Warning for Suicidal thoughts and themes

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach

Terror had never seemed like a scary word before.

She knew what it meant but it didn't ever have any real meaning before. Because she'd never experienced anything to compare it to. She'd never felt terror before, and she liked it that way.

She felt it now though.

Her breathing was harsh and quick as she ran in the dark forest. Her mind blank as her eyes desperately searched for an escape. She hadn't been running for long, 10-15 minutes at the most, she'd spent less time eating breakfast most days.

"AARRRRHHH!" The roar was so close and loud she almost stumbled, but caught her footing in the last second and kept going. She was so tired that if she fell down now then she wasn't going to get up.

Dying had been a shock. Hanging around to watch her friends and family cry and morn had been a slow pain that ached in her heart. Sitting in a forest, waiting to pass on to the next life, had been a good way to kill time and come to terms with what had happened.

Seeing a giant monster come out of a hole in the sky had frozen her solid with fear. But she'd always been quick on her feet in a panic, and even as the monster saw her she'd fled like Hell was on her heels.

It sort of was.

"AH!" The cry was as involuntary as the fall she'd just taken had been. Sobs wracked her body, and even as she scrabbled to get up she knew it was to late. The sounds around her seemed to fade out, her own gasps, the sad clinking of the chain in her chest, the crunch of grass under her, the only thing she heard was the steady thud, thud, THUD behind her.

"Ooooh~ I love it when they cry. Such a sweet little thing~" A strange voice purred just over her, sending shutters down her spine. Something closed around her waist, a clawed hand, and she was lifted off the ground screaming and crying and Oh no no noSTOPnopleasenono.

"Hehehe, such a pretty thing~. Oh I do love little girls, such good criers. But we'd better not linger little thing. I can smell a Shinigami from here." The words might as well have been in a foreign language for all that she could understand in her panicked thrashes. She felt like throwing up, but having not eaten since her death removed that possibility. The monster ignored her and raised its unoccupied hand and swung down as if to rip the air itself.

And to her horror the air did seems to rip, and a black hole, as hopeless and vile as any of her nightmares, opened up.

A breeze of cold air rushed out, ruffling her hair and freezing her tear soaked face, as the monster walked towards it. She whimpered softly as they passed through and she knew it was over, that she couldn't escape.

"Done crying little thing? Ahhh~ that's a shame. But don't worry, I'll eat you once we cross over to the other side. Don't want to get distracted in a Garganta." Chirped out the monster as it bared it's teeth in a mockery of a grin.

She stilled in it's grip as it's words finally penetrated her brain. Eat her. This-This THING was going to Eat HER! Her eyes flashed to it's face and she actually studied it for the first time.

A thin, giant brown body with a pure white mask, it's eyes were black except for small red pupils. She had no idea what it was, but she could believe without a doubt that an abomination like this ate humans.

She had to get away. She had to right now before they got to "the other side" and she died again, in a much more painful fashion.

Her focus was on it's eyes, they were locked on where they were going and the only vulnerable part of it's body she could see. With a scream of desperation she punched out and managed to hit it's eye.

"AHHRRG! You Little Rat!" it bellowed, but that didn't matter now. It had dropped her in it's pain and now she was falling.

Falling in blackness that was difficult to breathe in it was so thick. Falling in cold as the wind whipped her short hair in her eyes. She looked up and far above she could just make out the blue glow of the path the monster was on. Soon it was gone as well, and she was truly alone, falling in the dark with no one to hear her scream.

-0-

Falling lost it's novelty after she was to tired to care. When she had finally passed out from exhaustion her sleep was restless and full of nightmares. She thrashed in her sleep and screamed herself awake. She panicked the first time she woke up only to see black. And the second time, and the fifth. She cried more then she had in years, and even that lost it's appeal as nothing changed in the dark.

No not the dark, she could see herself just fine, it was just empty not dark. Empty. Alone, forever and ever and I'm gonna die here NOI'mgonnaLivehere Please NoletMedie!

She had no way to tell how much time passed as she fell.

At least that's what she had thought, but she was proven wrong when she felt a stab of pain in her chest. Then she watched in horror and confusion as the link on the end of her chain snapped off and turned to dust. She had eight links left.

The pain faded leaving her with a dull ache and unanswered questions.

-0-

Sometimes she saw stars. They appeared one at a time, blinked and flickered above her, below her, and next to her before going out.

And maybe if she was naïve then they would have comforted her, but she wasn't and she remembered the blue glow of the path The Monster had walked on all to well. She could only feel pity as she stared at the far off lights. Whether it was for the victims or for herself was a mystery as both were pitiful creatures in her eyes.

She shuddered and curled into herself as another link was lost.

Five left.

-0-

Even with so much time to think she couldn't decide if she wanted the chain to leave quicker or slower. She hated the pain, but she also hated the blank daze the pain awoke her from. She feared the hole she could see behind the disk that seemed to be part of her chest, but any change seemed better then The Black that was surely driving her mad.

