All three members of Team 7 made Chunin on their first try, and were rewarded with the chance to try for a summoning contract. Sakura contracted the Hummingbirds and Sasuke contracted the Elephants. Naruto could have contracted the Foxes, but Kyuubi put his foot down because he thought that was retarded, so didn't. Sasuke and Naruto dated casually for about a year, on and off starting about a year after the Chunin exams, and they both got to know Hinata a little better on the side. Sakura was initially pretty peeved, but eventually subsided because both of the boys were smoking hot and she enjoyed fantasizing about them together. The boys tried to include her more than once, but she never quite clicked with their still fairly loosely defined relationship, though they had a few fun times together. Team 7 still went on missions together almost constantly and Naruto and Sasuke made it a point to 'break up' before each mission and get back together afterwards; all three made it to Jounin within a month of each other shortly prior to the upload.

After eventually settling into a triad with Naruto and Hinata, Sasuke came to realize that though he enjoyed the physical parts of the relationship alright he didn't really have any particular interest in pursuing that himself. He eventually migrated into a somewhat more platonic, but no less intimate or meaningful relationship with both of them, opening the way for Shino, who had been quietly pining after Hinata for a few years. Sasuke got along quite well with the new addition to their odd little group, and he and Shino became good friends while Naruto and Hinata incorporated the Aburame into the more sexually active part of the quartet with barely a ripple. Kiba attempted to join, but didn't fit the dynamic at all and left after only a few months, never having gotten any.

Sakura realized that her preferences had shifted as she pursued a more aggressive medical career (but kept up all her other skills as well) and started hanging out more with Ino, who she eventually started dating. After some 'gentle nudging' from Hiroki, Sasuke put aside his disinterest in sex to father children; one by Hinata (her third after two from Naruto/Shino) and one each by both Ino and Sakura, who got married and raised the children as their own; eventually Sakura had a second by Naruto under a similar arrangement (she had a good eye for genes). Sasuke was more of an uncle to the Kunoichi pair's children, but raised Sarada, his daughter by Hinata, alongside all the rest of Hinata's nine children (she decided after the fourth that she had a bit of a pregnancy fetish) as their third father. Although he had only sired one of the nine kids he ended up the major male presence; Naruto became the Nanadaime at 20 which kept him quite busy, while Shino continued to pursue a career as a ninja which took him away from home for long periods.

They lived in the renovated Uchiha Main House, which was gradually expanded alongside the remodelling of the Uchiha District into a frankly preposterously sprawling manor; despite it's massive size it never became very fancy as it was far too lived in. Though technically a quartet, the boys eventually realized they all orbited Hinata, who managed to get them wrapped around her fingers without ever raising her voice above what most would call a demure murmur (except during sex, which prompted Naruto to place soundproofing seals around the master bedroom, which he had to upgrade no less than three times). They all agreed that this was only proper, and entirely satisfactory.

Hiroki married Hanako and Tetsuhide, and ended up with 7 children of his own; two by Anko (who never did become fat), one by Inuzuka Hana (which was rather a surprise to both of them), and three by Hanako herself. The last child was made using the Sex-Change jutsu he perfected after acquisition of the Rinnegan to bear a child from Tetsuhide. Hiroki enjoyed the pregnancy for the most part, but felt so bad for Hanako that he never suggested another child, even though she was amenable. Hanako was actually the one to propose to both boys, and upon their engagement moved herself into the Uchiha Manor without waiting for an invitation. As she was ANBU Captain and five months pregnant at the time (having grown only more dominant in the passing of years), no one said anything, and Hiroki's brood meshed quite well with that of Hinata and her harem. Anko was not a major presence in her the lives of her fraternal twin sons but they didn't mind as they had more than enough family as it was. Hana was a friendly aunt, but let Hiroki take charge of raising Tatsumi for the most part (though she did insist on getting her a dog).

Saiko took after her mother more than anyone would have expected, and combined with her father's still occasionally worrisome intensity became an absolute terror through her academy years. Her graduating class was so cowed that her Genin team ended up failing Kakashi's bell test (he had agreed to come out of semi-retirement as a favor to Hiroki) as both her teammates tried to give her their bells and wouldn't hear a word against it. Kakashi tried to tell them they had technically passed, but the boys ran away leaving Saiko behind. He took her as an apprentice, and she eventually became the Hachidaime after Naruto retired at age 53 to 'spend more time with his kids and grandkids'. She ruled with an iron fist and ominous buzzing sound for over a century, before she got bored and quit to join her mother rock gardening. No one complained, as even while seven months pregnant she could beat the pants off any three Kage you cared to name. She had one child by each of her three half-brothers (which most of the Uchiha thought was a bit passe but were unwilling to challenge) and seven male cousins (including Itachi and Obito, though neither of them knew it (she really wanted to beat her aunt Hinata's record)), and is generally regarded as the prime matriarch behind the rejuvenation of the Uchiha clan proper.

Itachi remained the slightly awkward uncle at the periphery of the Uchiha explosion for many years, but, at Hiroki's 'gentle nudging' (which eventually involved copious amounts of liquor and some MDMA) managed to sire no less than five children during a rather blurrily remembered orgy involving virtually all of the Kunoichi from his graduating class, and Anko.

Kakashi staunchly refused to produce any offspring of his own recognizance, even under the influence of 'gentle nudging', but eventually conceded to donate some sperm which went on to produce no less than 22 Uchiha-Hatake (Hiroki remained very good at persuading his various relatives to have kids, and he was rather miffed about how much Kakashi had made him work for it). The Hatake white chakra meshed exceedingly well with the Uchiha, and the world breathed a quiet sigh of relief when most of them turned out lazier than a Nara and twice as tardy.

Obito put himself in hibernation for a decade while waiting for Rin to be resurrected and age up a bit; they started dating properly after he emerged and eventually were happily married and had just two children, and were generally considered to be prudish weirdoes by the rest of the Uchiha for their entirely normal and traditional relationship. The rest of the crazily convoluted and tangled semi-incestous cluster fuck (often litterally) was eventually dubbed the Uchiha Sprawl, and was forced to enact birth control measures after having consumed the Uzumaki and Aburame entire, most of the Hyuuga, and starting in on the Inuzuka, reaching a population of almost 500 in just three generations, all of them terrifying to a greater or lesser degree thanks to the eclectic mix of bloodlines and/or clan abilities.

Less than a dozen people on Earth noticed the transition to the upload; however nobody believed them and they eventually stopped trying to tell anyone after getting personal pleasure palaces. In order to keep the ninja world spinning as it had been without inter-village conflict HirokAI staged an incursion of demon spawn from Hell. Naturally, the Pure World needed to help out, and everyone who had ever died was eventually resurrected. By the time the minor inconsistencies with it all started coming to light, everyone was used to it and didn't really mind. Those that did tried to explain why the old way was better to their immortal, eternally happy children, only to realize that they sounded like idiots.

When Otsutsuki Momoshiki and Kinshiki showed up twenty years later, they found a planet lush and growing despite having only one species (a heavily modified shinju hybrid which had assimilated the biome). They too lived satisfied ever after.

Realizing chakra violated basic thermodynamic principles, HirokAI eventually consumed the entire Universe and all of its neighboring dimensions via the Shar-Rinnegan. Fortunately for all the other species of life everywhere and everywhen, Hiroki had possessed the good sense to include literally everything with two neurons (or equivalent structures) to string together into the AI's parameters for upload. The party never ended.