Disclaimer: Supernatural does not belong to me. Only the plot and some characters, like Lily, are mine.

Summary: From the moment God created the Earth, it was known that Dean and Sam Winchester were similar enough to Michael and Lucifer to be their vessels. Their sister, Lily, was not a vessel, but she shared a profound bond with one archangel. She loved her family, and would do anything for them. But she wasn't strong enough to endure the way the fought with one another, so she ran away, just like an archangel had, a long time before. Slightly AU.

English is not my native language, so forgive me for any mistake I might make.

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Chapter 1

...

With a deep sigh, a young woman closed the door behind her back, leaning against it for support as her limbs protested against each move she made, wanting nothing more than to rest for at least twelve hours. She didn't need to look down to know her blouse were smeared with blood- her blood.

She forced herself to move away from the door, acknowledging the fact that she needed to heal her wounds before she could rest.

She aimed blindly for the light-switches, and upon finding them and turning them on, her eyes protested against the sudden brightness, black dots appearing on her vision for a small moment. Once she regained her senses of where she was, fighting against her exhaustion and her blood-loss, she managed to find the first-aid kit she had on the cupboard close to the fridge, and pulled it out as she moved towards the small living room and collapsed against one of the couches.

There, she took her jacket and blouse off. She looked down at her stomach, only to feel disgust drip down her throat as she saw she still had one claw stuck in her stomach. It was there, piercing her skin. If she pulled it out, she knew the blood would only come out faster than it had, but leaving it there wasn't an option.

She forced herself to take several deep breaths before gently touching her fingertips against the claw, wincing when the contact sent a bolt of pain through her whole body. It took her a moment, then she gathered her courage and pulled it out as fast as she could, gasping. She was swift to grab a tissue, putting it over the bleeding wound as she looked for the necessary things to disinfect the wound- to then stitch it up.

The house-phone rang.

The sound made her jump several feet on the air, her grip on the stitching needle wavering. She looked towards the beeping machine, then pursed her lips. It appeared she'd been too concentrated on herself to realize someone was calling her. However, it had to wait, unless she wished to bleed to death. She looked down at herself once more as she started to stitch herself up, choosing to ignore it, knowing that whoever was calling would, most certainly, leave a message if it was something important.

Just as she expected, by the time she was done with her wounds, the machine beeped once again, then the message they'd left echoed through the whole living room:

"Lily? It's me, Dean."

The young woman straightened into a sitting position, breathing deeply through her mouth and swallowing the pain coming from her stomach, carefully pressing a hand against it to protect her wound from opening again.

Distinctly, she wondered why her brother would call her after years of not bothering to.

The last time they'd talked had been when their younger brother, Sam, had abandoned them to go to college, which had made their father extremely furious. Lily had been happy for Sam, but had remained away from them. She didn't want to choose a side: she loved her father and her big brother, but her little brother also had a right to do what he wanted with his life.

She had a right to do what she wanted with her life.

That was something her father never seemed to care about, that was something that always haunted her back when she was younger and still lived with them.

That, along with the never-ending fights, had been what drove her away from them.

"Listen, there's a possible job here in Springfield, California. We figured that you'd know about it since your boyfriend lives close to the university we're going to investigate. Your presence might help us a lot. So, if you want...you can join us."

The thought of seeing her brothers again tempted her greatly, though she had no desires of seeing her father after their last argument. Then there was the possibility of seeing her ex-fiancé, which bothered Lily more than the prospect of seeing her absent, unlovable father.

But she did know the university they were going to investigate. She did know what had happened there; she'd been wondering if it could be a case since reading the news and realizing how strange the suicide seemed to be. She was actually planning on going there and investigating, but then a new case had surged close to where she was, and she'd been forced to deal with it- thus, her newest wound.

"We miss you," Dean added as an afterthought. "It's just Sammy and me now."

That was something new.

Last thing Lily had known, Sam had a cute girlfriend with whom he was deeply in love with, and he was about to enter the most important stage of his career as a law student. He had retired. It made no sense for him to go back to hunting...unless something had happened.

Lily decided to answer the call.

It took her several seconds to control her raggedy breathing as she forced herself to move from the couch and towards the phone.

"Dean?"

She couldn't hide how hesitant she sounded, which only made her older brother more uncomfortable, she could hear it on his voice as he continued:

"Are you gonna to join us?" Dean wanted to know. There were no questions about her well-being, there were no questions about her location, no questions about anything involving the years they'd been separated. That was the older brother she remembered, the brother that was never good at properly expressing his emotions, the brother that refused to do anything remotely close to a chick-flick moment.

That was the Dean she loved.

More at ease now, Lily rested back against one of the walls.

She was glad he had not asked questions about her life- she did not know how to explain how utterly boring and normal her life was- as normal as the life of a hunter could be.

A sudden thought crossed her mind, making her frown.

"Will our father be joining us?" Lily demanded. "Because if he is, I'd rather stay here."

There was a long silence on the other side of the line.

Then: "Lily- our father died."

The news was so unexpected that the young woman didn't know how to react for a long time. She felt herself spiral into a thousand different emotions- no matter how much they constantly fought, how much she disliked how he'd raised them, he was her father.

The only thing that managed to come out of her mouth was a soft, incredulous: "How?"

"We tried to call you when it happened," Dean continued, not answering her question. "When we couldn't reach you, Bobby said he'd tell you."

Truthfully, the relationship between Lily and John Winchester had always been a complicated one. The old hunter used to say that she reminded him of her mother, which would've been a compliment in another situation, but to which he never acted like it was a good thing. Ever since being young, she had taken it upon herself to protect her brothers, to be the feminine figure they never had- to be their mother, even when she was only the middle child.

She could never forgive the way that John had made their lives miserable as they grew up. How he had never acted towards them with much love; he'd always been absent, hunting, leaving them behind to fend for themselves.

The most he had ever done for them was train them to be hunters, like he was, and that hadn't been an act of kindness- all he ever wanted was to get revenge on the demon that had killed Mary Winchester, and turning his children into hunters only amplified the possibilities of achieving said revenge.

In general, she could never forgive him for destroying her- and her brothers'- childhood.

However... It did not matter how much grudge she still held over her father, how frustrated he made her feel; he was her father and she had loved him.

All she could manage to say was: "Well, he didn't."

She didn't know what to believe.

Her father was dead.

No one had deemed it important to tell her of his death.

Not her brothers, not Bobby, no one.

It made no sense.

Sam and Dean should have tried to find her in person if they couldn't reach her on the phone. She deserved to know when things like that happened; just because she was away it didn't mean that she was no longer their family.

She was a Winchester, she was John's daughter.

The fact that it was only in that moment that she found about the death of her father made her believe that, from the very beginning, they didn't want her to know about that particular event.

Lily forced herself to push those thoughts away. There were more important things to concentrate upon; no matter how hurt she was by that discovery, she had to concentrate on the other parts.

"What happened to our father?" The words came our harsher than she'd intended them to. Her real question being clear for both parts: What sort of monster was powerful enough to destroy him?

There was clear hesitation on Dean's voice when he responded: "Our father died to protect us."

A snort came out of Lily's mouth. "I would've thought he died because of his obsession with the yellow-eyed demon."

Dean's silence made her frown. Before she could express her doubts, he continued, "We had an accident. We were in the hospital, I was about to bite it- but then dad summoned the yellow-eyed demon and made a deal with it. His life in exchange for mine."

"I see," Lily said, though in fact, she did not see how that could've been possible. Her father was not one known for making selfless actions. He'd never done anything good for them, it was always about himself. She pushed her doubts aside, wondering if perhaps she had underestimated him. "I'm glad you're alive, Dean."

The sincerity on her voice softened the conversation, making the tension between both ends of the line dissipate.

"How's Sam?"

Dean chuckled before answering. "Currently drooling on his sleep as we talk. Dude's fine."

It was a short answer, one that didn't please nor appease Lily's concern, but it was all she would get through the phone. She knew that to get all the answers she desired, she would have to be in person with them.

