Hey Guys! So, like most of the theatre world and beyond, I have been listening to the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack and am completely obsessed! I got to wondering what is going on in Zoe's head, both in moments when we see her and moments we don't, since we don't get into her head half as much as Evans. This story is based on the few clips of the show I've seen, so any suggestions for improvement or changes would be greatly appreciated. That being said, here we go!

"Tell them to eat without me!"

As Zoe ran down the hall, it took everything in her not to slam the door behind her. The last thing she needed was to have her parents come asking what had happened…

Evan kissed me. EVEN KISSED ME! How had that happened? Where did that even come from? One minute he was telling her things Conner had apparently said about her, but had never actually told her himself. Before she could process what was happening, he was kissing her, ON CONNERS BED!

Everything in her was telling her how wrong this whole thing was. Just yesterday she'd been completely unconvinced that Evan had even known Conner, much less been best friends with him. It was all she could do to process that she might not have known her brother as well as she thought she did, that maybe there was another side to the perpetually high, bipolar jerk she had slowly grown to resent no matter how bad she felt about it.

Now suddenly, his supposed best friend was kissing her? The first time she had ever had real conversation with him was when she apologized for Conner, and basically accusing him of lying about the note and the emails wasn't much of an improvement. She didn't know what was going on in his head when he kissed her or why he did it, but she definitely didn't feel that way about him.

Really? Are you sure about that?

Well...

Wait, she wasn't really having this conversation was she? She barely even knew Evan, definitely not well enough to be wondering if she might have feelings for him!

"What am I thinking? I finally snapped, this isn't happening!" she muttered, pacing the room and rubbing her face in her hands. But the more she thought about it, the less convinced she felt.

Yes, Evan was weird. Yes, she still wasn't sure she had completely wrapped her head around the secret friendship thing yet. But it was hard not to admire how something about him seemed to help her parents, to make things easier for them. He just seemed to care so much. She also couldn't help admiring that, despite his quirks, he tried so hard to be better for himself and others. Somehow, the fact that he had to try so hard made his quirks that much more endearing.

"It also doesn't help that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body," she grumbled as she flopped onto her bed. His horror at saying anything remotely offensive about anyone had to be one of the most genuinely adorable things she had ever seen. And the way he looked at me when he was telling me what Conner had said, I just can't shake the feeling that there was more to it then he was saying. Like maybe those weren't just Conners feelings…

Which brought her back to the kiss. If she was honest with herself, could she really say that she couldn't see herself feeling that way about Evan, that there was no part of her that might feel the way he seemed to feel, that the kiss meant absolutely nothing?

No. She couldn't. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.

She groaned, buried her face in her pillow. She tried and failed to refocus her thoughts, then tried and failed to make sense of anything that had happened or what she was feeling. She was barely aware when her mom checked in before going to bed, so it was lucky her mom still seemed to think she needed her space to grieve or something like that.

After laying there for so long, she jumped in surprise when the email alert on her phone went off. She was even more surprised when she saw it was, somehow, from Evan. With no idea what to expect, she began to read-

Dear Zoe Murphy,

Well, since I didn't have your phone number, because I mean why would I, since you've never had any reason to give it to me it to me, but anyway, sorry for getting off track. You're probably wondering how I even got your email, probably because you don't remember we've been Facebook friends (sorry, I'm doing it again). Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know what happened tonight was just about the worst timing ever, and you probably won't want to see me again. I guess, whatever happens, I'm just glad you know how I feel. I've never been good at letting people see how I really feel and who I really am, but something about being with you just makes me feel like I can. Like no matter what, everything is okay. I just needed you to know that.

Sincerely, Me

Hope you guys enjoyed the first part! As of now, I'm not sure if I'll be ending this story where the show ends or if Zoe and Evan will have more to say, so you'll just have to Follow and Review to find out! Till next time, Allons-y and Geronimo! (yes, I also write Doctor Who Fanfics, check it out!)