Soooo I'm not really sure where this came from, it's been sitting on my laptop for about 5 years & suddenly I just felt the need to post! I don't even know if anyone reads any OTH fanfics or Lucas and Peyton fanfics anymore but if you do then enjoy! Timeline: Lucas married Lindsey in 5x12 and Peyton went on tour with Mia Catalano before returning to Tree Hill with a fiancé!
Further Than Feelings
Stay
Saturday, empty room, filled with people
It don't mean a thing to
You and I, holding hands
Nobody knows, nobody understands
As soon as she's through the door she knows his eyes are on her. Holding on tighter to her husband's arm she refuses to look at him instead allowing herself to be steered around the room. She's wearing an elegant full length dress and she squeezes her husband's arm every once in a while and laughs at all the right times as he makes jokes and small talk with the people they greet.
It's only later when they've done a round of the room and her husband leaves to mingle by himself that she realises how much of a phony she is. And that is not something that she has ever been, regardless of the hard times, regardless of the tears she has always told the truth and stood up for what was important- for what she believed in. Now though, well, now she didn't even know who she was anymore. Her morals, her strength… she'd lost those around the time her life became confusingly complicated.
Taking a sip from the champagne flute in her hand, she glances at her husband. He's done amazingly well and she's truly proud of him. Her smile falters slightly as it so often does when she thinks about what she's doing to him.
As if on cue a voice makes her simultaneously shiver and jump out of surprise.
'You look beautiful.'
The sentence is whispered, his eyes are sparkling and she's reminded once again of why they're walking this tightrope their lives have become. Coming from his mouth the words felt a thousand times more real and she suddenly resented the fact that her husband had simply given her a nod of approval when she'd stepped out of their en-suite in the dress she was wearing.
'Luke.' She says softly.
'Don't worry; I won't compliment you further.' He grins, 'I know how you get.'
His words hit home. He knows her, he really does. She thinks he always has. She, also, doesn't think they've ever been so close and yet further apart.
'What are you doing?' She asks with a small smile that she can't quite stifle. 'Lucas, you know we shouldn't be-'
'Peyton, we're talking. We're friends.' His throat goes tight at the word and he sees her mouth tighten slightly but she nods all the same,
'Right.'
'Hi Peyt.'
The brunette appears quickly by Lucas' side and she sees his eyes tighten in annoyance; she raises her eyebrow at him slightly and says,
'Hey Linds. How are you?'
'Great.' She beams holding onto her own husband's arm. Lucas smiles at her but Peyton sees the tightness in his mouth, the squint in his eyes and wonders, for perhaps the thousandth time, why they're putting up this charade.
Peyton smiles, 'Clearly not that great Linds, I see you're missing a glass of this fabulous champagne.' She glances at Lucas, 'Shame on you, letting your wife go without a drink.'
Lindsey laughs and Lucas cannot help the smile on his face as her southern accent comes out. Her accent has changed a little over the years but there are still certain things she says in a certain way that brings out her southern roots- something he loves.
'Oh I can't.' Lindsey says with a smile, 'I'm leaving for New York in a few hours.'
'Really?' Peyton answers politely, carefully avoiding eye contact with Lucas, 'That's a shame.'
'Works calling. You know how it is.' Lindsey shrugged with a small smile as Peyton nodded, 'Anyway, I need to leave soon so I'm going to thank your husband for inviting us.'
Peyton couldn't help but cringe slightly at the acknowledgment that she was married as Lindsey breezed away. Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly and Peyton couldn't help but sigh inwardly. Five years later and he still felt awkward about the whole Lindsey situation.
Lucas and Lindsey's wedding had to be one of the hardest days Peyton had gone through and she'd gone through some dark days in her life. As soon as they were married she'd left town shortly afterwards, going on tour with Mia, and hadn't come back for two years. In which time, she'd gotten engaged. But now, things were different.
Everything was different.
'So Lindsey's going to New York huh?'
'Yeah.' Lucas said quickly, 'For a few days.'
He hesitated slightly and Peyton wondered how their conversation had grown stunted over the years. They'd been so comfortable with each other; they'd teased each other and laughed together. And now, at times like this, it was awkward.
'I was wondering whether-' He hesitated again and his hand went to the back of his neck. She couldn't help but smile at the throwback. 'Do you want to come over?'
He looked almost as nervous as the first time he'd spoken to her and her heart ached with longing. Longing to go back to simpler times when boy liked girl and girl had been too stubborn to see it. If only she could go back she could fix the mess their lives had become. With a sigh her eyes found her husband. He was talking to some big shot producer and she hated how when she looked at him she didn't feel butterflies. She didn't feel anything in particular.
And that killed her.
'It might be late.' She answered softly.
'I'll wait.' He responded and they locked eyes.
If only he'd said that years ago, and meant it, then they wouldn't be in the mess they were in now.
I don't care for sunlight
That only means it's over
And I'm in no mood for that
He kisses her lazily, running a hand up her thigh and she shivers at the contact. He pulls her tighter against himself and rests their foreheads together, trying to regulate their breathing as they recover from their activities. He knows he's never felt as close to another person than he is when he does this with Peyton and when he's looking in her eyes, their chests pressed together, her legs encompassing his body he really does wonder why they're not actually together, why they're married to other people and why they're making this so damn hard.
And then he inadvertently catches sight of a picture of him and Lindsey on the bedside cabinet and he realises that there are more people involved in this than just him and Peyton. That they'd be screwing up more people's lives, breaking more hearts and that is not something either of them wants.
