It's funny how when a guy gets down on one knee and the asks the woman of his dreams to marry him (granted she says yes), the guy's mind is convinced

"Yes! We are getting married!"

I mean, don't get me wrong. Hopefully that is true, and it stays that way. But what a lot of them don't realize is the next one and half to two years are full of anguish and struggle. Shit dude, you got the massive planning, the girl constantly changing her mind, and don't even get me started how dry and barren your wallet gets. Hell, you end up having to tip your waiters cobwebs most of the time when you're engaged.

But sure, as the day and anxiety goes by, you still come home to your fiancé who is just as happy to see you as you are happy to see them. You guys get comfy, settle down for the night, maybe a little peck on the cheek or some rimming, and then you drift peacefully to sleep. And when you wake up, you do it all over again.

But let me tell you one more thing, that bunch of bullshit is not how it worked for me and Kyu (except the rimming. Imagine me clicking my tongue, since I obviously can't click my tongue for you).

If you're here, you probably know the story about how we met in the first place. I was a sad, lonely, and pathetic man. So pathetic in fact that a fucking love fairy had to come down to help me get my love life finally on track.

Well, that was the initial theory.

What ending up happening was a sweet and sour mix of suicidal tendencies, cuddling, ex-boyfriends, rainstorms, physical assault, half-naked lessons, so much verbal abuse, almost falling in love with an ex-mega bitch, but then actually falling in love with the love fairy herself. Damn, where's the academy award for that nonsense, huh?

Well since there is a bit of a gap here, let me fill in the boring blank stuff.

Have you ever seen a romantic comedy you actually thought was funny?

That. Our life was that. Except probably funnier and somehow more relatable. Hey, the fairy was practically human now. That's makes it realistic, you jerk.

We had the awkward bumps, the awkward dates, the awkward arguments, the awkward cuddles by the fire, the awkward 'stop stealing my fluff sandwich' incidents (happened way more than once. Doesn't every couple have those?), and especially the awkward sex.

So how did we end up getting engaged?

What, you thought all that stuff was awkward for us? No no no, it was awkward for everyone around us. While most couples rub their noses and talk to each other somewhat quietly, me and Kyu were uh….not doing that.

Wanna know of an example of an awkward bump we had in public?

"Axel Baron!"

"What Kyu?"

"Why did you leave me alone playing Connect Four!?"

"I thought you wouldn't notice!"

How about an awkward date?

"Yes, I'll have the Alabama pork chop please."

"Kyu, why would you want a racist pork chop?"

This is one of my favorite arguments we've had in public.

"Take that back Kyu!"

"Take what back?"

"Take back what you said about Reaper!"

"It's not my fault he's the most irrelevant character nowadays! When is the last time anybody actually got a triple kill with his ultimate? Nobody, since Reaper can only do one of three things! Die, get shot once and retreat with Wraith mode, or blow any attempt at flanking since the idiot fucking announces it!"

How was the cuddle by the fire awkward for other people? Umm…..

"Axel, there is only one hole that roasted marshmallow is allowed and it's the only one I can taste with!"

The fluff sandwich incidents are self-explanatory.

And the awkward sex was genuinely awkward between us. But not because of the reasons you may not immediately assume.

"So Axel. Anytime soon here tiger."

"Look, if you pressure me, you are pressuring him."

"Don't give your dick a pronoun please."

"I really thought my first time would be a little more romantic than this."

"And I really thought getting a virgin in bed would mean he would pulverize me since he's been waiting over two fucking decades for it! Just get it hard already!"

Mind you, she said it was the best one hundred and thirty five seconds of her life. Ha!

But then as you know, once things got a little more solid I wanted to propose to her. I'll try to narrow down the sarcasm and paint a pretty picture for you.

It was one of the rare snowstorms my city got. People always panicked over snow because we were barely prepared for it. Not a lot of houses had shovels, plows were as common as Rhode Island license plates, and the cold was scarier than the dark. But as soon as the soft frozen flakes of water stuck to the ground and formed a layer inches deep, everyone came out to play in it. Kids and adults were making snow angels, snowball fights, sledding, the works. I always loved seeing families so happy, and all it took was some weather.

Kyu was much more familiar with snow than I was, by a long shot. She was buying dirt, salt, shovels, gloves, ear muffs, pretty much packing for a trip through the God damn arctic. And all she needed to hear was the newscaster say 'a chance of'.

But with the hardware and the gear, came the hot chocolate as well.

Whenever we saw the first sign of snowfall, the thick pajama pants and the fuzzy comforters came out. Our first destination was the kitchen counter, to make the hot chocolate. You know, since it was pretty much the whole point. (I said I would 'try' to narrow down the sarcasm.)