"We'll be in campus in a few hours..." Dean broke the silence surrounding both lines of the phone. The offer was still clear on his voice, though he made no attempt to ask her again.

"I already made some research," Lily cleared her throat, choosing to focus on that rather than the other parts of their conversation. "Besides, I know Crawford Hall like I know the back of my hand, Caleb works there."

Dean's tone turned lighter, as though her words relieved him. "So, you're coming?"

It took her a moment to decide.

It had been ages since she'd hunted with them, and truthfully, she missed their dynamic as a group.

Part of her wondered if they'd changed their tactics now that John wasn't there to observe their moves, but disregarded that thought. After all, their father never had any complaints about their hunting methods- he only complained about Lily's.

Seeing her brothers again could be a good thing; she wanted to see them.

Lily found herself nodding softly, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Yeah, I'll be there."

The probability of running into Caleb was extremely high- last she knew, he was still working at Crawford Hall- but it was a risk she was willing to take if it meant being reunited with her brothers once again.

She had missed them too much.

"Perfect!" Dean sounded cheerful, and Lily pictured his brilliant smile. With a pang of melancholy, she realized how much she had actually missed him. His smile always made her smile, even when it was a forced one. He'd been her protector since forever- hers and Sammy's- and, as a product of that, knowing her brother was happy made her feel safe; as if the whole world would be all right as long as Dean Winchester smiled. "Are you close?"

"Um, I'm two hours away from Springfield. But I have something to take care of- so I'll be there by tomorrow morning."

Since the young woman had already been considering taking that case even before her brother called, she'd already packed everything she needed for the trip- however, she needed to rest and to make sure her wound was completely healed before heading out towards another town- the least she wanted was to bleed out on the road.

After planning to meet by a local coffee shop close to Crawford Hall- where the "suicide" had taken place- they ended the call.

Lily stood there, in the middle of her apartment, holding the house-phone between her hands.

Her thoughts were abruptly cut short when a piercing shot of pain coursed through he whole body, settling on her exhausted limbs and on her wounded stomach.

Her lips breathed out a tired sigh.

It wouldn't be long before she would collapse, she really needed to sleep and rest her exhausted body. It had been weeks since she'd had hunting job that wasn't about vengative ghosts; she'd almost grown used to the easy stuff- she'd almost gotten herself killed by refusing to train and practice how to destroy other dangerous creatures.

The monster she fought had defended itself rather passionately, though she wasn't sure if their fight had been hard because she had grown used to simply exorcising demons and burning bones of ghosts, or if it had been hard because she as simply weak.

John would've told her that she was weak.

That's what he constantly reminder her- that she was weak-, so that's what Lily had grown to believe.

Haunted by the memories that threatened to overcome her senses, she moved towards the kitchen, where she instantly poured herself a glass of vodka.

It was her defense mechanism- she learned that alcohol could heal almost every kind of pain.

That time, however, she relished in the soothing burn that settled over the place where the monster's claw had pierced her skin.

Almost too soon, her thoughts went back to her brother's words.

We miss you.

But if that was true, why hadn't they bothered to call before?

A startling realization came to her- she hadn't called them either.

Truthfully, both parts were to blame for the lack of contact between one another.

Sighing deeply, she drowned her glass and moved away from the kitchen.

It was better if she didn't dwell on those thoughts. Her family was always a sore topic for her, it always made her want to run from their never-ending problems and their fights.

Sam and Dean had always been more closer to each other than they had ever been to her, though it had been John's fault at the beginning, now she fervently believed that the was nothing she could do to successfully integrate herself into their dynamics...there was nothing she could do to get closer to them. They were no longer the teenagers that could bond over stupid things, they were men with diverse interests and diverse thoughts about the world.

Thoughts that were probably very different from Lily's own beliefs.

Shoot first, ask questions later. That was Dean's motto. It had also been John's.

Lily had her own personal motto: Ask first, shoot later. For she never wanted to kill something- or someone- innocent. It was better to ask and consider the situation before attacking.

John mocked her thoughts, telling her that that way of thinking would get her killed- but he was dead, and she was still alive, so she chose to feel triumphant over that particular realization.

Perhaps her father wasn't right about everything.

Sam was a mixture of both- sometimes, he would shoot without hesitation, but other times, he would listen first and then choose if he wanted to believe a monster's excuses.

The only thing the three of them had in common was their desire of saving people. It was a far-stretched thought, but perhaps they could bond over that.

That was the only thing she found herself looking forwards for the next day: Restoring what she'd accidentally broken when she decided to leave their side.

Perhaps there could still be hope for them.

Perhaps her brothers could still see her as the woman that had, quite literally, raised them. She had always been the middle point, being exactly two years younger than Dean, and two older than Sam.

When her big brother needed her, she was there. And when their younger brother needed them, Lily and Dean were always there for him, but they were there together. It had always been like that.

It wasn't always easy, considering their life story: their mother had died back when they were just kids. She could still remember the sleepless nights when she had to crawl into John's bed, alongside Dean, because of redundant nightmares about the horrible demon-made fire that consumed their home and that took their mother. Back then, their father had been too full of grief to be able to do something else that was not comfort them. He'd cared about them, he'd loved them, he'd been there for them.

But then he was hit with the powerful desire of revenge, and everything changed.

He started leaving them alone, going out for hunts, and Dean had taken it upon himself to protect them, to be their rock, to raise them.

When Lily was old enough to comprehend what was happening, to comprehend how hard her older brother had it by taking care of them when he was basically still a child himself, she took it upon herself to help him. In that way, Dean had been able to rely on her when his patience run short, or when things got too difficult or painful for him to deal on his own. She had his back.

And together, they raised and protected Sam.

When John disappeared for weeks, it fell upon Dean's and Lily's shoulders to look out for their little brother. Then, when their father would agree to take Dean out for a hunt, but not them, since they were younger, they stayed together and were there for each other, which made the situation easier for everyone. It only got a little harder when John also started taking Lily out for hunts, leaving the youngest boy, Sam, alone.

The point was: she had always been there for both parts.

But years had passed, years in which she had not been there for them, in which she had not been an active part of their lives.

She couldn't help but to feel like the shittiest person on the whole planet.

...

Springfield's University had been Caleb's favorite college to work at since he discovered how safe its environments were. It was, as the young man often mentioned, one of the safest campus in all of the United States of America, if one didn't take in consideration the alarming rates of sexual assaults that plagued its walls. Personally, he never cared much about the students, he only cared about his job. Everything could fall to pieces for all he cared- as long as his job was secured, nothing else mattered.

That's how Lily knew he would be somewhere around Crawford Hall, desperately seeking ways for people to ignore the tragedy that had just happened days before that moment.

If people gave it much thought, they'd start to see all the other horrible things happening on campus, and the student's population could drop considerably- meaning, Caleb could lose his job.

Her brothers weren't in Crawford Hall when she arrived, which made her think that they were probably having breakfast at a local cafeteria, or sleeping on their motel rooms- it still relatively early, so she didn't worry much about their lack of presence.

Instead, she walked around campus, exploring its walls and- using one of her fake FBI badges- interrogating possible witnesses about the professor's alleged suicide.

Lots of people seemed to believe the pointless rumors about a haunted room- room 669, the last digit turned upside down being 666- but Lily cataloged it as a load of bullshit.

There had only been one witness: a janitor.

No one could say exactly who it had been- the whole campus was full of janitors-, which made the young hunter extremely nervous. It could be her ex-fiancé for all she knew.

God, she hoped it wasn't Caleb who found that professor.

Interrogating him would be as tedious as hearing another student talk about the room 669.

She really didn't want to see him.

Around mid-afternoon, she was making her way towards a local cafeteria to get lunch when she caught a glimpse of her brothers in the distance, bickering as usual while they moved towards the Impala.

Excitement coursed through her veins, which quickly mixed with nervousness, and she found herself frozen on her spot, just watching them.