Yet they haven't found the courage to completely let each other go.
Peyton's eyes follow his and she sighs, not out of sadness or exasperation. He realises its shame as she brings a shaky hand to her face, covering her eyes.
'Sorry.' He says, manoeuvring himself off of her so he can place the photo face down. She tries to downplay the panic she feels at the loss of contact.
'Luke.' Peyton answers, adjusting the sheet to cover herself and propping herself up on her elbow to look at him, 'I know.'
He nods but can't help feeling guilty. And perhaps the worst thing of all is the fact that he doesn't feel the remorse for his wife but rather the woman he's inadvertently making his mistress.
Because she is so much more than that. She means so much more than that.
He's mesmerised as the sheet slips off her shoulder, she catches it before it drops any lower but with a smile he leans over and tugs it down, before pulling her quickly to settle against him. Her squeal has him laughing. Reaching up he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she looks down at him. He runs his hands down her bare arms and can't help but smile.
'How long do we have?'
The question is said tentatively because he doesn't want to remind her of the world outside the four walls of his bedroom. He's also terrified that she'll just get up and admit she has to go. But she grins and leans down to whisper her reply into his ear.
'All night.'
He grips her hips tightly and groans a little as her bare torso presses against his. At her answer his eyes widen,
'How did you manage that?'
She shrugs nonchalantly and he suddenly doesn't care for the reason as his face splits into a grin. Without warning her back hits the mattress and he's hovering over her, the weight of him comfortingly resting between her legs. Her fingers play with the hair at his neck as she smiles, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
He's grinning again and she's reminded of a younger Lucas. Before she went to LA they ended many a night just like this, in his bed, wrapped up in one another and she missed it. She missed them, terribly.
His tongue brushing past hers, however, makes her mind go blank and her eyes flutter shut. She'll take this, she'll take whatever she can- even if it is just for the night.
Stay tonight
Don't come morning, don't come light
They may be lies, say it, say that we'll be alright
If we stay tonight
His hand makes its way slowly through her curls and she fights the urge to sleep. Her eyes flicker open again and he chuckles, making her head shake slightly as it rests against his chest.
'Go to sleep.' He whispers into her hair.
'No.' She murmurs back, holding onto him tighter and pressing a kiss to his bare chest.
Lucas can't help but smile and pull her even closer to him, his hand moving from her hair to her hand, intertwining their fingers together on his abdomen. The smile slides off his face as he sees her rings, resting on the third finger of her left hand. He has an irrational need to pull them off and throw them into a corner of the room, somewhere they can forget about them and forget about what they signify.
He leans back against the headboard with a sigh and thinks back to the day this all started. It was just under six months ago now. They'd been looking over business at TRIC, studio costs, rentals, turnover and they'd disagreed (naturally) about something.
She'd called him a jackass and he'd smiled at her, a genuine Lucas Scott smile because he'd always loved it when she'd called him out for being an ass. He loved that she challenged him. She also reminded him of a younger, feistier Peyton who fought for what she believed in and stood up for things that mattered.
She'd then laughed and told him to quit being a dick, he'd shook his head and then they'd gone back to work before he'd promptly admitted that he missed her. It was a whispered declaration, a musing that he'd been thinking for some time which had somehow slipped from his lips. He remembered her looking completely confused; she'd mumbled something about how they saw each other several times a week.
He said he didn't mean it like that; he missed what they used to be. He missed who they used to be.
He missed them.
Her throat had gone completely dry and she'd mumbled a few words before shuffling the papers in front of her. Lucas had placed his hand on her thigh to get her attention; they'd locked eyes and suddenly without any thought he leaned forward to kiss her. She had pulled back immediately and nearly slapped him for his audacity but the look in his eyes stopped her.
He looked lost, he looked hurt and he was looking at her as though he still loved her.
And so she pulled him closer and kissed him again. She kissed him until her back met the pool table and he was hovering over her his hands under her shirt and hers tugging at his belt.
They'd slept together that day in a haze of feelings that had always been bigger than themselves. After that they didn't see each other on their own for a month and a half, each feeling too guilty for their moment of indiscretion. And then Peyton had her annual concert at TRIC which they were all invited to. The after party was held at Peyton and Michael's house and all of their closest friends attended, Lindsey went home early with a headache and so Lucas went alone. About an hour into the party Michael announced he was going to have to leave due to work commitments in LA. He kissed Peyton goodbye and got a cab to the airport and all Lucas could understand were the strong feelings of jealousy he felt when he witnessed the kiss. Gradually people left until it was just the two of them. They drank and they laughed and they joked and they weren't quite sure how it happened but somewhere along the way Lucas was pressing her into her plush leather couch, his lips on hers, her fingers in his hair. And since that night they became more than just a mistake, more than a one time thing.
Closing his eyes Lucas didn't truly know how his life had become one big joke. When Peyton had come back to town after the tour she'd gone on with Mia he'd been married and she had a fiancée and they worked hard at building a friendship of sorts. They knew that if they were to both be in the same town they had to get along at least to a civil nature; they had to be around each other for the sake of their friends.
Fast forward three years and they'd perfected the art. None of their friends knew that they did anything but simply tolerate each other. They were tentative friends at most and Nathan, Haley and Brooke had made their peace with that. None of them knew that they were secretly enjoying a lot more of each other's company.
