Occlumency

Harry did not consider himself to be especially susceptible to pain. He had played Quidditch with broken bones. He had pretended to be alright after being roughed up by Dudley's gang just to deny his cousin the gratification of seeing him hurt. And he had for months outright ignored a feeling best described as being poked with a sharp knife in his scar.

This time, the young wizard suffered from one hell of a headache. He cursed his misfortune of unearthing yet another kind of pain to experience. He was definitely not going to become a fan of this.

Harry tried to distract himself and think of something entirely different. Like Quidditch!

Sadly, the pain was just too present to be ignored. His attempt ended with him musing about his current situation. By far the worst thing about his headache was that it felt so superfluous. Two hours ago, he had gone to Snape anticipating a headache. Now he had one. And like he had expected he had not made any progress on Occlumency.

He had ruined his Saturday evening for nothing. And on top of it, there was the very real chance that the headache would linger and ruin most of his Sunday as well. All four Sundays since he had returned to Hogwarts had been wasted in this manner. And given his lack of progress, all other Sundays in the near future would be as well.

Morosely, Harry maneuvered through the library until he reached Hermione's table. He let himself drop into an empty chair and groaned instantly as his brain bounced off the inside of his skull.

"I hate Snape."

At first, it seemed as if Hermione had not heard him. She neither turned her head nor did she stop writing. "You should ask Umbridge to license a club for that."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find members," Harry grumbled. With utmost care, he placed his head on the dark oak table. He remained unmoving and silent. The library was quiet. And it felt mind-bogglingly good not to think.

"Any progress?"

"No."

Their discussion ended with that question.

Soon after, Harry felt fingers slip through his hair. This was why he had sat down left of Hermione. She could write and he could get petted. No talking required. Just blissful silence. It was the best combination he could hope to find right then.

How much time they spent like this he couldn't tell. But it was late when he followed Hermione out of the library.

When they reached Gryffindor tower they exchanged a brief "Good night," and went into their respective dorms.

Harry pulled the curtains of his four-poster-bed close. He was grateful for being exhausted enough to fall asleep despite his terrible headache.

Sunday morning saw a well-rested Boy-Who-Lived who managed to talk his girlfriend into accompanying him to breakfast instead of getting him to fetch her something.

Harry was in an especially good mood. Not only did he not suffer a headache. While brushing his teeth he had developed the theory that he had made progress at Occlumency without noticing it. He had realized in hindsight that he had not slipped into Voldemort's mind and dreamed about the corridor leading into the Department of Mysteries for a while.

He informed Hermione thusly, "You know, I've not had a single dream this week. It grew worse after the first session of … you-know." Harry had remembered just in time where they were. The Great Hall was not very crowded and nobody was sitting close to them but discretion was the better part of valor. "But ever since it's become much better."

This earned him a frown. "Just yesterday you said that you made no progress."

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I was wrong."

Being in a cheerful mood turned out to be appetite-stimulating. Before Harry could come up with something he wanted to talk about, the Sunday edition of the Daily Prophet was delivered. He had subscribed to it for a very tangible reason. He did not like Hedwig stealing the paper from other owls whenever his picture was on the front page, which happened less frequently these days but still often enough.

His good mood was not destined to survive the delivery. The headline read, "Mass Escape From Azkaban!"

He turned left and said, "Hermione look at-" but she was already reading over his shoulder that Britain's most feared murderers and terrorists had broken out of prison around midnight.

About a dozen moving pictures were squeezed on the front page. A few of the wizards seemed to be in an apathetic state. One or two looked defiant. The rest were glowering menacingly. The one picture which attracted his attention though was the one of Bellatrix Lestrange. She was yanking on her chains like a rabid animal.

When Harry looked up, he saw groups of students huddled over the few available newspapers. The present professors were not any better. The Great Hall had rarely felt this tense. Everyone was reading the main article or one of the many reprinted reports from a decade ago.

Harry only looked up when laughter interrupted the eerie silence. The seventh-year Hufflepuffs were entering the Great Hall. It was quite obvious that they had not heard the news yet. Harry spotted Cedric in their midst.