Then, as Sam opened the passenger's door of the car, she seemed to react.

She shouted: "Sam! Dean!"

They turned and saw each other, on different ends of the street.

Sam's face brightened with a smile. He closed the door and quickly approached her side, and, before anything else could be done or said, he grabbed her and enveloped her into a tight hug.

She giggled and happily returned the hug, her concerns dying away as her brother's warm embrace made everything better.

"Fucking hell, Sam. Every time I see you you get taller." She wanted to say something better, something more meaningful, but the words died on her throat. "And your hair, Jesus, it's so long."

Dean snickered at the gigantic eye-roll Sam did at those words. He pushed past him, and for a small second, Lily was conscious of the fact that her brother was examining everything about her; doing exactly what she was doing, trying to see how much about her had changed.

Then he drew her into one of his bear-hugs, and everything else melted away.

Her doubts, her anger, her concern, her bitterness. Everything about the previous night and their conversation burned away, leaving space only to the comfort that being with her brothers always offered her. All she could concentrate upon was their presence there with her, and how happy they seemed to see her.

They were happy to see her!

When they separated, Lily sighed contentedly, and smiled. "My boys. It's so good to see you."

Sam had eyes only to her, his young face bright with delight. "I'm surprised to see you here," He added after a small pause, "Dean never mentioned you had accepted our offer."

"It was a surprise," Dean waved away the raised eyebrows his sister sent him, and smirked. "Surprise, Sammy."

Lily attempted to hide an amused snort, then thought about how to answer to that statement. She found herself shrugging as she tried to find the right words.

At last, she said: "I'm surprised to be here, too. But I'm glad I am, I missed you guys."

"So-" Dean, always the hater of chick-flick moments, interrupted the sweet response that Sam had in mind. Both younger siblings rolled their eyes almost in complete sync, then he continued. "What d'you got?"

"Well," Lily was down to business now. They stared to walk together towards the Impala, which the young woman took as an invitation to accompany them to wherever they were headed. "Some students seem to believe a local legend about a haunted room- but it's basically bullshit."

"Tell us about it on our way." Dean knew that no matter how fake a superstition could seem, sometimes they were, in fact, the real deal.

Sam added for her benefit, "We're gonna to get lunch."

Dean rolled his eyes before she could open her mouth, "Yes, Lily. You are included when we say we're gonna get lunch. Just get in the car. I'm hungry."

The young woman and her younger brother hesitated before the woman blurted out a: "Shotgun!" before he could even open his mouth, which, at the end, made him groan in defeat as he moved towards the backseat of the car.

Dean raised his eyebrows at them, surprised at how easy it had been to restore their never-ending fight for who sat on the passenger's seat.

It was good to know some things hadn't changed.

"So, here's the thing-" Lily cleared her throat, looking down at the paper she'd used to write things down to remember as part of her FBI disguise. "Apparently, this woman was having an affair with a professor thirty years ago, when he broke it off, she jumped out the window and killed herself. Now, if it didn't sound so stupid with the whole 669 room, I'd believe it."

Sam raised his eyebrows in contemplation. "That's how the professor killed himself, by jumping out the window."

"Yeah, but we don't know if he was having an affair," Dean pointed out. "Did you get the girl's name?"

"No," Lily sighed irritably. "No one knows her name. Like I said, it's probably just a load of bullshit. Urban legend that's actually a legend and not more. Besides, that room doesn't exist- the building only has four stories."

Sam and Dean made grimaces of contemplation. "Maybe it is just a suicide."

"I don't know," Lily was being sincere as she said so. She hadn't been able to get much information before she found them. "Maybe. We'll just have to check his room for any signs of EMF-"

"Do you think your boyfriend could let us enter the room without making much fuss over it?" Dean interrupted her, glancing at her before looking back at the road. "I left my fake badges back at the motel room."

"No wonder there," Sam said snidely. "You forget everything."

"Forgive me," Dean stressed sarcastically, "For not being as obsessive as you-"

And just like that, they were bickering.

Sam expressed his annoyance at Dean having to delay their trip to campus because he'd been hungry.

Dean expressed his annoyance at Sam for not being hungry and for wanting things done his way.

Sam complained about his snores. When had they even entered the topic of their sleeping habits?

Dean complained about Sam complaining about his sleeping habits.

At first it was an amusing sight- something Lily was used to, for there had always been all sorts of prank wars and playful bickering between them; but then all playfulness died away, their words being laced with several signs of real irritation and annoyance.

"Boys?" Lily interrupted quietly. They stopped instantly, and she felt their eyes on her. She raised her eyebrows, then gestured around in general. "What the hell is wrong with you two?"

They seemed to realize they had gotten a little carried away with one another, and shame overcame their senses.

They'd forgotten how much she hated to see them bickering. Since she was little, she would always step in the middle of their fights and end them, claiming that it destroyed her to see them like that.

They sensed that their constant fights- not just between each other, but with John too- had been what drove her to run away from them.

"It's nothing," Sam quickly tried to fix the situation, forcing a smile into his face. The least he wanted was for her to go away again. "We're just a little tired, that's all."

"Yeah," Dean caught what he was trying to do, and continued. "We've just been..." He sighed, "We've been on the road for too long. Tight quarters, all that."

Sam ended with a soft: "Don't worry about it, Lily."

She sensed that it was more deep that then were making it seem, but decided to let it pass. She loathed interfering on their problems with one another, so she sought something to break the tension with.

At last, a thought came to her, and she smirked before looking out of the window and staring at the moving landscape.

"You two should get a divorce."

Dean made an exasperated sound. "You see, we're like Siamese twins, there's no divorce for us."

Sam groaned irritably. "It's conjoined twins," He said it like it was something he had already tried to explain his brother before.

The blonde man looked to the side and met his sister's eyes. "See what I mean?"

This time it was Lily who rolled her eyes. "Idiots."

"Bitch," Dean shot back, not missing a beat.

Sam smacked the back of Dean's head, which was probably dangerous considering he was driving, and called him a "Jerk," for insulting their sister.

For a small moment, the three of them bore identical smiles of secrecy. It had been ages since Lily had been part of their nickname game, and the moment felt too precious to be broken.

It was a little silly and juvenile, but it meant something to them.

They reached the local cafeteria, a place where the young woman had eaten many breakfast and lunches at, back when she still lived with her ex-fiancé. It was nice and cheap, so she figured her brothers would like the place.

They exited the Impala after a short conversation about food- Dean hoped there would be pie; Sam primordially wanted coffee.

Lily smiled as she guided them towards the doors, happily greeting the familiar waitress that guided them to one of the empty tables and offered them the menu.

Once they were settled there, the waitress took their orders- Lily was surprised Dean was still so strong and well-built considering he ate the greasiest, most unhealthy food on the menu.

"Anyways," Lily pursed her lips. Her brothers turned to her, ready to discuss the situation again. "Caleb won't let us into the room." It was a lie, he probably would if she asked him, but she did not want to ask him. "But you two don't have to dress up as FBI to enter the room, I have a better idea."

Sam leaned towards her, interested. "What do you have in mind, sis?"

Lily was full-on grinning now, which made a distant memory echo though Dean's mind. He seemed to realize what her idea consisted of, and groaned loudly. "No, Lily."

She pouted at him. "Oh, come on, don't spoil the fun."

Sam looked between the both of them, feeling excluded as he didn't know what they were thinking about. "Wait, why won't Caleb let us into the room?"

"We broke up years ago," Lily blurted out. "So, yeah. Might be better not to ask him."

Dean was full-on grinning, like she used to be moments before, and muttered a soft: "Pity," that lacked the very definition of the word and the emotion.

Sam hid his smirk behind his cup of coffee.

"Anyhow," Lily pressed on, not wanting to discuss her love life with her brothers, who had never liked any of her partners before. "If you don't want to go with my plan," She was looking at Dean now, "Then what do you suggest?"

