Chapter 2: Aptitude

The morning of the Aptitude test, I wake up and stare at the ceiling above. My thoughts swirl and my stomach churns. Thoughts of Caleb are on my mind. He is going to transfer to Erudite. I feel strange knowing something I shouldn't, but it isn't hard for me to keep a secret. I've practically been keeping secrets my entire life. My thoughts turn to my father. Rumors have been swirling about him in decent days. Rumors that really aren't rumors but actual truth. My father has been on edge around me, thinking that it was I who started the rumors. But I know better than to do that. I know it would only make things worse for me. So I can't help but wonder if Caleb let the information slip in order to make a potential transfer more understandable. A transfer to Erudite with him. It is plausible, but it isn't the only explanation.

Honestly, if I were a betting person, my money would be on my brother, Tobias. He knows that I will be choosing soon. Perhaps he is trying to pave the way to make an easier break from my father. No, it will not surprise me if I find out that Tobias is behind the whole thing. My heart pangs. I miss my brother. I wish he was here to talk to me. To guide me through this process. I can't help but wonder what his thoughts were like before his Choosing. Right now, I wish I would have taken the time to talk to him more about it. But I was too busy playing a good Abnegation girl to have taken much interest.

Slowly, I roll out of bed. I glance down at the messy bed. Part of me wants to leave it. But I know better. I know better than to bring shame on my father. So I make my bed, not because I want to or because it's what a good Abnegation does. No, I make it out of fear, hoping that by making it, it will be one less fault my father can find with me. But that has been my entire life. A pain I carry invisibly, weighing me down. My only relief is Caleb, who figured it out on his own, but it's even hard to voice it to him. Because if I voice it, that makes it more real and I prefer it to remain at arm's length at all times.

I walk downstairs and find that my father is gone. He must have gone to work early. He must have had a lot to do, or he was keeping his distance from me as to not give a reason for truth to the rumors swirling about him. Either way, I am glad that he isn't here. Last night he decided to have another conversation with me about not bringing shame to the family. I know he is worried about my Aptitude test. He does not want another embarrassment in the family, but he seems to expect it from me. I am glad that he does not know my inner turmoil. Every time he asks about the subject, I play the good Abnegation girl and change the subject which only seems to make him more suspicious.

I am about to head out the door to catch the bus when I realize that I have not done something with my hair. It is hanging down my back, nearly reaching my waist. I like wearing it down, but it is not our way. So I quickly brush it back with my fingers before I manage to tie it back in some sort of bun. I just hope that it does not fall out. I then exit my house to find Caleb and Beatrice Prior waiting. I try to hide my smile and keep my head down as I walk to meet them.

"Good morning, Edith," Caleb greets me.

"Good morning, Caleb. Good morning, Beatrice," I say with my gaze still on the ground while a blush creeps onto my cheeks. My blush intensifies when I feel Caleb's hand brush against mine. I accidentally make eye contact with Beatrice, who smiles and shakes her head. I know she knows about Caleb and me. Then again, I am pretty sure she knew about Caleb and me before I knew about Caleb and me.

"Beatrice, aren't you going to say good morning?" Caleb rebukes his sister.

She looks at the ground sheepishly. "Sorry. Good morning, Edith."

I give Beatrice a sympathetic look. I knew she didn't mean anything by it. I can't help but wonder if he is being a little harder on her because he knows he is leaving Abnegation and he is trying to help his sister while he still can. I find the thought jarring and I quickly force my thoughts elsewhere, lest I betray Caleb's confidence.

"How are you doing this morning?" Caleb asks me. I glance up at him and his expression tells me that his question is a loaded one.

I take a deep breath before answering, "I didn't get much sleep last night." I was trying to keep my words vague in front of Beatrice. I know this would be one of the only chances I would get to speak openly with him before the ceremony tomorrow and I wanted to be honest with him.

"Marcus keep you up?"

I know what he means and I could honestly answer that we did only talk last night. Granted, it had been mostly a one-way conversation, but thankfully, he didn't lay a hand or belt on me last night. But Caleb doesn't seem quite sure by my response. I brush my hand against his. "I'm fine," I whisper for only him to hear. "I would tell you if…"

He nods his head before I can finish. He understands.