She had to be mad if she regretted not being eaten this fiercely. No sane person said to themselves "If only I had missed. If only it had eaten me before it came here." She wanted it to end, to get out, to go anywhere else but here.

Three links left.

"Let it end. Please." she whispered.

-0-

She couldn't wait.

She had just lost her third link and the hole in her chest was almost empty, but she couldn't take it anymore. She had no idea how long it had been but she wouldn't take this horrible place for another second.

With jerky movements she grabbed the last two links and gave a rough tug. She gasped as stars seemed to dance in her eyes as the pain slammed into her. Oh Lord it hurt so much, like having her heart ripped out and burned at the same time. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth.

No. No this is what she wanted; what she needed.

She let out a scream as she pulled again, and it hurt, BURNED but she could see the disk coming off and she was so close!

With a final scream the chain came out. She uselessly clutched her chest as the pain somehow went even higher. Then it stopped, and for one blessed moment she felt herself shatter like glass.

-0-

The pain in It's stomach seemed familiar but It couldn't really remember why. Maybe It had felt it before? Or maybe It had always felt like this. It didn't know. It didn't care much either. It's life was simple: float in the darkness, exist, rinse and repeat.

It hummed happily as It floated to the left, taking a deep breathe. The pain seemed to lessen when breathing in deep. Did it have to do with the thickness of the air? There seemed to be something in the air, something like energy. Oh, maybe It needs to eat? Those large things eat sometimes, or at least that's what they called it. Maybe It should try?

-0-

Aizen Sosuke paused in his trip across the emptiness between worlds. His lieutenant Gin also paused, but more out of curiosity for why he had stopped.

"What are they, it wonders." The familiar tone of a Hollow echoed around them. Soon a mask seemed to fade into being like smoke in front of them. It was small and perfectly smooth in the shape of an oval. It had no holes for it's eyes and it's mouth was a slim black curve with no teeth, a single black line ran top to bottom in the center. It also didn't appear to have a body.

"Not eaters, not food, It answered. Don't scream like food or look like eaters, It reasoned. Strange. Different. It likes them, It supposed."

"Well this is a surprise." Aizen commented idly, "I didn't know anything lived here." And he hadn't. This place was formless Reishi with no food or land, it was thought to be impossible for anything to actually survive here.

The mask tilted, almost looking questioning, before bobbing back and forth as if shaking it's head.

"Live, It asks? No Nothing lives here, It tells." Aizen gave a small hum at that.

"You look alive to me. Why do you say otherwise?" The mask didn't move, but spoke slowly as though trying to make the words clear.

"Living is movement, progress and failure, eaters and food pass through here to live. But this place has no life, no movement of it's own, It explains." The mask turned to the side and gave a hum. "An eater has lost it's way, It must go now, It regrets."

"Why so soon?" Aizen asked with a polite smile. He was curious but only passingly so, it was an odd Hollow but it was still just a Hollow. It's spiritual energy blended nearly perfectly with the natural Reishi, but he could distinguish it now that he was looking for it. The mask didn't look at him, and started to fade as it answered.

"Losing ones way is the end. The living must keep moving or they become nothing, It answers. But it takes to long for them to become nothing so It just kills them to end their pain, It admits." With that it vanished.

"Creepy fella ain't he?" Gin muttered, as they continued walking. Aizen gave an uncommitted hum in reply, he had more important things to do now but maybe the Hollow would be useful later.

-0-

The mask shifted slightly in the blackness, it's unease hidden with the rest of it's body.

"It doesn't know. It has only known The Black, It doesn't know if It wants to leave." The interesting Not-food-not-eater was back. He, was that right? Or was it a She? A they?, had passed through many times and It always tried to watch her, was that right?, when they passed through.

Normally he, it was going to stick with this one, would greet It and ask questions as he walked on. It liked when he walked through The Black with It. He also showed It his pack: two "men", one with silver hair who closed his eyes, and a black haired man with white on his eyes. It liked the two others, but the black haired one rarely talk to It, and the silver one asked strange questions.

"So can ya see anything or are ya blind like Tousen?"

"It can see, It replies. What is a Tousen, It wonders?"

"What do ya eat here?"

"It breathes The Black and sometimes eats the eaters and the food, It answers."

"Where's ya body?"

"The Black, It replies."

"Why do ya talk like that? Ya retarded?"

"It is offended. Silver should live somewhere else now, It suggests."

It liked the Not-food-not-eater but sometimes It wished his pack didn't follow him so much.

"Oh? But you could become much stronger if you left. You could truly feed and not have to survive off of scraps." Aizen pointed out. He didn't actually know if that was true as the strange Hollow had never shown signs of hunger or madness as far as he could tell.

"It could be stronger, It agrees." The floating mask bobbed a bit before facing him again. "It is The Black and the Black never leaves, It states. It will stay, It informs." With that the mask faded away and Aizen relized he had reached the end of his path.

Oh well, there was always next time and It made the trips less boring if nothing else.