She didn't dare play the part of a FBI officer again. It had been a week since the incident happened, and that morning she had been the only "officer" around asking questions- the real officers seemed happy to believe it had been a suicide and nothing more.

Besides, there were about other million ways they could approach the situation- as a couple of journalists wanting to report the suicide on the news, as nosey people, etc, etc.

She wanted to play by their rules, though, to see how they would approach the situation and to be part of their schemes.

They always made their job more entertaining that she did- she was usually all down to business and nothing more. Sam and Dean tended to fully involve themselves with the case and its victims.

"I heard the professor's family was religious, prepared a whole bunch of crap for his funeral," Dean shrugged. "Perhaps you could play dress up and distract them while Sammy and I snoop around his office." He always loved seeing his sister dressed as a nun, it was hilarious.

"Okay, first of all," Sam raised his eyebrows. "There can't be a nun at the scene because suicide is seen as a sin in most religions, and-"

Dean was rolling his eyes bluntly at him now. "Do you have to blow a hole in all of our plans?"

Lily decided to interrupt them before Sam could make one of his usual retorts to Dean's words.

"So, I'll be a nun-" She actually thought about it. "You two could pretend to be electricians, that way there would be no need for snooping around. Any janitor would let you enter the room if you're working on maintenance for it."

Sam's head snapped to the side to meet her gaze. "Seriously? You'll play dress-up?" He was trying to hide a smile- he, too, found it immensely hilarious when she dressed as a nun.

Lily shrugged. "I like it more than pretending to be an electrician. I don't know shit about that. And, besides, Sam is right, but in all honesty, I'm tired of pretending to be FBI, people tend to keep asking why the FBI would be interested in a suicide case, which is hard to answer."

Her brothers focused on the least important part of her words, as they usually did. They had that incredible talent of concentrating on other things when she talked.

Sam snickered quietly. "Imagine Caleb's face if he sees you like that."

Dean snorted, eyes crinkling in amusement.

Lily found herself unable not to roll her eyes, though she was betrayed by the amused smirk that cornered her lips.

In that exact moment, the waitress came with their food, smiling politely at them.

"Thank you, love," She told the waitress as she placed her order in front of her, a brilliant smile on her face.

Dean made several sounds of disapproval, which made his younger sister raise her eyebrows at him. "No flirting, young lady. You're a woman of God."

Sam choked a laugh as he took a bite of his meal. "Never thought I'd see the day where my biggest dream would come true: our dear sister Lily, on the right path to salvation-"

"-and happily pried from the chance of being romantically and sexuality involved with anyone," Dean finished for Sam, a content sound slipping from his throat as he savored the greasy hamburger in front of him. He smirked at Lily, then moved to clink his glass with Sam's. "Cheers for that."

Lily was looking at the waitress when they said that, but then she turned to them with a small smirk upon her lips. "Oh, boys. My flesh is too weak to be not uninvolved with anyone." And to make her point go through, she winked at the waitress- who kept finding ways of looking back at her- and relished on the blush that covered her cheeks.

Dean grimaced. "That's definitely not what I wanted you to say."

Sam looked equally traumatized. "Me neither."

Lily gave them a playful smile, tilting her head to the side as she innocently muttered a, "Sorry?"

It was easy to be around them, to pretend they had never been apart at all.

All of her doubts were dissipating as if made of thin air, replaced by a feeling of contempt that she had not felt in a long time.

They seemed to be just as comfortable in her presence as she was in theirs, which only made her feel happier about the whole ordeal.

Perhaps she'd worried too much about the lack of communication they had those years she was away.

Perhaps nothing was wrong.

She wasn't sure about anything, but she hoped to be right in her assumptions. Being with her family again felt better than anything else in the world ever had- she didn't want to lose that feeling again so soon after regaining it.

Something about her brothers' soft smiles made her think that they had missed her as much as she had missed them, and that they were equally happy to have her with them as she was of being there.

Had John been there, he would've never smiled at her in such a way- he wouldn't have talked to her, at all, unless she apologized.

And she was not going to apologize for choosing herself over his insane plans of revenge. Perhaps it had been a selfish decision, but she had been finally free after leaving them. Their fights and their never-ending problems had weighed her too much, eventually making it hard for her to be around them, to breathe their same air, to be aware of the tension that practically lived in the air around them.

Sam and Dean she could tolerate- somehow their fights were never that serious. The bond that both shared never let them be annoyed at each other for longer than a week.

It was John who had always been Lily's dipping point- it had been her father who had pushed her over the edge, destroying the little happiness she had allowed into her young life. His fights were the most horrible ones, his drunken stupor making him both disgustingly cold and harsh towards his middle child.

So she had done the only reasonable thing at the moment: she had chosen herself.

She had decided that it was enough, that she had enough of their fights, that she had had enough of her father treating her like garbage.

She had abandoned them, in a way, and she would never forgive herself for that. But she had also freed herself, she had found peace within herself and within the world- peace she could never find by their side.

Perhaps that was her greatest sin: choosing herself over her own family.

That was her only regret- not being there for them when they needed her.

"Hey," Sam nudged her gently. "You okay?"

"I just-" Lily stopped herself. There were so many things she wanted to say. Her doubts came back with full-force, leaving her breathless for a moment.

Her brothers seemed to know.

Sam looked at her attentively, tilting his head to the side in contemplation; there was only kindness on his eyes.

Dean stared at her, a small scowl upon his forehead, as though he could not understand the way her sister thought; his eyes were guarded, as they usually were.

Her brothers seemed to know. But they made no motion to encourage her to continue speaking- it was only then that she realized that she wasn't the only one that didn't know what to do with their situation. Sam and Dean were lost, too. Neither of them knew how to test their situation, what to make of it. They didn't know if there had to be actual words to settle their complicated relationship- or to be more precise, the lack of contact they'd had over the years.

Lily leaned towards them a little, hesitating as she started to speak. "I know that sorry is just a word against a million actions, but I need you two to know that I am sorry for abandoning you two when things got difficult." The young green-eyed woman had never been good at verbally expressing her emotions, each word seemed to weigh her and to make her feel stupid- there were really just no words that could completely explain how terrible she felt for her previous actions. "I just hope I can make it up to you two, in any way."

"Lily-" Sam sighed, shaking his head.

"Listen," Dean started, sighing heavily. "There's nothing to apologize for, Lily."

"No. I chose myself over you two."

Her statement made them froze, both brothers looking devastated after those words and after the way her voice broke as she said it.

She was desperate to make them see her point, she was desperate for them to stop looking at her as though she hadn't hurt them when she abandoned them.

For all of their lives, she had been the only one in their family that both of them could trust and rely on when they couldn't rely on each other. She had raised Sam along with Dean, who had, respectively, raised both of them. She couldn't begin to imagine how they must've felt once she left.

She continued after a small pause: "I chose myself over my own family. And I will never be able to forgive myself for that."

Sam shook his head, looking away.

"Lily," Dean's voice was soft, all previous traces of his devastation long gone. "We forgive you."

"We never blamed you," Sam exploded, making both siblings startled. The youngest Winchester cleared his throat, looking startled by his own outburst, then sought out more words to properly explain himself. "We know what dad was doing to you, we know how he treated you."

Lily looked away at those words, an uncomfortable lump settling on her throat.

Dean took it upon himself to continue. "We know why you disappeared, okay? We know you needed time to yourself, you needed a life. We can't blame you for wanting that."

Sam offered her a kind smile, taking one of her hands between his own and squeezing gently. "I literally cannot blame you. You know I abandoned Dean and dad to go to college?"

"You wanted a normal life," Lily shook her head, trying to pinpoint how different their situations were. "I just wanted to be away from him."

She never meant to lose contact with them, it had just happened.

At her words, something crossed Sam and Dean's eyes almost simultaneously. She'd forgotten how freaking similar they could be sometimes. It was there, the shadow of doubt, but for once, she couldn't understand what about her statement had confused them.