We stop at the bus stop and board the bus. We each take a seat. Caleb sits between me and Beatrice. I can feel his nearness. I try to ignore him to maintain the desires within. I want to kiss him but it is hardly an appropriate time or place. For a brief moment, I wonder if we would have more freedom to do as we desired in Erudite. I glance around the bus hoping to spot and Erudite couple, but the bus stops. I am distracted by the people getting on and off the bus, although more people seem to be getting on than off.

I watch as Caleb stands to offer a surly Candor man his spot. He reaches up and grabs hold of the railing above to keep himself steady. Since the Candor man is practically sitting on top of me, I follow suit with Caleb. I stand and reach up for the railing. I stand facing Caleb, who is looking down at me with a soft smile on his face. I look up at him and study his features as the bus jolts forward and begins to move again. He is quite handsome. I know it is a selfish thought, but I am glad that he was born Abnegation otherwise I would probably have quite a bit of competition for him. But Caleb had chosen me. Although, I still am not sure what Caleb Prior sees in me anyway.

The next bus jolt catches me off guard and I crash forward into Caleb. He is stiff and breaks my fall. His free arm wraps around my waist to steady me. My eyes widen at his audacity. But truthfully, I enjoy the feeling of his arm around me. Once he sees that I am steady on my feet, he removes his arm. But I can still feel the warmth of where his arm once was and I find myself wishing he puts his arm back, despite knowing he won't.

The bus stops in front of the school and I file off behind Caleb and Beatrice. I stay a few steps behind them as Beatrice engages her brother in conversation. I do not mind giving her time with Caleb, knowing what I know, especially since I have a feeling that he has not told her about his plans. I simply follow them into the school, likely our last day here. A thought then jolts me, many of the teachers here are Erudites. Perhaps, just perhaps I could find myself working here one day. But before any of that could happen, I need to survive today.

Caleb and Beatrice stop in the hallway. I brush past Caleb."I'll be right there," Caleb says.

I smile at him. "Take your time," I say.

Caleb and I are in Advanced Math together, while Beatrice is in Faction History. Today, we all our classes are shortened and are before lunch. After lunch, we will take our Aptitude tests. The thought makes my stomach lurch. But I suppress that feeling and walk into my math classroom. I barely take my seat when Caleb walks in and takes his seat beside me. And we begin our last day of classes together.

After lunch, I sit at a table with Caleb, Beatrice, and Susan Black. If Abnegation were better at expressing their feelings, I would be fairly certain Susan has a crush on Caleb. But he is mine. For now at least. Tomorrow that could all change...not that I want it to. But my mind tells me that it is a possibility. My saving grace will be that Caleb chooses before me. So if for some reason he decides to change his mind, I will at least know before I choose.

I catch Caleb glancing at the Erudites studying while they wait for their Aptitude test. He knows I am watching him because he quickly changes his glance toward the Amity. I sigh. I wonder if this test will know the conflict that rages within me and then I wonder if Tobias had the same conflict within him. I wonder if my father is the cause of the conflict and if I would still be in this situation if my father were different.

Caleb's name is called.

"Good luck," I whisper to him.

He smiles before he walks toward the exit with confidence. His decision is already made, unlike mine. Beatrice scoots closer toward me. I can tell that she is nervous and not wearing her Abnegation facade. Although, I'm not so sure that I am wearing a good mask either.

"Are you nervous?" Beatrice asks in a whisper.

"Depends who is asking," I whisper back.

She nods knowingly before she closes her eyes.

Ten minutes later, Caleb returns. He doesn't look nearly as confident as he did going in. He is pale and breathing rather heavily. He sits on the other side of me, rather than asking Beatrice to move from where he had been sitting. Caleb then does something surprises me. He weaves his fingers through mine and holds onto my hand. I know no one is watching us, but it is still strange. It is not our way, but I don't let go. I can feel the sweat on his hands. It takes a lot to get Caleb worked up like this. I do not think he means to, but he is making me more nervous.