The light bounced off Peyton's rings again and Lucas scowled at the offending items. He didn't know how things had gotten so complicated. He knew they were better than this, he knew that this would end badly for both of them but he didn't know how to stop it.
For the majority of his life he'd wanted Peyton Sawyer and since he'd lost her in that hotel room in LA all those years ago he'd had a hole in his heart that he couldn't fill with anything. Yet since they'd started spending more time together (inappropriate though it was) the hole in his heart was beginning to heal.
He found he was living for the moments he spent with Peyton or at least waiting for the time when they'd be together again.
Looking down at the blonde in his arms he smiled a little, marvelling at her beauty. It was something that he'd always awed about her. He kissed the top of her head absentmindedly and trailed his hand up and down her bare arm.
He knew what this all meant, he wasn't naïve. He was in love with her. He'd never fallen out of love with her.
But they'd both made vows and they couldn't turn their backs on the lives they'd built for themselves, everything was stable and they couldn't rock the boat.
Little did they know that the situation the two had found themselves in was a precarious stack of cards waiting for a breath of wind to send them crashing down.
My hands are shaking
This is a complicated love with me
'Hey you.'
'Hey B. Baker.' Peyton replied looking up and seeing her best friend walking into her office, a coffee cup in hand.
'How you doin?'
'Pretty good.' Peyton smiled, 'The label is kicking ass. You?'
'Stressed.' Brooke pouted.
'Brooke.' Peyton said with a small smile, 'Every year the opening of your new line goes off without a hitch.'
'I know, but… what if no one likes my new line!' She stressed waving her hand about and Peyton couldn't help but laugh. Brooke scowled at her best friend and Peyton stood up, walking out from behind her desk and joining Brooke on the edge of the pool table, placing her hand over the brunette's.
'Brooke Davis-Baker, when has that ever happened?! It's been nearly a decade, I'm pretty sure you would have gone bankrupt by now if no one liked your clothes.'
'I guess you have a point.' Brooke conceded. 'Anyway, I bought you your personalised dress.'
Peyton rolled her eyes with a smile, 'You didn't have to.'
'It's my party and if I want to make my best friend a pretty dress I will do it.' She said fiercely, her mouth twitching in amusement as Peyton laughed.
'Anyway missy, what happened to you?'
Peyton frowned wondering what on earth Brooke was referring to.
'At Michael's party. You disappeared!'
Peyton cleared her throat quickly and tucked a curl behind her ear, 'I was tired.'
'It was your husband's party!'
'I know.' Peyton sighed, 'I didn't feel well.'
Brooke looked at her friend intently, 'Are you okay?'
'Sure.' Peyton answered far too quickly for Brooke's liking. She raised her eyebrows at her friend,
'It's just I saw you talking to Lucas and-' Peyton felt her cheeks getting hot and prayed her friend wouldn't notice anything. 'I mean- I know how you two get.'
'Brooke, it's been five years.' Peyton said, laughing slightly nervously, 'We're fine.'
'I know. I mean, he has Lindsey and you have Michael. I just wondered.'
Peyton shook her head, 'We were just talking about the music for the upcoming gig at TRIC.'
Brooke nodded her head without a trace of doubt and Peyton wondered when she'd gotten so good at lying to her best friend, the one person who could usually see through her in five seconds flat.
'So, the store opens at 8.00 but I want you there by 7.30 got it?'
Peyton laughed, partly in relief that they'd moved past the conversation of Lucas and partly at the need for Brooke to remind her. 'Need I remind you B, that you've been doing this event for years? I know when I need to be there.'
'Good.' Brooke beamed and stood from the pool table, 'Right, get back to work P Sawyer. I'll see you later!'
She bounded out of the office and Peyton wondered whether she realised that she'd called her by her maiden name.
She wondered whether it was a sign that her best friend still referred to her as that.
Keep your eyes closed, I've seen it baby
I've seen where this goes
Stay tonight
Don't come morning, don't come light
'We shouldn't be doing this.'
Even as she said the words she pulled the tie from around his neck and pulled him closer as his lips hit her collarbone. He ignored her words and kept his hands firm on her hips, his lips moving up the column of her throat to reunite with hers, his tongue meeting hers hastily.
'We really shouldn't be doing this.' She said again but this time the statement was more breathless. He smirked against her lips and withdrew slightly, looking at her.
'You want to stop? Say the word babe.'
All she could see was his smirk, his smouldering eyes and the stubble lining his jaw and she thought for perhaps the thousandth time that he was the most attractive man she'd ever seen. He kisses her again and then abruptly pulls away, 'As soon as I saw you an hour ago in this dress.' He squeezes the material at her hips and she pulls him closer, 'I've wanted you alone.'
His voice is low and rough and with a groan of resignation she covers his mouth with her own again. Feeling triumphant he can't help the small chuckle escape his lips.
'Shut up.' She whispers with a roll of her eyes as he presses a small kiss to the side of her mouth. He raises an eyebrow before reuniting their lips in another bruising kiss, one that leaves her feeling slightly dizzy.
Peyton pushes his blazer from his shoulders as he pins her against the wall, one hand in her hair and the other wrapped around her waist securely.
'Where have you been for the last few weeks?' Lucas asks breathlessly, breaking their contact slightly.
'Around.' Peyton answered with a small smile, 'Why? You miss me?'