"So you've been hunting all these years?" Dean frowned. He shared another look with Sam, something passing through them. "We thought you had settled. Bobby told us you had a house."

"No, I have an apartment," Lily stressed, deciding to leave her argument behind; their initial topic had changed for a reason, perhaps it was for the best. "I crashed some days at Caleb's house, from time to time, but I never actually moved there."

"You were hunting?" Dean repeated, as though her answer could be important.

Her answer was a tight nod, not understanding why it was so important for him to know that.

Sam took her by surprise by saying: "W-we thought you had a normal life."

"I'm a Winchester. A hunter." She shrugged with her whole body, from her shoulders to her hands to her head, which she tilted to the side. "There's no normal for us."

"What-" Sam pursed his lips. His voice was soft, which meant he wanted to ask something personal or important. She gave him her utmost attention, nodding slightly at him to continue. "What happened with Caleb?"

As far as Sam and Dean knew- as far as Bobby had told them- Lily had retired.

To know that she had never had that, to know that she'd been hunting, out of all the things she could've been doing, was a very startling discovery. None of them knew what to make of it.

They would've felt better if they knew that their absence from her life had a meaning- had she been happy and with a chance at a normal life, they would've never dared to approach her again, fearing to taint her good luck. But now that they knew that she had never been seeking a normal life, they felt horrible for never reaching out to her.

Lily hesitated before leaning back against the chair, looking down at her plate. She took a few seconds to find the right words to explain her failed relationship with Caleb, then managed to come out with: "We just didn't work out."

"What happened?" Dean inquired, looking concerned. He knew, better than anyone else, that there were a million things that could go wrong when a hunter tried to live a normal life.

"Caleb is a good man," Lily thought that she needed to make that clear. "We just weren't made for each other. He wanted to have things that I cannot- that I could not, at the time- give him."

The young man wanted a family; he wanted a big house with a grandiose garden, he wanted to have dogs and cats, and maybe even parrots- he loved those birds- and beyond all, he wanted kids.

He wanted unconditional love, he wanted stability.

He wanted normality, he wanted a safe environment to grow old in, he wanted a long, safe, and normal life.

Lily Winchester could never give him any of that.

She could never be the housewife that he expected her to be. (She was no domestic woman, she barely knew how to boil water) She could never have children of her own to raise and care about, (the fear of demons and monsters appearing to harm them would be unbearable.)

There were too many threats in the way- as a hunter, she had too many enemies to be able to form a normal and safe family.

Hell, she couldn't even form a healthy, stable relationship.

It had been more of a long-distance relationship, now that she came to think about it. She used to spend a couple of days on his house, then a job would come out and she'd spend days- it not weeks- on the road.

That hadn't been fair to him.

She tried to give him what he wanted; she tried to leave the hunting life behind and settle with him (that's how much she had loved him), but everything had backfired horribly.

"Were you-" Sam hesitated, wondering how he could ask politely. His initial thought was Jess- it always was when it came to troubles in the hunter's attempt at a normal life. "Was there an attack?"

The young woman shook her head, relieved that there had been no attacks directed to her former lover. "No. We simply came to a mutual agreement. We were never going to work out and we knew it. The wedding was canceled, the relationship ended, etc, etc, etc." She shrugged unaffectedly. "That was four years ago. I've been on the road ever since."

There was a small pause between them.

The oldest of them concentrated on his food, taking his time to savor the bite he took off it, while trying to find something to say to that at the same time.

He could see that it didn't bother her anymore, but that doesn't mean that it hadn't pained her when it happened.

He knew how much she used to love her ex. The fact that she had accepted to his marriage proposal showed how deep her love was. (When she was little, she claimed that she was never getting married. It had mainly been Bobby's fault: he mentioned how many couples he'd seen fall out of love and live a miserable life together, which had frightened her. Needless to say, Dean and John had been happy to know she would never get married. She was the middle child, but she was also the only girl in their family.)

A different thought came to Dean, "You've been alone ever since?"

It wasn't meant to sound like a concerned or pitiful statement, yet that was exactly how it sounded.

It was probably how it looked like, too.

A young woman, running away from her family at every little inconvenience that came her way, failing at every romantic relationship she had, consequently meaning that she was alone.

They knew how the hunter life was; it was monotone, repetitive, consuming.

Sam and Dean were sure that- despite how frustrating it was to be around each other all the time- they could only stand it because they were together, they had each other to keep one another entertained.

Lily had been alone.

How boring and monotone it must've been.

How unbearable.

They didn't like feeling in that way, but all they could feel towards her in that moment was sympathy.

Deep down, there was also guilt. An immense amount of it.

Had they been a little less hard on each other, she would have not had the need to leave.

When the Winchester boys looked at their sister, they saw that her defenses were up, which was not an unusual sight, for she had the tendency of getting defensive when people poked at her feelings.

"I hunt alone. Team work doesn't do me any good. Most hunters out there don't know half the things that we do." She paused, then allowed herself to say a more modest statement, "Dad made some mistakes, but he did a good job training us."

That was something no one could deny. John Winchester had trained them particularly well. It had kept them alive through countless monsters, through countless unpleasant encounters with other hunters.

Dean seemed to accept her answer, briefly looking down at his plate as he momentarily wondered if there had been pie on the menu.

Meanwhile, Sam nodded in agreement to Lily's words, looking thoughtful.

"Sometimes I crash at Bobby's for a while," Lily added as an afterthought, knowing that her brothers would feel more at ease after knowing that. "We hunt together, when Rufus ain't available."

"Who?" Sam and Dean inquired together, to then give each other looks of surprise.

Lily grimaced. "God, you two have to stop talking at the same time or I'm going to barf." She ignored their eye-roll, and continued: "Rufus is a fellow hunter. Bobby's sort of friend."

Dean raised his eyebrows at her choice of words, then shrugged, for he knew very well how their fellow hunter and father figure treated others.

"An acquaintance, you mean," Sam tried to correct her.

She shook her head. "He's more than that, though you two wouldn't understand." And when their looks got too curious and pushing, she ended up saying a gentle, "He's the hunter that helped Bobby when his wife was possessed."

Understanding flashed through their faces.

Like their father, Bobby Singer had chosen to hunt after his wife died tragically at the hands of a demon.

"Right."

"And you hunt with them? You're, what, like a team?" Dean scowled, his words full of snark. Part of him would always feel bitter that she had left them to hunt on her own. He understood her reasons, but he wasn't completely okay with the whole thing, not like he claimed he was. They used to be a team, the three of them- four if they counted John- and then she had ditched them and chosen other people?

"Yes," Lily returned sarcastically, "Do you want to join? You have to be really freaking grumpy to enter."

Dean gave her a bitch-face that could've rivaled Sam's.

Sam snorted. "Yeah, I can see you being part of that club."

The young woman flashed him a smile. "Sometimes I need my doze of grumpiness." She started to smile, thinking of all the times the old hunter had yelled at her over the smallest of things. "And Bobby needs actual care that doesn't involve fast-food and cheap beers."

At once, her brothers widened their eyes, a look of panic surging through their eyes. At first, she thought it was because of her mention of alcohol, but she was proved wrong when her brothers inquired about the other thing she had mentioned.

"You don't know how to cook," Dean reminded her, raising his eyebrows in bewilderment.

At the same time, Sam had asked: "Since when do you cook?"

And then both brothers shared a look.

The last- and also the first- time Lily had tried to cook- (she had had no choice, their father had left them without any means of actually getting food, and Dean couldn't afford to get caught stealing again)-, what she made had been as hard as a rock and had tasted so horrible that none of them could dare to take a second bite.

The most that she could do was a delicious bowl of cereal and milk for breakfast, and, now that they came to think about it, glasses of water. The rest was, quite literally, impossible for her to cook or prepare, unless her main goal was to get frustrated and to die of intoxication.

They were startled, wondering if in the time they'd been apart she'd finally learned to cook. It seemed like a far-stretched thought, but considering the amount of time that had passed, they couldn't be sure.

