all morning, rounding on patients, writing notes. Rounding meant waking the patients at five am, apologizing and to examine them while they were still groggy. The progress notes had to be complete before the attending physician, the full fledged doctor (and boss) showed up at nine am.

Still tired from his anxiety and not being able to sleep the night before and jittery from the caffeine, he scrambled to find the nearest phone.

Yuuri bit his lips, it tasted like coffee. His white coat was also impregnated with its intoxicating aroma. In fact, every time he took a piss, it also smelled like coffee. His fingers were clammy, leaving wet prints on the black handle of the phone, he dialed the nurse's number. Suddenly he wondered if he wore enough deodorant this morning.

"This is Yuri from team D," he pulled out his patient list from his pocket.

"Patient in room 501 is unresponsive," said the unsettled voice on the other side, "we called a rapid response."

"On my way," Shit, Yuri silently swore and rummaged through his notes about that patient. Heart failure, came in with chest pain, anemic, diabetic who took his insulin half of the time. A 'rapid response' is when a patient on the edge of deteriorating, a team of predesignated doctors would be called upon to evaluate and stabilize the patient. His pace sped up. On his way there he dialed Victor's phone number. Victor was two years his senior and in his final year of residency training before becoming a full fledged doctor.

Victor didn't pick up for some reason.

Slowly everything he learned from medical school flew straight out of the window. He dialed Victor's number again, as he closed his eyes and imagined the worst. The algorithm of running a code flashed before his mind. A code is called when there is no pulse. Pulseless cardiac arrest, shock not indicated...compression, epinephrine, compression, epinephrine...I hope this would not turn into a code...

He took a deep breath, felt heat rushing towards his face and the adrenaline sharpened his senses as he stumbled into the chaos. Victor, where are you.

Two nurses were already switching places and compressing the patient's chest which was shaved with the razor from the code cart to allow the defibrillator pads to stick. The patient's arm flailed with the rhythm of compressions as his chest recoiled. Littered on the ground, wrappers from the IV kit and bloodied gauze. The patient's wife's face was pale as ghost. She pressed her back against the sterile white wall with her palm covering her mouth.

All eyes were on him as the first doctor on the scene. His heart sank as this was no longer a rapid response but a full blown code blue. His eyes met one of the nurses he knew, Chris, who pressed his lips together and nodded.

Yuuri was taken aback for a split second as if standing in the eye of the storm in response to Chris's look that said: I believe in you. His heart was jammed into his throat, with hot blood pulsating in his ears, "let's give the epi." He estimated two minutes of chest compressions had passed.

"Pushing the epi," with a swift motion Chris echoed closing the loop of communication.

"Pulse check," Yuuri refused to allow his voice to crack before the patient's family. The algorithm now crystallized before his eyes of the next step. He watched the heart monitor.

"No pulse," Chris methodically switched places with Sara, in her teal scrubs with beads of perspiration on her forehead.

Still nothing.

The patient's wife let out a wail, the nurse manager placed one hand on her shoulder and softly asked if she wanted to be somewhere else. She shook her head, "we...don't have any children, he is...all that I have."

Victor, where are you. One more round of compression without response. Yuuri stared at the flat green line on the cardiac monitor and sighed, "one more epi." He wiped the cold sweat from his face. He clutched his phone with his hand until his fingertips turned white. Victor...

Then he heard footsteps behind him, his heart leapt and skipped a beat. Victor stepped next to him, his eyes unfazed. Yuuri wasn't sure if the adrenaline rush was making his sense of smell sharper. Victor's scent felt familiar, like the pine forest after the rain. A rush of relief washed over him.

"How many rounds?" Victor's voice calm like the surface of a serene lake untouched by the breeze.

"Three so far," Yuuri's dark brown eyes met his aquamarine orbs, "you want to take over?" Then he turned to face the team, "one more epi." His voice stronger this time. He knew if he fell or stumbled, Victor would be there. Victor had that kind of effect on people.

Victor studied the heart rhythm monitor monitor, "carry on, I am right here."

Somehow part of Yuuri's fear melted away. He felt the warmth from his tall confident senior resident next to him. He lost track of time as the intensive care unit team of doctors trailed by medical students and residents filled the room, as the anesthesia attending and respiratory therapist joined them.

Five...ten...fifteen rounds of CPR later, Chris's back was drenched in sweat. His muscles straining through the sleeve of his scrubs.

"We have a pulse!" Sara exclaimed, as she wiped her face, her dark violet eyes glistening. She was fresh out of nursing school and this was the first real cardiac arrest she had been a part of. She lifted her fingers from the patient's carotids.

"Let's initiate the ROSC protocol..." Yuuri's lips were dry. Victor didn't move a single inch from the place close to him. Finally Yuuri could no longer hear his own heart pounding. Learning the medical terms was similar to a foreign language. Doctors spat out abbreviations left and right. ROSC stands for Return of Spontaneous Circulation.