'Always.' He responds in a heartbeat, his smile boyish and sexy all at the same time. She can't help but giggle, she wasn't usually that brazen, and his hand cups her cheek as he presses his forehead against hers, revelling in the sound.
He doesn't hear her giggle often.
In truth, she'd pretty much avoided him for the past two weeks. You could say guilt was slowly eating away at her. At least it had been, but as soon as she'd seen Lucas entering with his wife all she'd wanted is for them to be alone.
Blue meets green, she feels like time has stood still and suddenly she's hit with the fact that this is the boy she's been in love with since she was sixteen. The boy she didn't think she'd ever be able to have ever again. She knew she didn't have him in any sense of the word; in fact, legally, they'd never been so far apart.
Emotionally, however, they were being more honest with themselves than they had let themselves be in years.
He kisses her again and she pulls him closer knowing that if this is the only way she can have him then she'll take what she can get because she wants to be selfish with him. She wants it to be simple, to be just him and her, wrapped up in each other. He startles her out of her thoughts when he lifts her up slightly, instinctively she wraps her legs around his waist and his hand falls to her thigh as he closes his eyes with a groan.
He couldn't count how many times they'd done this over the years but she still has the ability to completely take his breath away. It never ceases to amaze him.
Her fingers go to his belt and she undoes it before pulling down his zipper in one fluid motion. Lucas can't help but smirk at her.
'In a hurry?'
She raises her eyebrow at him, slightly incredulously, and he's brought suddenly back to earth with a bump. Of course she's in a hurry; they're in the back of Brooke's boutique at a party, with their other halves standing on the other side of a wall. In answer to his own statement he hastily pushes her panties to one side.
It's her turn to smirk at him and he rolls his eyes with a smile. She clutches at his shoulders tightly when he presses his hips against hers and he stills completely when he enters her, enjoying the feeling of first being with her. Their cheeks are pressed together and his breath in her ear is ragged as she shifts her hips against his and he starts to move.
Holding onto his shoulder tightly she closes her eyes as a moan escapes from her lips. He raises his head slightly from the crook of her neck and marvels at her beauty, her eyes are closed and her lips are parted. He brushes away a curl that falls into her face and her eyes open again. Blue meets green and he can't stop the genuine smile that makes its way onto his face.
He loves her. And he wants to tell her that. But he can't because he knows exactly what will happen, Peyton would freak out and he doesn't know what he would do if he lost her again.
So instead he stills their movements completely and kisses her, his tongue moving languidly with hers. He groans when she rotates her hips against him and feels the smirk on her lips. Without warning he pulls out and pushes back into her forcefully, smirking when she moans appreciatively into his ear and her arm tightens around his shoulders.
The look she gives him makes him grin, cupping her cheek and kissing her as she rolls her hips into his once more. The music from the party thrums through the wall simultaneously urging them on and drowning out the noises that carelessly escape from their lips.
They may be lies, but say that we'll be alright
If we stay tonight
'What's up with you boytoy?'
He turned quickly at the sound of Brooke's voice and plastered on a smile, 'Oh nothing. Congrats on the line, it's pretty awesome.'
Brooke grinned at Nathan and shifted her weight onto one hip, 'It is isn't it?'
'I know nothing about fashion, but I'd say you did pretty good, Davis-Baker.'
She laughed before saying, 'Have you seen my best friend? She's been MIA for a half hour.'
'Nope.' Nathan replied in what he hoped was a completely noncommittal response.
Brooke frowned but almost instantly got caught up when someone came to congratulate her. Turning away from the brunette Nathan let the frown he'd been previously wearing welcome its way onto his face again. His brow furrowing as he surveyed the back of the shop.
He'd seen Peyton go into the back merely twenty minutes ago. He'd pushed his way through the crowd to go after her, wondering what was wrong until he'd seen a head he very much recognised go through to the back of the shop after her not even a minute later.
He guessed he shouldn't interrupt them, knowing Lucas and Peyton they'd probably had a disagreement about something or another.
But as the minutes went past he grew increasingly more concerned. He didn't quite know what was going on but he was fighting an inner battle in whether to go and see whether they were both alright. In the end he guessed he'd just wait for them to emerge.
In the meantime he kept a close eye on Haley, Lindsey and Michael knowing that if any three of them knew Lucas and Peyton were doing god knows what in the back of the store would not be at all happy.
He took a sip of his drink and surveyed the room until a movement in the back pulled his gaze sharply. Lucas emerged and he was straightening out his tie, Nathan frowned as he watched his brother run his fingers across his lips quickly and drag a hand through his hair before joining the crowd.
Barely five minutes later the girl he'd been looking for appeared and he studied her with interest, taking in the newly applied lipstick, the glow of her cheeks and her slightly mussed hair.
The realisation came seconds later and struck him hard, making his eyes widen, his drink abandoned halfway towards his mouth. To be frank, he'd seen Peyton look like that on several occasions. When they'd been dating he'd been boyishly proud of making her hair all extra curly and her cheeks tinged pink. Lucas' appearance hadn't been much better, either.
He stood on the opposite side of the room and surveyed the two blondes. They acknowledged each other with a small smile as they picked up flutes of champagne and that one look sealed the deal.
The realisation making Nathan's mind go into free fall.
'Peyton!'
Peyton turned at the sound of her best friend's voice.
'There you are! Where the hell have you been?'
Peyton's heart constricted but she let out a nervous chuckle, 'At your party, why… was I meant to be somewhere else?'
Brooke frowned, 'I haven't been able to find you for ages.'
