Mass Catalyst: Plants vs Zombies ch.4
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...
Saren had fought Terminus system pirates, Asari mercenaries, Batarian slavers, and even dreaded Thresher Maw...
"Hey, nice costume!"
"For the 10th time it's not a costume! I'm an actual alien!"
...But this was more frustrating then all of them combined!
The moment Saren and his men came to town -in a spaceship no less!- they'd either been commented on for their odd costume, dismissed as a loon, or just dismissed as they 'didn't have time to save their kids'...and went back to their yardwork or paperwork!
All the adults either didn't notice the war happening down the road, didn't care about the war, or were just in denial about it!
Saren was quickly losing his patience with this whole sorry lot! He was just about to rip out his mandibles when people looking like officers showed up.
"Finally, some authority figures!" Shouts out Saren in relief. "Hello there, we understand you know where all the kids are?" Asks the policeman.
Saren smiles, finally some sanity! "Yes, Yes I do! Your town might not have much, but if we pool our resources-
"Yeah, that's great buddy. We just need to know where they are so we can get them back to school, silly scamps are playing hookey."
Saren looks at the group of officers in disbelief, "Playing hooke- They're busy fighting for all your lives!" He shouts aghast.
"That's no excuse for not getting an education. They have their futures to think about."
"Their future- THEIR RISKING THEIR LIVES TO SAVE EVERYONE FROM ZOMBIES! WE WON'T HAVE A FUTURE IF THEY KILL EVERYONE!"
"We'll not with that attitude!" Says an officer
"Buddy, either tell us where the kids are, or we'll have to right you a ticket."
A ticket?" Asks Saren skeptically.
"Yeah, and we might make it two tickets if you give us anymore sass!" Says another Officer as he and his fellows pointed their fingers at them in a comical way as if they were pointing guns at them...
Saren just looked at this sorry display in disbelief, "Right...I don't have time for this nonsense, boys let's just go." They go to leave.
"Hey were not done here- Says the lead cop as he grabs Saren's arm.
Saren, at the edge of his patience, flipped the man over and he fell to the ground...and sobbed like a little girl.
The other cops gaped in horror, "What the- You can't do that! Don't you know if you attack a person that attacks you that makes you a bully too!?" He shouts definitely.
Saren just looks at him dumbly, "Did you seriously just say..." He shakes his head, "You know what? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." He pulls out a gun-
"Whoa! You can't use a gun! That's dangerous! It'll send the wrong message-
BANG!
Saren shoots a round into the air, causing all the human officers to raise their hands in surrender. "Right, take me to your leader. Me and my men are taking over this joint for you Moron's safety, understand?" He points the gun at them irritably.
...No one argued...
...
Meanwhile, the war wasn't really going anywhere. "Oh, for the love of- Where are all these zombies even coming from!?" Demanded a Turian soldier, their tactics and weapons- although superior to the kids and plants -just weren't able to make that big of a dent into the seemingly endless horde.
"Oh, their coming from Dr. Zombosse's lair", explained a kid next to him as he casually shot several zombies in the knee-caps.
The soldier looks at the child, "Zombosse's lair?" He asks confused. The child sighs and quickly explains about the mastermind behind the whole thing...as well as the exact coordinates of his lair.
"For all the good it dose us." Says the kid depressed, "Even if we could spare the manpower- which we can't -we'd never get past all his defenses! He has a freaking 10-ft robotic dragon for crying out loud!"
The soldier just gives a the kid a comforting hand on the soldier, "Kid...don't worry...because you just gave us the means to win this war..."
...
Dr. Zomboss cackles maniacally, "Finally after all theses years...victory is in my grasp! Soon the last human settlement will fall, the incompetent adults will be made into zombies- actually strike that, even by zombie standards their too dumb -the children spanked to submission, Crazy Dave brought before me in shackles, and those blasted plants will finally be turned to mulch!"
Zomboss did a marry jig as his Bavarian zombies played music, "Yes, the merriment begin! Bring the taco brains and brain juice champagne!" He laughs.
While a zombie waiter brings in said order...he looks up. "Duh...boss? What that shiny thingie in big above place?" Asks the zombie dimly as he points his arm straight up in the sky...which then immediately falls off...
Zomboss, curious also squints up and sees... "Is that a second sun?" That was the last word he spoke before the Turian fleets orbital bombardment blew his HQ to kingdom come with him along with it...
...
All across the planet...the zombies dropped down DOUBLE dead...
...
A turian soldier looked at all this as the children, plants and Turians cheered "Wait, why would their masters death cause them all to die? Wouldn't there be a- "Dude! Don't overthink it! We've won! Let the Salarians figure things out later!"
...
Shanix Incident aftermath report: 2049564#
Naturally, when first told of what had transpired the council believed it to be a joke...it took the gift of a potted Pea-shooter and a yeti zombie head to take it seriously.
At first they were horrified to learn of Saren's rather hostile takeover of the human settlement...and then they spent five minutes with the human adults...after that they put their stamp of approval on the whole takeover.
Investigation into the humans 'unnatural' drop in intellect between the adults and the children...yielded unsettling results. The stupidity appears to be the result of a genetic virus that although dormant in the children and harmless to non-human species...begins to take effect sometime in adulthood.
Thankfully an antidote was quickly made that killed the dormant virus in children...but proved useless in curing the awakened virus in adults. For the children's well being, they're parents have been deemed unfit and the children have been given to Child Protective Services.
Although most children were happy for this- although suspicious toward the 'new' adults- there was the issue of what to do with Patrice Blazing, the niece of 'Crazy Dave'.
She refused to be separated from him, but although clearly having a loving relationship...the child service rep's were reluctant to leave her with him due to his mental state.
Eventually, the council ruled on a compromise. Since they wanted to learn more about Mr. Dave's 'plant science' they had already decided to give him a bodyguard detail to protect him and any Council scientist who would come to assist/observe his work.
So with this in mind, they agree to allow Patricia to remain with Dave, provided she obey the wishes of the bodyguard detail- even over Dave's wishes.
The zombies(both dead, alive, and re-dead) have all been rounded up, quarantined, and sent to various Council installations and concerns for further study.
Interview's with human elders and examinations of artifacts in local museums has yielded a shocking discovery...Shanix is not the human homeworld. Strong evidence indicates that the humans of this world landed here to establish a colony after fleeing from some 'calamity' -what this calamity was is still under investigation -and the virus gradually dumbed them down from their space-faring roots, and their 'origins' became the stuff of folklore and legend.
the colonists original spaceship- long mistaken by the locals as an 'ancient outhouse' -although degraded and damaged, has provided SOME data on potential coordinates on other human colony worlds. The council is currently in session on how to deal with this revelation...
Addendum:
Zombosse's body was never found...
...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: This story may have ended, but it will -maybe- continue on in multiple sequels, so many human worlds so little time: Gravity falls, Danny phantom, Supernatural, Juniper lee, Loud house, simpsons, MLP, etc. What anime, cartoon, book, or game would you like to see done? Bribes of 'Shake up the falls' chapters will greatly help my writing speed. (wink) (wink) God bless you and have a nice day!
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me