And sure enough, the head boy glanced at him. A week ago, Neville had first asked Harry why Cedric was watching him. Harry had laughed and said that Neville was imagining things. But the shy Gryffindor had been right. Cedric was indeed observing him.

Harry was certain that the Hufflepuff was trying to come up with a way to correct the damage he had done with his lie. But Harry could do without the older boy messing up once more. He pushed his plate away. "Are you done with breakfast?"

Hermione did not look up from the newspaper. "Sure."

"Let's go to the library then." When Harry folded the paper, Hermione grumbled in annoyance.

Then, she hurriedly wrapped some food into a napkin. It was easy to conclude that she was planning to skip lunch. For once, Harry thought that it was actually a good idea. So, he packaged some food for himself as well.

The last thing Harry took notice of upon leaving the Great Hall was that Cedric and his friends had gotten a newspaper of their own.

On the way to the library, Harry reflected on what he had just read. While the actual prison break was certainly a surprise, he had been expecting something really big like this to happen for a while. The series of small Death Eater attacks had to have led up to something. They had been too random and too pointless. Now, he was sure that somehow they had been executed in preparation for this escape or as a diversion for the Order.

He needed to up the ante as well. While dueling Hermione was certainly useful for his prowess, he finally needed to resume the training sessions with his classmates. And he needed to get ahead in becoming a member of the Order of the Phoenix. To do so, he needed to master Occlumency.

The outbreak was good in one regard. Harry was no longer on the horns of a dilemma. The question of whether he might be able to garner useful information from Voldemort had been resolved. Sirius had been right. The mental connection between Voldemort and himself was firmly under the control of the evil wizard. It was the only explanation why Harry had not learned anything about this highly complex plan in advance.

Right before they reached the library, Harry pulled his girlfriend into an empty classroom and told her, "Hermione, I need to master Occlumency."

The witch replied indifferently, "Sure. The sooner the better."

Her disinterest was a bit disheartening for Harry. "Have you read the books I've given you?"

"Not all of them."

"Why not?"

"I was not under the impression that I was in a hurry to do so."

Harry frowned involuntarily. He thought about how many volumes he had brought along from Sirius' library. Probably more than he had realized. But he had meant to impress Hermione. He had been hoping the generosity would help to change her opinion in favor of his godfather. "What about the Occlumency ones ?"

Hermione bit her lower lip. In a cool tone she explained, "Given your current pursuit, I thought I'd read some of them." She then added pointedly, "Maybe you should do so too."

Harry realized that something about her reaction was off but he refrained from addressing his confusion. Instead, he said, "I'm trying to read up on the matter. But barely anything written about Occlumency makes sense to me."

"I understand why you're having problems. Occlumency is an ability hard to impart through words only. Which is why a proficient Legilimens is so essential to learning it." Hermione shrugged one shoulder. "You should consider talking to Snape about your troubles."

Harry's sarcastic answer was reflexive. "Sure. That's going to do me a lot of good. Next, you'll claim that Snape never explained anything in Potions because he has never been asked to do so and that he is only waiting – futilely so – for any student to ask him a question."

Hermione's reply was tart, "If you'd rather have him go over your memories instead of talking to him then there is nothing I can do."

It was pretty clear for Harry that Hermione's mood had something to do with him learning Occlumency. "Is there a special reason why you're turning me down before I can even ask you for help?"

She turned her head demonstratively away. "We talked about this before. Snape is teaching you Occlumency. What do you expect me to do? I can't even perform basic Legilimency. I've not even attempted to cast the spell. And even Sirius told you that one needs someone capable of Legilimency to teach Occlumency effectively."

"Everyone has to start somewhere." The young wizard said carefully. "Besides, there is no time like the present."

His girlfriend huffed but at least she made eye contact again. "Who do you think I am? Sputtering some proverbs won't change my mind."

"What I said is not necessarily wrong. But you're right. I can make a better point. I think that it would be easier for me to handle a beginner performing Legilimency on me than someone as capable as Snape."