'I stepped out.' Peyton explained, her insides squirming knowing that if Brooke ever found out about what had just occurred in her boutique she would kill her, for more reasons than one. 'It's really hot in here.'
'You do look pretty flustered.' Brooke said, raising a hand to touch her best friend's cheek in concern.
Peyton felt her cheeks burn even more and said, 'I'm fine.'
'Hmm.'
Brooke couldn't help but study her best friend, wondering why Peyton was looking particular shifty. She couldn't meet the brunette's eyes.
'Is there something you're not telling me?'
'No!' Peyton said laughing slightly, 'God, Brooke. What's with the third degree? Go and entertain your guests.'
Brooke looked at her for a second quizzically before doing as her friend had said and mingling into the crowd.
'There you are!'
Closing her eyes she mustered up all the courage she had and turned to face her husband.
'I've been looking for you for forever.' He smiled, 'I got you a drink.'
'Thanks.' Peyton answered, carefully avoiding the unspoken question of where she'd been. Instead she took the glass off her husband and took a measured gulp.
'You look insanely hot by the way.' He smirked at her and she leaned in and kissed him with a muffled thanks against his lips.
All she could think was that Lucas had said she'd looked breath-taking and had promptly brought a red tinge to her cheeks.
Michael had never made her blush. It was a silly thing but these small things kept mounting up and all she could think was that Lucas was different to any other man she'd ever known.
Lucas made her feel things no other man had ever done. And that meant something.
It meant everything.
'So that was pretty successful wasn't it?' Brooke asked and everyone scoffed.
'Pretty? You rocked it Brooke.' Peyton said with a smile and Brooke caught hold of her hand squeezing it before saying,
'So thanks for staying guys, but I think we should probably clean this up tomorrow. It's pretty late.'
'We?' Nathan asked with a frown.
'Yes we.' Julian cut in with a smile, 'There's no way I'm dealing with hungover Brooke and a boutique to clean on my own.'
The group laughed as Brooke hit her husband's chest lightly before he pulled her into his side.
'We should get going Luke.'
Lucas nodded at his wife and started making his rounds in saying goodbye to everyone. Lindsey and Peyton exchanged a few words before she gave her a hug, something which made Peyton want to die inside.
She was a horrible, horrible person.
'Nice necklace by the way.' The brunette said with a smile and Peyton smiled back, inwardly cringing because Lucas had given her that necklace. On her birthday a few weeks ago they'd found time to be alone and he'd produced the most beautiful necklace she'd ever seen.
Lindsey moved onto Michael and Peyton's eyes met Lucas'. He tentatively smiled at her and on impulse, it seemed, he pulled her into a hug, cupping the back of her head and whispering, 'Good night Peyt' into her ear. She let him go after the appropriate amount of time (although she really didn't want to) and he sent her a smile and a wink as he and Lindsey made their way out of the boutique.
Nathan who'd been watching the whole scene unfold said quickly, 'Right, we better go too Hales.'
Haley hugged Peyton and Michael then turned to Brooke and Julian. Nathan shook Michael's hand and turned to his best friend.
'Night Nate.' Peyton smiled and wrapped her arms around the younger Scott brother.
'I need to talk to you.' He whispered into her ear and she pulled back slightly looking in his eyes for some kind of inclination as to what he wanted. He shook his head, 'I'll pick you up tomorrow for lunch. Night Peyt.'
And she was left wondering what he could possibly want to talk to her about. The frantic way in which her heart was beating suggested that whatever it was wasn't good.
'So what's got you taking me out to lunch Scott?' Peyton teased with a smile. Her heart however was beating a mile a minute.
Nathan sighed and sat back in his chair a little. So far they'd had a nice lunch, they'd caught up with each other but at the back of his mind Nathan knew he was about to ruin it.
'Are you happy Peyt?'
She frowned at the question, 'Is that a trick question?' She said with a laugh.
'I'm serious. You're happy?'
Peyton reached across the table and covered his hand with her own, 'Yes Nathan, I'm happy.'
Somehow over the years she'd found it just as easy to lie to herself as it was to lie to everyone else.
'And you love Michael, right?'
Peyton removed her hand and sat up a little straighter, feeling suddenly nettled.
'What is this?' She asked her tone becoming instantly colder, making Nathan want to get on her good side straight away. However he held his ground.
'Do you love him or not? It's a simple question.'
'He's my husband, of course I do!' Peyton hissed indignantly.
Nathan nodded and looked around before leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table as he built up the courage to say the next few words, 'Then tell me, why are you fucking my brother?'
Peyton blanched her mouth opening in shock and closing again as her eyes widened.
'I- what- I'm not!' She said quickly and Nathan smirked slightly, but it wasn't a traditional Nathan Scott smirk. It was an angry smirk that Peyton had seen many times before.
'Don't lie to me.'
The way he said those four words made Peyton instantly shrink away, feeling like she was a small child being scolded. Feeling as though she's about to burst into tears she stood up quickly, picked up her bag and left the cafe. Nathan sighed, flung a few notes onto the table and followed her a second later.
Nathan scanned the broad walk quickly and spotted her straight away, leaning against a railing. Her shoulders were shaking and he suddenly felt like the biggest ass in the world. Taking a deep breath he walked closer to his friend and turned her around by the shoulders. With a small sob she fell into his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, resting his chin on the top of her head.
So, in hindsight, that probably wasn't the best way to bring up something like that.