Susan and Beatrice are both called next. Caleb and I are alone in our section of the table. We sit there still holding hands. I know I am not supposed to ask him about his test, but I really want to ask him. I refrain. While still holding it, Caleb draws circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

Sometime later, a woman in a black blazer and jeans walks toward Caleb and me. I expect Caleb to let go of my hand, but he doesn't. "Caleb," the woman says, like she knows him, leading me to conclude that she must have given him his Aptitude test. Caleb looks up at her. The woman continues, "Your sister got sick and she wanted me to tell you that she left."

"She what?" Caleb asks.

"I'm sure she'll be fine." The woman forces a smile and then turns toward me, her smile is now more genuine. "Edith Eaton, you're up."

I glance at Caleb. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before he releases it. I take a deep breath and stand. I follow the woman to rooms only used for Aptitude testing. Before I go leave the cafeteria, I look back at Caleb. I can tell me watched me walk away. He smiles at me and then I disappear from his view. The hallway is completely mirrored. I can't help but notice my reflection and how my messy my hastily thrown-up bun looks. For a moment, my nerves about the test fade as they turn toward my father's reaction to my appearance. I am more scared of my father at the moment.

"I'm Tori, by the way," the woman says as she opens the door to room six.

I walk inside and she shuts the door behind us. She opens her mouth to say something else but quickly closes it, probably deciding against whatever she was about to say. Instead, she motions me toward the chair. I take a deep breath. Thoughts of my father are making me more nervous. I cannot fail this. I sit down and play with my hands nervously.

"You look like him," Tori says holding a cup of liquid in her hand.

My brow furrows. "Like who?" I ask. I think she means my father.

She smirks. "Your brother."

My eyes widen. "Tobias? You know my brother?"

Tori nods her head. "You Abnegation are more curious than you let on." She then pushes the liquid toward me. "Drink up."

I look at her hesitantly, but she continues to hold the liquid until I finally grab it. I want to ask why I have to drink it or what will happen once I drink it, but a good Abnegation wouldn't ask. They would just do as they're told. That is an act I need to continue...at least for now. Tori looks at me curiously. It feels like she knows I am questioning things, but she doesn't say anything. Instead, I exhale a breath and quickly knock back the liquid before my eyes close.

When I open my eyes, I am standing in the middle of an empty cafeteria. Even the long tables are gone. Strange. Caleb should be here. He is supposed to wait for me to finish my test. I shake my head. Had I already done my test? But suddenly a table with two baskets appears in front of me. In one basket is a knife. In the other is a hunk of cheese.

A woman's voice tells me to choose.

Perhaps this is the test. I look at the cheese and the knife. Why would one be forced to choose between cheese and a knife in the Aptitude test? How were those two objects supposed to determine which faction I belonged in? It doesn't make sense. I don't know which to take. If I knew the purpose of the choice, I would be able to choose.

"Choose," the woman says again.

I growl. I want to know why, but I know better than to ask. That has been ingrained in me for years.

"Choose!" This time the woman's voice yells the words at me.

Gah. Actions have consequences, I know that. So, I better play things safe. I grab a hold of each basket with my hands. Why do I have to choose when I could have both? I have two hands after all.

The table disappears, as do the baskets in my hands.

"What?" I whisper.

"You couldn't make a choice, so you get neither."

That hardly seems fair. But I do not have time to dwell on it because the door creaks open. I turn to do a dog standing in the doorway. The dog is crouched low and is growling. Great. Just great. Both the knife and cheese could have come in handy, but I have neither.

Think. Think. Think.

Three options: fight, flight, or freeze.

Think. Think. Think.

We've learned about dogs in biology. They can smell fear so that rules out running. Fighting would only egg it on. Only one option. But no fear. It certainly isn't going to be easy. I attempt to steady my breathing before I crouch down so that I am on my knees. Slowly, I reach my hand forward and look down at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact.