"Good work, Dr. Katsuki," Victor uncrossed his arms, he flashed a small smile.

Yuuri sighed, blushed and scratched his head as he suddenly became more aware of Victor once again, "it was all...thanks to you." He whispered. He kicked himself inside, I can't believe I just said something so stupid.

He watched the patient being wheeled out of the room with multiple lines, monitors attached from him and the breathing machine humming and blowing with an artificial rhythm. His fatigue caught up with him, he stared at his watch. It was only 8:53 am.

"You alright? Do you need a minute?" Victor reached out and touched his shoulder.

Yuuri almost jumped from the warmth of his hand. His face again burning because the one person who inspired him to become a doctor in the first place was stood one foot away from him and concerned about his well being. "Yea, I think I am...let's go to rounds." Warmth spread from the pit of his stomach to the rest of his body.

"I'll grab water for you," Victor turned around as his white coat made a soft snapping sound, it was crisp and clean, without pen marks or shades of coffee.

"Thanks," Yuuri mumbled. He touched his own burning cheeks with his cold hands.

2:25 pm, his stomach growled, the cafeteria was near nearly empty as the workers wearing hairnets started to stow away the soup.

The woman at the deli counter glared at Yuuri apologized as he made his order five minutes before the end of her shift. He grabbed a bag of chips along the way, and an energy drink then swiped his ID at the counter. At least the hospital chipped in for some meals.

He found his friend Phichit glancing out of the window of the hospital sitting by himself on the tall table on the almost empty cafeteria. Phichit had dark circles under his eyes. Like Yuuri, he was also an intern starting his first week.

"Yuuri," his old friend's face lit up as he waved, "you look terrible." Phichit was also another intern. They knew each other since they were six years old. They first met in art class while drawing what they want to be when they grow up. Yuuri drew an astronaut while Phichit scribbled himself in a white coat with stethoscope around his neck.

"You do too," Yuuri climbed onto the high chair.

"How's your morning," Phichit sipped his soda.

"My patient coded," Yuuri realized how hungry he was after he sank his teeth into his sandwich and took the first bite. He still felt dazed from the aftermath of the adrenaline rush.

"Damn, are you alright?" Phichit knew his friend well enough to know that Yuuri wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Yuuri shrugged.

Phichit took out his phone, and scrolled through Instagram, "I heard Victor doesn't wear his wedding band anymore, and did you know he has sole custody of his kid?"

Yuuri almost chocked for a second, "what?" His friend is the first to know all kinds of gossip, while Yuuri was the last. Even though he was the one who admired Victor from a distance since the beginning, Phichit seemed to know more about Victor's life.

Rumors had been stirring amongst residents when Victor transferred here three months ago from the hospital Phichit refused to say the name of. That hospital was one of the top academic centers in the world and the place Phichit dreamt of training in for residency. Knowledge came naturally for him, Phichit had honors throughout college, and he was the top 1% in medical school. Yet to Yuuri's envy, his friend partied and spent the least amount of time studying. Even Phichit couldn't make it into residency in the hospital where Victor trained from. He was still bitter about it.

Yuuri couldn't help but wonder the reason Victor abandoned the prestige of his past to be transferred to this small hospital in the suburbs.

Yuuri's heart raced, I can't imagine what he must have gone through, residency itself was...well...residency, on top of that raising a baby on his own. He noticed since the beginning Victor's smile never reached his eyes. His voice gentle yet confident. He was everything Yuuri aspired to be. He wondered if Victor had friends, family that could help. That must be the reason Victor never showed up to drinks with their colleagues despite Phichit inviting him time and time again.

Then Yuuri's pager rang and he packed up his half eaten sandwich and said goodbye to his old friend.

The afternoon was as chaotic as the morning, in a different way.

Yuuri's pager won't be quiet.

"Patient is angry that his discharge papers are not ready yet." The nurse sounded annoyed.

"Please her I am working on it right now," Yuuri typed as he held the phone between his shoulder and his cheek, "thanks so much-" The nurse slammed the phone on the other end before he finished.

Yuuri immediately dialed the phone number for the next nurse who paged, "patient says he can't afford the four tabs of antibiotics you sent to the pharmacy treating his pneumonia."

"Ok, I'll speak with social work and keep you posted, thanks," He silenced the phone and opened the "intern survival guide" bounded by plastic coil, distributed by his program to find the social worker's phone number. Can't afford antibiotics but can afford cigarettes...who am I to judge. He sighed and dialed for the social worker.

He was paged again because another patient wanted to speak with a doctor, but when he showed up in the patient's room he was thrown out because the patient 'won't talk to an intern'. He sighed and called Victor, who told him that he would take care of it.

Yuuri punched in the three digit code of the call room for his team and sank into the couch, he needed a moment. He was grateful the call room couch is a hideous shade of dark brown, at least it would hide the coffee stains. He took off his glasses to clean the fingerprints smears with the edge of his white coat as Victor walked in.