"That's not how teaching Occlumency works." She turned her head away so sharply that her hair wiped through the air.

"Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her generation, unwilling to learn magic," Harry said mockingly. "I'll mark today in my calendar."

When the brunette turned around to face him, she once more launched into the rant Harry had tried to provoke. "Look you somehow talked me into helping you with that dumb club – which is a huge time sink in my opinion. I'll even finish casting the Protean Charm on coins for you but I will not learn Legilimency." The witch crossed her arms – which Harry always appreciated – and huffed, "Besides, it would take years before I'd be more than decent. And I was under the impression that you wanted to learn it today rather than tomorrow."

"Snape is pants at teaching. That's as true for Occlumency as it is for potions."

"I'm no professor. I can't teach."

"That's not true. You've already taught me loads of stuff. And others too! Just think of Katie. Or that one solo-lesson you gave Neville."

"I've not taught anything to anybody. I occasionally check Katie's Arithmancy. And I visualized for Neville what he was doing wrong in transfiguration. And you? I pointed you at books and I've been showing you spells... and I have no idea how you absorb them like that. You just pick stuff up in a jiffy. I don't know how you do that. Especially without understanding the theory! But as that one meeting of your ill-fated club has proven I lack the patience for real teaching." She took a deep breath. "So, how am I supposed to teach you something tedious and long-winded when I can't teach like that? I'm sorry but I can't just show you how it is done this time."

Harry had no idea how Hermione could think that she was bad at teaching after she had just listed the many instances in which she had actually done so. He felt his mouth open multiple times but there was just so much he wanted to say that he did not know where to start. There was just way too much he needed to address. In the end, he settled for not fraying out their discussion. "But you can perform Occlumency. All you-"

"Yes. I'm capable of Occlumency. But unless you know something I don't there is no way for me to show it to you." In an urging voice, Hermione added, "Look, the most important part of learning Occlumency is to become aware when someone enters your mind. You notice when Snape performs Legilimency on you, don't you?"

Harry harrumphed, "It would be really hard to miss."

"That's half the battle. All you need to do now is to take control of your memories. And the next step afterwards will already be the last one – repelling him."

"See, you already know how to go about it. Please, Hermione, I need your help."

"I already told you that I can't help you. You can't just discard my arguments by saying 'please'."

Harry wondered if he should address the arguments one by one. They were all rubbish in his opinion. The problem was Hermione's stubbornness. She would fight him over each point. It would take forever to persuade her. "Okay, how about a compromise. I'll leave you alone if you're right. So, just try to cast Legilimens at me and if it doesn't work I'll not only leave you alone but on top of it I'll even talk to Snape."

"It doesn't matter how much you're trying to convince me. I know that it won't work. Legilimency is a spell that requires a lot of knowledge beyond the incantation and the wand movement."

A smirk appeared on Harry's face. "And you just happen to know that because you already read up on it. You can cast it. I know it."

"I said, no."

"Please?"

Hermione's nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. And as if this was not enough to express her displeasure she additionally put her hands onto her hips. "Regarding this matter, I've got a question for you. Why would I even want you to master Occlumency? For me, the matter is pretty clear. If you don't learn Occlumency you're disallowed from becoming a member of that nefarious Order. I can't see how it might come as a surprise for you that I don't want you to become a member of Dumbledore's illegal vigilante justice brigade."

Harry defended Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix impulsively, "It's not about vigilante justice at all."

"Enlighten me, then. What else is it about?"

"It's about fighting Voldemort."

"Are you deliberately ignoring it or are you really not aware that the Order is like the definition of a group dedicated to vigilante justice?"

"What choice is there? Fudge won't even lift a single finger!"

"You are aware that Umbridge is here because people in the ministry think Dumbledore should not recruit students right out of Hogwarts, right? I mean the witch they send us is a thoroughly despicable being but she was sent here to stop the recruitment of child soldiers."

"I'm not a child soldier!"

"Correct. You're not right now. But you want to learn Occlumency for the sole reason to become one."

"I don't want to learn Occlumency to join the Order of the Phoenix but to get Voldemort out of my head."