And afterwards, the couch. I'd lie down first, and Kyu would snuggle in right between my legs and cuddle up to my chest. We didn't even need TV for those moments. Just the mugs full of chocolate powder and more solid sugar in the form of marshmallows.

The only light in the room was the orange glow of the fire pit. With nothing but orange, the grey steam from our mugs would dance and form shapes, sticking out in the dim radiance.

Eight out of ten times, this would lead to sex. Two out of ten times we both just fell asleep before the idea of foreplay was even conceived.

But then, out of the blue one day I got a little spark in my head. Staying warm by the fire, holding the one I love, this is something that couldn't be temporary. I want to cuddle with Kyu by the fire while we are young, and when we are old. I want to enjoy and relax by the fire with our kids one day.

And I knew the one way to ensure that happens is to put a ring on Kyu's finger, and get a special piece of paper.

When it came to buying a ring, I just kind of spit-balled what I thought was 'worth it'. We weren't poor by any means, but definitely couldn't afford any Ferraris.

From where I stood, my options were get an expensive one from a cheap store, or a get a cheap one from an expensive store. And the only way to make sure a guy truly understands something is to put it into a guy analogy.

What would most girls rather hear? You bought a BMW from a junkyard? Or a Kia from a guy who sells Mercedes?

For the first (and definitely last) time ever, Kia was the better option.

But in the end, an actual Kia would still be cheaper than the ring I bought her.

But hey. I got a five percent coupon for my next purchase.

So I got the ring, and I got the girl. Now I just gotta decide when to pretend to tie my shoe, and end up pulling out a tiny box from my back pocket.

And obviously, I wanted to make that moment special and unique.

But how do you surprise someone with a proposal whose last job was to make proposals happen?

Valentine's Day was out of the question, and so was Disney World.

I was thinking a holiday like Halloween or Christmas, but I already couldn't feel my legs at the ends of those celebrations (Wink).

Maybe her birthday? Nope, that was the day I let her use toys.

One of our various anniversaries? First kiss, first date, first nurse and patient roleplay, first vacation, or maybe even the first time she let me put it in her… nah. Not gonna bury my own grave in that one.

I was quite befuddled actually. We had so many special days and special occasions that I was I running out of options. It actually ended being a little over a year before I even put that ring to use.

It was winter time, and another snowstorm hit us. As usual, we both were gonna get dressed for our fiery cuddle, but I took the time to look out the window and appreciate the snowfall.

The sky was that mysterious hue of orange, and you can see the shape of the wind with the falling powder swirling around. The sticks and limbs from the trees were gripping the snow, forming a soft canopy of jagged white crystals.

My initial thought was

"Why are we inside for this?"

And then, just like my brain remembered the name of an actor whose face it recognized, another snap in my head.

The two most beautiful things in this world is this snowy night, and Kyu.

And so, I put the plan in motion.

I yelled for her in the bedroom.

"Hey, Kyu!"

"Yeah?"

"Don't put your pajamas on, I wanna go for a walk!"

"A walk? Where?"

"Just in the woods!"

"The woods!? Dude, it's snowing out!"

"I know! That's the whole point!"

"Oh, okay! Sounds good! I'll be right out!"

Right in our backyard was a small natural path we loved to walk. Sometimes, our neighbors would knock on our front door and ask us if they were allowed to walk the path as well. And we always said yes.

There was something so magical about how the snow both emptied out and filled the woods at the same time.

The snow covered all the leaves and vines. But then, no matter what direction you looked, the trees poking out of the snow was the only thing you could see.

But what I was waiting for was a clearing. There must have been a huge boulder or something here before, but in some random spot along the path was this round opening. Untouched by clutter, and untouched by the canopy of the trees. The moon shined down perfectly, forming an unobscured ray of lunar light. That is what I was waiting for.

Me and Kyu didn't say much on our walk. We crossed our arms and trotted along the trail, adoring the crunch of the snow under our boots.

We'd always sneak a peek at one another. Every time I turned my head to look at her, I could see her bright red nose and her breath freezing in the air.

When we got to the clearing, I stopped. Kyu still had her momentum going, so when I stopped suddenly, her body twisted around to face me.

"Axel, what's up? You tired?"

"No, not at all hun."

"So? Is something wrong?"

I gripped both of her hands, and brought them up to my chest.

"No. Everything is perfect actually."

Her response was a smile, and a little giggle that crawled out of the corner of her mouth.

She was the one that reached up and gave me a kiss.

With our foreheads pressed together and our eyes closed, I just took a moment to realize what it was I was feeling at this moment.

This woman was the love of my life.

"Kyu, I just want you to know you are the love of my life."

She kept me warm, even in this bitter cold.

"You keep me warm, even in this bitter cold."

Just holding her hands, and knowing she was with me, was what made me happy.

"Holding your hands, and knowing you are with me, is what makes me happy."