'Peyt.' He whispered when he felt her calm down a little, 'How long?'
She raised her head and wiped at her eyes. The cold of her wedding band against her cheek brought on another set of tears, 'A couple of months.'
Nathan blew out a breath in surprise, wondering how they all could have possibly missed something so pivotal. 'I'm sorry I ambushed you.'
With his arm still around her shoulders he guided her to a nearby bench and they sat down.
'How did you find out?' She asked softly.
'You and Lucas disappeared at exactly the same time last night. Then I saw you both come out of the back and-well-' He smiled slightly, 'It doesn't take a genius to work it out Peyt.'
'We were stupid.' She said softly, her cheeks reddening. 'Last night was so stupid and reckless.'
'What was the last few months then?'
Peyton closed her eyes painfully, 'I'm in love with him Nathan.'
And that's what he had been waiting for. The surprising fact was that he couldn't honestly say he was a hundred per cent shocked by her admission. Lucas and Peyton had never gotten their happily ever after but they'd never got closure either. They'd both moved on because that's what they had believed the other person had done.
If anything, he wondered how they'd lasted this long because if he was sure of anything it was that Lucas and Peyton would always love each other more than they did anyone else.
'Of course you are.' He sighed and her face crumpled in tears again. He pulled her once again against his chest, brushing a hand through her curls and knowing that this little bombshell had the potential to blow apart their friendship group, let alone completely devastate the four main people involved.
Gonna feel it baby
Oh I don't wanna cry
I know we'll get to tomorrow and say goodbye
That's what I'm asking for
Tonight
Lucas sat on the bleachers his chin resting on his hands as his knees supported his elbows. Watching the calm of the river he couldn't help but let his mind drift to Peyton, as it so often did. He hadn't seen her since Brooke's party and that was over a week ago.
Truth be told, he missed her.
If he's honest with himself he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't missed her.
Hearing the sound of boots against the tarmac of the court, he swung around quickly, his heart beating nearly out of his chest in anticipation.
He immediately smiled when he saw her, standing up and walking towards her. Without any hesitance he pulled Peyton into a hug and she responded immediately, wrapping her arms tight around him. She breathed in his scent and had to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do.
He pulled away slightly, but still holding onto her, his hands at her hips. As soon as he saw her face up close the smile he was wearing was replaced with a frown.
'What's wrong?' He asked in concern, his hand cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him. She sniffled slightly and before she could stop them tears spilled from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks. Lucas' frown deepened and he used his thumb to wipe them away quickly.
'Nathan knows.'
His eyes widened and he said quickly, 'How?'
'He saw us.' Peyton said, her voice shaking, 'At the party.'
Lucas closed his eyes and inwardly cursed. 'I'll talk to him, Peyt.' He said finally pulling her closer and looking into her eyes, 'Don't worry.'
Peyton pulled away a little and said brokenly, 'I don't think you understand what I'm saying Luke. Nathan knows. We need to stop this.'
His heart constricted in his chest and he stared at her. She stepped backwards and his arms fell to his sides uselessly as she slid out of his grasp.
'Nathan finding out was like a wake-up call.' She continued, folding her arms around herself, 'What have we been doing Lucas?'
'We've been doing what we should have been doing all along.' He whispered and Peyton choked on her next words.
'No, we've been creating a little world for ourselves, an alternate universe in which we can do whatever the hell we want.' She laughed bitterly, 'But this isn't a fairy-tale Lucas. This is reality, you're married and so am I.'
'Don't.' Lucas said quickly, 'Don't do this.'
'We owe it to our marriages to be better people. We owe it to Lindsey and to Michael. We owe it to ourselves to work this out.'
He stepped forward valiantly and cupped her cheeks, 'Fine, we will. I'll leave her Peyton. I'll leave her and we can go away-'
Even as he said the words, more tears spilled from her eyes and she shook her head.
'This is wrong.' She said forcefully.
Lucas' heart clenched painfully and he felt panic rise in his chest, his eyes burned and with his hands still on her cheeks he pulled her lips to his. She grasped onto his shirt and pulled him closer, parting her lips to grant his tongue entrance. Taking courage from her enthusiasm he kissed her as though his life depended on it, pulling her closer until his lungs burned with the lack of oxygen.
Pulling away he looked at her again, one look in her eyes showed him that nothing had changed. She'd meant what she'd said, they were over.
This had to end.
'I love you.' He whispered brokenly, cupping her cheek again and she shook her head quickly, choking slightly on a sob.
'I do.' He reiterated, 'I love you Peyton, I promise you, I never stopped.'
And those are the words she'd waited five years for. Turns out they were five years too late.
'And I love you.'
It was barely said above a whisper but he heard the words as they cut deep into his soul.
'But we can't do this anymore.'
Tears that had been burning at the corner of his eyes for the last few minutes spilled from over his lids and he wiped them away furiously. He nodded his head in resignation, knowing that in some completely fucked up way- she was right.
Peyton reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace he'd given her before attempting to give it to him.
'No.' He said vehemently. 'That was a gift.'
She shook her head and opened up his hand before placing the necklace into his palm.
'We need to let each other go Lucas. For good.'
Those were the last words she spoke before tears stopped her from speaking. Instead she simply kissed his cheek one last time and walked off the river court and away from the man she was positive she was going to love forever.
By the time she was halfway home the tears had completely taken over her and she pulled over at the side of the road when she could no longer see. Resting her head against the steering wheel she sat there, overcome with emotion.