Their sister fought against a smirk, looking down briefly before looking up at them again. She knew what they were thinking about; it was impossible to miss the frightened and dreadful look that crossed their eyes. Instead of being offended, she could only feel amused.

"I don't," She said, shrugging unabashedly, her blonde curls bouncing along with her movements, which made her move a hand to push a bothersome strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Bobby does. I force him to when I'm at his place."

"Oh, thank God," Dean breathed in relief, leaning back on his chair, relief flashing through his young face.

Sam continued, not missing a beat, "We were worried you'd been poisoning Bobby all this time."

At their amused looks and their stupid little smirks, the young green-eyed woman found herself unable to do anything else but stare at them, taking in how beautiful her brothers were: Dean, with his familiar apple-green eyes, with his contagious grin, with his broad shoulders covered in one of their father's old jackets. Sam, with his sweet- yet dorky- smile, his long hair, his bright eyes.

Things weren't perfect, that much Lily was perfectly aware of.

Things could never be perfect between them, not after the things they had done to each other through the years.

However, as long as her brothers were safe, as long as they kept holding into that brilliant light that they possessed, Lily was completely positive that things could get better between one another.

Lily knew that Dean would do anything to ensure that Sam was safe, even if it meant damaging the whole world.

In that same way, she knew that Sammy would never let anything remotely bad happen to Dean.

She didn't know what would happen next- she didn't know what would happen once the job was done and they'd go their respective ways. She just knew that they would be fine- that she would be fine. Hell, things between them could get better, they could fix what had been damaged about their relationship.

They were family, after all.

And the Winchesters' only weakness- and their greatest strength- was their unconditional, almost obsessive, love and devotion to those that they considered family.

"There's only one thing I'll never forgive you for," Dean suddenly spoke, gaining Sam's and Lily's attention instantly with his words.

She swallowed thickly, looking anxious for the words he would speak, her mind speeding up and trying to remember beforehand what she had done to hurt him.

Sam narrowed his eyes. Through the years, they occasionally talked about Lily- and he knew perfectly well what his older brother thought of her actions- but he had never heard Dean say such a thing; there was never the whole "I'll never forgive you," thing.

"Dean," Sam said warningly.

"No," Lily snapped, her emotions getting the best of her. She was frightened, there was no hiding that, but she wanted her brothers to be sincere with her. She gave Sam a soft look, "Let him talk. He has all the right in the world to hold something against me and I respect it."

There was a long pause between them, where Sam kept staring at Dean, who mustered the most pained look he could come up with, and directed it at his sister.

Seeing all that pain on his face was too much for Lily, and she looked away, a lump on her throat. "Dean?"

Dean then licked his lips and decided to be sincere: "You ate the last slice of pie before leaving."

A breathless chuckle left Lily's throat, her heart hammering wildly against her chest.

Her relief was so big that she didn't know what to do for a long moment, so she simply placed her hands over her face.

Sam breathed deeply and rested his neck against the chair, groaning as he waved a hand through his face. "Seriously, dude?" He had been so concerned about Dean hurting their sister that he had missed the playful look on his face.

"C'mon, man!" Dean gave Sam a hard look. "It's pie."

Lily moved her hands from her face and looked at her older brother. "I'm sorry." She placed her hands over his own, then moved her eyes towards the menu, where she caught a glimpse of the deserts section. "Perhaps I could make it up to you?"

Dean opened his mouth, a retort already at the back of his tongue, when Lily smirked and moved the menu towards him, so he could read the sign that clearly said: Best Pie in all of Springfield.

Just like that, a grin crossed his features. "You're forgiven, little sister."

"Drop the little," Lily corrected him sweetly. "Or no pie."

"You got it, sister."

Sam watched their interaction with an amused smile on his face.

And when the pie arrived, and they had a small contest to see who could eat more slices first, Sam felt at home.

...

When it was time for them to leave, they planned to meet at Crawford Hall after both parts had done their proper investigations.

Lily had to go to her motel room to change into her nun-clothes, and the boys had to speak with the manager of the professor's office to let a janitor open the room for them- which meant they needed to falsify a paper beforehand that would allow them to pass as electricians, which would take some time, considering how much they were bickering each other instead of actually doing anything.

When the young green-eyed woman entered her motel room, a loud sigh left her mouth. She rested her back against the door, just like she had the night before on her apartment, and took a few seconds to breathe deeply before moving towards the duffel bags where she kept her clothes. Her stomach still ached when she moved, but the painkillers she'd stolen from the local pharmacy were helping a little.

Then a smile amused smile cornered her lips. What she loved most of hunting was dressing up and pretending to be other people. It was usually the fun part.

She looked at the black nun-costume that she'd stolen from a convent years before, and grinned. It's showtime.

...

Twenty minutes later, Lily found herself in front of Crawford Hall, standing right where the professor had fallen and bashed his head at.

In several parts of the pavement, there could still be seen a crimson blotch- it was hard to take dried blood off the floor, that much the young hunter knew almost perfectly well.

She wondered if Caleb had been one of the janitors to try and clean the pavement, but disregarded that thought as soon as it crossed her mind. The lesser she thought about him, the better.

As a method of distracting herself from her thoughts, she took in her surroundings.

Around her, people muttered quiet sounds of agreement as the victim's family- a middle aged woman and a small boy- said a few words about how good he had been while alive.

The establishment had prepared a small memorial table by the steps. It had been filled with flowers and lighted candles, all which were surrounding the rectangular photography of the late professor.

Lily twisted a few beards from her rosary as she listened to the stories that were said about the professor.

She had hoped to hear something that might be remotely related to the unnatural world, but all that was discussed about Arthur Cox was his fame and his good manners- there was nothing remotely ill mentioned about him.

It annoyed her.

Someone that had the fame that that man had must've been arrogant, or even conceited. Hardly no one that reached that level of fame and prestige that he had achieved remained humble.

They were trying to paint him as a saint, but there was something about the whole man- about the way he was smiling in he photograph- that didn't seem remotely pure.

Predator's smile, Lily recognized after a small pause of consideration in which she stared at the photograph. It was the same familiar look that many men- older men that pursued younger girls- often bore: the same arrogant smirk, as though he had known he was handsome, and the same leer barely disguised on the eyes.

The only problem about her speculation was that no one seemed to say anything remotely related to it. They only mentioned the good things.

It was relentless.

Then, at last: "Sister Grace," Mrs. Cox's voice broke ever so slightly. "Please, could you lead us through a prayer? For his soul?"

Lily nodded, and held her hands out, an open invitation for others to join. It wasn't a necessity, but she liked it when people held hands during a collective prayer. While the others joined hands, she played with the beads on the rosary around her neck, adrenaline coursing through her body at the fear of making a mistake and having them realize that she was not an actual nun.

But praying was actually simple.

It was the one thing that she knew how to do almost perfectly- thanks to the time she studied at a private Catholic School back when John allowed them to go to school. It hadn't been a charity act, though, for the school had been haunted and her father only sent her there to protect the other students.

"Please," Mrs. Cox begged the others. "Let her speak."

Lily waited quietly for silence to reign, and once it did, she raised her voice and directed soft prayers for the professor's soul, prayers that she doubted would mean anything for those around her- only the professor's wife seemed thrilled by her presence there. The professor's colleagues and students seemed to be looking forwards for the religious part of the memorial to end.

Or perhaps they wanted the memorial to finally end- it had been quite a long and tedious reception.

Lily didn't disappoint them. She was short on her words, keeping everything light and not daring to venture further than the standard prayers for the recently dead.

Once her part was over, the professor's child said a few words- that was the most heartbreaking scene, a young boy of barely six or seven years old, proclaiming his love for his father and expressing how much he would miss him.

Then it went back to Lily for the closing statement.

"The Lord is ever forgiving," Lily said her last words, wanting nothing more than for it to end. "I'm sure that our beloved professor Arthur Cox is with Him right now."

And with that, the lazy protocol for the memorial ended. The first to leave were the other professors, then, one by one, the students started to walk away.