The dog comes forward and sniffs my hand. It sniffs again. It growls. I breathe steadily. No fear. No fear. No fear. Then the dog does something that surprises me. It nudges my hand with its wet nose. It takes a few steps forward before it licks my face.

I scrunch my face which is now wet with doggy drool before I release a chuckle. My father never let me have a dog. I always wanted a dog. Tobias and I asked several times growing up, but we stopped asking when we knew that it would only lead to pain and suffering. I pet the dog. This makes me smile.

I hear footsteps. We are not alone. I glance up and see a young girl standing there in a white dress.

That's when things get weird.

The girl suddenly morphs into my father. It almost seems like a computer glitch, but sure enough, Marcus Eaton is standing there. He tells me to get away from the dog. This makes the dog angry. I try to hold onto to the dog, hoping that my father might have some mercy, but the dog bolts. It runs straight for my father and lunges.

Then, things get weird again.

The dog morphs into my brother. It is no longer the dog lunging toward my father, but Tobias. But it isn't quite the Tobias I remember. While he almost looks the way I remember, he has traded in his Abnegation gray for Dauntless black. Tobias knocks my father off his feet. He packs a pretty good punch too.

But then my father pushes Tobias off him, sending him flying. My father is seething as Tobias lies somewhat limply against the mirrored walls. Tobias looks hurt. It is a scene I have seen many times before. But normally, my father has a stopping point. He does not look finished with Tobias. He marches toward my brother.

"No," I whisper. I will not let my father hurt Tobias anymore. My feet carry me toward my brother. I am not even thinking at this moment because if I was, I would remember the words faction over blood. If was thinking, I stand on the side of my father. But instead, I put myself between the two of them. I stand in front of Tobias, crossing my arms in an x in front of my face, shielding myself from the impending blow.

My father suddenly stops. For a moment, I think perhaps he will not strike me. But I hear an all-too-familiar sound: his belt being loosened. Still, in the stance I struck, I begin to tremble. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

The belt makes contact. I scream in agony before I crumple to the ground. I can't save him. I can't save Tobias. I can't save him after all the times he saved me.

But Tobias suddenly springs to his feet. He is wielding the knife from before. Anger is clear on his face. My father looks surprised. He slowly begins to back up, holding his hands up in defense. Tobias slowly moves forward.

"Edith," my father says glancing my way. "Edith."

I slowly stand to my feet. I should do something. But I can't. Instead, I watch as Tobias draws the knife high. He starts to plunge the knife toward my father, but I turn my head and close my eyes.

When I finally open my eyes, the scene has changed. I am now standing on a full bus. There isn't a single seat open. A man sits in front of me clutching a newspaper. He holds it in front of his face. All I can see is his hand.

"Do you know this guy?" he asks. He taps the front page, which is facing me. The headline reads:"Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!"

At first, the face looks vaguely familiar. But then there seems to be another glitch. The face swirls for a few seconds. When the swirling stops, the face changes. This time, the face is easily recognizable. Tobias.

My breathing hitches and my heart starts to race. The man asks again if I know the guy. If the man knew who I was, he would already know the answer to his question. He must not know who I am. He must not know that I am Edith Eaton-daughter of Marcus and Evelyn, sister of Tobias. For a moment, it feels good to bask in my anonymity, a feeling I rarely ever felt in my lifetime.

But the man is persistent. "Do you know him?"

Feeling an urge to protect my brother, I answer, "No."

"Don't. Lie. To. Me." The man's voice is as cold as ice and I now recognize it. He flips the paper down. It is my father. "Why did you let him kill me, Edith?"

My father stands to his full height beside me. He is trying to intimidate me..and it almost works. But if how can he be asking me why I let Tobias kill him, if Tobias actually killed him? He can't. That means this can't be real. This is my Aptitude test. It has been the entire time.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

My eyes fling open and I gasp for air.

"Not again," Tori whispers.

Then everything goes black.

Author's Note: It's been a while. Sorry. Gotta go where my muse takes me...and for a while, that was nowhere. Such is life. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Where do you think Edith will end up? Thanks for taking the time to read this. Also a big thank you to those who reviewed. It means the world to me! :)