Somehow she'd lost Lucas Scott all over again.
He opened the back door and was extremely thankful when he heard the shower; he couldn't deal with Lindsey right now. He rubbed at his eyes furiously and then grabbed his phone quickly, typing out a text to Nathan.
Blind hurt overtook his senses as he sent the text and he threw the phone across the room, opening his palm he looked at the necklace he'd given to Peyton and his eyes burned again. Without any care he threw it aside and put his head in his hands, not even bothering to conceal the tears leaking from his eyes. Unable to face his wife and unwilling to explain his obvious distress he grabbed his basketball and was out of the door in two seconds flat.
A knock on her car door made her jump considerably but half a second later it had opened and upon seeing the darker haired Scott she burst into tears again. Nathan kneeled on the floor next to the car and pulled the blonde into his arms as she sobbed. She clung to him desperately, her face buried in his shirt.
Nathan couldn't help but feel scared out of his mind. He'd gotten a text from Lucas saying simply that Peyton needed him.
All he could deduce from this situation was that the blonde's had ended things. For good.
Shutting off her engine she took a deep breath, taking a quick look in the rear view mirror. Wiping her eyes she knew it was fundamentally useless. She knew her husband would see right past her façade.
Opening the door to their house she prepared herself for what was about to come.
'Peyton!' Her husband rounded the corner and sighed in relief, 'I was getting worried.'
She chuckled, humourlessly and wrapped her arms around him when he got closer. He took a second to hug her back, clearly surprised, and her eyes welled with tears again.
Lucas would have never hesitated; his arms would have been around her instantly. But she mentally shook herself, if she was to finally let Lucas Scott go she had to stop with the comparisons. She was with Michael and she loved him.
'Are you okay?'
'Sure.' Peyton lied with a smile and Michael held her at arm's length studying her. 'I'm fine Michael, honestly.'
His frown dissipated slightly and she took the opportunity to speak, 'I'm sorry. I know I've been distant lately and I don't want to give you any reason to worry.'
He looked slightly confused and she continued, 'I haven't- I feel like I haven't been myself but that's going to change, I promise.'
He smiled, still looking slightly confused, 'You're always the Peyton I know and love.'
And just like that she wondered why the hell she was with this man. This past week she'd been in emotional turmoil, she'd pulled away from him, in fact she'd hardly seen him and he hadn't noticed a thing. Perhaps more saddening was the fact that the Peyton he 'knew and loved' wasn't her at all.
He leaned forward and kissed her. She responded just like she felt she should and her heart fractured into a million pieces.
Stay tonight
Don't come morning, don't come light
They may be lies but say that we'll be alright
Say that we're gonna be alright
Tonight
Peyton wasn't going to lie and say the next month of their lives was anything but a day by day process. She went to work, she got home, she had dinner with her husband and she did it all again the next day. She avoided Lucas altogether and they honestly hadn't been in the same room since she'd ended things.
She felt it was easier this way. That didn't mean she didn't miss him though because she did. Everyday.
'How do I look?'
She twirled around at the sound of her husband's voice and gave him a genuine smile.
'Handsome as always.' She smiled and he walked towards her to give her a kiss.
'So this meal at Nathan and Haley's is just a casual thing right?'
'Yeah.' She nodded, putting on her ear rings. 'We haven't all been together in a while so they thought it would be nice.'
He made a face and she said, 'What?'
'Is Lucas gonna be there?'
Her heart skipped a beat, 'I assume so, why?'
'Nothing. I never did take to the guy.' He shrugged.
It was true. Lucas and Michael never did get on well. Maybe because Michael knew the history of her and Lucas and Lucas had made it pretty clear he didn't like her husband. She hadn't understood it until they'd started their affair and he'd told her one day when they'd been in bed that he'd been jealous that Michael had the life with Peyton that he'd always wanted.
'Well now's your chance.' She smiled although her heart was beating a mile a minute, 'Just spend some time with him, he's a good guy.'
Michael rolled his eyes slightly but relented, 'For you.'
Buttoning up his shirt Lucas contemplated the last month and a half. They'd been hard. He couldn't say they weren't. He'd got in a routine though, coaching and writing taking up most of his time. Oh, that was another thing. He'd been writing furiously and it was so ironic he couldn't fully comprehend it.
He missed her terribly. More than he even let on to himself but he was learning to deal with it, at least as well as he could.
'Linds!' He called, 'We should get going. Nate said to be there by 7.'
'How do I look?' She asked as she came into the room.
'Good.' He smiled, taking in her outfit quickly as he walked past her, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he went.
Lindsey couldn't help but feel deflated, his answer not the one she had been hoping for, at all. If she was honest there had been something off between them for a while now and she'd put off thinking about it because of a deep fear that she was the problem.
'Linds, can you bring the car keys!' Lucas called from the kitchen, 'I left them somewhere in the bedroom.'
She rolled her eyes slightly at her husband and went about searching for them. Pushing aside papers on his desk she dislodged a stack and they fell to the floor, cursing slightly she knelt down and began picking up the files. Something gleamed in the corner of her eye and she frowned, something by their bed, beneath her husbands' bedside cabinet, was shining at her.
She reached out and picked up the item, it dangled between her fingers and her heart went cold as the breath was knocked out of her.
Stay tonight
Don't come morning, don't come light
'Lucas, Peyton could you get the dessert please?' Haley asked, clearing away the plates from the table.