Yuuri jumped as he jammed his glasses back on. His heart pounding. Please please do not recognize me...heat rushed towards his face. He pushed the image of that night Phichit teased him mercilessly for out of his mind with desperation. That night when Victor drove him home. That night he didn't remember.

"Sorry, for startling you," Victor glanced at him with his usual smile that was always tinted with a subtle hint of sadness.

"It's-...alright," Yuuri pushed his blue rimmed glasses higher onto the bridge of the nose. He reached towards his bag and pulled out an energy drink. He gulped it down and wiped his lip. From the corner of his eyes he saw Victor sitting on the call room bed and scrolling through his laptop for patient's labs.

"You okay?" Victor paused and gazed at him through his silver locks parted to the side.

"Yea, getting back to work." Yuuri pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper containing the patient list and logged onto the call room computer. The page is covered with his messy scrawl with checkboxes next to them.

Discharge summary, check.

Social work for waiving the antibiotic fee, check.

Ordering labs for the next morning, check.

They worked side by side in silence, until six pm approached, the sun still high in the sky.

"You ready to sign out?" Victor closed his laptop. He was meticulous, his job as senior resident was to check over the interns' work.

Yuuri nodded as they headed to the nursing station to meet the night team. Yuuri had a pounding headache from caffeine withdrawal. The energy drink didn't touch him.

They discussed every patient and the to do list for the night team and headed back to the call room without speaking. The fatigue was finally catching up with him. He still hasn't had a chance to decompress from everything that happened in the morning where he was the first person on the scene when the patient's heart stopped beating. He wondered how the patient was doing now in the intensive care unit. He wondered if there was anything he could have done differently. He wondered if yesterday he missed something leading up to this.

He yawned, his entire body heavy. He wanted nothin more than a hot shower and his bed.

"Sometimes in medicine we could never know, if we did things the right, Yuuri," Victor read his mind, "you did a good job today."

"Thanks," Yuuri's dark eyes met Victor's aquamarine orbs for the very first time. He felt the rush of emotions overflowing all at once. The anxiety of wearing the long white coat yet not knowing what he was doing. The fear of harming patients because of his lack of experience. The guilt and shame of feeling inadequate compared his peers like Phichit.

Yuri had always been polite, apologetic, it was not in his nature to talk back or swear out loud. Victor saw right through him, he closed the call room door, "it's alright Yuri, let it out."

Yuuri took a deep breath, his face reddened facing the man he aspired to be. He was too tired to give a shit whether he looked frazzled of wore enough deodorant. All of his fear, fatigue, anxiety, that slowly built up crystallized into a single word.

"Fuck."

He threw his pager across the room onto the room bed, restraining himself the last second before it flew out of his hand in fear of breaking it and paying fifty dollars he didn't have. The pager bounced from the pillow.

"There you go," this time Victor's smile reached his eyes. Yuuri noticed the tiny wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. Victor clutched his stomach as he couldn't control his laughter, which was infectious as Yuuri joined him. Neither of them knew why this situation was funny, but it was.

Somehow Yuuri felt lighter.

He didn't know, this was the first time Victor laughed in days.

Victor pushed open the door of his one bedroom apartment, Mila grinned as she greeted him. She was an aspiring writer who escaped to this quiet city by the ocean to work on her manuscripts. In the meantime she picked up part time jobs to make ends meet. Victor hired her to watch over his six month old son during the day. He liked her because she didn't ask questions.

"Shh, he's asleep," Mila gathered her dark blue purse.

Victor nodded, "okay." He whispered, "thanks for your help."

"See you tomorrow," Mila zipped the sides of her black boots up to her ankles. She wore a form fitting blue dress the same colour as her eyes.

Victor locked the door behind her. The hollowness inside him crept in. He walked towards his bedroom, where his son slept peacefully. He was the one reason Victor had to keep on going.

He headed towards the kitchen and opened his cabinets and removed his pillbox. Nobody around could tell that he took multiple antidepressants, because he found it easier to hide behind the calm mask and the fake smile. Victor poured a glass of water as he swallowed his evening dose.

He looked forward to falling asleep and dreaded waking up in the morning. Before he could help it, tears poured out of his eyes onto the ground and his bare feet.

Victor sat on the ground of his kitchen floor and buried his face in his hands.

Author's notes:

Thank you for reading! I didn't think I would ever write a slice-of-life kind of story, but here you go. This is a special one to me.

An explanation for those of you not familiar with the medical world.

Residency is the stage after medical school but before someone is a full fledged doctor. Residents do introduce themselves as doctors. Intern is another name for first year residents (aka bottom of the totem pole). Yuuri and Victor are training in the specialty of internal medicine. Victor is in his final year of residency while Yuuri is an intern. After completion of residency, the doctor is referred to as an attending. Attendings can practice independently.

Let me know your thoughts!

-A