Hermione shook her head dismissively. "Voldemort is not in your head. Despite what everyone seems to think. There is no mental link between him and you. No such magic exists that is capable of connecting minds. If there was something fitting to that description it would be mentioned in the books you brought along. Did you think I would not notice that a disproportionately large number of them is about Occlumency?"

"You said you did not read them!" Harry's tone was accusing.

"No, I did not. I checked the list of contents and chapter headlines and skimmed those who had neither."

"Fine, let's assume you're right. If there is no mental connection between Voldemort and me," Upon saying this, Harry saw Hermione nodding approvingly, "then you should be able to explain to me this: How did I know that Mr. Weasley was bitten by a snake? That's a bit too specific to be a coincidence."

"What you experienced is - generally speaking - called divination. And I shouldn't need to tell you this since you've been in a course dedicated to it for two and a half years."

That was a low blow in Harry's opinion. "And how do you explain that I made a prophecy about the very place I've been dreaming about for months and at the very moment it was most convenient? Shouldn't I have predicted something about... I don't know. Literally anything else? I mean—uhm... why not the lottery?"

"You scried - which is the technically correct term used in Divination by the way - the corridor because you were focusing on it. Focusing is the key ability for gifted seers to look for something specific in the future. And since you did not truly look into the future but at something in the present, it was only technically a divination."

"A divination is a divination. So either I'm a seer or there is a mental link between Voldemort and me." He could see Hermione's eye twitch. Harry could only assume that it had not been the most clever thing to say.

"Did you ever listen to Trelawney at all? She can't be such a bad professor. And even if she was, there are books! There is no such thing as divination of the present or the past. There are half a dozen... In fact, I remember telling you about scrying! And I told you to check whether you might be scrying that corridor. Go and ask the new professor about it! And if that's all you want from me this discussion is over!" Hermione harrumphed.

She was already at the door when Harry called after her. "Please, Hermione, I need to learn Occlumency and I'm sure you're the one who could teach it to me."

His girlfriend turned around and the anger dissipated for a moment. "It's really simple. Even if I could teach you, I wouldn't. I won't help you to become a disposable soldier for the Order. Just think of the photo you showed me. The one with your parents and Neville's parents and all those other dead people. Think of your parents and their classmates who were killed. Why do you think there were so many young people in that photograph?"

Upon answering her own question, her voice turned harsh. "I'll tell you why. Recruiting them was the most convenient option for the Headmaster."

"Hermione..."

"You want a compromise? I'll offer you one. If you swear on your magic that you won't join the Order, I will try to teach you Occlumency." Hermione stared at him for a moment.

After a few seconds of expectant silence, she turned around and left the abandoned classroom.

Harry shook his head in an attempt to get rid of his bafflement. A mixed bag of feelings and thoughts competed for his attention. He was disappointed but felt kind of content at the same time because Hermione worried about him. He also wondered whether she had expected him to vow right away.

The longer he thought about that option the more it seemed like the logical choice. If he was honest, he did not see himself becoming a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He could already hear Dumbledore's grandfatherly chuckle. He would say something nice about courage and then reject him for being too young.

Harry thought about the enlarged kitchen table at Grimmauld Place. He imagined the witches and wizards sitting at it. Neither Professor McGonagall nor Mr. or Mrs. Weasley or even Remus would allow him to join. Harry was not even sure if Sirius would vote in favor of him. Would there even be a vote? Or was Dumbledore the one who decided who was allowed to join? And even if he became a member of the Order what kind of task could he expect to be given? In the end, he would still be at Hogwarts for most of the year. And when he was not he would be holed up at Sirius' place.

This conclusion was disheartening. But it also made his decision a no-brainer.

The young wizard had a spring in his step when he left the dusty classroom.

After all, he had succeeded in talking Hermione into teaching him Occlumency.

A/N: Good news! I've got three more chapters written. They just require some beta-reading. I'll probably publish them on a weekly schedule. Speaking of beta-reading, this chapter was beta-read by TriesHardToWrite and Avaxius - thanks! And also thanks for the many reviews - they're very motivating.