Nathan inwardly cursed his wife but the two blonde's held face remarkably well and followed Haley's orders. His brother had told him, curtly, about a month ago that they'd stopped seeing each other but Nathan honestly didn't know how they both did it. He knew they loved each other, and so did they apparently, and yet they pushed it aside for the people they'd promised their lives to. Nathan couldn't even fathom the possibility of living with a choice like that.
They didn't speak right away, instead focusing on the task at hand but Lucas couldn't ignore her.
'So, how've you been?' He asked.
Peyton couldn't help but smile slightly, 'You know, dealing.'
Lucas nodded, 'Yeah me too.'
He wanted to say he missed her; he wanted to say he couldn't stop thinking about her but he knew he couldn't. That was what had got them into trouble in the first place so he said nothing. They were saved the awkwardness when Haley swept her way into the room.
Lindsey sat at the table slowing drinking the bottle of wine that sat in front of her, feeling decidedly tipsy by the minute. She'd watched her husband and his blonde ex-girlfriend surreptitiously throughout the dinner and had no doubt as to what had been happening right in front of her eyes. They never looked at each other at the same time but when Peyton was talking her husband hung onto her every word, mirroring her smile with one of his own. Looking at her like she was the only girl in the world.
So Lindsey decided to stifle her feelings with some wine and now she was angry and a little drunk. Not a great combination.
They may be lies but say that we'll be alright
Say that we're gonna be alright
Tonight
Sitting in the living room Lindsey scanned the room. Brooke and Peyton were on the opposite couch laughing about something or another. Nathan, Julian and Michael were standing near the sofa chatting and Lucas and Haley were standing close to her laughing. She smiled at the sight of her husband and his best friend before her eyes hit the blonde on the sofa. Acid filled her mouth and she felt like she was going to throw up. Instead she downed her glass of wine and dug into her purse for the offending item.
She hesitated slightly but the final nail in the coffin was when she saw her husband give Peyton a small smile, a smile she returned over Brooke's shoulder.
'Lucas.'
'Yeah, babe?' He said, turning to his wife. The term of endearment passing his lips made him cringe inwardly but he smiled all the same.
'How long have you been sleeping with Peyton?'
The room went deadly silent and everyone turned to Lucas. She knew she was slightly drunk and she didn't have a lot of evidence but the look on his face confirmed all of her worst fears. His eyes widened, his mouth opening slightly but before he could say anything his eyes had flickered to the woman in question. She was sitting there next to Brooke completely speechless, the glass in her hand halfway raised to take a sip. Her eyes met his and all he could see was pain and complete mortification.
'Are you fucking kidding me?'
Haley's voice was the one that rang out.
'Hales.' Nathan said warningly, walking over to his wife and placing a hand on her arm.
'Is it true?' Her eyes flickered from both Lucas to Peyton and Lucas let out a breath. With his eyes on Peyton he sent her a silent apology before murmuring, 'Yes.'
'What?!'
Everyone's eyes flickered to Michael as he stepped forward, his eyes on his wife.
'Is this some sort of joke?'
Peyton stood, 'Michael, please.'
His face contorted and he grabbed Peyton's arm roughly. In an instant Lucas was by her side and had pushed Michael away saying, 'Get your hands off her.'
'You fucking bastard.' Michael hissed, giving Lucas a shove away from his wife.
Nathan and Julian were between the two in an instant, keeping them away from each other.
Lindsey walked over to Peyton and the blonde stood her ground fiercely waiting for the slap she knew was going to come, instead Lindsey held out something and said, 'Your necklace Peyton. I found it in our bedroom.'
With one disgusted look at the both of them she walked out of the room and Brooke's eyes flickered to her best friend. Peyton caught her friend's gaze for a second but saw nothing but surprise and disappointment and so looked back to Lucas. All he wanted to do was remove her from the mess he'd caused, all he wanted to do was get out of here and head away; just the two of them.
'What is wrong with you both?' Haley asked exasperatedly and Peyton recoiled slightly from her words, 'Will you never learn?'
'Hales.' Lucas started but she cut in front of him.
'I cannot believe you've done this.'
'Hales.' Nathan said again placing a hand on his wife's arm.
'No Nathan.' She said shrugging him off and walking in the direction Lindsey had gone in, she stopped at the door and looked back at the two of them in contempt, 'You both disgust me.'
Her departure was met with a deathly silence. Lucas looked back to Peyton and saw she looked on the verge of breaking down. He took a step forward but Michael stepped in front of him,
'Don't you fucking dare.'
'Michael.' Peyton said desperately, placing a hand on her husband's arm. He shrugged her off in disgust and stormed out of the house. Peyton followed after him without a backward glance at Lucas.
A minute later they heard the front door slam and Lucas felt his knees go weak. Nathan looked at him as he sank down onto the couch, his head going into his hands. Sighing, the younger brother couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
'Luke.'
He raised his head and Brooke Davis stood in front of him. All of a sudden her hand was against his cheek, the crack resounding through the room. Julian stepped forward and grabbed his wife but she said in disgust,
'That's for fucking up my best friend's life, once again. I hope you're happy with yourself.'
TO BE CONTINUED...
I apologise if anyone doesn't agree with the theme, I don't advocate cheating on husbands/wives either but the muse has a mind of its own and does what it wants!
Alsooo this is going to be a 2/3 parter story so there's more to come...