Lily nodded at them as they passed her by, then glanced back at the small table they had dedicated to the professor- only his wife and his son remained behind, lighting more candles for him and trying to rearrange some flowers that had fallen from their vases.

Lily saw her opportunity there, and approached the widow at once, saying a gentle: "Mrs. Cox, may I speak with you for a moment?"

She didn't expect the young boy to stare at her, but his eyes followed her very movement. Feeling uncomfortable, she shared a look with the widow, and the middle aged woman nodded a little before crouching down and whispering something on her son's ear. At last, she kissed his forehead and left him by the memorial table, then followed Lily a couple of feet away from him.

"Thank you for coming, Sister," Mrs. Cox gave her a grateful look. "I cannot say how grateful I am. I was devastated when the church told me they wouldn't send anyone."

Fuck. Lily's heart jumped, but then she forced a smile at the other woman.

"Like I said, Mrs. Cox, I believe that the Lord is ever forgiving, and everyone deserves to have proper prayers directed to their parting soul, no matter how they died."

Mrs. Cox nodded in agreement, looking relieved by those words. She couldn't stop hearing what the church had told her when she called them, that they would never send anyone to pray for his soul since he had committed a treacherous sin that could never be forgiven by God. It had been devastating for her, as a religious person, to hear that her beloved husband wouldn't find peace on the afterlife.

Lily watched carefully the other woman's movements, noticing how she seemed to be lost in thoughts, her eyes filled with tears she refused to let drop.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," She said slowly. She hesitated before continuing, knowing that he next words could make the other woman feel worse. "Forgive me for asking, Mrs. Cox, but I need to know. Was your husband acting strange before his death?"

Mrs. Cox shook her head almost violently. "No, no. He was fine. He was-" A sob got caught on her throat, and she looked away. "I just can't believe he would do something like that."

"Was he depressed? Did he have any enemies, anyone that would want him dead?" That had been extremely blunt, but the young woman was growing tired of beating around the bush. The widow was already crying, a couple more questions wouldn't harm her much.

"Arthur was a psychology professor, Sister." Mrs. Cox shook her head, as though that explained everything. "He had everything he could ever wish for: fame, family, money, the love of his students."

"Sometimes those things aren't enough," Lily muttered, more to herself than to the other woman. "I'm sorry- was there any unusual smell around him- or around the house? Like sulfur, rotten eggs, that kind of stuff?"

It was clear that her questions confused the other woman, but Lily tried to remind herself that the other woman's opinion of her wasn't important.

Mrs. Cox shook her head. "I don't understand." Desperately, she glanced back at her son, who hadn't moved one inch since they last looked back at him, and then she glanced back at the nun in front of her. "Arthur was happy the morning that it happened, and I just don't understand what made him do it."

Lily decided that her job there was done.

There was nothing about the whole situation that sounded like a case. No matter what the older woman would say about her husband being healthy, sometimes depression was like that- invisible to the eye of others. It could've been an actual suicide, for all Lily knew.

If Sam and Dean didn't find any traces of paranormal activity on his office, they would officially be done there.

Though, just in case, she was going to stick around for a few more days, to make sure that there was actually no monster lurking around Campus. She knew her brothers, and knew that they would do the same.

"I understand your pain, Mrs. Cox. If you ever need anything, or if you remember something from the day it happened-" She pulled a small card out of one of her pockets, and handed it to her. "No matter how strange it sounds, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you, Sister Grace." Mrs. Cox looked at the verge of tears again, clutching tightly the card with her number. "Can I ask one last favor from you?"

Curious, the blonde woman tilted her head to the side and carefully awaited for her to continue. "Of course."

"The office- Arthur's office," She licked her lips nervously. "I asked the church to send someone to pray there, in case his soul was trapped somewhere there from where he threw himself out of one of those windows, but they declined and I was wondering if you could-?" She let the question hang open, eyes wide with hope.

In definitive, Lily realized that Mrs. Cox had wild assumptions about the human soul and the places it could get trapped.

She had never heard of a spirit getting tied to the place they died- not when it was a suicide. Suicide created vengeful spirits (actually almost everything created vengeful spirits) and those only tied themselves to objects and people, not exactly to places. She didn't think that his soul- or his spirit- could be trapped in a tedious place like an office, but it was her one chance to check the office herself.

She trusted her brothers, but perhaps having another pair of eyes look at the scene would help.

She could see something that her brothers could've missed- they were pretty distracted bickering one another, after all.

Maybe she could find something to prove if her theory about his arrogance was correct.

"I will," She assured the older woman, forcing another smile at her. "I'll do it, Mrs. Cox."

"Thank you, thank you so much." Relief flooded through her whole self, and with one last grateful look, the widow moved towards her son, standing behind him as they watched together the picture of their lost beloved.

Lily watched them for a second, hesitated for a second, then moved towards the staircase.

Mrs. Cox was discretely watching her very move, trying to see if she would fulfill her promise.

At first, she thought it a good idea, for she could have a glimpse of the office, but then she started to doubt the idea of going up there.

For all she knew, her brothers could still be there. Knowing them, they'd burst out laughing upon seeing her in costume, which would be hard to explain to the janitor keeping an eye on them as they "fixed" the walls, for: how strange it would seem to see a couple of electricians laughing at a nun?

For all she knew, there could be nothing worth investigating there. If Sam and Dean didn't find any trace of paranormal activity there, going there would've been a complete waste of time...

A million things screamed at her not to go there, but the piercing stare of Mrs. Cox on her back forced her to move.

Annoyance surged through her body, and she pushed herself to climb up the stairs.

She was just crossing the hallway, looking at the numbers written on each door, trying to find the one that belonged to the dead professor, when she came face to face with Sam, Dean and a janitor. The four of them froze, her brothers sharing a look with one another before looking back at her.

"Gentlemen," She said before her brothers could laugh, forcing a kind smile into her face. "Hello."

The janitor returned the smile, peculiarly tilting his head to the side in contemplation as he observed her. She directed him a polite nod, then looked back at her brothers when she heard Dean choke down a snort. Though she was not looking at the janitor, she could still feel his gaze on her. It was particularly heavy, making it almost impossible to ignore.

"Hey." Dean turned red form the struggle not to laugh. Sam nudged him discretely, though the tall man did a poor job at hiding his amused grin. "What-" A breathless chuckle left his mouth, followed by his younger brother nudging his side again, "What are you doing here?"

Sam cleared his throat, giving Dean a pointed look. "What he means is, Sister, is there something we can help you with?" He ended with a forced smile that didn't really hide the fact that they knew each other beforehand.

Lily directed her view back to the janitor. "Actually," She took in his appearance as discretely as she could. He was handsome, albeit a little shorter than her brothers- still, he was taller than she was by a large amount. "I was asked to direct some prayers for the professor on his office, but I don't know where it is."

The janitor raised an eyebrow at her. "A nun accepting to pray for someone that committed suicide. Huh. How peculiar."

There was nothing accusing about his words- it sounded like an unimportant observation- yet Lily felt a small panic attack surge through her body.

From the corner of her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Sam and Dean starting to open their mouths, ready to intervene and steer the conversation away.

"Everyone deserves a chance to make peace with our Lord," The words came out of her mouth without much thought, interrupting whatever her brothers had planned to say. "No matter how they died, or who they were when alive."

The janitor stared at Lily. There was something she could not decipher about the things that crossed his eyes in that moment,- it seemed like he was, in some way, weighing her down-, but after a small pause of consideration, he shrugged. As though it that had been enough answer for him, he turned sideways, making a movement with his hand that signaled her to follow him.

"All right, Sister. Let's get you to the office."

The blonde hunter shared a look with her brothers before following the janitor, her hands twisting the rosary beads once more. "Thank you."

They walked for a little while, crossing several hallways before reaching their destination.

The janitor stopped in front of a closed door, looking for his keys to open it up.