She was even more beautiful than the calm tranquility of this frozen forest.

"You are more beautiful than this frozen forest."

I needed Kyu.

"Kyu, I need you."

I knew I needed her for the rest of my life.

"I know I need you for the rest of my life."

She would keep me warm, safe, and happy.

"You keep me warm, safe, and oh so happy."

I wanted to be more with her.

"I want to be so much more with you."

I wanted to live my life with her, I wanted to make a family with her.

"I want to live my life with you, I want to have a family with you."

I wanted her to be my reason to live.

"I want you to be my reason to live."

I had to let go of one of her hands.

I slowly knelt down, looking up at her the entire time.

Her eyes were contracting, doing their best to keep the tears inside.

I reached into my pocket, revealing the small, red, and velvet box.

The hand I let go was now up to her lips, holding something in.

"Kyu Sugardust."

I opened the box. Even though the lunar light wasn't that bright, it shined right onto the diamond. Throwing speckles of rainbows through the trees.

"Will you marry me?"

A couple moments passed.

The only thing I could hear was the whistle of the wind.

Soon, I heard weak whimpers.

Then, the feint sounds of giggles.

After that, struggling to breathe.

Before saying a word, Kyu kneeled down to my level.

Her tears were turning to crystals the second they left her eyes.

"Yes. Yes, Axel."

And for the rest of that night, a total of seven words were spoken.

I told her

"I love you."

And she told me

"I love you too."

And so, there we were. Engaged, and as happy as can be.

We started an editing company, which led to publishing, which led to being published, which led to us making our living as both writers and collaborators. Kyu wrote the non-fiction stuff. Dating how-to articles and guides and what not.

Me, I covered the fiction. I really only got into writing fiction after we helped this one guy out with some sort of erotica story. But in all honesty, I think that is his story to tell.

Calling us celebrities was a long shot, but in the same ball park. Magazines from all over the world were calling Kyu trying to hire her, while I was getting publishing offers from numerous big time companies.

If we did take those jobs and offers, the money we made wouldn't be half as satisfying even though it'd be twice as much.

But me and Kyu realized we didn't want the rich lifestyle. After a couple spare tens of thousands of dollars ended up in our pockets, we thought why not give extravagant luxuries a shot. And so we went with a fancy car.

We gave it back immediately.

It didn't have a CD player.

And I'm thinking now is the time our next story turns to the present tense.

Like I said in the beginning, me and Kyu's engagement didn't quite work the same as other people's engagements.

I think we skipped out on a lot of that stress because we didn't want a huge wedding.

Who were we trying to impress? The twenty or so guests we were inviting? Two of which were my parents (who give out rain checks and apologies more than hugs), some were people we helped publish, and the rest were some of Kyu's fairy buddies.

Believe me, I hard time realizing there was more than one too.

None of us were highly classy. I wanted the guys to wear t-shirts and jeans, and Kyu wanted the girls to wear anything but corsets.

(I asked her why, and all she said was wings plus corsets equal something out of Saw. Lot of bad memories for her she said.)

I remember asking her if there was anything she wanted above and beyond at our wedding, and the only thing she could think of was maybe a band.

"Well if you could have any band in the world perform at our wedding, which one do you want?"

"Unrealistically?"

"Sure, we will start with unrealistically."

"Amon Amarth."

"Kyu, Viking metal?"

"You cannot look me in the eye, and tell me you wouldn't be happy and excited if Vikings came and played metal on our wedding day."

"You are one hundred percent correct, I cannot."

"So Axel, can I tell you who I want realistically?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Well, you know how I love rock and metal covers of Disney and pop songs?"

"Si."

"Well, what about Erock?"

"The guitar guy?"

"You know it."

"Welp, he seems pretty cool. Who knows, maybe if we donate enough to him on his , he'll make a new reward tier for live performances."

"Make it happen sweety."

So yeah, then there was this time when…what? What was that? This is still past tense? Well duh, it's not like the story is happening literally right now. There is obviously going to be a little bit of delay. This is literature, not Snap Chat or some bullshit like that.

What, you wanna get to the good stuff? Well that's what I was telling you before, before you felt the need to yell at me and tell me, the narrator of this fucking story, what God damn tense to use!

I literally just told you, both me and my fiancé are published authors. That means on paper I know what the hell I am doing.

Still not satisfied, eh? Fine, how about this. Let's compromise.

The second I wake up tomorrow, I'll tell you the story of my life as it unfolds, how about that? Would that please your needy ass? Maybe there will be some drama, some unfair deals, some bittersweet reunions, negotiations with terrorists, and many more things that I genuinely don't want to happen before my wedding! But hey, you selfish pricks get a good story out of it! Right!? Right!? RIJrkblknxldknbfffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Sorry. Kyu still likes to break some walls when I leave the computer unattended.