Lily was tempted to tell him to forget it, but something made her change her mind.

When he opened it and stepped inside, she hesitated before entering the room.

The first thing she did as she moved into the room was discretely smell- but there were no traces of sulfur on the air.

Then she looked around the room, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

She moved, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't alone, and found herself in front of the recently-repaired window from which he had thrown himself. Just as she was raising a hand to touch the glass, a voice behind her startled her.

"Careful. Glass is pretty fragile right now."

Lily turned back to look at the janitor, remembering that he was there. He seemed unaffected by her presence or the fact that the owner of said office had recently thrown himself off that same window. He was leaning back against one of the columns on the walls, watching her.

"How long have you been working here?" The question slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

A small, private smile appeared on his face. "I've been mopping this floor for six years."

Lily observed him. "And during those years that you knew the professor, did he ever seem like the type of person to do something like this?"

The janitor shook his head, scoffing to himself, "The poor bastard was too self- invested to ever attempt against his own life."

The hunter looked away, settling her gaze over the window once more. "Huh."

That was twice a person said that the professor would have no reasons to kill himself.

The janitor spoke again: "Well, it appears I was wrong about my opinion of him. He threw himself out of that window-" He pointed at the window she was gazing at, and continued, moving to stand by her side. "I guess it's true what they say- we don't really know those around us."

She nodded carefully, still deep in thoughts.

It had to be a haunting, then.

Or perhaps a witch had hexed him- she'd have to look around the office or his house to look for a hex-bag.

But it was most definitely not a suicide, it couldn't be.

A new thought came to her, and she thought it reasonable to ask the janitor about it, since he worked there. Lily found herself looking to the side, searching for him, only to discover that he was already looking at her.

Lily smiled a little, a smile that he easily returned.

She'd been so immerse on her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed his close proximity. Their eyes met somewhere along their shared smile, and her heart stopped for one fraction of a second. They were mesmerizing; an alluring golden that resembled a ray of sunshine going through a glass of whiskey.

Feeling breathless for some reason, Lily found herself looking away abruptly, clearing her throat as a weak attempt at clearing her own thoughts, however unrelated both actions were.

"So," The janitor clapped his hands together. "How long have you been a religious woman?"

When people started asking questions that was her signal to leave.

"I joined the convent at fifteen-" Lily made a cross with her thumb and her pointer finger, carefully guiding it towards her forehead, then her heart, then her sides- crossing herself. "I'll make a quick prayer and then we can leave."

"Mm," The janitor muttered as she feigned to pray for the processor's soul. "No offense, but I don't know what good it will make the professor. He was already doomed."

Lily opened her eyes and turned to glance at him. "Pardon?"

"I don't mean to cast aspersions on a dead guy, but, uh..." He sounded just like he wanted to cast aspersions on a dead guy. A smirk pulled at his lips when he saw that he had caught her attention, and continued in a cheerful voice, as though he were talking of the weather: "He was already sinning before he decided to kill himself."

She tilted her head to the side, making a movement with her hand. "I told you, I believe that everyone deserves a chance at purification."

The janitor bore a thoughtful look. "Even when their sins involved pedophilia?"

Lily tried to process that question. If what the janitor was implying was true, that would mean that her previous assumption about the professor had been correct- it would mean that the predator look that she saw on his eyes in that photo was real.

She decided not to beat around the bush anymore. "What do you mean?" She needed to be completely sure.

He had been constantly smiling and looking charismatically joyful, but when he answered her, there was only seriousness on his voice and face.

"Not everyone on this campus is officially an adult, there are several students- freshmen, mind you- that are still underage. The professor never cared much about age when he brought girls up here."

It took her a moment to process those words and what it meant.

"Oh, God." Disgust overcame her senses, and in dismay she closed her eyes briefly.

The janitor grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Morality here got more ass than a toilet seat."

Some other time, that statement would've made her laugh.

That time, however, she had been a witness on how a wife had been mounting her husband's unexpected death; she had seen a son grieving his father.

She felt sick to her stomach. "He was married."

How many girls had he seduced?

How many girls- innocent, young girls- had he forced into things they didn't really want to do?

The janitor shrugged deeply. "Mr. Morality here wasn't exactly Mr. Morality." He seemed to be considering something, "You know, the night he died, he wasn't alone."

Her head snapped up to meet his gaze. "There was a woman here the night he killed himself?"

No one had mentioned the presence of someone else there.

That was a new piece of information.

"I told the cops about the young woman, but, uh, I guess they never found her."

A woman that hadn't been found. Lily was almost completely sure it was a haunting- the vengeful spirit of a girl wanting revenge on the disgusting professor. There was only one problem, and it was that the story that she'd heard about a girl committing suicide on campus involved a room that didn't exist. (Room 669) She had to investigate the whole story of the university to see if there had been any woman to die there.

Her thoughts went back to the janitor's words, and she raised his eyebrows at him.

"You're the one that found the professor."

She tried to hide the relief from her voice. Part of her had been scared of the witness being Caleb, but now that she knew it was not, a gigantic weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

The janitor shrugged. "Like I said, I told the cops about her, but it seems like they didn't want the wife to know about his infidelity." He found himself smirking in amusement, "Or perhaps they were ashamed to have lost her on the building and decided not to mention her at all."

Lily could see the police doing that.

The janitor locked eyes with her. "Do you still think some part of his soul was worth redeeming?"

Lily didn't feel worthy of answering that, not when she was literally sinning at all times, specially in that moment, pretending to be a woman of God and making prayers that didn't actually mean anything.

But the words came out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

"No-" She breathed deeply to control the anger that came with picturing the young girls that had fallen for the charm and seduction of an old, disgusting man. "Pedophiles don't deserve anything; they don't deserve any kind prayer."

The janitor tilted his head to the side. "You could almost say he got exactly what he deserved."

Lily was about to nod when she remembered who she was supposed to be, and a blush cornered her cheeks. She had made an awful portrayal of a nun that night, gossiping and being blunt about her disgust.

"I'm starting to think that the church had a good reason for not wanting to send anyone here to pray for him," That's all Lily dared to admit. She realized her job there was done, she'd gotten enough information already, and turned away from the window, looking at the door. "I should go, it's too late for me to be out here."

The janitor walked her to the door, then stayed behind to close it.

"Be careful out there, Sister." He told her as she walked away, "It's getting pretty late."

She looked back at him and smiled. He had been looking at her as he locked the door. "You too. Thanks again, for everything."

...

Her brothers were waiting for her on the parking lot. She entered the Impala without hesitation this time, and instantly they turned to look at her.

"What took you so long?" Dean demanded, then added: "No traces of EMF on the room, by the way." And almost immediately, he turned the engine on and drove away.

Lily shot him a look. "I got info. Apparently, our dear professor was a-"

"A dick," Dean interrupted her, speeding up. "We know."

"So it's most definitely a haunting," Lily continued, scowling. There had been no EMF activity on the room, but that didn't explain the woman that the janitor had mentioned, nor the rumors of a girl killing herself on campus years before. "I mean, between the woman the janitor mentioned and the stories around campus-"

This time it was Sam who interrupted her. "Get this, though, the whole room 669 thing is a load of crap."

"I told you guys that," Lily pointed out patiently. "I told you."

She was promptly ignored, as usual. She rolled her eyes and sat back on the backseat of the Impala, -which annoyed her because it made her feel like a child, she preferred being shotgun- waving a hand though her head, taking the veil off her hair and then unbuttoning several buttons of her gown.

"So, we gotta check the building's history out to see if any co-ed ganked herself there." Dean finished.

A frown cornered Lily's face. "I left my laptop on my motel room-"

"I have mine, no worries." Sam smiled at her thoughtfulness, then a thought crossed to him, and he turned back to look at her again, concern barely hidden on his eyes. "You are coming with us to our room, right?"

Dean's eyes sought her own through the rear-view mirror, needing to know her answer.

The question brought a smile to her face, and giving them a kind look, the young blonde woman nodded.